Running Mate

My wife, Claire, is a marathon runner, and the closest I get to actually running myself is hurrying to the bathroom when a bowel movement is crucial.  It is more like a brisk walk while trying to keep my cheeks together.  She runs ten miles a day and twice that on the weekends.   I 'run' errands at a walk at best, so I am supportive of her sports interests, but driving along side is the closest I come to running up mileage.   

Last weekend she came home and introduced me to her new running partner, and if I were picking for her it wouldn't be him.  He is too healthy, too muscular, too pretty, and far too virile for my money.  I would pick someone more in the Andy Devine category.   I don't need her to be running with Cary Grant, or Paul Newman, or Chris Pratt.  Not that I am insecure, but wet tissue paper is more substantial than I am when it comes to going up against the likes of Mr. Wonderful.   

On their first time "working out" together it took them nearly three hours to do what was billed as an hour run.  Then they ended up running by his house for a bathroom break that took thirty minutes, but who is counting.  Not that I am accusing her of fucking and running, but who knows what can be done in a short time by people in incredibly good condition.  

Okay, I admit it, I could start working out with her, so she wouldn't need a running partner, but then her waiting for me every block wouldn't be a big selling point.  I would have to do a marathon relay where I ran a block and handed off to someone who does the other twenty-six miles.

If I wanted a one hour workout I would watch Dual Survival for 60 minutes.  My idea of fun is not puking my guts out after doing something I hate for an hour.  So I am a lazy ass, and do they give out metals for it.  So how did a guy like me get a girl like her?  Luck, I guess, bad luck in her case.  

The only consolation is that I know she is so committed that if she says she is running, she would not do anything to hurt her 'conditioning' or loading on the miles.  My worry is after the running is over.   I don't like the idea of her 'cooling down' with anyone but me.  If her idea of cooling down is getting physical with a six foot three inch beefcake then I worry.   I can't keep up with her on the road, so how in the name of hell will I ever hope to keep up with her in the bedroom?  Good point, right?  But working out myself is totally out of the picture.  

Now I have talked myself into being traumatized by a healthy hunk of male flesh with running shoes and wearing a sweat band.  I know she is not bothered by nudity and his nudity worries me.  It is what can be done naked that frightens me.  I know she likes me to shower with her, so it is showering in pairs that worries me, because after the water gets shut off many nice slippery things can be done after the water and before the mutual drying episode.   

Their first marathon was last month and she finished six minutes behind her "partner" and now she is depressed and thinks she has to 'work harder' to avoid another shameful exhibition.    No matter that she finished ten minutes ahead of her last partner, Cheryl, mother of three and PTA president.  

I don't have to worry about not being good enough, I know how bad I am at nearly all sports, unless you count tiddlywinks as a sport, then I am least good at something.    How I managed to attract Wonder Woman I will never know, it must be the prowess in the bedroom, although you couldn't prove that by all the women beating down my door in college.  I think I had one successful blind date and that was literally with a blind date, one who could not see.  

I know, why would I be running myself down.  I am just joining the multitudes who have been doing it for years.  But back to my problem.  Now that Claire has done poorly in 26 miles, she now says she has to spend more time with Prince Valiant.  Seven days a week was not enough?  I am just waiting for her to say they should sleep together.  My only consolation is that his girlfriend was probably about as thrilled with that announcement as I was.  She is a third grade teacher and I am sure her students see more of her than he does, even counting the nights they sleep together, which should be seven nights a week.  Claire is so tired these days, with all the miles she puts in every week, that she is usually asleep by the time her head touches the pillow case.  I had sex more with her, at least as much as, before we met.    My right arm should be immense with all the workout it is getting.  

I met Mr. Wonderful's wife the other night at a PTA meeting and she is marvelous, and she is totally against running or doing anything more physical than watering the lawn.  I love her.  We even met for coffee after the PTA meeting.   I am thinking of asking her out to workout in front of the television some night this week.  They have no children, so their would be no custody battle in the divorce.  Oh, I am not hoping for a divorce, but you never know.  You may as well get a plan in order. 

Claire and Brad Pitt have a marathon coming up and I have seen more of his wife than he has.  She even dropped by the house the other day while they were out running.  There was even time for her to have multiple orgasms before the runners got home.  She kissed me as she left and it took all my self control to keep from ripping her clothes off.  

We made another date for coffee during the next marathon.  That meant we had over three hours and a half to do just about anything our hearts desired.   She kissed me again on our next "date" and I literally did tear her clothes off, but I at least waited for us to get to our house and get inside where the neighbors couldn't see.  

We have had sex three times, through three workout sessions with our mates jogging side by side for hours.  Claire did pretty well in her next marathon, but I did better.  I brought on two orgasms and a deep sigh in just halfway around the course.  

Claire now lives with Mr. Wonderful and his third grade wife lives with me.  I don't known if Claire and Mr. Olympic Games have been having sex, but I do know Mrs. Elementary school has been having sex with me.  It was a two way split.  Claire doesn't have to travel far to see her running partner, just across the king-size, and I don't even have do any home work to please my third grade teacher.

Claire still runs marathons, and I hear there is trouble brewing in their house because he has been doing much better than she has.  He may just be moving up in class and she may be looking a new running partner, one more like Cheryl, her former workout mate. So, if your wife gets herself a running partner, you just may want to find out if he has a girlfriend.  She just may be getting lonely at home all by herself.  You may want to check that out.