All Comments on 'Runaway Pt. 02'

I love this story so much!

A wonderful tale by a masterful storyteller.

A simply outstanding story!

Reading through this again, I am reminded of how tremendous the quality of writing is. In particular, the erotic scene is outstanding.

The best compliment I can bestow is you've made me care about these characters. Thank you.

I don't usually make comments because anyone who tries to write a story here shows guts.

However you are an exceptional writer and I enjoy your story.

Stunning work. Good enough for publication!

Wow. Wow.

So incredibly sweet! So well written!

And HOT! On to part 3! <Insert excited girlish giggle here>

Read Chapter 1 and the Anon comments; seriously no idea.

This chapter just confirmed what everyone else had thought; simply an amazing story.

Can't wait to read the remaining chapters and see how this ends.

Shout out to blackrandl1958 for organizing and to the people behind MsCheryl.

C

Except for the blow job. One minute Lacey is barely conversant about sex and the next she is asking how to give oral. It is kind of out of character, but I don't know how else the author gets Noah's cock in her mouth :) Really well written and a pleasure to read even with the few errors. A 5 Star Rating.

BurntRedstone stole my line: "It just keeps getting better and better."

This has got to be one of the best stories I've ever read on lit. Should definitely be in the hall of fame for first time!

More greatness. On to 3!

Hooked

Just when I think I have read all the good authors on this site, another great one pops up and drags me into their world. MsCherylTerra has created a protagonist that is too adorable by far and just bubbling over with a pure, natural sexiness. So sweet.

Sweet

Lovely, slowly developing tale, elegantly told. The initial setting draws the reader in, increasing interest in these highly complex characters wrestling with their own inner thoughts. I had one extended affair that began in similar, highly accidental, circumstances: a ski weekend at a friend's small cabin, only two beds and four of us. It was cold enough folks paired up just for warmth (and there was no where else to sleep.) I was totally undone sleeping next to M, who I barely knew (but her sweet, tight pajama top suggested a marvelous, alive, moving chest underneath, an image that troubled me more than I could have thought), who was far more relaxed, and although nothing happened that night (except nerves, and a little sleep) life was not the same for each of us after that. You put a lot of work into this story, well done.

This one was better. Only issue I could find was difficulty figuring out who spoke when at times, when ambiguous dialogue wasn't accompanied by a declaration of who said it. This segment gets a 5.

...seems as if a story with this type of developmental sequences has characters who deserve our respect. They are laying it out for all of us to read, perhaps we should do the same by signing our names. Respect? Courage? Growth? A willing suspension of disbelief, even?

If these two and their friends and acquaintances are willing to struggle, albeit with missteps, should we not be encouraging or, at least, not be overlaying them with our tired, jaded, disappointed, experiences in life?

As yowser noted, "elegantly said," and I can't add much more.

... two details in a story that otherwise feels perfect to me.

The first thing is the blow job. I think it would fit better with the narrative of Lacey being innocent and Noah being experienced if he had eaten her pussy instead. Maybe I am biased, because ever since my first girlfriend had an orgasm on my mouth sex feels incomplete without it. However, if Lacey is compelled to give pleasure, perhaps there could be some elaboration on how she got the idea. Maybe she had heard or read about it before, was shocked, conflicted, repulsed, but now with Noah it all feels different, natural and right. Let us know what goes on in Lacey's head when she decides to give head, because it is a big deal in this context.

The second thing is the character of the father. Any man who calls his son a faggot and his daughter a whore is a despicable human being. Couldn't he be made a little bit more humanized? Self-righteous, bigoted, narrowminded yes, but not outright scum. Otherwise it seems not very believable that a decent woman would have married him and raised a family of two children who both grew into responsible young adults with a good heart and a good moral compass. Perhaps there could be chance of redemption for the conflicted soul of of the man.

I love their love story. You leave no details spared. Thank you for this visual in Toronto (from a Toronto girl myself!). It was great following along with them on their date. I love the sweet sweet relationship building between the two. Noah is such a sweetheart and I only wish them both happiness. Wow, you have me all caught up! Love it

Very romantic, someone should slap some sense into her dad...................

