Rosie's Ballad

"Aye mate, best get off then. John's not goin' fuckin' nowhere. Look at him. Lightweight... We're doin' this again soon though, yeah? Just text mate, if I'm free I'm always down,"

"I know mate, I'm free for a while, too, so it won't be long,"

"You can let yourself out, yeah? I'm fucked, I'm not standing up," he giggled, the dorky giggle he did when he was stoned. He was a happy inebriate, our Zach, and great company. I didn't want to leave but I knew I had to now otherwise I wouldn't at all, and I didn't want to not leave either.

"Yeah mate, I'll see you both soon. We'll get Billy over next time,"

"Yeah mate, Billy'll want to see ya,"

And with that I left. I walked back up through Zach's house and left. I couldn't lock his door, but it was a pretty safe neighbourhood and locks are for honest people anyway. If someone wanted to rob him, one door lock wasn't gonna stop them. I toddled my way home, thankful that it wasn't too far away. I only checked once I'd got to my own front door if I'd got my phone. I had, but what I didn't have was keys.

I knocked once on the door and it opened immediately.

"Are you drunk?" It was Liv. Her antics with me this morning came back to me, but I wasn't angry for some reason.

"Yeah I am a little bit,"

"You stink, have you been smoking?"

"Yeah, I have," I managed to say after a pause that I didn't intend to leave.

"Come on then, we shouldn't let mum find you like this,"

I let her lead me back to my room, she held my hand the whole way. Her skin was soft, and her hand was warm; I didn't want to let it go. While she was leading me up the stairs I couldn't help but stare at her ass. She'd been right this morning; her butt certainly wasn't small, and it was round and shapely. It bounced ever so slightly as she climbed the top step. When we got to my doorway she opened the door and pulled me in.

"Come on, let's get you sorted," she turned to me, but didn't let go of my hand. I didn't let go either

"You do have a fat ass, Liv," she looked at me. Looking back, I would think she should've gone red at that comment, but she didn't.

I pulled her closer to me and put my free hand on her ass. She should've slapped me. I would've deserved it. She didn't do it. I let her let go of my hand and she slipped her arms around my waist, raising herself onto her tiptoes. I didn't quite believe that she didn't care so I placed my newly free other hand to join the first. Still nothing bad. I slowly lifted her, taking some of her own weight off her feet. I had no idea what I was doing, and I was getting myself into a much harder position to explain away should she choose to pull me up on it.

She leaned up to my face and planted a kiss on the side of my mouth. I could hear her breathing get heavier. Her breath smelled sweet, but it wasn't a scent I could quite place. She pressed her lower half towards me and her crotch into my thigh with the little leverage she had left on the floor. She was warm, it felt hot; a heat that would have been uncomfortable had it been almost anything else touching me. If I could feel that amount of heat through 2 layers of fabric I could only imagine how it would feel directly on my skin.

Why did I think that? Why would I imagine that? Why was I doing any of this? This was my baby sister, I shouldn't be thinking about her pressing her naked body against mine. Apparently the rest of me disagreed with the part of my brain that questioned it, I could feel the beginnings of an erection start to swell. That was my signal to try to pull away. She didn't want to let me go, her grip tightened and didn't loosen even when I pressed back out against her with my hand on her stomach. What the hell was going on? She was on top of me, there was no way she couldn't feel the problem I was having.

Then she leaned up to whisper in my ear "The door's open,"

She let go of me and went to shut it, I also heard a lock clunk but I had no idea when that had gotten there. I stood slightly swaying, still trying to wrap my head around what we'd just been doing, but it was quickly fading from my memory. She turned around and walked back to me.

"Are you gonna let me this time?"

I couldn't respond, I just didn't have it in me. She put her hands on my shoulders and then wrapped them around the back of my neck, she used that to pull herself up and my head down until she could reach my lips with hers again, and when she could she did.

I didn't stop her. Not when we first touched, not when she started to suck my bottom lip into her mouth. She pulled away for a second and looked into my eyes in the dim light.

"Kiss me back so I know you want me," her voice was barely audible but I did hear her, and when she leaned back in I was more than happy to oblige. She kissed so gently, and at a pace that I could keep up with. I kissed her back, I put my hand on her cheek and returned her gestures. I was rock hard and I knew she could feel it, but it didn't seem like either of us cared.

