Sailing Away

Sailing Into the Unknown.

"STOP IT, YOU TWO!" blasted through my mind as the confident, easy-going stranger smiled at me. Hi I'm Andi. I'm 22, a conservative married Christian girl. And those naughty, naughty nipples I was screaming at in my head, have only ever been seen (let alone TOUCHED) by my totally beloved husband of 2 years. But ever since puberty, my body has tormented me this way. Whenever I am in the presence of an older man, and he is not being overt, but I know he's aware of me, my whole body responds ... well ... sexually. I think of it as "The Wave". I have always been ashamed of these feelings, suppressing them, never revealing them, knowing how sinful they are, certain that there is just something WRONG with me. So, OK, hating that I have these experiences, but at the same time LOVING the experiences themselves. Confusing, I know. Loving how they thrill me, but ashamed that they are able to. Jack was my platonic boyfriend from when I was 14 till we got married. And you know what? Even from those earliest days, when The Wave hit me, if Jack was with me at the time, the impact was like TRIPLED.

All my life I have know and accepted and sincerely believed that there was One Man out there, meant for me, and once we locked on to each other, our destiny would be set. I knew from the moment we met that Jack was IT, and I was so ashamed at my uncontrollable response to other men that I couldn't wait to get married, and finally put all the confusion of The Wave behind me.

Sex with Jack is fabulous, and we do it a lot. Our conservative, church-centric backgrounds are similar. But with marriage we were both more than ready to cast off our virginity and give ourselves completely and exclusively to each other. I never told him about The Wave and my confusion, confident that it would slip gracefully into the forgotten past. My only secret.

Didn't work. Even at our WEDDING RECEPTION, for heaven's sake, I got into a casual conversation with one of Jack's uncles, and The Wave coursed through me. That night, absolutely consumed and thrilled with my first experience of unrestrained, enthusiastic SEX, I thought, of course, THIS will put an end to the torment.

Didn't work. No change. And here I am, sitting beside my husband, loving him HARD, while I reach for the outstretched hand of an older stranger, and feel the familiar, unwanted thrill soar through me as our fingers touch, and his eyes drill into my core.

We are on an end-of-season repositioning cruise from Tasmania to Genoa, with several ports of call along the way. An older, tiny cruise ship, We didn't want that crazy "party boat" experience, so this is perfect for us. We are in the dining room for our departure brunch. Seating is assigned, and "Perce" is introducing himself as our table-mate. He's a big, rangy guy, 40s-ish, engaging, outgoing and seems happy. Both Jack and I are a bit more reserved ... Well, OK, we are a couple of naïve kids compared to the clearly ADULT Perce.

I'm a petite (about 5 feet and 100 pounds) redhead, but wirey and athletic, and quite strong, actually. The weirdest thing about my body is my breasts. They are very modest, barely adult mounds, probably A-cups, but I don't even own a bra. But my nipples are SHAMELESS. Big and thick and protruding and dark, and when The Wave hits me, like now, they really flaunt themselves, swelling up and screaming "look at us!". Like they are now! THROBBING so hard they make my head spin.

Jack loves my "tits". At first I thought it was a rather naughty word for him to call them that, but now I kinda like how he accepts and enjoys their naughtiness by calling them "tits". He loves when I wear tight, sheer, light-colored tops that show my nipples off to him. We have never even mentioned the possibility of other men seeing (though of course they do). Jack is utterly non-jealous and seems unconcerned if not unaware. I never show interest in other men, and am an expert in suppressing any sign of The Wave passing through me, so Jealousy would be absurd. And Jack has never shown any inclination to proudly "show me off" to others.

The three of us chat away amiably. Eating and relaxing, telling our stories, enjoying the interaction. Perce asks about us, how we met, etc. We ask about his "status", and he tells us without hesitation, "I've never been married. People are different, and I mean no disrespect, and clearly marriage is the perfect path for you, but I have never believed in marriage, at least for me." We left it at that and went on to other topics, but I was a bit stunned. It had never occurred to me that anyone would not WANT to be married. For me, it had always been an immutable truth that a monogamous union was the natural destiny of every person.

