Runaway Fantasy Pt. 01

Mike then reaches across the table and takes both of my hands into his. I know we briefly hugged when I first arrived, but this feels like our first real moment of physical contact. Which after three years of getting to know someone virtually, is a pretty big deal.

But just as quickly as it begins, Mike's touch is gone as he immediately withdraws his hands after just a brief second or two.

Mike (seeming a little panicky): "Sorry. I probably shouldn't do that."

I'm not sure if I did something wrong or if Mike just had second thoughts about holding my hands. Either way, I'm too confused to say anything.

Mike (more quietly than he's been talking): "Becca, trust me when I say this... you are so absolutely perfect just the way you are. I would not change one single thing about you if I could. You're amazing."

I have to admit, Mike seems so sincere that it's hard to conclude he's saying that just to be nice. But could he really mean what he just said? That I'm perfect and amazing? Because it doesn't really make any sense.

Look, I know I'm not hideous. I definitely wasn't the ugliest girl in my school, but I also know I wasn't the prettiest. Or anywhere close to the prettiest. Honestly, if I had to pick one word to describe my appearance, it would be 'invisible'. I mean, I told you that story about Cole in my art class not knowing my name. That right there was my whole high school experience wrapped in a nutshell.

Now every once in a blue moon I would get some hint of attention from a boy, but without fail it would be someone I had absolutely zero interest in myself. I don't want to be mean, but it's not like I got attention from some nice guy who just wasn't very popular. That, I might've been interested in pursuing. But instead, the few times I did find out some boy liked me, it would always be someone either really annoying, really creepy, or in some cases, both!

So when I see someone like Mike, who's handsome and has a real life, claiming to be interested in me, it's really hard not to question why. I mean of all the people to think I'm amazing, why would it be someone really good looking who already has a wife and a successful career, when all the boring, single, mediocre boys at my school would never even give me a second look?

Mike (probably sensing something is off with me): "Sorry if that was a little too forward."

Me: "No. That was very nice of you to say."

Mike: "Why do you look so worried then?"

Me: "Why do you like me?"

Mike (clearly taken aback by my question): "Why do I like you??"

Me (clarifying): "Yeah, why do you seem to like me so much? The boys at my school never seemed to show any interest in me, but then you come along and say these ridiculously nice things about me. It doesn't make sense, I guess? That's what has me worried."

Mike chuckles, and at the same time we both see that our waitress is walking over with my water and his beer.

Mike: "The short answer? The short answer is that the boys at your school were a bunch of goddamn idiots."

Waitress (while placing our drinks down): "Are you guys ready to order?"

Mike (looking at me): "Have you had a chance to look at your full-grown adult menu?"

Me (smirking because I can't believe he said that in front of the waitress): "Yeah, I'm ready."

We both order, as I get the chicken quesadillas and Mike goes for some grilled chicken dish with steamed vegetables as his side. It seems noteworthy just for how grown up and healthy it sounds. The waitress takes our menus and heads off to put in our order.

Mike: "Okay, you want the long answer?"

Me (smiling): "I would love the long answer."

Mike: "Boys at your age are very susceptible to both prejudice and peer pressure. Now, it wasn't that long ago that you still had your braces on, right?"

Me: "Yeah, I finally got them off like a year and a half ago."

Mike: "Now I'm sure you were cute even with a mouth full of metal... but you probably weren't anything close to what you are now. I mean, this young lady who's in front of me today? She's stunning."

I have to hand it to him. His compliments do make me feel so good.

Mike (continuing his explanation): "But the boys in your school didn't see it. And it's probably because they had already made up their minds years ago who was hot and who wasn't. And so they're stuck in this prejudiced mindset were absent of some new jock showing up to school and being like, 'You know what? That Becca chick is hot! Who's she dating?' there's no way to break them out of their old mindset that simply didn't think you were anything special. But that whole time, I know for a fact you were slowly and surely becoming the gorgeous and beautiful girl you are now. But fuck them. It's their loss."

Me (feeling like I'm probably blushing): "Thanks. That's really nice of you to say."

Mike: "And believe me, I know where you're coming from. I really struggled in high school. Like really struggled."

