Rock Paper Scissors

I mentally face-palmed myself. She had it all wrong. "Yes Alex, I was jealous. I wasn't jealous of you though."

Realization crossed her face. "Right, that thing about you liking me before." I winced when she said "before".

"That's a little more complicated."

"Cutie, our friendship passed complicated the day we moved in together."

Damn her and her pet names.

"Fine, have it your way. But first of all, how did you know? I wasn't kidding when I said your head was up your boyfriend's ass." This earned me a slightly-less-than-playful jab to the arm.

"Christina told me before everything got all fucked up."

"Bitch." I mumbled under my breath. "Well if you must know, I originally was after Christina. I just got to know you in the process. I found that we had more in common and it just grew from there." I spoke as casually as possible, mentally plucking sunflower petals. Should I tell her, or should I not tell her?

"I'm sorry I didn't catch on back then. We never would've started sleeping with each other if I knew. I'm sure it confused the hell outta you."

"I apologize for what I'm about to say, but that's a good reason why I didn't tell you. Hell you probably wouldn't have even wanted to live with me if you knew. I liked being your friend and preferred having a minor attraction to you rather than not being your friend and falling in love with you from afar."

Her mouth was agape. "Wow."

"I know. Twisted shit."

"No, that's actually the sweetest thing anyone has said to me in a long time. So what made all that go away?"

The wind whisked away all but one of my sunflower petals. Tell her.

I glanced down at my hands, lacing my fingers nervously.

"It hasn't gone away."

"What about Adrienne?" It came out slowly, and with every word a dagger was pressed into my back.

I released a breath I didn't notice I'd been holding and I let it all flow out.

"It's been buried over time. Adrienne redirected some of my focus, but it's been there." I couldn't meet her gaze. I didn't want to see her face, her reaction. I immediately felt drained, the secret had filled up so much of my heart that once it was out I had nothing left to cling too. I laid down on the bed, facing away from Alex. The silence was deadly, and I needed and escape. I'm not sure how long she sat there working my words through her brain, but I was so devoid of energy that I didn't care.

"So am I supposed to chalk this up to you being drunk?" I suppressed a chuckle.

"As much as my aching heart wishes you could, no. This is real. And I'm going to remember every moment of it tomorrow morning." That last part scared me.

"We'll see."

I didn't have the energy to put up a fight, so I drifted into a deep sleep.

Morning came, but I'm sure I didn't move a muscle until 12:35. I opened my eyes and the light was burning my eyes like a match on kerosine. My head was banging and had I not been in my bed I would've thought I was on a rollercoaster considering the way the world was moving right now. I groaned loudly and moved to get out of the bed, only to feel a second presence beside me. I looked over my shoulder at the other body and, unlike last time, for the briefest of moments thought it was Adrienne and that the last day was just one very horrific alcohol-induced nightmare. I turned over and found Alex asleep against my pillow however, and while I was partially sad that I truly had lived through yesterdays events, I was also quite happy to have her there and completely in-the-know. We no longer had secrets, so I shamelessly watched her wake up out of the deep sleep.

"Good," I leaned over to check my clock, the movement dizzying me, "afternoon." I noticed a cup of water and two white pills. Alex must have laid those out for me. I swallowed the pills and drank the water in three gulps.

She smiled back and let out a huge yawn. "Good afternoon to you too." Even when she just woke up, she was beautiful.

"Thanks, nice to know I have an admirer." she giggled and sat up on the bed.

I looked at her quizzically, "Did I say that out loud?"

"Indeed you did."

"Shit. Alright I'm going to the bathroom." I stood up out of the bed and trudged down the stairs and checked myself in the mirror. I looked as bad as I felt. I washed my face and rearranged my hair so that I didn't look like the complete mess that I was, then went back upstairs to my room. Alex was still there, only now she was sitting up waiting for my return.

"So last night?" she asked skeptically.

"Yes yes, I admitted to having feelings for you." I waved it away, not wanting to face it again, and sat beside her on the bed.

"So where does that leave us?"

I don't know what got into me, but it was time I step up the way I never did with her.

"Well I like you, and you like me. So I'm going to correct the mistake I made three years ago."

"And what mistake was that?"

I fell into a flashback to two and a half years earlier.

