Roderick's Tale

I climbed the steps, reached into my waistcoat, and pulled out the letter. I passed it to him. "Grandfather, I need to freshen up. This explains it. It is all true." He tried to take it, but I held on. "This is for your eyes only." He looked into my eyes before nodding.

"Your room has been prepared. Clean up, and meet me in the library," Grandfather gruffly ordered.

I nodded my thanks and left to wash and change.

I worked quickly, washing the dust away, and changed into my clean, though wrinkled, clothing. Ready, I made haste to the library. Grandfather was the only one there when I entered, so I secured the door. I took the seat opposite my grandfather.

He didn't look at me; instead, he reread the letter. Finally, he sighed and raised the page to the candle on the desk. The paper quickly caught, and he tossed the page into the fireplace behind him. He faced me again only when the entire page was turned to ash.

His eyes were hard as he took me in. "This is true?" he asked, pointing to the fireplace behind him. I knew from his tone that he was furious, but I didn't have the answer for whether he was angry with me or what they did?

I nodded. "Yes, sir. Every word."

His eyes narrowed, and my heart beat faster. I felt nervous but recounted everything that happened the evening before, right up until arriving here. I tried my best to recite the woman's words verbatim. I made sure to include my decision about the women choosing whether they wished to take the abortifacient drink my housekeeper was brewing or not.

Grandfather sat back and listened to my explanation. When I finished speaking, he didn't say anything. He merely regarded me.

The longer he didn't say anything, the more uncomfortable I became. My palms became sweaty, and my breathing increased.

Finally, Grandfather nodded and sat forward. "I think you did the right thing. I will think on this more tonight. For now, get something to eat. Change into a housecoat. I'll send one of the staff to collect your clothing to be pressed. I'll also have an urgent telegram sent to your mother, letting her know of your safe arrival." He paused in thought for a moment. "Have you sent word to your aunt about Ephram or any of this?"

My face fell. "No. It never crossed my mind."

He nodded. "I'll send word to her as well. I'll instruct her to visit your estate in three day's time. I'll include that in the message to your mother as well."

Grandfather stood, and I stood as well as he walked around the desk. He clapped me on my shoulder, "Go rest. You've had a trying time, and we will talk more tomorrow."

I again nodded my thanks. As I left the library, my weariness hit me. It almost felt as though I would fall over right then.

When I made it to my room, I changed as instructed and fell into bed. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I was asleep.

***

The following day the chambermaid woke me with a knock on the door. She remained in the open doorway and curtsied. "Beggin' your pardon, sir. Your grandfather has sent for you to break your fast with him. Your clothing has been set out in the dressing room."

I nodded from my bed. She curtsied again and closed the door. I quickly got ready for the day and headed for the dining room. I found Grandfather and Grandmother there and, as bid, joined them at the table.

"Good morning Roderick," Grandmother greeted me.

I smiled at her and glanced between her and Grandfather.

Sensing my unease, Grandfather nodded. "She knows."

Glancing back at Grandmother, I smiled again. "Morning, Grandmother. Though I'm not sure yet if it is good or not."

She nodded. "Yes, I suppose you're correct. It's a shame what's happened to those girls."

I nodded, and a state of melancholy settled over me from knowing my role in what happened to them.

After that, we enjoyed our meal, though speaking about safe topics. I knew we would have to keep the more pressing matters until we were safely away from servants' ears.

When we finished our meal, we adjourned to the parlour. Grandfather asked his wife to join us.

As we changed rooms, I couldn't help but notice the flurry of activity. The servants were rushing around, and it was clear that they were getting things ready for travel.

When we were safely in the parlour, Grandfather ensured that we would not be disturbed, and I closed and locked the doors.

"Grandmother, you mentioned the girls. I feel terrible for what I had to do. I couldn't see a way to save any of us. I'd thought they'd killed Ephram at that point. What can we do for them now? I'm willing to marry Edith, but what can be done for Faith? And what if Mother ends up pregnant?" I asked, babbling.

Though I spoke to my grandmother, Grandfather was the one to answer. "Calm down, Roderick. We won't know that we will have to do anything unless they become pregnant. If they are not pregnant, we find a discreet gentleman who will marry your sister. As you are willing to marry Edith, that is probably for the best in either case."

