Robin and Connie Pt. 01

First, a little about me. As I write this I am a sixty-three year old, still sexually active, bi, submissive woman. My stories are memories of a kinky life. I am still in the lifestyle. When this adventure started I was a 35 year old straight business consultant living with a loving partner. When 35, I was at about 125 pounds, today 140. I am still 5 foot 7 inches tall, what were 36 Cs are now 38 Ds. I was, I thought, a perfect 36-24-39 now I'm a perfect 38-29-42. I am gifted with green eyes.

In June I met a new man, Francis, while volunteering for a local charity. Fran is a mid 60s man who recently retired to my Coastal Florida community.

On our first date he told me his secret.

"Robin, for years I have carried this secret. I was married for thirty years and loved my wife but while I was married I also had a man in my life and we saw each other often. Men have come into my life over the years as have other women other than my wife."

I met Carole at a tennis clinic. Lovely woman, younger than me at 50 but we had lots in common. We play tennis almost every week with a local women's tennis club. We also belong to the same book club.

As we sat around Carole's pool with the rest of the book club members I realized that she and I were the only women in the group who were not married. By the end of the meeting Carole and I were left to clean up. As we chatted we talked about being the only "singles" in the group and laughed about how our perspectives about a book were often different than those of the married members.

Carole mentioned her ex and how she was glad to be rid of him. I talked about how I was with a man, Jeff, for years but Beth was the love of my life. I guess I never thought of it but she didn't know I was Bisexual or maybe lesbian and seemed to want to talk about it so we did.

I started by telling her that I am what I am and that sometimes talking about sexuality can strain a relationship and I didn't want that to happen to our friendship, a friendship I valued. Carole told me that she would never judge me for doing what even she thinks about. She told me that she had known and been friends with bi, lesbian and gay people before and it never changed or effected in any way their friendship. I had a feeling she wanted to know more because she had in the past, or had now, questions about her own sexuality.

I asked her if she had ever had a experience with another woman. She told me that in college she had kissed a roommate but nothing more than that. Carole went as far as confessing that she had met a woman, and not the first in her life, that she was physically sexually attracted to.

I asked her what she wanted to know. Carole asked if I could tell her how I first knew, not experimented, but knew I was Bi.

I told her my story:

Let me first explain something that is important to me about sexuality.

You may think it is total BS but it's how I live my life. I don't think I have ever just "had sex" with someone. If I did, trust me, it was only once. For me sex is an expression of love, it's a feeling of wanting to give to and submit to another person. Now, I know this will sound crazy but I believe you don't have to be "in love" to "make love."

Oh sure, as a kid I played doctor and played around with sex. In my junior year in college I "fell in love" with a young man. I was sure it was love until I realized I really didn't love him, I loved making love to him. It took me a long time to understand that I got the most pleasure from sex by making love. Over time, I realized that much of my sexual pleasure came from submitting to another persons needs or wants.

Eventually that led to a number of heterosexual relationships that were wonderful. In my first year out of college I met and became friends with a woman who was a lesbian. I don't want to minimize what happened but she kissed me and I found I wanted her to kiss me and more. We made love and it was amazing. Lisa was very feminine and knew all the buttons to push. Making love to a woman was similar but in many ways very very different than making love to a man. From that day on, I wanted both.

I never sought out partners but somehow they found me. Jeff, my ex, was that way, he found me. He was easy to be with and a great sex partner. We never married but at 35 we started living together. Jeff introduced me to what was then called the "swinger" life style. Yes, you don't have to ask, I had sex with groups of both men and women. It's not a part of my life I'm very proud of but not because of the sex, it was most often wonderful, but rather because I allowed myself, my body, to be used. Jeff had a flaw I should have seen. We were both very sexually submissive. Our relationship ended when we became almost submissive sex slaves to another couple.

I broke out from that at 39 when I took time off from my job and Jeff and went to a beach house I owned. After initially falling right back into a submissive role to a neighbor I met Beth. Even my relationship with Beth started with a need to pull ourselves out of the submissive sex slave life.

Beth and I eventually found a life together free of dominant people.

Beth died five years ago but she will always be the love of my life. Both of us had other partners individually and together but we always came back to center, Robin and Beth.

So that is a quick summary that brings us to today. I love my life. I have lots of friends and my current man, Fran, is Bi so who knows where that might lead.

I stopped talking and waited for Connie to speak.

She looked at me for a long time and said: "Thank you Robin, I needed to hear that to help me understand what I'm struggling with.

I looked and her and said: "You can tell me if you want to."

She hesitated and then, like I had turned on a firehose, she began to speak.

When I was 35 I was a practicing lawyer and married to my Ex. We were making tons of money, had a beautiful home, and a great social life. Then one day after office hours I was having a drink with a friend and she dropped a hint that my husband might be straying. That woman, Kim, was the first woman who, if you'll forgive me, made me wet. I didn't love her but......

Connie continued. I was surprised at her comment but I was also ashamed of myself because I was in fact seeing another man. I loved what you said Robin, about making love being different than being in love. The problem I had with my Ex was that I had neither. I didn't love him and I detested it when he fucked me. So he was soon my Ex.

I cashed in and retired here. I have met lots of great people and had a number of great partners in bed. I suspect that my current guy Stan is Bi or he has another woman he is seeing but I'm not really in love with him so I'm OK with that. He is a great lover and proof that with a man size does matter.

I sincerely believe what you said, Robin. It makes so much sense to me. I have made love to men since I moved here and had sex a few times. I had repeat dates with those I made love to, never with the sex partners.

Connie stopped talking.

She looked at me and thanked me again for sharing my life and feelings and letting her vent. I said: "You're welcome, anytime!"

She stood and laughed. She said: "Now if you can just tell me what to say to the woman I want." She laughed again.

I answered: "No one can tell you that. Just tell her how you feel and what you want and see what happens."

She smiled and said: "That makes sense......... So, Robin, I have very strong feelings for you and very much want to see where it might lead."