S.C.A.T. College Bk. 01 Ch. 13-14

Anna's eyes brimmed over immediately, and she let the tears fall, but the smile on her lips remained, a loving one.

It was Sam's turn to initiate a kiss, and she held it for a moment longer than normal.

"I. Love. You." she said firmly but with her entire heart after their lips parted. "All I ask is that you talk to me next time you start to feel like things are slipping, ok? So that we can avoid a repeat. You scared the fuck out of us!"

"I'll try," Anna smiled back, then shifted until she was lying on her back. "This robe feels amazing. It's so... mmm... soft."

"Woven from New Zealand wool," Laura said, returning from the kitchen with a spare mug in her hand. The steam rising from it spoke to its hot contents, and Anna propped herself up, then with a little effort and Sam gently helping her, sat up weakly, wobbling for a moment, so she could accept the coffee. She wiped her tears away with the arm of the robe, then sniffed at the mug, taking a small sip.

"May I p-please have some sugar?"

Laura smiled despite herself, and Sam saw that she understood what she had meant about Anna being preciously innocent despite the fetishist and kinkster inside from the insanely polite request.

"Of course," Laura said, walking back to the kitchen to bring a spoon and a sugar bowl back with her. Sam, knowing Anna's tea preferences, scooped two sugars in, then, because it was coffee, an extra half spoon.

"Much better," Anna said after stirring it and taking a sip. She looked Sam dead in the eye, her immense green ones suddenly brimming again with pure emotion. "Listen, I'm... not used to h-how we do things with each other yet, Sam, and I w-w-was blind to what was h-happening in my mind. I should have r-recognized I was shutting down and my walls were crumbling, but I was buh-both so horny at first, and then puking my guts out... I'm st-still sorry I puked on you... that it got buried in... the anger I h-had when you had your... hand down muh-my throat and my b-b-barriers shattered in that rage.. and I sl-sl-sl-slapped you because of it. I also... w-went through some... well...all... of my b-b-b-bad memories after I b-b-b-buh-bro-brok-uh..."

Sam took Anna's hand as she struggled to get the word out, tripping over her own tongue repeatedly, and kissed each of her knuckles. The brunette's eyes widened, as she knew what that meant in the world of BDSM after the punk had told her while they were making her personals profile.

"I'm not submitting to you," Sam said, then put on a lopsided smile, "well, not entirely. But right now, you need me more in the sense of emotional support and someone that listens to you without question, to be there entirely and only for you, so in that sense, yes, I am submitting to you. We all break down once in a while, Anna. Even I have those days where I just want to scream at the wall, frustrated at sometimes the most inconsequential things. I've had days where nothing I do seems to work or make sense, and I want to punch something just to get my anger out. It's... part of being human."

Anna reached out a hand, cupping Sam's cheek gently as the punk rubbed against the hand, smiling with love, more tears springing from her eyes.

"How are you so puh-puh-perfect?" Anna's eyes welled up before she blinked away her own tears.

"I'm nowhere near perfect," Sam replied, her voice heavily tinged with shame, lowering her eyes so she didn't have to feel the intense, loving gaze of those precious green jewels, "as I so clearly demonstrated about two hours ago. I told you before that I'm no Mary Sue Miss Perfect fictional character, and if ever you needed evidence of that..."

Looking back up, Sam leaned in as one tear managed to escape those gorgeous eyes, kissing it off of her love's cheek. She then sniffled hard, wiping her own tears away before pulling Anna into a tight hug for a few moments.

"We were actually talking about it while you slept," Laura said, startling both as they had completely forgotten she was still there in the living room with them. The dyke sat down on the love seat, then reached over and held out her hand. Anna took it with curious eyes, feeling a reassuring squeeze through it.

"The basic thought is that this week you've been with each other almost every hour of every day, that things are going by very fast. In a way, you might not be letting things process fully before moving on to the next thing. In that sense, you might be building up a backlog of stuff that, if that dam bursts, causes you to overload."

Anna bit her lower lip in thought, her left eye twitching, then slowly nodded, getting another reassuring squeeze of her hand before Laura let it go.

"That kind of has been what it's like, looking back over it," she admitted, sipping her coffee. "Monday this purple haired punk woman from heaven walks into t-the dorm. She gifts me my first pair of knee high boots, sh-shares herself with me, shares her b-b-bed with me, her piss, her experience in fucking, her own self to be f-f-fucked, her new lesbian friend that is amazing with her t-t-tongue and mouth, and now h-her fetish of shit with me... in s-six days, that is a lot."

Anna tugged the blanket up, pulling it to her chest protectively as she took another sip. She looked down at her hand holding the blanket, and with a heavy sigh, let it drop back down to her lap.

