Rocky Mountain High Pt. 02

"Really?"

"Really! Look, this," she put her hand over his heart, "this is all so new to us, we've barely begun, you and I. I'm not saying no - I could never say no to you. But as you say, there would be a lot of things to consider. It's probably best that I do go back on the pill, at least for now. All I'm saying is let's take it one step at a time, okay? Can we do that?" She leaned in and hugged him tightly, her head on his shoulder. "But honestly, Ryan, the thought of being your wife-"

He pulled back, surprised. "My wife? You would? I mean, I know we couldn't officially get married, but you could see us like that, husband and wife?"

She took his face between her hands and kissed him. "Absolutely yes, Ryan. In fact, I'd say yes right now."

-:-

It was still snowing the next morning as they woke up together in each other's arms. Her hair was disheveled; the bed linens were once again an unholy mess after another session of deep and passionate love-making. It surprised her, the reality of how quickly he had transformed from being her son into her lover, the deep connection between them that went so far beyond simple sexual attraction. He opened his eyes and caught her staring at him. "Everything okay?" he asked as he stretched out the tight muscles in his back.

She leaned in and kissed him. "Oh, we're way beyond okay, Sweetheart."

"That's good to hear." He twisted around to take a look out through the glass wall at the head of his mother's bed. "Hmm, looks like winter is back again."

"So it does. Should we head over to the club today, get a little exercise back into our lives?"

"Back into our lives? Good god, how much more exercise do we need?"

She laughed out loud and started pushing him off the bed with her feet. "This doesn't qualify, Ryan! Exercise is supposed to hurt, don't you know that?"

"I respectfully disagree! But sure, a few runs would do us good, I suppose." He got up and headed for the bathroom. "I'll book lift tickets after I have a quick shower."

"Sounds like a plan."

-:-

He stood in the garage, standing beside Claire's low-slung sports car as Diana grabbed the last of her things, getting ready to go. He knew its all-wheel drive could handle the road conditions but... He eyed the vintage Jeep Cherokee two bays over, his sister's true pride and joy. It was twenty-five years old but looked almost brand new. He thought about the snowy roads, the weather on the way to the ski club.

"Hey Mom, do you think Claire would mind if we took the Jeep?"

"Well, it'll be your neck on the block if anything happens to it but I can't see her minding at all. That's why it's here, isn't it? The thing is made for places like this. She'd probably appreciate us not dragging the Audi through the mess out there."

He pulled a set of keys from a cabinet beside the interior door, punched a series of numbers into a keypad nearby. The garage door behind the Jeep slid open. "Let's go, then." He opened the passenger door for her, then climbed into the driver's seat and fired the engine. They backed out, made sure the garage door closed firmly, then headed for the street. He loved driving the old beast - a total workout with the heavy clutch and steering and the four-wheel drive. Nothing got in its way. It could go anywhere. He chuckled to himself as a thought crossed his mind.

Diana looked at him. "What's so funny?"

"Oh, a strange kind of comparison just popped into my head."

"Such as?"

"This Jeep - it's like us in the hot tub last night. But we're all Audi R8 the rest of the time."

She laughed and punched his shoulder. "Don't be so crude!"

"Well, it's true isn't it?"

She thought for a moment. "I suppose you're right. Yes, things got a little hot and heavy last night, didn't they? Why was that? My god, if you'd gone any deeper-"

"I didn't hear you complaining. I heard a lot of other things but-"

She punched him again.

"Ouch! Okay, okay! But it feels good, doesn't it? Knowing we can be both?"

"Yes, Hon, it does. Does it surprise you at all, how quickly we've become a couple - become lovers? I can't help but think we've been preparing ourselves for this all along."

"Me? No surprise. It's been years - I've been in love with you for years."

She took his hand, squeezed hard. "Me too, Ryan. I can't explain it but there've been times when I've absolutely ached to have you. I never thought we'd reach this point but, well, here we are and I can't imagine not being with you, loving you like this."

They drove the rest of the way in silence, her hand on his thigh, squeezing it now and then, watching him handle the Jeep as if it was second-nature to him. She sighed. I can't believe it's happened. I finally have him. All of him. Don't ever let this end.

-:-

They spent the rest of the day on the slopes, revelling in the fresh powder, the speed and challenge. They congratulated each other at the bottom of every run, snuggled close like young lovers in the gondola back up the mountain. It felt good to be out in the cold, clear air. As evening started to set in they headed for the clubhouse, feeling tired but good, left their gear with staff and ordered brandies in the small bar upstairs that overlooked the ski runs. They sank down into the deep, leather club chairs that were arranged side-by-side, facing the windows, a crackling wood fire in the huge stone hearth behind them.

"So tell me, who's the lucky girl?"

"Hmm? Who? What lucky girl?"

"The one you mentioned last night, the only other one you'd ever marry, have a family with? Do I know her? Should I be worried she might snatch you away?"

"Oh. Her."

"Well?"

"No, you don't have to worry about her. There's no competition between you two."

"Does she have a name?"

"Yes." He looked straight into her eyes. "Yes, she does." He held her gaze for a long time, saying nothing. He squeezed her hand, held it tightly. Then she understood.

"Claire. You're talking about Claire," she whispered, awestruck.

He nodded. "She's the only one I've ever loved anywhere near as much as you."

