All Comments on 'Rutherford Consulting Ch. 03'

I am starting to get Jules motivation. But he does seem to be rather reckless in handling Ann and Harold. Looking forward to finding out more about the training sessions Amy is running also.

Please keep up the work ont his very interesting tale.

How did Ann go from watching to servicing Jules? After so much exposition in this chapter, that was a key piece of action that you should not have skipped.

Mind control can get a little boring, but you're writing it in an interesting way. Bravo for your writing as well, yes a mistake here and there but very readable. I'm enjoying it.

Although I like the story and I am intrigued by the route you are taking, it is awfully hard to read. There are many mistakes. Even though I have tried to ignore them it distracts from the interesting story you are attempting to tell. This last one had a big gap that left the reader wondering (how did you get there). If you can’t or won’t get an editor, please reread carefully before posting.

Jules is one smart SOB! Ann must please Jules all the time by her submission to him voluntarily or else coming up with wicked, evil sadistic ideas for other people - and - she can't tell anyone else except with his approval! She's fucked for life but it will be interesting because Jules is playing a wonderful game and Ann is the toy! At least one more chapter, please!?

The story is pretty good but I found it really difficult to read. From your first chapter onwards there were errors of syntax, errors in your sentence structure and because of that, errors in that you seemed to move from a first- to second- or even third-person form of writing. You have to proof-read your story before posting. I was beginning to think that English wasn't your first language because of the style of writing. Some of the sentences and conversations were therefore clunky in the reading.