As we finish up, Perce congratulates me on being married to the most interesting man he had met in a long time (we had drilled deep into an analysis of chatGPT) and he congratulates Jack on being married to not just the brightest, but the most alluring girl on the boat. I think we both blush a bit at that, and of course I show no reaction as a dozen 40 foot Waves crash over my shores. My nipples are not so subtle, and as I feel his gaze stroke across them, The Waves swell up to 50-footers. ALLURING! Really?! ME?

Jack and I explore the boat a bit, then wind up sprawled in a couple of deck chairs right at the back, watching the wake through the rail, watching the sea birds thrashing and diving. Late summer, Southern Hemisphere, Hot and it will be light till 10 PM. People wander past. Everyone friendly, saying hello. Jack is in his loose shorts, his ... err ... equipment clearly outlined. I tried thinking about The Wave from his point of view. Other women come by, obvious check him out ... does he feel it? Does he like it? There is no doubt that he is totally MINE. But then I am totally HIS, and I love feeling The Wave. Interesting ... I think it wouldn't bother me if he feels it, enjoys it.

Our conversation wanders around, inevitably drifting to our new friend. "Perce called my wife 'alluring', Andi ..."

EEEEEK! - this is the first reference EVER between us to another man noticing me. But then it's also the first time another man has ever said something so "forward" to me, let alone in Jack's presence.

"Was that inappropriate?" I ask, "did it embarrass you, even make you angry?"

He's quiet for a moment ... "No ... no ... no ... , it is true, you know ... you are in public ... you are breathtaking ... We are "different", you know, probably from everyone else in this boat. All our lives we've been consistently taught that there are entire areas that must never be thought about, let alone mentioned, that for everyone else are all just ordinary experience. And the three of us were having such an honest conversation. For Perce, it's probably totally normal for a man to complement another man's wife. He has no idea that in our world of strict rules it would be taboo for him to notice. If that's what he is feeling, why conceal it? It's not his job to protect us from an obvious truth. I love that you are 'alluring', and that you are at ease with it, and that you are mine. If I thought he was trying to take you from me, come between us in some way, that would feel different. But saying that in front of both of us, just so out there and open, it just seems wrong to read into it more than what it plainly was - just the truth. How did it make you feel?"

Oh God - we are in uncharted territory here. We have never had a conversation like this. Do I tell Jack about The Wave? "The truth is I loved hearing it - it just felt like sincere compliment. My only hesitation was if it hurt you somehow - but from what you just said that would be ridiculous, so I think we are both OK with it. Of course men notice me. I think every woman enjoys being appreciated. It's an uncomplicated reassurance of her femaleness." OK. There. It's out there now, in so many words, my first open admission to Jack that I respond to male attention.

"Yep".

I'm in a short, tight, tissue-paper-thin, little white T-shirt, and my bright green bikini bottoms. I never bother with the bikini top. With my tiny tits it would just gape open, bent more on revealing than concealing. So I always wear some shirt thing, like this. At home in our pool we always swim naked. Big fence, total privacy. I look down and notice my legs, casually, unselfconsciously spread, one knee folded back against the seat. I realize I am rather openly displayed. Peeking out all around the edge of green is a thick tuft of my carrot-orange pubes. A shocking color contrast to say the least. It's all Jack's fault again. I have dense, wide spread bright orange bush, and he loves it. I know most women with my ... err ... condition would at least trim, but Jack begs me not to. And if it doesn't bother him that others see, why should I care? If he loves it so much, it's a small gift for me to surrender its "management" to him. Again, never a thought that he is "showing me of". This is strictly for HIM.

Perce wanders by, "Hi again, new friends Andi & Jack." Jack reaches into our little cooler bag and holds up a cold one "Hey Perce - unless you are headed somewhere, join us." The available deck chair is beside me and with a "Thanks, Jack", he accepts a cold stout and plops down. The Wave, delicious, floods over me. I don't self consciously close my legs, or pull my arms down from where they are stretched above my head. As he squirms around getting in position, yep, there it is, loose and flopping around in his thin shorts, the folds settling around it, casually revealing its flaccid length and thickness. Wave after Wave, crashing relentlessly along my over stimulated shoreline.

Staring out at our wake, and taking a long pull on his cold, dark stout, Perce says softly, "This is a good as it gets. No amount of money could possibly improve on the experience of the three of us, sitting here together, at this exact place and time."

"It's perfect" says Jack.