As Mike is saying this, I realize that in the grand scheme of things, my experience of feeling invisible in school probably wasn't that bad compared to how some other kids end up getting treated.

Mike (continuing on): "I was a big kid. Like not just overweight, but obese. And so I got picked on a lot. And as you might imagine, I didn't have any luck whatsoever with the girls."

Me: "Oh Mike, I'm so sorry. I'm sure you were such a sweet kid and didn't deserve that."

Mike: "And so I was a complete and total virgin for a long time. A really long time. I had to wait until I was 25 years old until I had my first kiss, and I didn't have sex until I was 28."

This time I reach out and I take Mike's hands, and I give them a little squeeze. He quietly says thanks, but then retreats his hands back.

Mike: "And so there are two things going on here as to why I like you so much. Like really, really like you. The first is that I look at you and I think back to when I was your age, and how I never would've had a prayer of a chance with a girl like you."

That comment somehow makes me feel both good and bad at the same time.

Mike: "But the second part, and this is probably going to make me sound creepy... but I actually really like how innocent you are? Like it's a huge turn on for me. When I finally did lose my virginity, as you would expect, the girl I lost it to wasn't a virgin like I was. In fact, she had quite a bit of experience. And since then, any other women I've ended up having sex with, which granted has not been a lot, but all the way up to and including my wife Jennifer, they all had way more experience than I did. And so whenever I first had sex with someone, it always felt like I was pretty clueless, like I didn't know what I was supposed to be doing, at least compared to them."

Now Mike actually sticks his hands back out across the table, and I'm happy to place my fingers in his palms.

Mike (seeming to come to a conclusion): "And so as much as they taught me, I've always dreamt about finding an adorable, sweet, and innocent girl who I could return that favor too. Who I could teach everything that I now know about sex, and get to watch her learn and experience everything for the very first time. It's like the biggest fantasy I've ever had in my life, and oh my fucking god, Becca, there is no one I could possibly imagine more perfect for this role than you."

Wow. As Mike finishes his explanation, and the two of us stare into each other's eyes, all I can think about is how his rationale actually makes a lot of sense. I honestly was very skeptical about all of this, of how genuine his praise for me could actually be, but I think I get it. I can totally see where he's coming from.

Just then our food arrives, and I don't think either one of us saw the waitress approaching until she's already in the process of placing our plates down on the table. And while we had still been holding hands when she got here, as soon Mike sees her, he immediately yanks his hands away, yet again. I think at this point, it's safe to assume he's self-conscious about people thinking we're 'together'. As far as I know, I don't think we're anywhere close to where he lives, so I don't think it's because he's married. But maybe it's our age difference that has him worried instead? Either way, I decide to just let it be and not ask.

The food looks great and I'm pretty hungry, so I dig right in. And while I initially start eating my quesadilla with just my hands, I realize that Mike is obviously using a knife and fork for his chicken and vegetables, so I quickly wipe my fingers off in my napkin and switch to using utensils as well.

Mike (noticing and chuckling): "Becca, you can definitely use your hands if you want. Believe me, I am not here to judge anything about you."

Me: "Ok, good. Thanks. I think I will switch back, ha. So anyway, I have to ask... if you were overweight growing up, how did you end up getting into such great shape, like you are now?"

Mike (gesturing down at his meal): "Part of it is this. I mean, I would love to have ordered the cheeseburger and fries, but instead I'm eating this much more sensible meal, which honestly isn't bad, but it definitely isn't a burger."

Me: "So you eat pretty healthy I take it? I'm guessing my quesadilla wouldn't qualify, ha."

Mike: "Oh Becca, you deserve to eat whatever you want. I mean look at you, do you even weigh a hundred pounds?"

Me: "Ha. Usually."

Mike: "Usually?"

Me: "Yeah, depending on the day I probably weigh between like 99 and 102. So yeah, most days I do weigh at least a hundred."

Mike: "Well you are just the cutest, sexiest, one hundred pound package on Earth, so if eating quesadillas is what got you to this point, then by all means keep eating those quesadillas!"

I think I stopped listening after I heard the word 'sexy' in there. I don't think he's ever used that word to describe me, either in all of our past chatting online or in the short time we've been here at the restaurant. I know he's used 'cute' and 'adorable' a ton, but I'm pretty sure he's never called me sexy.

