Rose Faded

"I'm not even thirty-years old and basically in menopause," snapped Rose, "What do you expect? Pain was way worse than recovering from birth, and I have nightmares about having to sneeze. Stitches are really starting to pinch and itch. Is that good enough for you?"

"I'm really sorry you went through that," Troy said sincerely.

"You mean one of the scariest moments of my life, and all I really wanted at that point was to have the person that meant the most to me to be there for support. And when I begged everyone to try and find you and make you be there for me, I find out..." Her voice cracked. "I find out you were already in bed, spending the night, with another woman."

Troy didn't know how to respond. Lisa was right, his indiscretion did bother Rose more than she let out. He was thinking of something to say, but nothing came to him.

"Well, I have no one else to blame but myself, do I?" Rose said breaking the awkward silence. "Look, Lisa dropped by this morning -- pretending to bring some toy Brady forgot at their place. I'm still not doing couple's counseling -- if this is a follow-up."

"No, I didn't know she was doing that," Troy said, "She did say you might need counseling for what you're going through. Rose, can't you accept I'm just calling to see how you are doing?"

"Troy, we can't do this. Small talk like everything is okay," Rose said in a frustrated voice.

"It's working so far. Did they tell you the chance of any complications? Or when you'll know if you'll have any?"

"Troy, that's a little personal!" Rose said, sounding offended. After a pause, she said, "Fine. I can take hormones, but without a uterus, it will do only so much. My libido will probably be greatly affected. It will be a while before I'll know if intercourse will be painful or not. The same whether vaginal sex will be pleasurable or not. At least my clit works; I tried it out solo the first night out of the hospital. Is that what you want to know?"

"And how are you handling that?"

"How? How the fuck do you think?" Rose said in a raspy voice that she got when she started to cry, "I hate myself because I did this. Not you, not Dan, not Baxter, me. I made the choice to have sex that night. And on top of all the fucking guilt, I'm positive my husband thinks I'm this big slut now, and never will be able to love me like he used to. Maybe, he's already found someone else he could love. And it gets better. This week, I pressed charges against a man that I thought cared for me because he filmed me without my consent just to make my husband think I'm a slut, which terrifies me because now everyone might find out what I did and what I am. Because what you think about me is true: I was a cheating slut who fucked another man just for some cheap sex. I could have said no at any time. When he had no condom that could've been the deal breaker. I let things continue. When he asked to fuck my ass, I made no attempt to dissuade him. I was exactly what you accused me of being in the park, and I hate myself for it."

"Rose, I need you," Troy said softly.

There was a pause, and he could hear her sobbing, and then blowing her nose. "What?"

"Rose, I need you," Troy repeated, "You said I'm insecure when it comes to you and that's why you quit cheerleading. Sorry, that's bullshit; I was insecure, at least off the football field, and found out if I could make people laugh, they wouldn't notice my hand shaking."

"You're doubting that you're good enough, again," Rose said. "I told you..."

"No," Troy interrupted, "Lisa and Jay talked to me about this, and they were right. They knew me before you. Yeah, I was the class clown, but honestly, I felt like a car salesman having to con my way to get any dates. Then I met you. I didn't want to con you, I wanted to know you, and as I learned how amazing a person you were -- even more amazing than your looks -- I knew I wanted to be a good enough man to win your heart."

"Troy, you were."

"No, I wasn't. I changed. You didn't see it because it happened when I was around you, then it just became who I was. Rose, you didn't make me feel insecure, you made me more confident. The man who could strut in a locker room and stare down an angry linebacker who lost his team the game. The man who's now the chief sports editor of Green Bay's top paper. That confidence came from you, not because of how you look, but because of how you believed that I was that man, and you made me believe it. Maybe it dipped at times when I felt something or someone could take you away, but as long as you're with me, I feel like I can do anything. Even get past a drunken tryst -- by each of us -- and I really want to hear about your modeling career because that was news to me"

He paused and could hear her breathing, but no response.

"Rose?" He heard the phone click.

Troy sighed and grabbed a beer from the fridge. "At least you gave it your best shot," he said to himself before taking a big swallow.

He was sitting on the couch when he heard the front door open and slam shut. Troy got to his feet, and before he knew it, Rose was there embracing and kissing him. He kissed her back, enjoying the feel of her body pressed against his for the first time in a while. Rose brought her hand between them and started caress the front of Troy's jeans, which immediately made him start to stiffen.

"Rose?" Troy said breaking the kiss.

"Please, I want to show physically how much I love you," Rose said kissing his neck. "Let's go to bed, bending over and kneeling hurts. I want to suck you off, please."

Troy didn't argue, moving towards the bedroom as they continued kissing. As they turned a corner, he noticed her wincing in discomfort. Was she like that in the park, and he just didn't notice?

When they got to their bed, Rose slapped the mattress, not removing her lips from his. Troy broke the kiss to climb on the bed and lied down. As Rose gingerly climbed beside him and lied on her side with her head by his hips, Troy fumbled with his jeans, with Rose's helped his growing erection was freed within seconds.

Rose wrapped her hand around it and looked him in the eye. "I kissed Cam, but never did this to him that night. You're the only one I ever want to do this to. I do it because I love you and want you to feel as good as you make me feel. Lie back and just enjoy." Troy reached and touched her long hair, and let out a gasp as she took him fully in her mouth.

Rose had deep throated him before, but it was not something common and usually just a brief mid-blow job treat. The fact she started with him fully in her mouth, and bobbing frantically was a first. She played with his balls with her free hand as she continued. Finally, she pulled up and had a grin as she caught her breath.

"Fuck..." Troy groaned as she gently stroked him.

"I missed this so much, I just wanted to show you," Rose said, "Do you want to come in my mouth? Tell me, babe."