"I love this", I agree.

Jack adds "Our conversation just syncs effortlessly onto the same frequency."

"Is Perce short for 'Percival'?" asks Jack.

"No, actually it's Perseus, of the Greek myth"

"EEEEEEEK" I scream! "I don't believe it !!" Perseus turns and stares at me, totally baffled by my outburst. He looks over at Jack, who is smiling broadly.

"So what do you think 'Andi" is short for?" Jack asks.

"NOOOOOOO!" cries Perseus [yes, 'Perce' is herewith retired!] .... "Andomeda???"

"The Same!" jack and I say together, laughing. All of us are stunned at this improbable coincidence. I have never met another Andromeda, let alone a Perseus.

"I know the story", Jack says to Perseus, "but you have to promise to give her back" he laughs. "Quite OK for Perseus to come upon the beautiful Andromeda, tied to a rock, and certain to die in the jaws of the terrifying sea monster, and for you to smite the monster, to rescue the girl, and to carry her off. But 20 minutes later I want her back, please."

We all laugh, but privately I know we are all vividly playing out the story in our minds. Delicate little Andromeda, offering herself up to this powerful hero who springs to her rescue out of thin air.

I go on, "We should tell you, Pers, that we come from a rather different world from everyone else on this boat. Our entire community back home is conservative, Christian, and quite strict. Outsiders are viewed with suspicion, and the expectation that they are vaguely evil for not believing all that we do. We have travelled, but always in our own little 'bubble'. We've never been in a setting like our recent meal, where neutral circumstances (no one contrived the table assignments) simply drop us into an extended visit with an 'outside stranger', over which we have no control. You can imagine our apprehension, followed rapidly by our joyful surprise. ESPECIALLY, in our world, another man would never permit himself to notice, let alone mention that he found another man's wife 'alluring'. We've been discussing this, and while we know we "should" feel outraged, the simple truth is that we are both delighted. So please understand how we must be struggling to reconcile all the conflicting thoughts and feelings bouncing around inside us."

WOW! - Probably the longest speech I've ever made in my life, but the realization is so strong that even though I have no idea where this is going, I just KNOW that with Pers as our catalyst, Jack and I are about to escape from the one disabling secret that has trapped me in self-denial my whole aware life.

Jack says, "Instead of awkward, the way we three relate just feels easy and fun and, OK, a bit exciting. Definitely NEW.

Pers chuckles, "Thank you both for being exactly who you are!" After a pause he goes on, "I'm probably about twice your age, and through my years of experience I've learned a lot about how people relate. I know about your world, and it's restrictions. It's not all bad - it brought you two together, and you are simply beautiful as a couple. But there is so much more to the human experience that your world denies you."

"Tell us more, Pers", Jack says quietly.

"I' know this is a first for you two. Your first experience of feeling the intensity of the 3-way connection that we have all somehow created together" begins Pers. "And really, it's more 'discovered' than created. None of us did anything to make our shared relationship so easy and fun. It just happened."

My little heart is is beating out OMG OMG OMG. OK - I'm gonna go all out here ... "For me a it's piece of the puzzle clicking into place, and I didn't even realize that there WAS a puzzle till you said that. I've had hints of this before, in other situations, but I always just thought there is something wrong with me. It never occurred to me that others, especially other men, might experience the same."

Jack says - "You know, I've sorta had these feelings before, when I could tell that another man was 'appreciating' Andi, and feeling that positive, 3-way connection even if just for a moment, and wondering if they felt it too. But then I would 'come to my senses' and just dismiss it as me being weird. It's astonishing to realize that Andi and I have both had these feelings, but been to ashamed to mention it to each other. How silly is that!?"

EEEEEEK - IS THIS MY HUSBAND SAYING THIS !!!? That he has had these same feelings, and suppressed them through guilt, just like me !

"Like when Sam [An older collegue of Jack's] comes over", continues Jack, "I'm very 'aware', but like you, I would never say anything, cuz I think it's MY problem. Pers, somehow, you are the catalyst that lets us put into words, for the first time, what we are all feeling."

Oh be still my heart ... SAM! ... when the 3 of us are lounging out by the pool, me in my showy little bikini bottoms and soaked-to-full-transparency top, I fell Sam's confident gaze sweeping casually back and forth across my screaming tits, and I must plunge frequently into the water, to hide my soaked panties, and my shame, at how obvious it is that my sinful body is responding to and readying itself for another man.