"Even t-thinking about it all made me defensive," she held up the hand that had handled the blanket, then slumped sadly, her voice dejected. "I wish I was nuh-nuh-nor-normal."

"Babe," Sam said immediately, kneeling up so that she was eye to eye with Anna, "as I keep saying, over and over, you are normal. You are the perfect normal for me to have fallen so completely in love with you as quickly as I have! Please... stop doubting yourself, stop deprecating yourself! I love you for you, as you are. I wouldn't have you. Any. Other. Way."

Anna's hand grabbed the blanket again, but as her eyes were locked with Sam's she didn't even realize she had done it.

"Laura does have a very good point,though," Sam continued, leaning in and taking Anna's hand in hers, making her drop the blanket so they could clasp their hands together. "It's no use filling up a water bottle when it's already three quarters full. We need to let this," she tapped Anna's forehead gently, "and this," she tapped Anna between her breasts more to the left side, "get in synch before we try pouring any more in, 'k?"

Anna's reply was simply to lean forward and kiss her girlfriend.

"You are so per-per-perfect, and I won't have you d-d-denying it" she whispered, meeting the icy blue eyes with a smile. "No one has ever really t-tried to understand me like y-y-you have, and you are patient, t-tolerant, kind, you st-stayed with me wh-wh-when anyone else would have left me to suffer alone, and," the smile widened as her eyes seem to dance with light, sparkling fully again as Sam's heart soared, "w-w-well, you're un-unbelievably, astonishingly, m-mind-blowingly hot."

"A. Fucking. Men," Laura grinned, reaching over and slapping Sam's ass. "Tight little butt, tattoos everywhere, smooth pussy, very tasty asshole, and a damned good kisser. You really are the full meal deal."

"Will both of you shut up?" Sam finally laughed out loud, feeling her emotions settle back into their normal place, her heart mended... mostly. She touched foreheads with Anna, their little way of showing each other they truly did love each other, before kissing her forehead gently.

"No," Anna said with the first fully happy smile since she had woken up. "Besides, all the b-b-books and th-therapists over the years told me that t-t-t-talking out my emotions helps me handle them."

"Well," Sam replied, squeezing Anna's hand again, "it sounds viable. So, babe, what do you see when you look at me?"

Anna almost rolled her eyes, but caught the serious undertone to her girlfriend's voice. She looked at Sam, really looked at her, and let her mind have a brief period of being released from its reins.

"Someone t-that has taken the time to try her best to un-understand my issues, and through her compassion, puh-patience, and selflessness has helped me open up more than any of those th-th-therapists ever c-could. Someone... I love..." she said after a moment, then a wry little grin crossed her mouth, and she giggled a tiny bit. "Fuck the therapists, a-anyways... ch-charging $150 per h-hour to tell me what I already k-k-knew..."

Sam felt a light blush rise, coughing and sipping coffee to cover it up.

"And w-what about me?"

Sam blinked, looking at Anna. She nodded with a go on look.

"That one is easy," Sam said, feeling the natural smile cross her face. "Love, tolerance, and understanding, You don't shun me for my interests, vanilla or kink... you haven't even once asked me to change my hair or dress differently or stop being an anarchist, which I'm not, or any one of the thousands of things that people tell punks like me to do. You just... accept me as I am, something I'm still getting used to, as I have always felt I needed to change to match each woman I was with. You... you just accept me, warts 'n all."

Anna ran her fingers through Sam's hair, getting a happy sound from her, putting the mug of coffee down with her other hand.

"Why the f-f-f-fuck would I want you to cut your hair?" she asked. "I love the pur-purp-purple, and I l-love your warts!"

"Well, mainstream people don't seem to like punks, apparently, as they are always saying our hairstyles ar-OOP!"

Sam made a startled sound as Anna had moved so fast off the couch and tackled her in a tight hug, faster than anyone she had ever seen, and landed with a light thump on her back, chuckling.

"Well," Anna whispered into Sam's ear as she snuggled up against her, her familiar loving smile creasing her face, setting Sam's heart aflutter, "f-fuck the mainstream! I just so happen to be in love with this amazing p-punk girl, and th-those mainstream p-people can go suck a cock! Maybe I should t-te-tell you all about my punk girlfriend?"

"Maybe," Sam winked, then cradled Anna's head against her shoulder as the brunette made a happy, cozy sound, and Laura finally let a full smile light up her face as well.

"We're going to be alright, you and I," the punk whispered to her geeky brunette love. "We're going to be alright."

-----------------

"Fuck me," Sam sighed, sliding the deadbolt home, hearing Anna flop onto the couch a moment before the zippers of her boots were slowly undone. "That was... an eventful day."