Her needs step up and leave the father until he changes his views, talk about over stop religious zealot! A very cruel man. Very nice romantic story, good for the heart.

AWESOME Story...thanks so much!!!

Oh, so beautifully written it just carries you along. Just hope dear little Miss Lacey is going to man up a bit in the remaining chapters.

I love that you're making this special for us. <3

Cheryl honey, you is good! Must be a difficult Write.

Story is perfect. Nothng more needs to be said except that the story's careful editing shows a high level of respect often lacking with a few other gifted authors on Literotic. Cheryl, I think I love you. I can't wait to get back to this story...And your others.

Cheryl, I am so glad to have found your stories...

Wow this is just…just plain incredible. I’m gonna be so sad when this is over, this has been the most perfect story, the characters and their relationships and EVERYTHING is just so heart-warming.

Someone above said it first—I really care about these characters and wish them well. Only the very best fiction can do that. Easy 5 stars. On to Ch 3.

Prefect ending to a good story. lots of adjustments for these two to help each other with,if you chose to continue there life's together.

The long slow buildup of Part 1 led to an explosive and utterly delightful denouement at the beginning of Part 2. Marvelous, magnificent story! 5 stars.

You have a gift for creating interesting and full of life characters. Such a gift. The range of emotions I feel when I read your writing is amazing. Lit erotica is lucky to have you! And so are we as readers.

Excellent Story

This is pretty masterful. Actually, a good primer on how to write a romance. I always wonder about how to build those moments when the characters want each other desperately; but they have 'conflicts' that make them sure the other doesn't want them, or is not ready, or is the wrong class or race to close the deal. Also great to see that the sex is about the relationship rather than the situation being set up for the sex. If you were to shape this a bit for print publication you could add more talk, on the train, during the picnic, at Tom and Jenny's so we see their lives flesh out. For instance, I assume at some point that Lacey will explore Noah's tattoos. Fine writing.

I am really enjoying this story.

My only niggle - and it is a minor one ...

As others have said, the fellatio scene was a bit out-of-character. If Lacey is the sort of young woman who 'turns away' from mainstream movies when sex scenes come on, she is not going to be drawn to oral sex without some back story.

So, if you are re-editing this for paid publication (and I'd certainly pay for this), perhaps that might be rationalised.

Just the same lovely writing we're used to from you. We visited Toronto for our silver anniversary. Took the Via Rail sleeper to Vancouver. It was lovely to revisit some landmarks with you. Even the boardwalk by the lake. Brilliant!

Mmmmm I love these two. I can just picture them telling their story to their grand kiddies 60 years from now. Well done

this is SO good...the characters, dialogue..really really special

was wondering myself-a salary advance-perfect...

Wonderful story, but - the PENGUINS?

You need to finish it. Nice story but

that's why it's a 4 and not a 5.

Hi.

You said that the story was grouped in four blocks. That must have been written earlier. Now, it’s in two blocks. You may want to fix that.

I did have difficulty reading and keeping track when the energy became wilder. I wanted to skip over those parts. Just so ya no.

Thankyou.

I’ve read this twice, now.

…

Now, I’m beginning to wonder if there ARE four blocks, because the story has ended before we met the brother.

And, i have a vague memory from the first reading that the Mother later left the hateful idiot Father and is living in the same town as the brother. But there is no mention of a link to parts 3 and 4. (??)

…

[ what else am i reading.? I just reread “The Firm”, Grisham’s second book, in order to be up to speed to read, “The Exchange”, the new sequel.

The end of The Firm puts our couple in the most bizarre of circumstances. They are not only being chased by the Mafia; they are being chances by the FBI, as well. ( please note that i used a semi-colon, and at no occasion did i end a sentence with a preposition. ) ]

I have no idea why people keep saying this isn't finished. There are two more parts. If you're on desktop look slightly to the right where it says "Read More Of This Series." If you're not or that's not there for some reason that I, as the author and not the controller of the website and so am not responsible for it, click on the profile to look at my entire list of work. Or if you're extra lazy, here's the series page: literotica.com/series/se/149048316

And so the polished writing and superb storytelling continue. This is a real page-scroller; look forward to the rest of it!