Mike: "But yeah it's tough for me sometimes. Donuts are my big weakness. You know those standard glazed Krispy Kreme ones? Fuck, I could eat a dozen of those in one sitting if you let me. But I know how bad I'd feel both physically and mentally if I did."

Mike (continuing on): "You know it's weird, part of what keeps me disciplined is actually the process of denying myself something that I want. It's like I almost enjoy seeing, but not having something really, really good. I think I must be some sort of masochist. And so with food and other stuff too, I've almost come to relish the experience of denying myself pleasurable things for some reason. It's pretty strange, I know."

Me (laughing): "Ha. That is definitely not me. I love dessert too much and I am terrible about not eating it when I probably shouldn't."

Mike (smiling): "Again, if it ain't broke... don't fix it."

Me: "Well I think it's great that you're eating healthy, but you of all people should definitely get to have what you want. At least some of the time!"

Mike (smiling): "With you here at this table, I am getting everything I wanted!"

Oh man, he is so sweet, and all I can think about is how well this is going so far. I love that Mike's happy, and it's even better that I'm the one who's making him feel this way!

Me (still curious about Mike's amazing transformation): "So how is that you're in such super good shape though. Do you exercise a lot? And what about the rest of your family, are they as into being fit as you are?"

Mike: "Yeah, exercising is the other half of the equation, and I try to be just as diligent about that as I am with what I eat. Regarding Jennifer, you know it's funny, she used to be really health conscious, like she was definitely in better shape than I was when we first got married. But lately, like the last few years, we've been going in exact opposite directions. I've been exercising more, while she's been getting more and more unhealthy both in how she eats and how she's not very active anymore. Sorry if that's kind of a harsh statement."

Me: "No, no it's not. I can see how that would be frustrating or worrisome."

Mike: "And it's not just a sex appeal issue. Well, part of it definitely is, as she used to be so much prettier when she was in shape... and younger. But part of it is just a health thing. I want her to be healthy, you know?"

Me: "Yeah, that totally makes sense. What about your kids, do they play sports and stuff? And how old are they again?"

Mike: "My stepson is going into 7th grade, and my stepdaughter is starting high school in the fall, so she's going into 9th. And yeah, they're both pretty active from the various sports they play."

Me: "That's great. I really haven't played any sort of organized sports since I was like 8 years old and played soccer. What sports does your daughter play?"

Mike (correcting me): "Stepdaughter. But you know, I kinda don't wanna talk too much about my family if that's okay?"

Me: "Oh. Yeah of course. That's totally fine. Sorry."

Mike (reassuringly): "Oh it's totally fine. It's just with me being married and all, as great as it is to be here with you, I can't help but feel a little bit guilty, you know?"

Me: "Yeah, me too. I know what you mean."

Mike: "But hey, speaking of doing things we're not supposed to be doing... ha. So here's the deal... and I just want you to know that if you're not comfortable with any of this, just let me know and you can always head home anytime you want. But anyway... I got us a room over across the street there at the Residence Inn. I picked one with two queens, just so you could have your own bed if you wanted."

With Mike mentioning the hotel room now, it's like things are starting to feel real. I get hit with a rush of nervousness right in the pit of my stomach. It's definitely not negative, like a feeling of dread, but it's not really a positive feeling of excitement either. It's just extreme nervousness in a completely neutral sort of way. Everything's felt so calm and safe so far, but now I'm realizing that was almost certainly due to us being in this public space. Once we get into the privacy of that hotel room, I really have no idea what to expect. But I want to go, and I want to find out. I may be nervous about what comes next, but there's no way I came this far just to back out now.

Me: "Okay... that sounds good. Should we head over there?"

Mike (grinning ear to ear): "Easy there. We still have to pay the bill. But I love your enthusiasm. Love it."

Ah yes, I had completely forgotten that Applebee's isn't complimentary. My mind is a little jumbled right now to say the least.

Me (while taking out my wallet): "I can definitely pay for my meal."

Mike (quickly): "Oh absolutely not. I wouldn't dream of it. I've got you covered for as long as you decide to stay here with me."

But then I see Mike looking at my unfolded wallet.

Mike (pointing): "Can I see your ID?"