Pers goes on, "for 100,000 years people have experienced this dynamic - a strong willed woman surrounded by two very male men, one her 'partner', the other an 'outsider', spontaneously connecting, feeling drawn together. It's not universal, just like with couples, it has to be the right three people, but it's not uncommon. Influenced by your 'World', society puts endless energy into suppressing it, and teaching us it's WRONG. But the truth is that it's natural and beyond our control. It feels Primitive, powerful, and totally positive. And really, I've done nothing to catalyze this realization in you two, other than just point out the simple truth - that what you both have thought all along was a 'sin', is actually normal, fun, and positive, and not anything you can change, anyway."

I'm breathless - He's describing THE WAVE, more beautifully than I ever could !!

"I'm watching your irresistible little body squirming around, and I know you are desperate to EXPRESS. Talk to us Andi" Pers commands.

Uh-oh. Fess up time. I have never been in a more comfortable, emotionally supportive position, so I steel myself, time to come clean.

"Jack? The foundation of our amazing closeness is total honesty. I have only ever had ONE secret from you, and I'm realizing it's the same secret YOU just revealed to me. It feels so right for us to make these confessions in the presence of a witness we have both come to trust." I gulp down a big slug of my stout, bracing myself. "Ever since puberty, every time I realize that an older man is 'aware' of me, this intense feeling has swept through me. I call it 'The Wave'. Pers calls me 'irresistible', and the Wave crashes over me. It's always powerful, but if you are with me, and I imagine the three of us sharing the moment somehow, then it can be overwhelming. Of course, just like you, I have always thought it was *ME* being sinful! The feelings and my response are completely out of my control, but during these 10 years I have become an expert in repressing any outward indication of the thrill crashing through me. While those feelings are intensely exciting and pleasurable, it has never occurred to me that they are anything but wrong, and sinful, and have always been ashamed that I have them. Not until a moment ago when Pers laid it out for us, did I ever consider that other women might have these feelings, let alone other men. It never crossed my mind that what I am experiencing might be, well, NORMAL !! So there. Now you know!"

Jack says, "wow Andi - this is such an astonishing discovery for both of us, to suddenly realize we have been keeping this HUGE same secret from each other all these years. I love this deep, powerful energy in you, and I love how you express it. From now on, when we are out in public I am starting to imagine how different, and how much more exciting it's going to be for us, not hiding from each other but joyfully revealing our real selves to each other, joyful and free and honest for the first time."

"Feels good, huh?" says Pers.

I am so squirming under the gaze of these 2 MALE men, both of them stiff and obvious in their shorts. I stretch my arms above my head, arching and thrusting and showing off my TITS, being totally lewd and loving the freedom.

"I've never felt anything like this. And I love this feeling." I say.

We hear a chatty group coming along the deck, and even though our backs are to them, who knows what the group thinks -- two stiff, hard penises [still my only word for that organ] openly on display along with my thrusting, rigid nipples, dark and obvious and exposed through my nothing little top.

"Let's go up there", says Pers, gesturing with his head to a stairway behind us marked "Crew Only", and "secured" with a simple swinging gate. "There's a nice little deck up there. Only used when we are in port, a vantage point to control cranes loading supplies into the holds." We gather up our stuff, and in a flash we are at the highest accessible level on the ship, Private and isolated. There are three deck chairs up there, and we squish them together, a solid cushion for three. No gaps. Slightly inclined. Me in the middle, two men pressing into me. I'm squirming, spreading my legs as wide as they'll go, thoughtlessly sliding them over the bare male skin on both sides of me.

"The way you move your body" Pers says, "it's positively screaming at us. What is your ALLURING little body telling us, Andi. What is she feeling, and how does this experience affect her?"

Lord help me - here it is. An irresistible invitation to tell the WHOLE truth! I take a moment to gather my thoughts and steel myself with the courage to tell the truth. Finally. Out loud. And to a virtual stranger. In front of my husband. And coming to grips with the astonishing reality that this whole experience is drawing Jack and I so much closer, deep into that hidden dimension of intimacy that we never even knew existed. Sharing this moment with an intimacy we have never known.