Sally

I'll also have to ask him about the whole erection thing.

I think the afternoon with her grandparents solidified our relationship; Sally and I continued to spend most of our free time together. I was trying to let go and trust her more, but every once in a while, something would give me pause.

One afternoon, about a month later, we were at the mall. Sally went in some frou-frou store and I left her to browse a sports shop. It took me two minutes to decide the sports shop was a waste of time, I ended up sitting on a bench near the store where Sally was shopping to wait for her. Sally came out of the store just as some guy came walking by. The two of them stopped, gave each other a hug and kiss, not a romantic kiss, but still, a kiss on the lips. They chatted for a minute, hugged again, then went their separate ways.

Sally seemed slightly embarrassed when she saw me sitting nearby.

"Who was that?"

"A guy I know; his name's Andre."

"Someone you work with?"

"No, just a guy I met when I first moved here. He's always very friendly." She looked at me. "And no, he's never hit on me."

Then, two or three weeks later, I happened to overhear Sally's half of a conversation she was having on her cell phone. Sally obviously didn't know I was nearby.

"I know I'll have to tell him soon, just not yet, OK?"

"He saw Andre and me together a few weeks ago. Andre was his demonstrative self. I'm certain David saw him giving me a hug and a kiss. He's such a damn flirt."

"Yes, I promise. I'll come clean soon. Damn, I hope this doesn't screw things up; I really love him. I gotta go, David should be here any minute."

I waited a minute and when I came into the room, Sally looked nervous. What the hell is going on?

Sally was going out of town for business the following day and I needed time to think how I would approach her about this; I also didn't want to start an argument if she was going to be gone the next four days.

While she was gone, I tried to plan my next steps. Friday night, I received a phone call from Sally.

"David, my flight gets in late Saturday. I'm beat and need to get some sleep before I see you. I'll come by your apartment for brunch Sunday around one, OK?"

"Well, I miss you and wanted to get together; but I'll see you Sunday."

I'm ashamed to say it; but now I was going crazy with doubt. I rented a car and just after her plane was due to land, planted myself near her apartment building in a corner that wouldn't arouse suspicion. I watched as the taxi dropped her off. Sally walked into her apartment; it was just after nine pm. I sat and watched for another three hours - nothing. I set my cell phone for seven am and slept in the rental. At seven, I woke. Sally's car was still there and there weren't any cars parked nearby that weren't there when I fell asleep at midnight.

I had to pee like a racehorse and took the chance to run over to my apartment three buildings down to empty my bladder. Ran back to the rental and kept up the surveillance. How do cops do this shit?

Finally, at ten, Sally got in her car and drove off. I followed her until she parked in front of a townhouse building. Sally got out of her car, walked to the front door and knocked. The guy she called Andre opened the door, gave her a kiss and hug, then led her in.

Enough of this shit! I was pissed! I thought we had an agreement! I got out of the rental, slammed the car door so hard, I'm surprised I didn't break the window, and marched up to the door, banging on it with my fist, shouting, "Sally!"

Andre answered the door, Sally was right behind him wearing one of those smocks that covered her shoulders.

Everyone was staring at each other, wondering - what the fuck?

Finally, Sally broke the silence, looking at me with what I can only describe as fear and started to plead. "David - I missed my regular appointment this month and my roots were showing and Andre was touching up my roots before you saw them and I'M NOT A BLONDE!"

I thought the poor girl might start crying as she got louder. From inside the townhouse, a big guy came to the door and looked at the three of us. "Andre, what the hell is going on?"

"This is Sally's boyfriend. He obviously has the wrong idea of why she's here."

The big guy was snarling at me; but spoke to Andre. "See, this is why I hate when you have clients in our home. Sunday is supposed to be our day and you 'just need to do her a favor' and now we have everyone in the neighborhood wondering why the gay couple have two people disturbing their Sunday morning screaming on our front stoop."

I took the smock off Sally, opened my wallet to give Andre five twenties (as I handed Andre the twenties, I asked, "that enough?", he nodded yes), told Sally to grab her purse, apologized to the big guy and told Sally to drive carefully to my apartment where I'd meet her.

"What about my roots?"

"Forget your roots. Just go and we'll talk somewhere more private and stop bothering these nice people."

Thirty minutes later, she was sitting at my kitchen table drinking coffee.

"Let's talk. What's all this nonsense about not being a blonde?"

Sally looked at me with wide eyes. "You've never dated a brunette."

That statement kind of threw me; so that's what this was all about, all this mystery.

"So, what were you going to do? Sneak off to Andre's every other weekend so I wouldn't know?"

"I thought maybe you'd fall in love with me and maybe then it wouldn't matter."

