Rough Draft: Twisted Ink

"Whatever," she scoffed and walked away.

"You and me. Outside. Now." I snapped at Ben. We walked out of the waiting room and I turned on him. He was looking at me cautiously. "What the hell was that about?" I asked and motioned to the building.

He let out a heavy sigh and shook his head. "I met my son today, Jen. He's...he's fucking perfect. It scares the shit out of me," he said and crossed his arms. "Lana. God, she's got this fucking delusion that we need to be a 'family'," he said complete with air quotes. "She kissed me, angel. But that's it, 'she' kissed 'me'. And because I have the worst fucking luck, ever, Anya walked in and saw it," he sighed and shrugged. "Jen, angel, I met my 'son' today and it was the most wonderful experience of my life, but it was incomplete. It was incomplete, because you weren't there. I want you to come meet my son, sweetheart," he said so tenderly and tucked my hair behind my ear.

God'damn' I loved this man. I believed him about Lana. Of course I did; I'd seen her brand of crazy. I raised on my toes and linked my arms around his neck. He met me halfway and kissed me softly. "Yes, Ben Allen, I'll meet your son," I cooed. He smiled broadly and kissed me again. He took my hand and led me to Zach's room. I took a deep breath as he opened the door.

"Come on," he said with the biggest smile. He pulled me in and led me to the bed. Ben stood behind me with his arms wrapped around my waist.

There on the bed sat a chubby mini-Ben. A nurse was playing peek-a-boo with him and his little baby giggles were infectious. I looked up at Ben and beamed. Ben looked at me then back to his son.

"Ben," I whispered, turning back to Zach and the nurse, "he's perfect."

"Yeah," Ben said kissing my hair and still looking at his son.

"Can I talk to him," I whispered, again.

"Of course, baby," he answered, releasing me. "He's so smart, he knows 'ear' and 'nose' and 'eye'," Ben beamed as I walked to the bed.

"Hey there, little man," I said quietly. Now. Understand I had never been around kids for an extended amount of time. Even when I was a kid. So my approaching Zach, was much like one would approach an unknown dog. Yes, I even held my hand out, palm up, like he may smell it. Instead, he gave me five and gave me a baby laugh.

"Hi-pi," he screeched and hit my palm again. Then he clapped. I clapped with him and cheered.

"Yay!" I cooed at him. "High five," I said. He slapped my hand again and I clapped. "Yay! Zach!" He clapped and mumbled, then raspberried. I let out a giggle.

"Hi-pi, hi-pi," Zach chanted. Ben came up behind me and held his palm out. Zach slapped it and again. This time he cheered for himself. "Bay! Bay, ackwee!"

"Yay, Zachary!" Ben and I cheered in unison.

"Mamamamama," Zach babbled, reaching toward the door.

"What the fuck are you doing in here?" A voice hissed from behind us. I gasped and froze. Really, lady? In front of your kid?

"'I' asked her to come in," Ben said. I was still looking wide eyed at Zach, who had the cutest bemused expression on his face.

"Get away from my son," Lana hissed. I stood and looked at Ben. He pulled me to him and shook his head.

"'Our' son, Lana. And she stays," he clipped.

Lana turned to the nurse in the room, "Call security. She has no authorization to be here."

"No need," I said sweetly to the nurse. "I'm leaving." The nurse looked at me apologetically and nodded. I turned to Ben. "It's fine. I'll see you later?" His nostrils flared, but he gave a single nod. "Yours or mine?"

"Yours," he said and gave a small smile that didn't reach his eyes. He leaned in for a chaste kiss, but since the bitch was kicking me out, I was at least gonna rub it in. I deepened the kiss, pulled him to me and ran my tongue along the roof of his mouth. He crushed me closer. I let the kiss go just long enough to hear him moan, then I lightened it and pulled my lips away.

"Love you," I whispered to him.

"Love you. Maybe next time you could pee on me, yeah?" He whisper laughed.

"That wouldn't be as fun," I smirked. He gave me another small peck. Then we both rolled our eyes when Lana scoffed. I gave her a sugary sweet smile, waggled my fingers in a wave, and sashayed out. What? Bitch was on my nerve!

Ben 6

I was closing up the shop when my phone rang.

"Hey, man. Sup?" I answered.

"Dude, um, you should get home asap. Jen just showed up mad as a wet cat," Raine said. Great. Just what I needed. It'd been two weeks since the ER visit, and once again life just kept throwing fucking kinks into shit. Lana had now refused to let me see Zach until we went to court. Jen blamed herself and said we should take a break until it got worked out. That, of course, wasn't an option for me. Major fight ensued.