Alex and Christina had just fallen apart, and now Alex was single. I'd given it a couple months to simmer down, and I thought it would be a nice time to give this a shot. We were eating lunch together between classes- a miracle considering just how hectic our schedules were this year- when I popped the question.

"So Alex, think you'd be willing to go out for dinner with me?"

She didn't even hide her horrific confusion. I saw her thought process unfold and I edited that statement faster than Roadrunner on roids. Casually and calmly as I could, I filled in the other originally non-existent half of the proposal.

"There's this guy Dante seems to be into me and I agreed to go out with him, but I'm a bit nervous. You can bring whoever you want."

"Oh! Like a double-date?" she said with a relieved voice.

"Exactly... A double date." My smile was fake, but I'd practiced hard to make it real. "I'll bring Eric. Should be fun!" That's right. Eric from Poli Sci.

"Eric? You're with Eric?"

"Oh, yeah. We've only been together for a few days now but this is actually perfect. So how about Friday at Dave & Busters?"

I nooded, a bit too numb to respond any other way. Not only did I chicken out at asking her out, but now I had to watch her date the only other person I had any interest in.

I technically got what I wanted, which was a date with Alex. Only I would be with the wrong person, and so would she.

I'd just fucked up, and I had no idea how long it would take to fix it.

"When I asked you to go on that double date with Dante, I originally meant to ask you out. Just the two of us." I chuckled out awkwardly, a hand reaching up to rub the back of my neck.

"Oh boy. That makes sense. Wait so how did you get Dante to go out with you?"

"I asked him, he said sure. I wish it had been that easy with you, but you turned six different colors when I first asked. I knew it wasn't going to work, so I eased into the double date."

She mulled that over and laughed. "So how do you plan to amend that day?"

"I'm asking you out on a date. For real this time. Just the two of us."

"Are you sure that's good idea? Remember, we're complicated."

"Then make this simple and say yes. It's just a date after all. Only its guaranteed that you're coming home with me."

She thought about it for several moments and I was very close to amending my statement like I did a few years ago, but finally she agreed.

"How does tonight sound?"

"Tonight?" I gasped.

"Well it is Friday, unless you're busy which I totally underst-" A finger came up to silence her rambling.

"I was hoping to have a bit more time to pull it together, but tonight is fine"

"Okay." She nervously grinned. When her bravado returned though, it came with a vengeance. Her hand trailed under my chin "Dress cute for me would you?"

I spent the next three hours running around town trying to pull a wonderful date together. I ate a quick omelet then took off to start setting things up for the events tonight. I figured there would be no better place to go than Alex's favorite restaurant Victorio's- we didn't go very often since it was quite expensive and relatively far. She was worth it though. I drove downtown and pulled into an open space right in front. It was relatively empty now, but I knew how packed this place could get at night. I sought out the main reason I came so early.

"Hey David!" I waved energetically at the host.

"Dana? Is that Dana?" he remarked sarcastically, "Why how nice of you to grace us with your presence."

"Oh shut up David." I rolled my eyes at my friend. We met in a class a couple years back and he was the true reason Alex and I had discovered the restaurant at all, considering his father owned it.

"Where you been the last 6 months?"

"In a nutshell, busy."

"Well its nice to see you." he came around his podium to give me a hug. "So what can I do for you?"

"I need a booth. Preferably that one in the corner by the dance floor." I gestured towards the table I had in mind.

"Okay," he scribbled on a small notepad, "What else?"

"I want this meal in the order its listed." I slid him a piece of paper with a 4 course meal.

"Nice choices. Anything else?"

"One song."

"You've got it." He finished writing his notes. "Good thing you're doing all this in advance, which reminds me, when do you want all this ready by?"

"Eight, tonight."

"Tonight?! This is a lot to prep in," he checked his watch, "7 hours! I don't even know if I can reserve a table for today!"

"David please, it's the most important thing to me and I was planning on making your tip fatter than a weeks work."

He sighed heavily, my offer was hard to refuse. "Fine, but only because I like you. Who is this person anyway? This is a lot to go through, even for you."

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Ooooh, juicy. Try me."

"Alex."

"Oh the cutie on the water polo team? Wait no, he's gay. Okay Alex on the debate team? He's pretty nerdy but I like the change of pace or maybe you mean-"

"No no no, girl Alex."

