All Comments on 'Sarah of Salem'

You can read this as a fairy tale or a metaphor and some might read it as reality. whatever it is? For me it was new and refreshing, I enjoyed it, thank you.

I found it interesting, but also felt like there is more to the tale.

What is the twist where she regrets how she betrayed him…

Very interesting premise, but the story just fizzled out.

Good story… needs more to me. Thank-you

I enjoyed the Halloween inclusion, but wish there was more. Did she try to scrye for him, is that why he kept seeing her eyes? I imagine all his moving around won't have helped his love life.

Interesting story. And well written.

I hope he DID destroy the baby teeth. It would be his only possible revenge.

Sarah is evil. Not necessarily because she is a witch but because of how she behaves. She, apparently, caused a competitor's father to be seriously injured. She shows no remorse for her actions concerning her children. She is a person who takes what she wants just because she can and damn any other consideration.

It was confusing as to what she needed Will for? He wasn't needed to father children. He wasn't needed for love. He was a useful tool, probably easily replaced. A mouse that the cat is toying with?

Part of the interest in these stories is the bad person getting their just desserts. That doesn't happen here. Instead, the reader concludes with a feeling that Will is still being hunted. It's a horror story. Timely for October.

Like others I feel it's only part of the story. I enjoyed it but felt the end was rushed.

The start was promising, but that ending was too swift.

Only part of a great story.

Freaky 00 byt nice; 5*

I agree with Jasonnh. Why does she need him? Why does she want him? He is good with kids? She needs a “beard”? Something more mundane or more profound? The ending is too quick for me. If she loved him, she would want him and work to get him back. If she didn’t, why go after him? She chose him. Why? Why back when she and he were six? What made him special? What makes him special today? This is the start of something very cool. It is an alien mindset for sure, yet reason has its season, even if it is Halloween. Can you figure out the puzzle you created? Thank you for the entertaining read.

Imaginative, very well written and a complete story as-is. 5*, easily. Still . . . there's definitely room for more if you chose to explore it, and a Chapter 2 where they meet again would be interesting and welcome.

Haven't scored because as others have said, it feels only part of the story!

What was so special about him for all those years? Did she just need a father for her offspring, or did she actually love him? Feel anything for him? Did the kids feel anything or did they just humor him?

Plus the end makes he's whole life feel so sad, moving from place to place forever, alone until he dies!

Great Halloween story - best I've read by far! Only "extra" I would have thrown in is burning the house down. 5.0*

I have always enjoyed Halloween Parties the most. Ahhhhhh However I can really understand the MC horror to see his wife in a big orgy! LOL I don't know how he didn't break it up! Heart Breaking. Thanks, Buster2U

Will eventually settles down with a good woman in Salem Oregon. Turns out her family are Witch hunters. In the future, Will's children hunt down Sarah's evil offspring and destroy the entire coven.

This is a great start to a story with several chapters.

Unrated

This is a supernatural story. Perhaps NonHuman, but whenever SciFi or similar aspects,

such as magic, is a fundamental base of the tale, it belongs in that category. A witch fucking a warlock in view of Hubby is NOT cheating by their rules. And not explaining the wizardly rules to Hubby (to the degree allowed) before matrimony to a ‘regular’ human would be one method to keep them together. Not sure why Hubby falling off the roof (pun intended) was inserted into this offering.

Addendum

A big omission IMHO was that benefits of being a witch was only clearly offered to We-The-Readers when Sweetie indicated to Hubby that she could fix a critical loss (kid’s teeth) if he would look in her eyes. At the same time, WTR can determine Sweetie could not detect a mere human’s lie! If I could pick supernatural powers, lie detection would high on my shopping list … just after being irresistible.

This one needs more chapters.

[14.10.23]

Excellent start...????

FTDS!

Terrific story, thank you! Not sure if you need additional chapters but if you do, I look forward to them.

Interesting story but it isn't complete. There have been similar tales dealing with magical families or cults, hubby finds out,etc. The problem here is he has the wife served, then disappears and that is that. What happens to him? Did Sarah love him ? Was he just convenient? The way it ends she is emotionless other than hearing about the teeth.

In real life a witch would never do something like this ( I am referring to the old religion ,not witches as Hollywood presents them) . Doing this to him non consensually violates various beliefs:)

Good beginning!

4

Damn!! WOW!! Great story!! A continuation would be nice but the story does stand on its own. Thank you.