Dyer hired a PI and was supposed to meet about the findings in two days, then I had to meet with him the next day. Jack broke his thumb and forefinger. Get this, he broke them fishing. This is funny for several reasons, not least of all Jack went fishing, and broke his fingers doing so.

Unfortunately we were understaffed again. So ultimately Jen got her way. I hadn't seen her in five days. Jack said I should just move in with her, then it's not a problem. I flipped him off with both hands and found it hysterical when he couldn't do the same.

Which lead to this phone call. I have an angry Jen at my house. This could be fun and end in angry Jen sex, or it could be bad and end with my balls on the injured list. Must tread carefully.

"Do you know why she's pissed?" I fished.

"Hold on," Raine said. "Yo, Jen! Why're you pissed?" He yelled. Smooth, asshole. "She said for me to 'mind my own fucking business'," he answered and chuckled.

"Shit," I muttered. "I'm locking up. Be there in thirty."

"Dude. Hurry, I'm kinda afraid she's gonna inflict bodily harm. And that could be hot, but, ya know...she's yours and all," he cackled.

"Fuck you, asshole. I'm afraid for my balls," I laughed back and hung up. Fuck.

I finished closing up and actually drove the speed limit home. I wanted to see my girl, but shit, I wanted to see her and have wild monkey sex, not have her yell at me.

I pulled the bike into the drive and before I could turn the ignition off, Jen came storming out. She was so fucking adorable, all scowling and stomping. I'd missed her, so I couldn't help my grin.

"Hey, baby," I said to her.

"Oh, hell no, Benjamin Allen!" She warned. So she 'was' mad at me. My mind replayed our phone calls and texts today. Nothing awry there.

"I got served today," she spat. "That fucking bitch you were married to took out a restraining order against me. I can't come near her. Not that I'd fucking want to," she yelled. Then her face fell and she teared up, "I can't go near Zach, either," she said thickly. Oh, what the fuck? I couldn't take this shit anymore.

"GODDAMMIT!" I screamed. Jen jumped back. "Mother'fucker'." Raine and Deak ran out behind Jen.

"Everything ok?" Raine looked from Jen to me.

"No. Everything is fucked up!" I yelled and paced. "Goddammit!" I yelled, again, and punched the garage door. Smart. I know. The last thing I needed was a busted hand. Should've given it a left hook. Jen gasped and ran to me, deftly avoiding Deak trying to hold her back.

"Jen, don't," he called. I was grateful he was trying to keep my girl safe, but I was offended he thought I'd ever hurt her. She grabbed the hand I'd used to dent the garage and gently touched my bloody knuckles. I hissed in a breath.

"Come on, sweetheart. Lets get you cleaned up," she said soothingly. Have I said how much I loved my girl?

She led me to the kitchen and sat me down. A few minutes later a damp washcloth and a bag of ice were plopped in front of me. She gently cleaned my knuckles and then pressed the ice over them.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled sheepishly.

"Ben, I really think we should take some time apart. Just until this custody thing is over. It's not what I want," she let out a sigh, "but things just keep getting worse," she finished on a whisper.

"No," I said quickly and panicked. "Babe, I'm sorry I lost my temper. I don't wanna take a break. People take breaks, then move on and break-up. I don't want to lose you, baby," my voice cracked like a fucking pubescent teenager.

"Ben," she sighed and shook her head. "How are we supposed to be together when I can't come near your son?" Her brow furrowed and her eyes went to the ice on my knuckles.

"We can fight that, angel," I said softly.

"Then what happens? We fight the RO, then she gets me fired again? Sends me to jail for some made up bullshit? What? Where does it stop? It's killing you, I see it in your face. You're exhausted, Ben. I'm exhausted," she said forcefully.

"No! I waited too fucking long to have you for you to give up on me, Jennifer. I can't lose you. I know it's not fair to ask you," I said hoarsely. "I know that," I whispered. "Fuck, we were doomed from the start weren't we?" Then I, Ben Allen, badass tattoo artist, cried.

Jen pressed her forehead to mine and drew in a shuddering breath.

"I love you, Ben Allen. You're the only man other than my daddy that's held that title," she cried softly. "When this storm passes, baby. I'll be on the other side. In some way or another."

"Please one more, night?" I begged quietly. "Don't leave me yet. Please."

"I have to. If I don't now," she let out a shaky exhale, "it'll just be harder."

I closed my eyes and breathed her in. I would find my way back to her. She pulled her head away and kissed my lips softly. Then she was gone. I got up, made it to the living room and saw my roommates. Raine walked to me and put his hand on my shoulder. My knees buckled and I went down and wept, for the first time in twenty five years, I actually, loudly wept.

