Run Away Pt. 01

Fortunately there was no alcohol available. The agency Doctor did offer me a sedative but I had enough presence of mind to refuse.

Before we left for the airfield, James took me in hand and forced me to have a shower, shave and change my clothes. It had been decided that James should travel home with me as the agency had become concerned with my psychological wellbeing.

I spoke little to him on the plane, trying to sort my thoughts, my emotions in to some semblance of order.

The pain was so raw.

An agency car collected us from the airport; James tried to calm me on route to my home.

My family was waiting for me when James left me at the front door of our apartment.

Karen rushed towards me her arms open wide, only for me to side step her and embrace my daughters

"Daddy, we've missed you!" as I hugged them dropping my bags to do so.

"I've missed you too, my darlings", I buried my face in their necks holding them tightly, inhaling their scent never wanting to let go.

But!

Letting them free I stood and turned to face my wife, I couldn't believe how angry and hurt I was just by looking at her.

She looked as beautiful as the day I'd left but now all I could only see her was her betrayal.

Again she went to hug me, wrap me in her arms, tears in her eyes, but I stepped back. Keeping her at arms length.

Confused she stood for a moment longer with her arms out stretched to me, "Honey?"

"Karen!" the anger, the hurt, surged up inside me.

"I know about Clay! How could you!"

Conflicting emotions spread across her face. Confusion, panic, Shock, Horror, fear! Her mouth opened and closed but no words came out.

I watched her struggle to breathe, to speak, the girls looking from one to the other confused, not understanding what was happening between their normally loving parents.

Pain thudding in my chest, Fire in my lungs.

Karen collapsed onto the floor, her legs unable to hold her. Crying. Sobbing great lungful sobs

"I. I'm so sorry," She sobbed finally. " I never meant to..." Her daughters ran over to her hugging her looking accusingly up at me their father.

"We thought you were dead"! my wife wailed." I was so frightened"

"Bull shit, Karen!" I wouldn't normally have sworn in front of the kids but anger had me firmly in its grip and wasn't letting go

"I was out of contact for a couple of weeks, and you pull someone into our bed while it's still warm."

Karen cried harder, a part of me wanted to hold her and console her, tell her that it was going to be alright.

But pain and rage had me fully in their power.

"I'm sorry..." she managed. Gasping for air. She pulled herself into a chair, Becky climbed into her lap, Megan hugged her legs

Sobbing she told me that it didn't mean anything.

She'd been lost and afraid that I was dead; He'd comforted her and the children.

It was only sex, she loved me, and she assured me she was sorry. She'd spend the rest of her life making it up to me.

She couldn't see why I was so angry.

It was a mistake.

She'd just made a stupid mistake.

Then my parents turned up to celebrate my return, and they unbelievably sided with my wife.

It turned out that my loving wife had confessed to my beloved mother, who'd advised her not to tell me as it would only hurt me.

My own mother! Hurt me!

My father silently complicit stared at the floor.

I couldn't take it anymore. I wanted to scream and shout. I wanted to hit something, someone.

I had to get out, "Come on Kids, we're going" I held my hands out to them,

Megan the elder shook her head, "No! We're staying with Mummy"

Becky screamed at me "she's said she's sorry Daddy why are you doing this?"

I couldn't take it, I had to go or risk losing it all, sweeping my bag up I strode out of the apartment and I ran as far away as I could go.

---------------------------------------

That was the last time I saw my family, almost six years ago. Megan was now a Nineteen year old young lady.

The last time I'd heard from her was her yelling at me in a voice mail that I had to forgive her mother for her mistake, why was I being such an arsehole?

That was a month after I left. I'd been torturing myself listening to their messages.

Afterwards I'd turned the phone off and hid it away in a metal tool box after that.

Left it there.

Yet here she was, looking so much like her mother it hurt.

So very out of place in a biker bar.

Jorge a member of the Toledo MC sauntered up to her

"Hey Darling! I'll be your Daddy"

As Megan tried to move away from him he grabbed her arm tightly around the bicep,

"Where'd you think you're going"?