Could have used a bit more to resolve the outcome, but certainly very well told.

Bewitching. 5 scary stars

After her I'd marry a black Jewish lawyer and have lots of kids and raise them to be Witch hunters. We'd travel the country in a van. Hipsters in the PNW will teach them irony. And they will get their mother a sovereign citizen bumper sticker since she had to deal with many of those types back before she quit her job when I filled her head with wild stories of witches and warlocks and how we need to kill them. But not because I'm against spells and potions. Hell, the main way I'd support my family would be by slinging rhino horn boner pills on the roadside. That's pretty much a modern day potion. No, they all must die because my ex is a bitch. And because she knows spells it stands to reason she can shapeshift like Star Treks Odo. So I couldn't just kill her if I wanted to be certain. I'd have to kill all the witches and warlocks.

==

Between homeschooling lessons we'll teach them the quickest way to kill witches and warlocks. By shooting them in the head. In Cherokee country we'll befriend a Chief that will teach them his peoples ways of tracking. And in the middle of the night we will leave without telling him because I had written some bad checks after having my rhino horns seized by Tribal police.

==

My wife being the former lawyer remembered that not only Massachusetts is an at-fault divorce state but also adultery is a felony as well there.

==

I left Mass a Cuckold. And I would return with a younger hot lawyer wife that makes me call her the n word during rough sex and she said its okay when it's only us but still it's really fucking weird and I was so uncomfortable saying it the first time I cried which killed the mood.

==

Also, I'd have a squad of fucking half black Jewish home schooled witch hunters. Like Blade but cooler.

How does the husband BTB when she is a witch?

_

I suppose destroying the baby teeth is all the satisfaction he can get.

Unfinished story....

Solid supernatural take on this (mostly fairly tired) genre. 4*

Nice story until the end.

Sweet, but much too curt. As said before this comment, there is more to the tale, and more after it

Damn, other2other comments are as ridiculous as his stories. Man literally sees no other trope than btb

Very creative and different. Great Halloween story. Nice to see that in Literotica which all seem to be the same.

Needs another chapter. 4*

Interesting but feels lacking. No real exploration of the intermix of love and witchcraft just events.

Thanks for sharing...

I wanted to give you higher marks, but the story is so underdeveloped. Shame really I was enjoying the read.

The story is well written. So thank you. But why was the husband so much of a doormat? All those years of his wife going off on Halloween, initially alone then with all the children, and doormat boy never says "I'm coming along as well". I mean, how dense could he possibly be? He said they had a "close family, doing everything together" but that wasn't true. He was delusional.

Did you get tired of writing? It seems unfinished.

@LenardSpencer: I mean, she was a witch. She had him under a spell, which I guess could qualify him as suffering delusions. Took a concussion to snap him out of it, so it must have been fairly powerful.

Good seasonal read, Addams family strikes loving wives!

A fresh tale for sure, seasonally apt as well. But I felt a very rushed ending. Maybe more to come?

Could have been an interesting and good story, it had a lot of potential. Unfortunately, the way it ended pretty much made it a waste to read. What a disappointment. Too bad, it was very promising.

Lacked emotion

this could have been a good story, but it was about a page and a half short. 3*

Damm this needs another part, please add another chapter if you can?

Great googly moogly, I want more.

-

Be well!

Half a plot at best

Good story and I don't know how you could have made more of a meal of it (not a writer) but it ended too quickly. Well done what there was of it.

Loved the story. I hope there is another part to it. 5*****

thats it? she cheated so I ran away?

half a story gets half a score

Stupid story…the question of why was he even needed? Chimera writes like an ass!

"showers that went frigid if anyone flushed a toilet" - Showers get hot, not cold, when someone flushes, because the flushing diverts cold water.

\

FTDS

Very well done- an excellent Halloween story.

Sometimes stories need a follow-up; this is not one of them. 90%, IMO, of actual horror is _not_ knowing what's going on, of _not_ being able to figure out 'why?'

1 star - for a very average Halloween story, but the horrid orgy scene with the bloody body was waaaay beyond acceptable. Why did she even bother getting married to him in the first place, when he was so superficial to their relationship?

opefully, your next story will be better.

Fantastic! And I mean that in multiple senses of the word.

One day when sarah feel sorry, how will she apologize or make amend? Or it never happens.