Grandmother peered at me while Grandfather spoke. When he finished, she turned to him and asked, "What if Faith or Celeste do end up pregnant?"

Grandfather sighed. "If Celeste ends up pregnant, we get her seen in public with her husband. I will speak with him about it and make sure he stays in line with our desires."

"And Faith, Grandfather?" I asked.

He sighed. "I don't know. I have an outlandish idea, but there are too many variables to discuss now."

Grandfather looked around the room before standing up. "Well, come on. If we are to leave today, we will need to do so shortly."

I followed my grandparents as we left the parlour. "We're heading back to my estate today?"

Grandfather nodded. "Yes. I sent a rider ahead to ensure space on the train for our luggage and your horses. The rest of our belongings we need will follow by carriage."

I nodded my understanding and helped with the preparations to leave. I knew most of the staff from my time fostering there, and we all fell into old habits, as I directed things as needed. It wasn't long before we were ready. I joined my grandparents in their carriage, and my horses were tied behind it.

It wasn't long before we were seated comfortably on the train south.

Chapter 7

By the time we arrived at my estate, it was late, well past midnight. Though Grandfather had sent ahead word of our arrival, only Edith and Mr. Jakobe received us.

"Welcome back, sir," my butler said to me, bowing.

While at the same time, Edith gave a slight curtsy, "It's nice to see you again, Grandpapa, Grandmama." Then she stepped forward and gave each of us a hug.

When she hugged me, she whispered in my ear, "I've missed you too."

I couldn't help but smile at her words.

"Where are the others?" I asked.

Worry crossed Edith's face, and Mr. Jakobe answered. "Sir, young Agnes is in bed. Your mother and sister have taken ill, and it seems Mr. Davies has a fever; they are all in bed also. Mrs. Mornington believes it is an infection plaguing Mr. Davies' wound. I've sent for the physician."

I nodded my understanding and thanked the man. "Please take my grandparents to their rooms. Is there water in my room? Good. Thank you."

I turned and took in my cousin and grandparents. "If there is nothing else to discuss, then we should be to bed." They all agreed. My grandparents went with Mr. Jakobe, and I escorted Edith to her room.

Standing outside her room, she turned to face me. "Thank you for everything, Roderick."

I smiled and cocked my head off to one side as I examined my cousin. "Mother and Faith aren't really ill, are they?" I asked.

"Oh, they are quite ill. Of that, I assure you. But they will be fine."

"And you are not ill," I stated.

Edith smiled coyly. "No, I am not."

Though nothing had been explicitly said, I knew that she had not taken the tincture prepared by my housekeeper. This knowledge pleased me beyond expression.

"Sleep well, Edith."

"You too, Roderick." She leaned in and gave me a chaste kiss on the cheek before turning into her room.

***

I couldn't sleep, and so, in the early predawn hours, I lit a lamp and wandered the halls. I passed room after room, and soon my feet led me to my study. I lit more lamps about the room and sat at my desk. I didn't plan on doing anything other than think.

The past few days had been almost non-stop action, and I had not had a moment to process through the events.

Before I could truly begin to process, though, my eyes fell on something on my desk. I picked up the card and read it over. "The invitation!"

I immediately pulled out paper, pen, and my inkwell. I penned an apology to the Williamsons to let them know that we regretfully will not be able to attend their party. I left it vague, alluding to the fact that some of my family were ill. I proposed by way of an apology when we were well that we would host them for dinner. I signed and sealed the letter and made a mental note to have one of the servants deliver it directly.

"What are you doing up?" my grandfather asked from the doorway. He stood in his relaxed house attire, holding a lamp.

"Grandfather!" I smiled up at him, "I could ask you the same thing."

He chuckled, and we both moved to sit in the padded chairs by the fireplace.

"I couldn't sleep. I came here to think but ended up taking care of some business instead," I replied to his question.

He smirked at me. "What business could you be doing at this ungodly hour?"

"We were invited to a garden party today. I forgot about it with everything, but I spotted the invitation. I'm sending our apologies as we are unable to attend."

"Nonsense. Some of you may not be able to attend, but Mercy and I could take Agnes and possibly Edith. If you have already accepted the invitation, there is no point in insulting your hosts by not showing."