I was up off my stool, before I'd even realized I'd moved,

"Get away from my daughter" confronting him. Getting between him and Megan.

Unaware that my friend Malc had moved up to support my back and that Elroy was moving in from the other side of the bar.

Jorge was drunk but not stupid, "Sorry Dude," and lifted his hands up in surrender,

"Didn't know she was your kin bro".

Megan gapped at me, "Daddy?"

Blocking her attempt to hug me," Outside. Now!" as I pushed her through the doors turned to my friends.

"Thanks Guys", I bumped fists with Malc and Elroy.

"We've got your back bro," Elroy grinned at me, "Go talk with your daughter!"

Outside Megan leapt at me again. This time wrapping her arms around my neck, surprisingly strong for a young woman.

"Dad, I'm so sorry, Dad, I love you and I'm so sorry "She babbled, "Don't leave me, I'm so sorry"

For a full long second I resisted her but almost of her own accord my arms swept up and returned her embrace.

Feeling her tears on my chest through my t-shirt.

For a long moment I was content to stand there like that. She was my little girl again and that I'd missed her so much.

Listening to her babble.

Wanting to tell her, "its okay"

But!

Finally I peeled her arms from me and set her down on the side walk. "Megan, why are you here?" one arm across her shoulders, she sobbed louder.

"Does your mother know where you are?" I asked dreading the answer I really didn't want to move again.

"No, Daddy", she sniffed and I gave her my handkerchief.

"I came on my own", she blew her nose, and I indicated that she should keep the hanky; she turned and buried her face in my chest.

My Trailer was parked toward the rear of the park, I couldn't see Megan's face as we pulled in but I guessed she was surprised at the double wide, with an awning for the bikes.

I parked my bike next to Sioux's Triumph, meaning she was home, I prayed silently that wasn't going to be a problem.

Opening the door, I waved Megan in.

I waved at the couch "Sit", and watched in some amusement at her dainty perch on the worn upholstery as she looked around wide eyed at the faded interior. Probably I guessed trying to fit the image of her father with the surroundings

"Do you want something to drink?"

"Water please", I pulled a bottle out of the cooler and handed it to her, opening a beer for myself

She eyed it uncertainly as I sat on the recliner across from her and as I took a mouthful suddenly I became very aware of myself and how I looked now.

"Megan," I asked her again" Why are you here?" setting the can on the table between us

She started to cry again, I hurried over and sat next to her on the sofa and she sort of threw herself around me.

"I'm sorry Daddy but Becky's sick", she cried, "Really sick Leukemia! The Doctors said she's only got about six months left to... she's going to..."she couldn't say it. Her face crumpled as the tears returned. I waited as she gathered herself and continued her story.

Becky was diagnosed last year, and hasn't responded well to all the different treatments. Then they were told by a specialist that her mother had got in contact with, that there was a good possibility that a bone marrow transplant from a suitable donor might work." She told me.

"Me, Mum, granddad and grandma got tested but none of us were good matches, then they checked with the donor register and there was no one there, then the Specialist asked about you and said that you were probably Becky's best chance."

On hearing this Megan had left them at the hospital and gone to see her only hope.

Uncle James, He'd always deigned knowing where I'd gone but after hearing about Becky, he finally admitted to Megan that I might still be where he'd last had word.

"So I raided my savings and flew out here on the first available flight without telling anyone where I was going or who I was going to see," she told me.

"I managed to catch a bus from the airport and started asking around for the bike shop,"

That she'd taken such a risk leaving without telling her mother or anyone else for that matter shocked me

She had come all this way with only her passport and a small bag that she'd left in a bus station locker.

When I questioned her why she'd taken such a risk for her sister, she told me that it wasn't just that. Between sobs, she admitted that she'd always felt guilty about what she'd said to me that day, and after in the messages she'd left on my phone.

"You'd better call your mother," I told her distracted by what she'd told me" She'll be worried about you".