Wrong category, should be in Fantasy/Science Fiction. There was no Loving Wife, there was no adultery, there was no normal marriage. It was all a Fantasy story about witchcraft. Which means it makes no logical sense. And as many must realize, there was no Witchcraft. What spells were cast, what great beneficial magic was performed? What was the fucking point of being a witch? Just silly and contrived, with no meaningful or compelling plot. At least she should have bewitched him into believing he was a sex God, and her orgasms were the best possible. Yeah, just stupid.

Gotta agree with a lot of the comments left here, author:

Good story, BUT you started something. And you should finish it.

Don't know if you can knock a Part 2, featuring Sarah's perspective, before Halloween... but, if you can pull it off, please go for it!

Would love a follow up or series.

It is a great half-story, actually, it's more like one quarter of a great story. He needs to gather a team of witch-busters to go back and break their power. Or something. He needs to come out on top, shame that whole side of the family, make them a laughingstock.

.

5 stars, but it's incomplete. This has the potential to be an all-time Lit masterpiece... if you work on finishing it. And you're probably the only one who can. Thanks for posting.

In the beginning wondered why she accepted his request.

He treated her badly.

The start was inviting.

The end disappointing.

LOVE slap-hapy-papy #9

This my second rant.

It ended like the author no idea we’re to go from here ( the ending).

LOVE slap-hapy-papy #9

The house would not have allowed it

A nice fairytale. Exactly like the tales spouted by all the religious nutbars of every faith.

If she believes in the old ways, then so should he; suffer not a witch to live. Great story

You're on to something, but the story needs to be rewritten and sharpened. This reads like a rough draft, albeit an incomplete one. Get someone to beta-read the finished product. Kudos for breaking out of the LW mold. 3 stars.

4 stars for an imaginative tale. However, it feels unfinished DMW aka

This was a fine Halloween loving wives genre tale. My only suggestion would have been to have had a further confrontation, to see that the witch had suffered a real loss.

1/2 half of the story. no score at this time.

One more chapter please

Creepy, but without a doubt, one of the best Halloween stories published here so far. It was a pleasure to read it and I realize he better scape and run away from Sarah and her children while he can. Masterfully developed. Thanks a lot for the story.

This very much different tale, since is clearly out-of-place, lacks just one thing: the final Burn The Witch, a huge hot flame to make the witch house a pool of ashes. Not a bad tale, but not LW.

Interesting story but not much of an ending.

THANK YOU for the story!! Why would Sarah need a husband? I didn't see where she explained why she needed him.

That was a great Halloween story.

Nicely done. It's complete on its own until you decide to write more

Liked the story. Very strong Halloween themed LW tale…nicely written with good(e) characters. Unlike other commenters, I feel like you’ve effectively closed the story with no need for further chapters, in my opinion.

I think there's room for another chapter!!

So why marry the guy? Why not one of those “better” warlocks?

.

3 ***

Story

Good story. Her side would be interesting.....soes she find him? Why did she marry him? Did she love him or was he a prop? Lots of room to run here but also good on its own.

Oooo…. Sweet story! Thanks for writing!

Ouch! He really was bewitched!

Need a follow up/sequel; answer some questions form Sarah's point of view?:

Why marry the guy, instead of one of the warlocks? (As was mentioned in another comment).

The house was in her family, she didn't really need him specifically for any reason so, why???

Why not have at least one of the children be his (having her show at little compassion towards him), and add some irony; the child becomes more of a powerful witch/warlock than siblings; just to undermine her logic...

What a bitch....... LOL

I agree whit several other comments in the end. Why Sarah needed him? Infatuatuion, a desire for normalcy maybe? In the end it doesnt matter she manipulated all his life, and he is only begins to realize that.

Yeah, i agree, this was somewhat short on motives or character development, it could be longer 2-3 pages and leaves many things in the air. Namely about why Sarah keep him around if in the end she doesnt need him to preserve the "bloodline"

I'm as shocked as the main character. I'd dissappear too.

Alrighty then....................

No consequences to ANYONE? Why did Sarah marry him in the first place?

5 stars from Xluckylee

I don’t know how I missed their series but ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Great start to the story. Thanks.

1 star because the bitch didn't suffer any downside at all and the MC didn't even get a real family or real children in the end. What a depressing story.

Enjoyed the story, looking for more. Thanks for your writing.

You moved to California! Are you crazy? I bet there are more covens there than any other State in the nation. Of course they probably can't trace their ancestry back to Salem. Was this an All Hallows Eve submission?