She bent over to untie her own boots, putting them beside the door. Realizing Anna hadn't made a comment, that the zipping sound had suddenly paused, she looked over and saw her love quietly sobbing, tears falling, face buried in her hands, one boot still on, half unzipped.

"Oh, babe," she said softly, padding over and wrapping her up in a hug.

They had spent the whole walk home hand in hand but not talking, well after the sun had gone down, after spending the rest of the afternoon and early evening at the dyke's place. They had talked about everything, letting Anna vent, and chatting about things and places that lesbians could go for a good, fun date. Laura had offered to drive them, but they had both agreed the woman had already done enough for them, plus she had a washroom covered in dried puke and shit to clean.

"I know it's st-st-st-stupid," Anna's voice was quivering, "but I just can't get over slapping you and t-then shu-shutting down on y-y-you. I feel so bad about it. I... heard you scream and t-then cry when I w-was st-stuck remembering my... c-c-c-cu-cutting... d-da-day-days-"

"I know," Sam said, kissing her forehead. She cupped her face, tilting the brunette's eyes up to hers, thumbs wiping away the tears. "You hit me to defend yourself. You felt attacked both physically and mentally, and I was the cause of both, so you hit me. You have absolutely nothing to apologize for, because I'm the one that fucked everything up, and that's that. This is on me, my fault, my fuck up, and I won't let you take any responsibility for it."

"B-b-b-but-" Anna started, before Sam put a finger to her lips, then kissed her as gently as she could.

"No buts," the punk said quietly but directly. "Now is not the time for ifs, ands, buts, or any of that shit. We can talk about it all tomorrow, because right now you're still so emotionally charged up, and out of whack with your thoughts and feelings, that it won't help at all." Her face softened into a loving smile and she kissed the brunette's cheek with the gentleness of a feather. "Let's get you to bed, so you can get some rest."

Anna finally nodded, letting herself be pulled up to her feet, wobbling ever so slightly. Sam noticed it, and slid her arm around her love's waist.

"C'mon," she smiled, guiding them towards Anna's room, "let's get you under some familiar blankets."

Her clothes came off rather easily, the boot slipping off without needing to be fully unzipped. Sam helped Anna into her PJ pants and night shirt, then helped her sit on the edge of the bed, kissing her forehead, then both cheeks, as she did.

Before Anna had even shuffled her ass back to her side of the bed, she yawned massively, eyes already drooping as she realized that she was somewhere that she was safe, with someone that made her feel that way. Sam only had a few things on anyways, so she was stripped in about twenty seconds, lifting the sheets for Anna to slide her legs in and shuffle down onto her back before walking back over to the main room. Turning off the lights, she then made her way by feel and memory back to the bed, not bothering with her own night shirt in her room... she had a woman waiting for her comforting and warm snuggle, and nothing was going to distract her from that.

She slipped in and felt her girlfriend slide up against her side instantly, lifting her arm so Anna could get her head tucked up under Sam's chin, where she loved to rest it. She then placed her hand on the back of the brunette's head to hold her there, safe and sound.

Anna locked her arms around Sam's waist, nuzzled her head in to her upper chest a little more, then a moment later, the first little nose whistle of her tiny snores sounded out, the woman already dead asleep. The punk's heart soared, almost coming up into her throat before she let the smile crease her face.

"Tired little beauty," Sam whispered, kissing the top of Anna's head. "I love you. I know it's happened so fast... but I know already... I want this to last forever."

Sam kissed the top of Anna's head again, blinking up at the ceiling at admitting that. She had been thinking the entire way back to the dorm about just how much the woman snuggled against her actually meant to her, after going through the emotional turmoil earlier in the day when her heart had torn itself in two. She had had girlfriends, lovers, even serious committed relationships in her past, but none had ever felt anywhere near as special as this one.

It had passed beyond lust in the first 24 hours, and that day at the shoe store, when she had kissed Anna on the lips that first time, even though it was only meant to be a tease... it had unlocked a part of her that she didn't even know was behind a locked door. She glanced down, her eyes adjusting to the dark, and watched the duvet rise and fall in time with the brunette's breathing. She felt her heart explode into a billion pieces again, except this time each piece was filled with simple, complex, complete, overwhelming love.

Sam smiled wider in the dark, and, thankful that Anna was asleep, let a couple of happy tears streak down her cheek. She sniffled lightly, using her free arm to wipe them away, then settled back into the pillows, the smile never leaving her face as she closed her eyes and relaxed.

A few minutes later, Sam was asleep, her entire world cradled in her arms... safe... protected... loved... and she would do absolutely anything and everything to keep Anna feeling that way.

END OF PART 1