Hearing her call him the same pet name she called Baxter almost spoiled the mood. Troy tried to block it and instead focused on the sight of her stroking him, with her lips right by the tip of his cock. He then looked at her body, just as perfect as before. Her ass looked amazing in those yoga pants, which were close to his chest. Troy reached and started cupping her ass. As Rose continued sucking his cock, he then pulled down on her waist. She nearly bit him.

"Troy, no! We can't." Rose said anxiously.

"I thought you said your clit still works," Troy said with a grin.

"Yes, on the outside, but I'm really dry," Rose protested, but she lifted her hips enough for him to pull down her pants to her mid thigh. She reached and held her long shirt in place, presumable to cover where her surgery was. She wasn't wearing any panties, and he could see a lot of stumble in her groin. "Please be gentle."

As Troy rolled over to lick the top of her pussy, Rose began bobbing quickly on his cock. She moaned against his cock when he started running his tongue along her slit. That was enough for Troy as he emptied his balls into her, while Rose continued bobbing and sucking.

Rose wasn't kidding, she was way drier than she normally would be. Troy spit on her clit, then used his tongue to spread the moisture over her inner lips. Rose had now released his spent cock, and had her hands on his hip as she sighed.

Troy spit a few more times, and noticed he could taste her more as he continued lapping.

"No fingers, just suck my clit," hissed Rose. Troy obeyed, alternating lapping and sucking.

"Fuck, yes... yes..." moaned Rose, "Feels so much better than my finger. Feels so much better than that bastard's cock. Eat me, Troy. Eat me...fuck... I'm coming...fuck..." She bucked and pushed his head away.

"Thanks, I really needed that," Rose said, "But, I think I should go."

Troy noticed Rose wince as she tried to pull up her yoga pants.

"Here," He said as he pulled them up for her. Once up, he lifted her shirt to see the gauze below her navel. He gently lifted the end so he could see the row of stitches, which were scabby with flakes of dried blood. He lightly kissed her there as he pulled her shirt in place.

"Four weeks at least before trying anything inside of there. Even then, it might not work," Rose said sadly, "as much as I hate it, anal penetration might be more comfortable."

"I enjoyed what we just did," Troy said.

"No regrets?" Rose frowned, like she was expecting a negative reaction.

Troy smiled and took her hand. "Doing this? No. Life choices the last month, definitely? I'm not going to lie, it still really bothers me what you did and why it happened. However, I don't want to lose you. I want us to go to counseling and make it work -- not try to work it out. You're too important to me and I know you'll never do anything to hurt me like that again."

"Me too," Rose said, "But, I still can't help but think you could have a regular sex life with that girl and might not get that with me. It's stupid with what I did, but when I learned she was in your hotel room, it hurt as much as when I knew you saw Cameron and me. It must sound silly, but I was angry at myself, not you, for that. I drove you to another woman."

"It's not silly, but I share a bit of the blame for that. I am so sorry it happened and it will never happen again. So, are you coming home so we can make this work?"

"No, I still think I need to go," Rose said, "Sorry, this is a big deal."

"You need time," Troy said disappointed.

"To decide on counseling? No, call Lisa right away," Rose said, "What I mean, is that I need to take things slow to deal with everything. What I did, what you did, and things we've said to each other since it happened. I want to see you, I want to hug and kiss you, but I think I need to work up to sleeping in the same bed with you. Not till I know we're both at that point of forgiving what we both did. I'll stay at my moms and when it feels right, I'll come home."

"And if it doesn't feel right?"

Rose smiled. "I think it will or I never would've come here. What you said to me, I don't buy that I changed you bullshit, but you did remind me of why I need you in my life. I love you too much."

**

Two weeks after Cameron Baxter announced his retirement from football, it was announced that he was facing charges for voyeurism from recording and sharing a video without consent. He pled guilty and his victim was never announced, but she was rumored to be an ex-Packer cheerleader. Rose never spoke to Cameron again since he visited her at the hospital, and filed a restraining order after he attempted to contact her shortly after his retirement announcement. As promised, Troy wrote the farewell article. However, while it might have made Baxter cry, instead of a touching tribute to his legacy it was a reminder of how all the good an athlete does can be wiped out by a few wrong choices.

Troy and Rose started counseling a few days after she agreed to go. They started going on dates once a week at first, then twice a week, and eventually having sleepovers after a month into counseling. After the third sleepover, Rose and Troy felt it was right for her to move back home permanently.

After it came out in counseling, that Rose having meetings and meals with current and perspective clients, was when Troy would most feel anxious about her possibly cheating again, Rose gave her two weeks notice. Troy felt bad, especially after knowing she gave up a potential modeling career for him, and they still needed a double income. However, that was short-lived when both Duncan and Rose surprised him at work to announce the paper hired her as a consultant to work on the transition focusing on electronic publication. It paid less than her previous job, but Troy felt it was a small price to pay for both of them to have relatively normal work hours -- aside from the occasional radio or television appearance he'd do from time to time.

There still was the occasional flare up of jealously or mistrust from either of them due to the infidelity. However, counseling gave them the tools to handle it, so it never lasted more than a few hours or got out of hand. While neither were fully past what happened, Troy was certain it wasn't going to end their marriage.

Besides a slight scar, which Troy insisted was barely visible, Rose didn't have any severe side effects from her surgery. Besides needing to use lubricant every time, she not only had no discomfort during vaginal sex, but still found it quite pleasurable. She also insisted that she felt no loss of her sex-drive, though Troy suspected Rose was still trying to make up for her mistake --especially when she offered him anal sex for the first time. He, however, wasn't complaining as he felt their sex life was good, maybe better than before with both now working more regular hours.

Ten months after Troy had watched the video, he lay beside Rose in bed, truly feeling things couldn't get any better.

The End