"Ben, nice to see you," Colt greeted me. I just nodded. I hadn't been much for speech since Jen left. Really speech, food, showers, shaving, getting out of bed, working. This was my first venture into the world in three days. I'd at least put on real clothes.

"You ok?" Colt asked cautiously. I started with a nod and then frowned and shook my head. "Did something happen?"

"It's personal. I'll be fine," I rasped.

"Ben, I know I'm your attorney. But, man to man, you look rough. You sure you don't need to talk about it?" He asked and, for an attorney, seemed genuinely concerned.

"Jen and I are taking a break because of this Lana bullshit," I told him.

He nodded. "That explains it."

"Explains what?" I asked. The reason I look like I joined a commune, I mused internally.

"Lana's attorney sent me something today. I haven't opened it, but he said it was from Jen. Said she dropped it at his office, and asked that he give it to Lana," Colt explained.

"What is it?"

"I don't know. I shouldn't, but what the hell, your ex is a bitch. Do you want to see it?" He asked. I nodded. He handed me a blank envelope. I opened it and pulled out a photocopy of a letter. It was in Jen's writing and was addressed to Lana.

'Lana,

I'm writing this, hoping you'll do the right thing with this information. You've won. I've let Ben go. Please understand, it's not for you. It's for Ben and Zach. They deserve to know each other. Ben is a good man and will be a great father. Please, stop keeping him from his son. It's not fair to punish them because of your disdain for me. I hope someday you can find it in you to be a decent human being and let go of your misery. If you can't, stop projecting it on your son and his father. I truly hope you find what you're looking for, Lana.

Jennifer Devereaux'

My hand fisted around the paper. And I sucked in air, which there seemed to be so little of.

"Ben? Lana pressed charges for violation of the RO. Jen's got a warrant for her arrest on the books," Colt said softly. I closed my eyes. She was trying to help me and it blew up in her face. I felt like my skin was too tight. God, fucking pain. Pain like I've never experienced before. More pain than when Lana told me she was leaving me. More pain than when I saw Anya's bloody, lifeless body in that cabin. It was eating me up from the inside until there was nothing left but the shell of a man.

"If they arrest her, bail her out, ok? I'll pay it, but...just don't let my girl sit there, yeah?" I choked on the last part. Colt nodded. "Did the PI find anything?" I asked.

"Funny you should ask. You'll be interested to know, that Mrs. Allen."

"Bender," I said.

"What?" Colt asked.

"Ms. Bender. Allen is my name and I don't want to hear it associated with her anymore," I said flatly.

"Um, ok. Ms. Bender, has not informed Lucas Grayson that he is not Zach's father. Also Ms. Bender has been undergoing treatment for manic depression for the last thirteen months and has suddenly, stopped," he said magnanimously.

"Ok? Anything helpful?" I asked impatiently.

"Well I think a manic personality off of their meds is very helpful," he said pointedly. "But yeah, there's a lot more. Drug usage in the last week. Cocaine and marijuana," he pulled out three black and whites of Lana meeting some guy, handing him something and apparently snorting coke in her car. "What you don't see is your son in the back," Colt said helpfully. He pulled out another set of pictures. These of men, all different, leaving Lana's house. I looked up and gave Colt a maniacal grin. He matched it. "I think it's time to reevaluate your view on seeking sole custody," Colt said with a wicked gleam.

"I do believe you're right, Mr. Dyer," I agreed. Got ya, bitch.

"Um, Jen? The police are here looking for you," Anya said from my bedroom doorjamb. I bolted upright. My God, my father. I ran into the living room.

Two uniformed police officers stood in the room. "Jennifer Devereaux," the lady officer asked. I nodded quickly. She stepped toward me. "You are under arrest for violation of a restraining order.You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided to you by the state. Do you understand these rights as they have been given to you?" What? I looked at Anya who was crying hysterically on her phone. I looked at the officer for explanation, but she just asked again, "do you understand these rights, Ms. Devereaux?" Rights? What was going on? Didn't they have to present a warrant? Damn. I wished I'd paid more attention in government class. "Ms. DEVEREAUX! Do you understand these rights?"

Rights? Oh yeah. "Yes," I whispered. I was hauled out in my flannel pink PJs to the police car. Talk about a classy broad.