She pulled away again and I could feel disappointment in my head.

"We've still got to get you sorted, I don't wanna smell," she was right. I let her take the lead again. She pushed me backward onto the bed and laid me down, and started unlacing my shoes for me. My head was so full, and I didn't want to give her reason to pause so I stayed quiet.

"Socks on or off?"

"Off." I managed to mumble. I shut my eyes and felt her pulling down my socks.

She pulled me into a sitting position by my shoulders and slid my shirt off me. It didn't feel right, but I couldn't feel it was wrong either, and I was thankful for the breeze on my back after the heat of the day.

Then she unbuckled my belt. I almost stopped her, I almost put a hand on hers to prevent her from moving it any more. Almost. My belt clasp came undone, she unzipped my fly, and put her hands on my hip bones inside the waist of my jeans. She stayed like that for a second, I relished the feeling of the warmth of her hands in a place she'd never touched me before.

"Up," her voice was barely a whisper to me.

I raised myself slightly, and she quickly slid my jeans out from under me and began pulling them off my legs.

"There. Now you don't smell so much," for a second I truly believed that she could have left it at that.

"This isn't fair." The glow from the lamp on the bedside table lit her face up now that she wasn't knelt in my shadow, and I could see that she had a small but genuine smile on her face. She looked so sweet, then.

I watched her stand up slowly, I had no idea what she was going to do, or what she'd meant by 'fair', but I was struggling to concentrate on more than one thing at once, and I was preoccupied with the way she looked.

She was wearing a slightly tighter shirt than she had the night before, and just as soon as I'd noticed that she'd set to taking it off. It was thrilling to look at, she crossed her arms, grabbed the hem of her shirt and pulled it up, unwrapping herself like a present. It was so fluid and gorgeous, I was in the purest form of awe I'd ever felt, no thoughts came to my mind, just feelings, and I felt nothing but amazement.

It was only when her shirt hit the ground that I even realised that that had been the only barrier between my skin and hers, at least on her top half. I hadn't seen her without a shirt on since she was like 7, but I absolutely appreciated seeing her now that her body had changed. Her boobs weren't huge, but they weren't small either; they were definitely prominent, but not nearly big enough to cause back problems.

God she looked good.

"There. We're even."

In truth her words hadn't registered with me, and they wouldn't until the next day.

She sauntered back over to where I was sitting on the bed leaning back on my hands, and straddled me, taking my face in her hands and pressing her lips back against mine. Kissing her felt like what I'd always needed, but never knew about. She licked at my bottom lip, asking me to let her in, and I did. I tasted chocolate on her tongue, and in my limited range of focus I enjoyed that taste all I could. I could barely concentrate on the sensation of her hips gyrating, pressing the most sensitive parts of both of us together; if I had been sober the feeling of the fabrics rubbing together would have infuriated me, but right then it was at the back of my mind. I felt the heat she emanated from her skin onto mine, the most intense still coming from between her legs. I could feel her nipples rubbing and pressing against my own chest; they were an incomprehensible mix of hard and soft that my focus switched to, almost forgetting to kiss her back until she took it elsewhere once again.

I felt her hands leave my face, but didn't feel them put anywhere else on me. I felt her lift her hips away from mine, and my body became disappointingly cold. I couldn't open my eyes, but I could feel her shifting around from the movement of the bed and her occasional contact with my skin. Her lips never left mine fully the whole time she did whatever she was doing, and that was almost enough for me. Before I knew what I was doing my hands went to either side of her waist, not that I would've stopped them even if I'd known. Soon enough she stopped wriggling and pushed herself back onto me, her hands supporting her on my shoulder and my side. I could feel her more; that warmth was more intense, she felt more free to move around against my cock, and I could feel wet that I couldn't before.

"Tommy," she almost moaned, but it came out stifled and breathy rather than pleasurable.

"Mm?" I mumbled against her lips.

"I'm naked," she paused as though she expected an intelligible response, "It's not fair anymore, Tommy," she moaned softly, so close to my face that I could feel the vibrations on my lips. "We have to fix that."

She stopped kissing me and slipped away, my mind was full again from missing the feeling of her body against mine.