"I'm already in love with you and it doesn't matter. It's true I never dated a brunette until now, but it's also true that I never asked a blonde to marry me."

Sally looked into my eyes. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying we have some growing up to do and need to go into couple's counseling. I need to fix my trust issues and you need to fix whatever prevented you from just talking to me about your hair color. Then we can talk about marriage."

"Marriage?"

"Yes, I love you and want to marry you; but I'm not going to ask you to marry me until we do all we can to make certain we're going to stay married. Hell, we haven't even talked about kids yet."

"Did you say you loved me?"

I realized it was the first time I said it out loud. I'd been feeling it but was waiting for the right moment to tell her.

"Yes, I love you."

Sally jumped off her chair, sat in my lap, put her arms around me and gave me a toe-curling kiss.

"I love you, David. And I want at least two."

"Two?"

"Two children. How many do you want?"

"Two, or more, I guess. Do you have any photos of you as a brunette?"

Sally gave me a suspicious look. "Yes, why?"

"Get them. I want to see what you look like. How long have you been dyeing your hair?"

"About two months before I moved here"

Sally pulled out her phone and showed me a few photos. Damn, she looks good as a brunette.

We found a counselor and over the next few months we met with him once a week. Christmas was approaching and Sally's parents, Herb and Carol, were coming to town to spend it here in San Diego. Sally and I had flown out to Chicago for Thanksgiving, so this would be our second time together. Like Sally's grandparents, her folks and I seemed to get along. I was hoping it was true because I planned to ask her dad for his permission to marry her.

Their flight arrived on the 21st and the four of us were out having dinner. When Sally and her mom went to the powder room, I pulled out the ring, showing it to her dad.

"I'd like to ask Sally to marry me. Do I have your permission?"

Herb seemed pleasantly surprised I did the traditional thing by asking. He looked at the ring, raising his eyebrows, the signal he was impressed.

"Sally really loves you, she gushes about you all the time on the phone. You and I need to get to know each other better, but in the meantime, I'm going to trust my baby girl's judgement and say 'yes', you have my permission. When are you going to ask her?"

"Christmas Eve. Can you and Carol keep a secret 'til then?"

"It will be hard for Carol. I'll let her know tomorrow."

"Thank you. And thanks for trusting me."

On Christmas Eve, in front of Sally's family, I asked her to marry me. Sally barely got the words out, "Yes, David."

Herb and Carol flew back on the 27th. Herb and I did get a chance to sit down a couple of times and I think he went home feeling good about Sally's choice for a husband. Sally and I got ready for the second onslaught; her friends from college were due to arrive on the 28th for the Holiday Bowl game. Northwestern was playing Oregon and a dozen of her friends were coming in for the game.

I didn't anticipate Edward being among the friends that showed up.

"Did you know he was coming?" I asked Sally as we mingled at the restaurant where we met them.

"No, Janet said he didn't tell anyone. They found out when they were in the boarding area at O'Hare. He invited himself and his date to join them tonight."

I was anticipating trouble, instead Edward came over to introduce himself to me. He was polite, gracious and told me how lucky I was. "I won't embarrass my date by going on, but Sally is a special lady and I wish the two of you all the happiness in the world." He said it while shaking my hand.

I don't want to sound petty, but as I stood there looking at Edward, then his date, I had to wonder how this thin, not overly attractive guy scored not only the date, who was an easy 10, but Sally, another 10.

I found out the next day at the football game. Sitting with two of Sally's friends, Greg made a comment about Edward's newest 'hot' lady. I had to ask.

"Guys, Edward's obviously a nice guy, but both Alexa and Sally seem a bit out of his league. What's his deal?"

Greg answered. "Well, let's see. He's smart, he's nice, treats women like ladies, he has a seven-figure trust fund. What else?"

Tony started to laugh on my right side. "Well, there is that other thing." Now Greg joined Tony, laughing hysterically. This caught Sally's attention.

"What are you guys laughing about?"

"David was asking why Mr. Ed has such beautiful girlfriends."

Sally turned red. "Shut up, you two. Watch the game."

Greg and Tony stopped laughing. Greg said, "I'm getting a beer. Anyone want one?"

Tony said, "I'll go with you."

Sally came over and sat by me for the next quarter. At half time Sally went with the girls to the restroom. I moved over next to Tony.

"OK, what gives? What's with the Mr. Ed nickname?" Keeping my fingers crossed that it wasn't what I thought it was.

No such luck. Tony looked up to see if the girls were coming back. "You didn't hear it from me. According to his first college girlfriend, Edward's cock is nine inches long and slightly smaller around than a beer can. We ended up giving him the nickname Mr. Ed, which he hates."

