Sadness in the Eyes - Pt. 01

"Oh, Sammy!" Kate cried and gave me a side hug. I instantly felt better. She did things to me no one else could. I was in deep trouble. She released me slowly, kissing my cheek.

"Yeah! I became an unromantic cunt after that. Just slept with women who were looking for a lay. I'm not proud of it. I never lied to them about what I wanted and broke off before it would seem to get serious."

"It eventually got too cheap. I felt worthless and selfish. Stopped that a long while ago. Finding love is a distant dream now. I'm poison, Katie. Destined to die alone." I said dramatically.

"You believe that? What is your ideal woman, Sammy?" She asked

"I do. The ideal for me would be someone kind, loving and caring. Never have I been truly loved by a woman. I'd like to know what that feels like, to belong to someone, to love and be loved back for a lifetime. Too bad that will never happen." I snorted but I was desperately trying to fight off tears.

"It doesn't have to be so. Can I share something?" Kate asked with trepidation.

"You don't need to ask that, Katie. I'm always here." I replied. She looked down, pausing to think. Her eyes were sad again. I seemed to bring that out quite a lot and kicked myself for it.

"Not here. I'll cook for you Monday. Jules is going to be at her boyfriend's. Come by the flat at 7?" She asked.

"Umm.. Okay. You alright?" I probed.

"No, I'm not, to be honest. It's okay. I'll head home and sleep it off. The drinks will surely help."

"Katie, you can tell me what's bothering you." I insisted, laying my hand on hers.

"I will, Sammy. Monday. Now find me a cab." She said patting my cheek smiling softly. I got her an Uber.

She got up when the taxi arrived, hugged me tighter than I've ever been hugged and kissed my mouth. It was a chaste kiss that friends might share but didn't feel friendly at all.

"Monday. 7 pm. If you're late you get to do the dishes." she said before walking away quickly. I was bolted to the ground like an idiot, my fingers touching the lingering warmth of her lips.

Why was I recalling this now? Of course it was Monday! And, it was half past six! Shit! We'd just texted awkwardly over the weekend. She had cancelled our now regular Saturday lunch. It was too awkward for us both, I guessed.

I was still at the office. Rushing out was the only option. Glad she didn't live far away. I could just about make it.

I contemplated cancelling but Katie needed me. Whatever she had to say must be important. I couldn't leave her alone. I had this need to be around her all the time. The kiss hung around my neck like an albatross. What had it meant? Was I reading into it too much? Was this the tragic end of a friendship that meant the world to me? To us?

I dreaded another possibility. Was it love?