"Oh yeah my apologies, I forget you date girls from time to time. So which Alex do you mean? I only know one."

"That's the one."

He froze like a statue, then looked me once over. "Are you okay?"

"Oh shut up, I'm fine. Yes, Alexandria. My roommate."

"WHAT THE FUCK? Where did this come from? But- you and her are, well I thought- but that's..." he slowed his words down and took a deep breath. "Finally!!"

Now I was the confused one, "What?"

"Well it's about time. Took y'all long enough. Who asked who?"

I never told Ezra, let alone anyone else, about how I felt towards Alex. Christina just happened to find out. How the hell did he know?

"Umm, I asked her. What do you mean finally?" More specifically was it that obvious?

"I've been betting on you two getting together for a while now. Good to know you finally wised up."

I wanted to slap him, but he had a point.

"In fact, don't worry about the tip. I'll make sure it all happens. 8pm okay?"

"Uh yeah, that would be perfect."

"You got it. I'll even stay late to serve you myself."

"Just so you can see us together?"

"Of course!"

Now off to find an outfit.

Alex

"I have three dresses, and I'm not sure which one to wear." I laid them out on the bed for Ezra to deliberate. "Each one has a different message too."

He had been kind enough to look past the mess that had unravelled before him and help me with the date tonight. I know he was filled with questions, but perhaps he figured time would tell.

"What does the red one mean?"

The deep blue dress was short and had no sleeves. The entire thing was tight clinging, as were most of my dresses, but the neckline was quite modest. "This is the dress I wore the first time Dana and I went out. It was a double date and she and I were with other people, but it was a first."

"Okay, and this one? I think I remember this one." he gestured to the second dress on the bed.

"This is the dress I wore the day Adrienne came over for dinner."

"And why is it in this pile?"

"Because I know it gets Dana's attention." I looked away and down to the floor.

"Alright then... and the black one?"

The white long sleeved dress stretched all the way to the floor with a very long slit along the right leg. It was elegant, but suggestive. The front wasn't necessarily low cut, but the back was almost completely cut out. "Believe it or not, Dana convinced me to buy this. It wasn't much my style, but she thought it would look nice on me so I bought it. Never wore it though."

"Try it on for me?" he handed me the dress. I slipped into the bathroom and slid on the dress. It was surprisingly heavy, but it hung off my shoulders in a way that gave me the elegance I wanted. I let my hair out of its messy ponytail and let it fall down in its natural wild directions.

"Well let me see it!" Ezra hollered from the bedroom. I opened the door and stood before my roommate. With a loud gasp he clasped his hands. "That's the one." I smiled and looked at myself again in the mirror. He came up behind me to zip up the back of the dress, pulling in every curve together. He placed his hands on my shoulders and smiled. "I'm happy for you, you know."

"You don't have to say that, I know it's a lot to take in."

"To be completely honest, I wondered why this hadn't happened before. You two are always so affectionate, I figured one of you had to be flirting. I just didn't expect the frequent sex that I somehow knew nothing about."

"Yeah, sorry about that. Our friendship developed in a fucked up way."

"I wouldn't say that. It's your relationship that developed in a fucked up way."

I laughed at the snide joke. He was right, and admittedly it scared the living shit out of me. How could we have a decent relationship after everything that's happened?

My panic was halted by the sound of footsteps down the hall.

"Anybody home?" Dana called from the hallway. Ezra and I shared a panicked look, I didn't want her to see me yet. I ran into the bathroom and shut the door. I wasn't sure why she couldn't see me, but something made me want to make this as much as a surprise as possible. I doubt she even remembered I had this dress. Either way, I knew this was going to be an eventful night.

Dana

Ezra nearly slammed into me when we met face to chest in front of Alex's room.

"Something the matter?"

"Uhhh no, just coming out to greet my favorite roommate."

"Hey!" Alex called from inside her room. I smiled and made an attempt to go into the room with her, but was met again with the wall that was Ezra.

"Hehe, one second." and with that he slipped back into the room, shutting the door in my face. I heard whispers and placed my ear against the door in hopes of understanding what the point of the secrecy was for. I heard intense shuffling and even a couple thumps and thuds. The occasional "ouch!" rang out, but in less than 30 seconds a breathless Alex threw open the door, causing me to stumble in.