Me (not thinking much of the request): "Sure."

So I hand him my drivers license, and then I realize that maybe that wasn't the safest thing to do?

Me (with a hint of worry): "Are you looking at my home address?"

Mike (very apologetically): "Oh I'm so sorry, no I wasn't. I didn't even think about that. I was actually looking at your picture. And to be honest, I was looking at your birthdate. Not that I don't trust you, but you know..."

Me: "You think I might've lied when I told you it was my birthday?"

Mike (clarifying): "I just wanted to confirm that you really are 18... as you know, it's kind of important to say the least."

Me: "Ah okay. Yep, I promise I really am 18."

Mike (smiling): "And not to defend the waitress here, but I have to say you do look really, really, young."

Me (smiling now too): "Hey, but I definitely don't look like I'm 10 or 12 or whatever the kids menu is for!"

Mike (laughing): "Ha, yeah fair enough. 15 or 16 maybe."

Me (laughing now too): "Well sorrrr-eeeeee. It's not like it's something I can control."

Mike: "Oh no, no, you do not need to apologize."

Mike (quietly and slowly, almost as if he's speaking to himself): "It. Is. Not. A bad. Thing. At all..."

Mike finishes paying for our meal, and he asks if we should head out. I confirm that I'm as ready as I'll ever be, so we walk out of Applebee's and drive our cars separately from the restaurant's parking lot to the hotel parking lot right across the street. I follow Mike and park my car next to his.

He offers to carry my small suitcase in for me, so he grabs that and leads us to his room on the first floor. As he opens the door, I can see there are in fact two queen beds off in the bedroom, but more impressively the hotel room has both a kitchen and a whole living room area! I haven't stayed in a ton of hotels in my life, but this seems to be a really big suite.

Mike (welcoming me in): "Well... here we are."

I kind of stand in one spot, peering around while checking everything out. Mike carries my suitcase into the bedroom and places it on one of the two beds. Then he comes back into the living room, walks up to me and takes my hands into his, interlocking our fingers while looking down at me. My heart rate instantly doubles.

I'm not very tall, like 5'2", and Mike is at least average height for a male, if not slightly above, so there's a pretty big discrepancy between our eye levels.

Mike (lifting all four of our hands up to be between our chests): "I'm so sorry I didn't hold your hands more at the restaurant. I really wanted to. I'm just paranoid. Don't think for a second that I was ashamed or embarrassed or something. I just think that some people might not understand."

I figured that was the case, but it's still nice to hear. More importantly though, it sure seems like something's about to happen. I'm too frozen to move or say anything though, so I continue to peer up at this handsome, 45-year-old married man who for whatever reason, really seems to like me.

After what feels like forever, but was probably only like 10 to 15 seconds of us looking into each other's eyes, Mike releases my left hand and brings his fingers up to gently move a few strands of my hair off of my cheek and behind my left ear. It feels so intense to have him touch me, even if it's just on my face.

Mike then sighs audibly, and continues moving his hand down past my ear until it slowly travels the full length of my neck, and in the process pushes my medium length light brown hair back behind my shoulder. With my hair now out of the way, his fingers retrace their steps back up my neck and slowly dance around, sending a shiver down my spine.

Mike (quietly): "Oh my god, Becca... your skin is just flawless. It's so smooth and young and perfect... I've just never been able to actually touch skin like this before."

Mike is talking, but all I can do is stare at his lips. I don't even process what he's saying because I'm so preoccupied wondering if he's going to kiss me or not.

Mike (continuing on): "And if your face and neck are this precious, then my god... I can't even imagine how amazing some of your other parts must be."

Oh just kiss me Mike. I want my first kiss.

My telepathic messages finally seem to get through, as Mike then lets go of my right hand and with his two hands now free, he uses both of them to take ahold of my face. He slides his ten fingers across my two cheeks until they settle in amongst my ears and hair, resting firmly on each side of my jaw. His extremely strong hands now have complete control of my head, and it feels like he can basically do anything he wants to me from this position.

Of course I want him to kiss me, but instead he just looks at me. First into my eyes, but then down at my lips. Then back up at my eyes. My heart is absolutely pounding with anticipation as he continues to hold my head in a vice-like grip. Finally I can't take it any more.