"Ms. Devereaux, your being held on a thousand dollars bond for breaking the guidelines set in a legal restraining order filed against you by Lana Allen. You broke said guidelines when you sent her a letter addressed to her persons. Do you understand the charge as it has been made against you?" A court official said to me during my processing. Apparently these people really want you to understand. I nodded. "I'm sorry, darlin'. I gotta hear the words," the official said nicely.

"Yes, I understand."

"Court date set for October twentieth this year," the official banged a gavel.

The bailiff shouted, "Docket number..."

I was led out into a hall. "Ok, baby," the nice lady guard said to me, "this is a holding cell. We'll get you your phone call in a few minutes. Anybody bothers you, baby. You just yell, ok?" I nodded, holding back tears. "Don't worry, baby. They'll be here to get you out soon." Movies are such liars. Prison guards aren't so bad. What was bad was that they took my socks and gave me weird, papery blue booties. I thought people wore orange jumpsuits in jail? My brain refused to accept the seriousness of my situation. I kept myself sane by noticing little things like the booties and clothes. So there I sat in a cell with six other women, in my pink flannel pajamas and blue booties.

"Hey, doll. What you in for?" A big, beat up woman said.

"Murder," I replied. She let out a howl and turned to me.

"Really? Who'd you kill?" She asked incredulously. I stared at the floor. "Don't be scared, doll. We're all here for dumb shit. I'm Carla. DUI," she said and shook my hand.

"Jen. Jealous ex wife," I said.

"Ooh. Girl. Been through that a time or two," she mused. "Did you really kill her?" She laughed.

I shook my head, "RO violation. I sent her a letter letting her know I was gone and she could let her son see his father."

"Uh oh," she tsked.

"Yep," I nodded sagely. "You know the bad part, Carla?"

"What's that?"

"'She' had 'me' fired, followed. Broke into his house. She let him think the baby was someone else's for a year! But still, I'm the one sitting in the fucking drunk tank. No offense," I blurted.

Carla laughed, "None taken. You love your man, baby girl?" I nodded without hesitation. "Then fuck her. I've been through a lotta shit in this life, baby girl. A lot. But one thing I've learned? Miserable people, they gonna stay miserable. You gotta find your happy and leave them to themselves. You walked away, she ain't happy. And now you are probably miserable right there with her," she said. "Am I wrong."

"No," I frowned. "I'm pretty damn miserable."

"Well then, there you go. You ain't mean to the kid, right?" I shook my head. "You ain't on drugs or sellin' pussy, right?" I laughed and shook my head again. "So then fight this bullshit RO and stand by your man. Two is always stronger than one, baby girl. Always. If I know a thing or two about a thing or two, and I do, your man is pretty fucking miserable, too. He needs you now, baby girl. Neither of y'all should have to weather this shit alone, ya feel me?"

"I feel ya, Carla. Boy, do I fucking feel ya," I said and smiled at her.

"There ya go, baby girl. You do right by him no matter what. Now what you gonna do?" She asked.

"Well, right now I'm gonna sit here with my thumb up my ass, unless you've got a jailbreak plan?" I smirked.

Carla blasted out a laugh. "I like you, baby girl. You got sass. Use that on that bitchy ex and she won't know what hit her!"

I sat and talked to Carla for another two hours. She was good people, just made some mistakes. She had three kids, all grown, and two ex husbands. She worked at a dry cleaners close to my house. I promised to come by when we got out. They Still hadn't given me my phone call.

"Devereaux! Lets go! You've been sprung." A guard came and unlocked the cage.

"I haven't called anyone," I said looking at Carla. Anya. Duh. She was there when they brought me in. "It's my friend she saw the whole fiasco," I explained. "Thank you. For everything," I said genuinely and hugged her.

"Any time, baby girl," she said and waved.

I walked out into a bright white room and looked at the high desk. Colt! "What are you...how did you know?"

"Ben. His friend Jack called him, he called me. Here I am," he said and smiled. Ben. Ben sent Colt to take care of me. I blinked back tears. "They treat you ok?"

"Yes, actually everyone was very nice," I said. The guard who led me through processing smiled.

"You're a sweet girl, sometimes this system is bullshit. But you didn't hear that from me," she said and winked.

When we got in Colt's car, I finally built up the nerve to ask him, "How is he?"

He shook his head, "Pretty low, Jen. He looked bad when I saw him last Friday." That had been five days ago. Poor Ben.

"How are things going with Lana and visitation?"

"That's privileged, Jen," Colt frowned.

"Oh. Right. I'm sorry," I said. "I'm just...I'm worried about him, Colt."

"Then go see him," he offered.

"I don't want to do anything to put him at risk of not seeing his son," I said.

"Jen. Just going by to let him know you're safe isn't going to hurt anything."