Greg was listening and leaned in to add the coup de grâce. "Yea, we gave him the choice, it was either Mr. Ed or Rin-Tin-Tin because of that amazing tongue of his. How can one guy be so blessed to have a porn-sized cock and a tongue that can reach his eyebrows?"

Tony saw the look on my face. He slapped me on the back. "Don't worry about it. She picked you, didn't she? Rumor was he flew out here to propose and she told him she was in love with another guy - you. I wouldn't worry about the sex thing."

Right - what a comfort.

I did my best to play 'wonderful boyfriend' the rest of the afternoon and that evening until Sally and I returned to my apartment.

My 'wonderful boyfriend' act hadn't fooled Sally. As soon as we entered my kitchen, she asked. "They told you, didn't they?"

"Yes."

"I love you, David, and I love our sex life. His size doesn't matter to us."

"I'm a guy; that stuff matters. Answer one question, please. When he came out here, did you sleep with him?"

I've never seen Sally so mad. She took off my ring and put it on the table. Without saying a word, she walked out the door. I tried to stop her.

"Sally, I'm sorry. Please don't go. Please take back the ring."

She turned to me with tears streaming down her cheeks. "You're not ready to get married. We spent two months with the counselor and you don't trust me. That hurts."

OK, remember when I wrote earlier that the dumbest thing I've ever done in my life is cheating on my girlfriend while in college? Well, I had just surpassed that in total dumb-ass stupidity.

I don't know how, but I talked Sally into coming back in and staying with me that night. She slept in my arms, but of course, we didn't make love. We got up in the morning, Sally put my ring back on when we met her friends for brunch before their flight home. I promised to call our counselor first thing Monday to set up an appointment. Sally kept the ring on.

The second set of sessions really helped. For one thing, Dr. Jacobs explained to Sally how my reaction to learning about 'Mr. Ed' was fairly typical. Sally's response was intense; she looked me in the eyes and asked, "Have I ever given you reason to believe I'm not satisfied with our love-making?"

I had to admit I always thought it was as good as it gets.

"That's right, buster."

We started working on my trust issues again, digging deeper this time. Unlike the first go-around, I did a few one-on-one sessions with the doctor and I only then started to share some things with him. Things came up about my childhood and later adolescence. I mean, c'mon; how many parents leave their kid at seventeen and only see him once every other year?

By the time Sally rejoined the sessions later that month, I was on my way to understanding what was going on and how to deal with it. I have to say; it was encouraging how Sally worked to help me; her support was critical and we finally set a date for the wedding.

I want to tell you how much I've grown with both Sally and Doctor Jacob's help. It was one week before the wedding, we were receiving gifts from our friends who couldn't make the wedding here in San Diego, especially quite a few from friends of Sally's in Chicago. A package arrived addressed to me and came to my apartment. It didn't have a return address; but it would most likely have a card inside. I waited until Sally got home from work before opening it. There was a gift-wrapped package inside with a card. The card simply said, "In case Sally misses it." Sally opened the gift wrapping, screamed, "My god" and dropped the box. I picked it up - it was a king-sized dildo.

I started to laugh. Sally was appalled. "Throw it out."

I took the thing out of the box and held it up. "You sure? There might come a day when you wear me out and you need a little bit more."

Now Sally was laughing. "Define 'a little bit'."

I decided not to press my luck and it ended up in the trash, well hidden under some fish parts from dinner. We looked at the card. "Do you think Edward sent it?" I asked.

"It would be so unlike him. I've never known him to do an ungentlemanly thing in all the time I've known him. Still, I did end it with him and took up with you; even though I left him before meeting you."

"We'll probably never know." But it turns out we did find out almost a year later. It was Greg who let us know one of the guys who attended the Holiday Bowl weekend, a guy named Zack who I never even talked to, was the one who sent the gift, hoping it would cause trouble. When Greg told us - he found out when Zack got drunk one night and spilled the beans - Sally had to stop and think about it.

"I only dated Zack once, I never even kissed him except on the cheek, and that was our sophomore year. Kind of creepy."

The best part of the entire episode? Sally was very pleased with my light-hearted reaction to the 'gift'. To reward me, the night after it arrived, she performed some sex acts she was saving for our honeymoon. She'd be embarrassed if I told you everything; but I'll brag a little: it involved lingerie, a lap dance, whipped cream, handcuffs and heated oil.

That was five years ago. Our first child, Amy, a daughter we named after Nanna, is two. Tomorrow, we go in for Sally's twenty-week ultrasound to see how the second pregnancy is going. We'll probably know the baby's sex if we choose. We didn't with Amy; but Sally is hoping for a boy this time and I don't know if she'll be able to stand not knowing until he or she is born.

Me? I'm simply happy paddling downstream. It's that good.