All Comments on 'Satan's Little Helper'

This story is very well written! The characters are well developed. It is a well thought out story, but as a Christian I have problems with the premise. Even so, I like this one!

Cleanly written, novel premise, nice twist. Please ignore the offence that will surely be taken by some self-labeled "Christians". Most of us have noticed how conveniently that label is being used to motivate injustice, hypocrisy, corporate greed, numerous behaviors that Christ hiimself strongly opposed ... and the disabling of brain cells. If there is one supernatural being, why shouldn't there be more than one? And if one of them takes interest in "mortals", why couldn't others?

...

I loved this - it was hot and very well written, and the ending was pure genius.

I'm assuming, on the grounds of previous experience, that the rating of 0 was submitted by an objecting Christian. And in defense of your subject, I want to know what the hell a Christian is doing on this site if they're worried about Satanic cults. Where did they lose track of their religious objections, before or after they went looking for sexually explicit literature? I cant believe that someone would bring you down because of misplaced religious beliefs.

Sorry about that rant, but I really love this story and want to see it receive the rank it deserves.

I'd have given this a full 100 if it had not been for the spelling and punctuation errors. The better the story, the more a "your" instead of a "you're" gets in the way of enjoyment. This one is so good that an apostrophe in the wrong place actually breaks, briefly, the "spell" that only good fiction can achieve.

But enough on that topic. This is one powerful, imagination-capturing, attention-riveting, narrative. From the song to the flat tire/dead flashlight/ missing jack/dead cell-phone sequence (nicely timed, totally inevitable, and completely necessary) to the ways in which we get the sense that Morty was a jerk right from the outset (what really cool Satanist would ever feel the need to use a phrase like "my child" during an abduction?) to the maginificent one-upping on Latin (though I seem to recall at least some of the phrases from a little book on Latin insults for moderns, or some such) the story really should be polished and included in a print edition somewhere.

Moreover, because of the way it has been set up, it just cries out for a sequel. After all, its heroine can now go home in any of a number of cars. Or fly. Or translocate. (And I'm sure, even in her transformed state, she's still concerned about her cats. Maybe even moreso.) And there is Kyle to deal with. And "the little slut." The whole notion of the devil in the workplace seems like it would be amazingly rich.

One final suggestion. There are some marked discrepancies in voice between the narrator and the voice in the narrator's head, particularly at the beginning of the story. The narrator is literate, uses complex sentences, makes interesting allusions, and sounds generally educated and observant. The thoughts of the disappointed young woman are completely different, even taking into account how angry and scared she is. Does the fact that she is now possesed by Satan account for this? Not likely, because Satan wouldn't be telling us this story, only someone who has struck a deal and can do Satan's work when needed. It wouldn't take much editing to make them a little more consistent.

Thanks for a superior read. This is one reader who looks forward to seeing Satan's Little Helper: Back at the Office.

This story really delivers, JimPet. As with 'Trick or Treat' you delivered a great story with a better than average twist worthy of M. Night Shamalyan (sp?) Screw those other 'so-called' Christian hypocritics and their negative comments...if they're so pious, why the hell are they looking at a porn site.

Write on, sister!

LordJames

P.S. Loved reading 'Carnival of Sin'. From one Lord James to another, i wish sometimes I was the Lord James in your story. Do you really do some of the stuff in your stories? I can only dream you do. ;-)

Some readers might not like the premise, I found some parts a bit too gory (erotic horror?). But this is a free speech site where almost everything is allowed.

I thought it was a well plotted Halloween read, well done

Intrigueing premise and clever plot. The subject matter was well presented and the dialogue crackled. Good luck in the contest.

I liked this story but please if you are going to write about possably offensive religeon ( I thought it was cool that they got their comeupance) you need to put in a bit more resurch. The Pentagram Is a pagan symbol used to simbolise the 5 elements Air Earth Fire Water and Spirit. It is used for protection and is a very positive symbol not to mention quite sacred to Pagans. Satanists and most horror films use the inverted pentagram. Also Satnism isn't the religeon most people would expect, I am by no means an expert on it but there are strick rules of conduct that forbid the harm of Animals, Children and the innocent. I say this as a Wiccan who would hate your stories to miss out on the praise they deserve through lack of background knowlage when the writting is so good. and yes I am aware that my spelling and punctuation are appalling, This is why I read and don't submit

Great sense of irony Good story!

Thank you for a great read

Danielle

Loved this story! Is it wrong that I got a perverse satisfaction when she showed them how "it's really done"? You're a good story teller. Thanks for sharing!

I'd recommand you to look into Luciferianism tho... Satan isn't all that evil and God not as morally just as He proclaim.

Plus, Satan/Lucifer most surely does not demand sacrifice, not even does hè enforce or requiem worship and adoration. Merely kindness.

You did do a good job at making him step in and slay those who abuse his name to do evil... That's what I love so much about the story.

AND WHAT A WONDERFUL ONE IT IS! WE REALLY ENJOYED THIS STORY AS SATANISTS AND BELIEVERS IN THE SIDE THAT CAME FIRST ----> THE DARK SIDE!

mmm i loved it ,,it took me into a darkness that i didn't know would excite me

Satan came in God's fucking mouth after he gave him a blowjob.