She put her fingers into my waistband. I wasn't fighting her this time, I wanted whatever she was going to do to me.

"Tell me you want me," she sounded like she was begging, her voice was laced with desire, but also a sadness that sounded like it stung to get out. "Please."

"I want you," I did. All thoughts of Hannah had long since ceased; the woman I'd spent 6 years of my life loving and knowing and trusting wasn't even an afterthought when I was betraying everything I'd built with her. It wasn't a betrayal I even recognised I was committing, my mind was too full of Liv.

She was pulling my boxers down off me, and I lifted myself up again slightly to help in her effort. Once they were off the difficult part of me she almost tore them away from the rest of my legs with a primal hunger that made me want her more. I was no longer fit to question the urges I was feeling, she had pushed me well past that.

Her hand went straight to the prize she'd revealed for herself, I was rock hard. "We've got to fix this too. Can't leave you like that, you'll make a mess," she said from between my legs, her tone was so sexual and filled with an abstract heat that I couldn't even recognise the attempt at dirty talking she'd made.

Suddenly I felt an intense heat and moisture envelop the tip of my cock, and it took me longer than it should have to put together that her mouth was on me. I ran my hand through her hair and took some of it in a fist that kept itself against her head, but I let her do whatever she was going to do; I wasn't about to interfere. She kept going, never getting too far down but her hand took care of that for her as she concentrated her mouth on my head. I was in absolute ecstasy; every time her tongue ran over my very tip a jolt of pleasure was sent through my entire body, a feeling I could not have been more aware of. That combined with the constant rhythm she was working on my shaft was going to make me cum, sooner rather than later. It wasn't something I could piece together in my head at the time until after I'd already emptied my balls into her mouth. She must have swallowed, because she didn't stop at least until I'd already passed out afterwards.

I woke up the next morning in a very similar position to the morning before, so much so that I almost thought I'd dreamt that whole day until I realised that Liv wasn't wearing anything at all this time, and neither was I. My head being as clear as it was that morning, I was disgusted with myself. I couldn't believe I'd cheated on my girlfriend with my fucking sister. Yes, I'd been obscenely drunk, but that doesn't excuse it; and it certainly didn't exalt me of the guilt of very much wanting to do it almost the whole time. I didn't know what to do with myself. I wanted to get up, to run away again, but another part of me wanted to stay there with Liv forever. That was a part of me I was beginning to hate.

If I leaned, I could see the clothes I'd worn and the pyjamas she'd barely worn strewn out across the floor. I felt sick to my stomach. There were very good reasons why it was taboo to let your sister suck your dick, and they didn't let themselves leave my mind. Despite the turmoil my brain was in, the chunk of me that still wanted her was loud and clear.

"You awake?"

"Yeah." I didn't know she had been, though.

"I've been awake for a long time,"

"Liv, last night-"

"Please. Don't say anything." Her voice shook, I could hear fear in the way she spoke.

"Last night. It was nice," her body tensed and her breathing stopped. "But it can't happen again,"

There was a long pause from both of us, and I heard her begin to cry quietly, so quietly that I truly believed she didn't intend me to hear. We lay there for some time, I stroked her hair and held her by the shoulder I could get to. Her breathing began to return to normal.

"Why not?"

"Because, Liv."

"We don't have to tell anyone. It can be a secret, you can stay with Hannah and you can love me in private. I don't want to share you, but if it'll make you stay I'll do anything. Please." she sounded frantic and so, so sad. It hurt me to say no to her.

"Liv, we can't. It's not right,"

"But you want me, I know you do. If you didn't you would've refused."

"I was drunk,"

"Drunk people can say no, I do."

"It's wrong,"

"Please Tommy. Please let me stay with you." her words were strained, she paused to catch her breath. "I fucking love you, and not just as family I mean I'm really, really in love with you." That was quite the declaration. This wasn't new, it couldn't have been. This started before I'd left, I wondered how long she'd had these feelings.

"Keep your voice down, Liv,"

"Please," she begged, and she was quiet just like I'd asked her to be. It hurt my heart too much to refuse her again.

"Can we talk about this later?"