"All good here?" I looked between the mischievous looking roommates.

"Oh yeah, we're good. Just... talking." she shared a knowing glance. I figured it wasn't worth knowing.

"Anyway, Alex we leave at 7:00." I gave the them one last narrowed glance then turned to leave the room.

It took the remaining hours before both of us were ready to leave- of course Alex was still in the bathroom at 6:59- but when she came down the stairs, I knew it was completely worth it. Her hair was pinned on one side and hung freely on the other, her ears were adorned with simply black drop earrings and she wore a silver necklace. What placed me in a state of awe however, was the dress. I remembered the exact day she bought it.

It was Black Friday and we were at the biggest mall in town. Alex woke me up at 5am to get to the mall by 5:30 to wait in an ever-growing line to get into violent arguments over a measly piece of clothing. Did I mention all I ate was a croissant? It's just rounding 2pm now and if one more person shoves past me, I will personally rip out their esophagus. Believe it or now though, those weren't the reasons I was going insane. What was boiling my blood, was being forced into a small dressing room with a constantly nearly naked Alex. I'd seen her half naked- and completely naked on rare embarrassing occasions- but now there was no more than 2 feet between us and I could see every detail and contour than made up her toned stomach, her back dimples, and her rounded breasts. She tried on outfit after outfit in hopes of finding something specifically for her upcoming date with her boyfriend. I knew he was no good for her, in fact I was pretty sure he was screwing my lab partner, but I couldn't bring myself to meddle in Alex's love life considering just how biased I was. I sat there twiddling my thumbs and looking around the small room, searching for some other visual purchase in the plain walls. My eyes kept drifting back to her though, and at some point I just let myself stare.

"Are you okay?" she asked suddenly.

My eyes snapped up from her well curved ass, "What? Yeah I'm perfectly fine."

She studied me for a long moment. She was clad in only her bra and underwear. "Would you tell me if you were attracted to me?"

Whatever blush showed on my cheeks immediately vanished. "Umm... well I don't think- but I guess..."

"I know you're not gay, and I'm not even the slightest bit perturbed about you dating girls. I just wondered if... You know," she suddenly got self conscious, "It's not important. You were into Christina anyway."

I watched her nervously curl a piece of her hair behind her hair as she turned her back to me, looking into the dressing room mirror. In some alternate universe I stood up, spun her around and kissed her with all the pent up frustration I'd felt. In another, perhaps I told her the truth and admitted to the fact that I thought she was sexy as hell. In this universe however, I sat there dumbfucked and said something retarded. "We're good friends Alex. Even if I did find you attractive, I wouldn't make a mess out of it all by telling you."

Her eyes dropped and she let a small smile slide across her face. "Right. That's... sweet of you."

"What's this about?" I asked, sensing this wasn't just about us. She took a deep breath as her eyes watered.

"It's Jason. Lately I've just felt like I'm not enough for him. I catch him flirting with other girls and I can't figure out what the problem is."

I couldn't stand to see her so upset. Disregarding her lack of clothing, I stood and wrapped my arms around her from behind, placing my chin on her shoulder. Making eye contact through the mirror, I whispered in her ear, "My sexuality aside, you are beautiful. Jason doesn't deserve you if that's what he's been doing. I'd never let a day go by that I didn't make sure you knew just how gorgeous you are." I felt like a bottle of soda that had just been opened slightly. It wasn't the release I wanted, but it was enough to relieve the pressure in my chest. "That's if, I was into you like that of course." I pulled away to hold her at arms length.

"I know. Thanks though. You always know what to say to make me feel better." She looked down at herself, noticing that she was still hardly dressed. She immediately scooped up her clothes and started putting them back on.

"Oh wait, you didn't try this one on." I grabbed the last dress on a hanger.

"Come on Dana, we both know I can't pull that off."

"It's the only thing I picked, and you owe me for dragging me through all this without food."

She looked at the dress again. "Fine, but only because you've been so nice today." She leaned in and pressed a kiss to my cheek, making my skin burn where she touched me. As it turned out, the dress looked great on her. It was sexy but elegant, and after an argument that led all the way up the the purchase counter she finally agreed to get it. Part of me was sad at the purchase though, because I knew that whoever Alex did wear that for was most likely not going to be me.