She was lost for words and sat quietly, leaning towards her son, holding both his hands in hers. Her children's relationship suddenly made sense. This wasn't sibling love. These two were in love with each other. And she knew they'd been in love for a long, long time.

"Say something, Mom."

"I-I don't know what to say, Hon. I-"

"You must think I'm some sort of freak."

"What? No! How could I possibly? How could I do what we've done and somehow condemn you for how you feel about Claire? That makes no sense! Ryan! Look at me! I don't, Hon. I don't feel that way at all!"

"Then how do you feel?"

"How do I feel? I'm in love with you, Ryan, that's how I feel. You know that. And I know you love me. I don't doubt it for a second. And at the same time, I know that you love Claire, truly love her. You've never done anything to hurt her, ever. Who else can say that? Who am I to say it's wrong? How could anyone?" She brought his hands to her lips and kissed them, held them to her cheek. "Does she know how you feel about her, about wanting a family?"

"No, she doesn't."

"And why is that, Hon?"

"Because what would be the point? It could never happen. How would that even work? It would be awfully hard to explain how or even why she got pregnant. I could never really be the father, you know? It would always be a secret. I don't know if I could handle that or if even she could, for that matter. And then there's all the risks involved for the baby, the genetic risks. I don't know if I could do that, knowing what might happen. On top of it all, Claire would probably freak out if I told her what I was thinking."

"I think I know my own daughter well enough to say that wouldn't happen. She loves you. I know she does. It might shock her a little - chances are it would - but she wouldn't run screaming from the room, if that's what you're afraid of." She sat closer, not sure how he would react to her next question. "Hon? Can I ask? Don't feel you have to tell me."

He understood the look on her face, knew exactly what she wanted to know. "Have we ever...?" She nodded, biting her bottom lip. He took a deep breath. "No, we haven't."

A sense of relief washed over Diana. She was back on steady ground. "Have you ever wanted to?"

"Oh for sure, yes. At one point we were really close to going all the way but it scared us, it was that final step neither of us was sure we could take. We wanted each other, and we've done pretty much everything else but it's not supposed to happen, right? Brothers and sisters - and mothers - aren't supposed to be attracted to each other like this. It's strange. Maybe we're missing a gene or something."

"Maybe we are. Or maybe we love each other more than most. The bottom line is we do love each other this way, and that's all that matters to me. But what I really don't understand is Claire getting married. If she feels the same way as you do, then why? Why on Earth would she marry someone else?"

"Because we agreed it was the right thing to do. It would have been a dead-end street for her if she stayed with me for the rest of her life. I told her she needed to find someone who could make her happy, make her whole, be her real husband. Well, she fought me hard on that, really hard, but eventually I convinced her. It wasn't easy to watch it happen but she did find someone, so here we are. She's married. She's starting a life of her own. She needed to. End of."

Diana shook her head. "I don't think so. I can't explain it, don't ask me how I know, but your story is over yet."

"Well, there's one thing I'm sure of: the story won't ever get between you and me. I can guarantee that." He stood up, walked to the window and watched the skiers coursing down the mountain in the growing dark. She came up behind him, wrapped her arms around his waist.

"Have you ever heard of elephant shoes?" she whispered.

"Of what? Elephant shoes?" He turned to face her. "What on earth are you talking about?"

She took his hands in hers. "Elephant shoes! Never? It's how people get the message to each other without saying the words, like a secret code." She took a step back. "Watch my mouth. Elephant shoes."

"Okaaay? I'm not getting it."

"Now, without the sound."

He got it. I love you.

"If we're ever in a crowded room and I want you to know how much I love you, just watch me bring up the subject of elephant shoes."

-:-

They pulled into the garage as night closed in, feeling tired and sore, ready for a relaxing glass of wine in front of the fire. Diana went to enter the security code at the door but saw the green lights were already on. "Hmm, that's odd. Ryan, did we forget to turn the system on when we left?"

"No, I'm sure it was on. I punched the code in when I grabbed the keys for the Jeep. At least, I'm pretty sure. I can't believe we'd forget something like that."

"Well, it's off now."

"Hang on, don't go in by yourself." He was at her side in a moment as she headed down the hallway, wary. Suddenly she let out a sharp cry as she entered the living room. He brought his elbows up, ready for anything.

"What's wrong?"

Her eyes were wide, a hand over her mouth as she pointed at the far wall.

There was a large stain splashed across the wall, a shattered wineglass on the floor below it. He stepped in front of her, every muscle in his body tense, alert.

"What the hell?"

Then he saw them - the set of luggage scattered in the front entranceway, the boots and trench coat tossed carelessly on the floor.

"Claire? Claire, is that you? Where are you?"

Diana put her hand on his shoulder, leaned in and saw her daughter's things at the front door. She ran across the room, down the hall toward Claire's closed bedroom door. "Claire? Claire!" She paused, her hand on the door lever. She could hear crying. "Sweetheart, is that you?" She cracked the door open, gingerly, expecting anything. The light was dim but enough to show her daughter curled up in a ball in the middle of her bed, sobbing, taking deep, shuddering gasps, grief pouring from her.

"Claire!" Diana ran to her, climbed onto the bed and hugged her tightly, trying to draw whatever pain Claire felt into herself, away from her daughter. "Claire." she whispered, rocking her. "I'm here. We're here. Claire, Sweetheart, what's happened? Why are you home?"