"No. If you're going to say no I want you to say it now, I don't want to keep living like this, hoping you'll realise that you love me. Break my heart, tell me you hate me, tell me you want to fuck my brains into the ground and that's all I'll ever be good for to you. Anything. I just want something, and I want it from you not what you think the people around you would think you should do, I want you to look at me in my eyes and tell me you don't want me if that's really what you feel... Please," I couldn't say no, even though I absolutely knew I should. This could only end in hurt, and for more than just the two of us.

"Look at me then,"

She sat up and turned around. She had an ugly cry, but I still thought she was gorgeous. Her eyes finally met mine.

"Liv. I love Hannah. I do," she looked away so fast I could feel the pain it had brought her. "I love Hannah, but I love you, too. I don't want this to end in hurt for you, but I just can't bring myself to say no to you."

She turned to look at me again. "Do you mean that?"

"Yeah, I do,"

"You're not fucking with me? You love me?"

"I've always loved you, but last night and just now have changed where that love comes from, I think," I saw her eyes getting wet again. "C'mon, don't get soppy on me now,"

"I'm sorry; it's pathetic, I know, but I've wanted to hear that from you for as long as I can remember knowing you," she sniffed, she was trying not to cry, but she was happy. That mattered to me so much. My sister was happy because I loved her in a way we both knew I shouldn't.

"So where do we go from here? Are you gonna keep seeing Hannah?"

"That's a decision I have to make now, isn't it? I really like Hannah, and I'm a piece of shit for doing this to her. It feels like I'm throwing away everything we've been building for the last 6 years."

"I'll share, if you feel that bad. She doesn't have to know, you can have us both,"

"It's not just about how she feels. If she doesn't know, I'll feel fucking awful about this whole predicament, but if I do tell her then she's not going to stick around for long. How would I even approach that? 'Hey, I cheated on you with my sister but she says it's cool and she wants me and you to still be in love'? Wouldn't fly,"

"I guess not. Then you have to choose between us eventually, I suppose." She sounded hesitant. Rightfully, she was still scared that I might not choose her; in truth I still might not, but I have no idea how you tell someone that without hurting them. I imagine that you don't and you just keep it to yourself, so I did.

"I suppose so,"

"Can we stop talking?"

"Yes."

I don't know if she fell back asleep after that, I know I didn't. I lay there with her, just holding her. Her skin was warm, and soft, and so perfect in every moment and in every way every time It came to my attention.

I was lost in thought again until she stood up. I wished that didn't happen so much. I caught eyes full of her incredible body, the way she curved so smoothly, her pale skin in the sun, the way she stood, the way she walked. She'd gotten off the wrong side for the activity she was going for, and had to walk all the way around the bed to pick up the pyjamas she hadn't really worn yesterday. She slid her top over her head.

"I'm gonna go take a shower. In my room. I'll be back, don't lock me out alright?"

She put her underwear from last night back on.

"Alright,"

A shower. That was a good idea. I probably still stunk from the previous day, I thought, and I hadn't had a shower in almost 2 and a half days now. Suddenly I felt physically gross. I stood up myself, and put my clothes from yesterday in the wash bin. It felt good to be able to be naked in my own room for any length of time again.

Enough basking. Shower.

I walked into my bathroom and locked the door behind me. I was thankful my room door had a separate lock and Liv hadn't just moved the lock from here to there. I'd have to ask why that decision was allowed later. I turned on the water and waited for a minute for the water to heat up. I'd forgotten my phone, oh well.

I showered in peace, for longer than it took to actually wash myself. Much longer. Still, though, I was clean when I got out so I couldn't really fault myself too much. I dried as much of myself as would dry before I wrapped the towel around my lower half and went back into the bedroom.

I'd been longer than I thought, Liv was already there. She had a towel wrapped around her body and was patting her hair dry with another.

"You're gonna get the bed damp doing that,"

"Chill, I'm dry,"

"Your towel's not, though,"

"I'll take it off then,"

She stood up, unfolded the part of the towel that held it together, and it dropped to the ground.

"Your showmanship doesn't impress me,"

"Yeah, but the show does, doesn't it?" She did have a great body, I couldn't stop thinking that. And she was proud of it, too, that was another thing that had changed while I'd been away. Liv was no longer a shy little dweeb, she was a confident, gorgeous woman. A woman I was sure I could love.