All Comments on 'Saturday'

Me encanta que las madres se dejen cojer asi de facil por los hijo... mas lenceria por favor. gracias

I rated it a 3. I suppose someone could take what is here and turn it into something?? I mean seriously intensify what exists and try and describe tits and genitalia in such a way that it keeps readers interested and reading. For example, she did not intend for me to see that fabulous hairy bush of hers. But after I did, neither of us could get it off our minds, knowing it had happened and also knowing each wanted things to advance a lot more and very soon. Do something with it, it has potential. Ask someone you know for help in --- turning this into a story! even if you don't get a story out of it, you probably will get to fuck the person you ask to help you. That would be worth something, say, oh, once per month with a different helper each time. Now, that would be a story if it happened, especially if the person you ask for help with writing is your very on hot and sexy mom or a sibling, and possibly their sexy spouse (M or F) helps you, out! or hopefully helps you OFF and more than once!!!!

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Hi,

I noticed this is only your 5th submission, so I do not want this to sound hard or difficult on you, a new and aspiring writer. However, in a real non-TV court room, one might hear an attorney say, "objection, fact not in evidence, when the following, intended to be a descriptive statement is made. "Adam had not cum yet, and Linda was still going up and down on him like an engine cylinder."

First an engine cylinder is stationary. It does not move at all. The cylinder does not go up and down. "FACT"-is, the fact in evidence, is a piston, the piston's (ranging from One single piston, to upwards of 8, 10, and even 12 pistons in some cars, are housed inside the cylinders (cylinder walls) of an engine. They, (the piston) are what go up and down. This is IN-FACT, a FACT IN EVIDENCE, quite a bit like how a thick rock-hard cock, hammers away inside the sexy tight walls of a muscular pussy / vagina. While we are on descriptive things, facts in evidence, as an aspiring author trying to get ratings from peers above 4.5, pussies should always, in almost every case (few exceptions), range between, trimmed, nearly trimmed, very hairy, and extremely hairy (write NO stories about nasty pimples from a recently shaved pussy, no silly pointless razor burn stories, no stupid and ignorant looking totally avoidable chaffed skin / peeling skin, dry skin, flaking skin into panties from shaving a day or so ago, total foolishness.) This shaved ignorance put in writing, is most often done by an unlearned aspiring author alleging the pussy to be a "smooth pussy" instead of dry sandpaper mound having disgusting pus oozing pimples with irritating stubble and just as NASTY LOOKING infected / ingrown hairs growing out of them (PIMPLES / BOILS) needing mashed before sex so it can run and leak pus during sex. When you allege a pussy is shaved, is smooth, is bare, your readers (WHO KNOW / HAVE TRIED THAT FOOLISHNESS A FEW TIMES BEFORE FINALLY LEARNING {TOO SORE TO FUCK} BETTER,) what happens two days after the shaving of the female genitalia MOST OFTEN stop, (READERS STOP READING) and move on to another story that does not produce the image of a shaved cunt with blister pimples and stubble growing in them), and read that / those stories and comment that they did exactly that (FACT IN EVIDENCE) and also explain they rated your story (SAHAVED with BOILS needing mashed, RATING of =1) low for that (shaved with pus oozing pimples, and raw ass pimples also oozing pus) exact reason. you have potential as an aspiring writer, PLEASE, do not write shaved pimples stubble and boils needing mashed stories!

Your story has potential. However, it seems as if English may not your first language. If this is the case, it may make things un-necessarily difficult for you. Possibly if you could find someone to assist you (tutor you in English), who would not try and steal your written works. YouTube had vids on English as a second language it that it the problem.

A whole lot of sex without a story line . . .

And even the descriptions of the various sexual encounters are mediocre at best.

PLEASE follow the suggestions of another commentor, they will improve your offerings.

How funny. The previous anonymous comment its longer then the story. Whit all that time and knowledge you should be the writer.

Totally wasted my time. 😒 1/5

Not bad, the sex stuff is pretty solid but a little more pacing and delineation between scenes would improve it a lot. Hoping to see more from you in future!