Megan wiped her face, rubbed her eyes and pulled her phone out of a pocket, opening it, she asked "Can I tell her I've found you?"

My face must have given away some of what I thought about that. "Dad?"

"Yes", I answered finally, "But not where we are, just that you're with me and safe,"

"Mum, yes it's me.....No I'm safe......No.....Mum....No....Mum I've found Dad, I'm with him now....." She held the phone away from her face and I could hear sobbing and incoherent words over the speaker, "Mum it's alright....I've told him about Becky....No Mum....No....I don't think", her eyes asked me the question and I shook my head. "No he doesn't want to speak to you..... Sorry Mum....No.....I'll tell him....yes Mum....I love you too, Yes I'll tell him...bye Mum, Love you." She closed the phone

"She asked me to tell you she's sorry and that she still loves you",

Loves Me... Oh Fuck!

Unexpected raw pain blossomed in my chest!

A tight band of pain around my diaphragm.

Loves me..

Loves me so much she couldn't wait to jump in our bed, our bed with that asshole....

Loves me...

I was aware I was standing, shouting and that Megan was cowering on the sofa but I didn't care. "Fucking...he'll...that fucking...smirking bastard...Just fucking sex!"

"Cheated...I'll..."

"Cheating bitch!"...

Involuntary my hands became fists, my teeth clenched.

My rant was halted by a noise came from a bedroom, and Sioux threw open her door, obviously just awoken after her night shift, dressed in a short halter back black nighty that did little to hide her large bust or long legs.

Staggering out holding her tangle of dyed red hair away from her face.

"What the fuck, Ger...who's this and why are you shouting?" she looked at my face

"Oh Fuck! Jerry don't do this!" she not too gently slapped my cheek,

"Jerry come on back, dial it down, you can do this,"

She rubbed at my cheeks with her knuckles "Come on Jerry, Breathe deep slow breaths, Come on back to me Jerry."

She did this until I was able to calm down

As my eyes refocused she hugged me tightly pressing those magnificent mammaries against my chest, distracting me as they always did.

"Sioux?" I hugged her back and lay my head on her shoulder.

"Yes Jerry, You're okay," she rubbed my back feeling the tension there "What happened?"

"Sioux meet my daughter Megan, Megan my friend Sioux,"

"Ah! You were talking about she who cannot be spoken about?"

"She spoke to her on the phone, and she told her she still loves me" I released Sioux and sat heavily in my chair

"Sorry", I told them both "I guess I still have issues",

Sioux turned to Megan, "Megan is it? Are you okay?"

She nodded frightened still "What happened?"

"Your old Dad unfortunately developed a form of PTSD, during his time away, giving him severe anger issues. Some things make him so furious that he just can't control himself."

Sioux stood stretched and made her way into the kitchenette area in search of coffee.

"Is he alright?" Megan asked staring at me.

"He will be, just give him a moment, forcing his beast back into its cage. Getting back in control. Just takes him a little while,"

"Are you Dad's girlfriend?" Megan asked finally, watching Sioux search for a clean mug

Sioux snorted "He wishes!"

"No Sioux owns this trailer, she's my landlady, her boyfriend's Malcolm, he was sitting next to me at the bar when you came in." I told her trying to shake off my mood.

Sioux fell into the sofa clutching her coffee mug "So what's going on, why is your daughter is visiting? I mean if I'd had warning I could have cleaned up, baked a cake. I probably wouldn't of, but I might have."

I let Megan repeat her story while I brooded about my reaction to hearing my wife's voice.

The crippling depression that often followed my loss of control threatened to over whelm me.

Sioux noticed of course, "I think your father needs a hug".

Megan climbed into my lap like she did when she was small and wrapped her arms around me. I buried my face in her neck so she couldn't see my face and inhaled her scent while she told Sioux the rest of her story.

As Megan finished, Sioux asked me "So what are you going to do about your daughter?"

I took a deep breath and faced her "I guess that I'm going find if I'm a suitable donor,"

Megan hugged me as Sioux smiled, "Road trip?"

To be continued;