I thought about Grandfather's words before nodding. "Very well, I'll pen a new letter informing them of the changes to our party."

Grandfather smiled and nodded.

After destroying the first letter and penning the second one, I rejoined Grandfather. A few minutes later, Grandfather looked at me intently. "Roderick, are you dealing with this situation? I can't imagine going through what you described or having to make the decisions you did."

I shrugged. "I did what needed to be done. Nothing more."

"That doesn't mean that it wasn't hard on you. Or that your psyche can handle those choices."

I shrugged again but thought about what my grandfather was asking. Finally, I replied, "Yes, I think I am fine with it. At least my part in it. I wish that it hadn't happened. But I'm glad I could do what needed doing, in a genteel manner. If I hadn't, they would have been raped, not taken with love."

Grandfather nodded. "Try and get some rest, son. I don't think things will slow down soon."

I nodded, believing my grandfather's prophecy to be true.

***

The next day, my grandparents and Agnes went to the garden party. They spent the morning preparing for it and then were gone.

While they dealt with that, I escorted the physician to the waiting patients, accompanied by Edith.

He first looked over Ephram and confirmed that an infection had set in. He made an ointment out of camphor, honey, and oil of sesame. He smeared this concoction onto Ephram's wound and told us to reapply twice a day until healed.

When he examined Mother, I stayed off to the side in Mother's dressing room. Initially, he didn't say anything; instead, we moved along to Faith. Again, I stayed in the dressing room while he examined my sister.

Finally, he joined me, "May we speak privately?"

"Of course, doctor," I replied, motioning for him to enter the next room. I looked at Edith, "Please check on Mother, and then Faith again."

A worried expression crossed her face, but she nodded and left to do as asked.

I joined the physician and closed the door behind me.

He cleared his throat and looked uncomfortable. "Mr. Livingstone, I want to verify that this is your estate. Your household."

I nodded. "Yes. This is my estate, and my mother and sister live here with me."

"What of your father?"

I shook my head. "My father remains in the capital, and we have not been in his company in over a year."

The doctor nodded. "Both your mother and sister are showing signs of poisoning. I've seen this in girls and unwed young women a few times before. Each time the women had extramarital relations and ended up pregnant, and they drank a tea of some sort to terminate the pregnancy."

My heartbeat sped at his words. I hoped guilt wasn't plastered on my face.

I took a deep breath. "What are you implying, sir?"

The doctor's eyes narrowed for a moment, but then his face turned impassive. "I'm not implying anything, Mr. Livingstone. I'm simply informing you of what their symptoms tell me."

I nodded. "Very well. What can be done about this, whether it is poisoning or not?"

He shook his head. "We could try bloodletting them, but otherwise, they are in the hands of God."

I blanched at those words. I played that the concoction Mrs. Mornington made was not so potent as to kill them.

"Very well. I don't think it wise to bloodlet them. Thank you, doctor, for your visit. Please, have your factor contact me to settle the bill. Also, please send more of the camphor if you have it."

I shook the doctor's hand and saw him out.

As soon as he was away, I returned to Faith.

I knocked and let myself in. I sat in the chair beside her bed and held her hand.

Through all of this, Faith peered up at me, her eyes welling.

"I'm sorry, Rodi."

I attempted to smile for her. "There is nothing to be sorry about, dear Sister. I understand and love you no matter what."

She sobbed, and tears flowed down my cheeks. Faith cried herself to sleep, so I left her to visit Mother.

When I knocked on Mother's door, Edith opened it. I strode in and sat, taking Mother's hand as I'd done with Faith.

Mother's face looked flushed, and her pupils were wide. Immediately I could tell something was different.

I glanced between Mother and Edith. Edith's face was also flushed.

I sat up. "Were you two-- doing something before I arrived?"

Both women blushed furiously. Their blush answered my question. I didn't know what to think about that, so I filed the information away for later.

Leaning close again, I looked at my mother.

"Are you sad I drank the potion?" Mother asked me.

I smiled at her. "Of course not. As I said yesterday morning, it was each woman's choice. And I will support that choice."

She smiled at me.

"Are you feeling better, Mother?" I asked.

"My innards are still cramping, but yes, I am feeling better."

"Good. Rest now. I have things to attend to."

Mother smiled at me, and after placing a kiss on the back of her hand, I left her room.

In the hall, Edith's sing-song voice stopped me. "Are you mad at me?"

I turned to take in her expression. I was taken with her beauty yet again. "What would anger me such that you need ask?"

Edith shook her head and stepped close. "For kissing your mother."

"Ah," I nodded my understanding to give me a moment to think. "No, I'm not angered. I don't truly understand it, but I'm not angry about it."

"Thank you, Roderick. You are a good man."

I couldn't help but feel proud of her words. I bowed my head in thanks, and we parted ways.

***

After another week had passed, Mother and Faith seemed to be past the illness caused by the abortifacient potion. Ephram, with the salve the doctor prescribed, fought off the infection. He still had a long way to go to be healed, but he was on the right path now.

During this time, Aunt Lola arrived. She, as with my grandparents, stayed with us. I was glad about this. Though I ran my estate well and even had no hesitation in teaching Ephram what he needed to know, I enjoyed being able to discuss with Grandfather the issues at hand. I enjoyed debating the differing points of view on varying topics. All of this was one of the things I missed most about having completed my apprenticeship and moving back home.

Having Aunt Lola with us also was beneficial for my cousins. They hadn't been with us long, but with everything that had happened, they were glad to see their mother.

Though there was no real reason for Grandfather to stay with us, now that the worst of the issues from the attack had been allayed, he did so, I think, to be on hand when it was adamantly determined about the pregnancies.

Once Faith was past her illness, it seemed as though she pulled away from me. She was at most coldly polite with me. She seemed to find excuses to leave the room when I was there. I feared the change in her was caused by what I had done to her. I found out it was, but not in the way I'd feared.

Four weeks after the attack, I came down to break my fast and was greeted by most of my family. The only one who was not present was Faith. After filling my plate and taking my place at the table, I asked, "Has my sister already eaten?"

All the others shook their heads negatively. At first, I didn't think much of it, and we enjoyed the meal. We spoke about what we planned for the day, the weather, and other mundane things. As the others began finishing their meals, and Faith still hadn't joined us, I began to wonder.

I noticed the others' expressions as well. Since Edith had finished eating, I asked her, "Cousin, could you please go check on Faith? I pray she has not fallen ill."

"Of course, Roderick," she replied before excusing herself.

We continued the meal, and neither Faith nor Edith joined us.

"I wonder what's taking them." Grandfather stated, finishing his coffee.

I nodded my agreement with his wonder.

Mother wiped her mouth and tossed her napkin down. Standing up, she explained, "I'll find out the issue."

Agnes spoke animatedly with Grandmother about the book she was currently reading. I smiled at her indulgently, as was my grandmother. Those of us at the table listened to her story until someone cleared their throat.

I looked over, and one of the chambermaids stood there. She curtsied, "Beggin' your pardon, Sir. Lady Livingstone requests your presence in Miss Livingstone's chambers."

Grandfather and I shared a look before we both stood. I thanked the maid and sent her on her way. Together we made haste up to Faith's room. The door stood open, and when we looked in, I didn't know what to make of the scene.

Faith sat on her bed, sobbing into Mother's shoulder. Mother did what she could to comfort her. Edith stood by the unlit fireplace, with her hand on her stomach and a dazed look and little smile on her face.

Grandfather and I closed the door behind us.

"What is going on?" Grandfather asked sternly.

Edith looked over, and upon spotting me, she rushed up to me. Grabbing my hands, she smiled wide. "Roderick, I believe I am pregnant!"

At Edith's words, Faith's sobs got worse. At the same time, hearing her words sent warmth through me. I was to be a father!

Then the crying cut through the happiness, and I looked over to Faith.

I gave Edith's hands a squeeze before releasing them and moving over to sit beside my sister opposite Mother. "Dear Sister. Faith, are you pregnant as well?"

She glanced over at me, her eyes pouring tears. Seeing her like this broke my heart. She nodded in response. "Yes. I am two weeks past when my flow should have started."

Hearing this, I felt mixed emotions. As with Edith, I felt happy, ecstatic, that I would be a father; yet at the same time, knowing this was not what Faith wanted pained me.

I wrapped my arms around my sister, ensuring I captured my mother as well in my embrace. "Faith, I love you. I stand by my word. I will love and support you no matter what."