All Comments on 'Saturdays'

...a pretty good marriage overall. If she's never had an orgasm from hubby in at least 8 years what kind of communication is that. Ludicrous.

It is a shame that you didn't read the story through as some of the English is pretty strange.

For instance:

"There was a slight pause while I considered my next request. Once it was out, there was no coming back. I was dreading a bit her reaction.

But I jumped in. I explained to her my desire for the evening."

"there was no coming back" should say "there was no going back"

Both "I was dreading a bit her reaction" and "I explained to her my desire for the evening" are grammatically incorrect.

Need an editor.

Hubby does not deserve Maki, and probably would not keep her long after this except for their son.

Are both loosers and deserve a slit brake line .

have no sexual attraction to her husband of any kind.

The guy describes himself as sensual but has never given his wife an orgasm? Not very sensual in my book. Selfish pig maybe. Maki seems like she responds to good loving very well. The suggestion is that she is a lesbian but I wonder if she would respond to a guy who wasn't as clueless as her husband. No wonder Maki "didn't have a libido".

First the husband wasn't getting sex, so they came to a deal

After a while he wanted more from her. Ok. Now here's where is goes silly - he sends her out by herself to get laid!

So once again he's not getting laid, but the wife with no drive is!

Next we learn the problem is that the wife really is gay.

So in the end we find out they shouldn't be married, and likely won't for much longer. That the husband is an idiot, and the wife is a super passive cheating skank.

This story is more like the ranting of someone with some serious issues- though I'm not sure which as there are so many to choose from - than it is erotic.

There's no love, there's no eroticism, there are only two people who are about to have the marriage collapse and leave a litle boy without family. This isn't arousing it is very depressing.

Maybe redo it without the kid or husband. Just have a single, passive shy woman at a bar. You can write your lesbian fantasy and no one gets hurt.

The story should be written in the third person. The author switches frequently between first person and third person. Third person makes more sense because the husband would not know the level of detail in the club section of the story. Also, the author should have a native English speaker do the final edit to clean up awkward language. As to the plot, the husband and the wife both need more depth. The idea that the husband has never given his wife an orgasm makes him sound like a kind of clueless. The wife also seems hollow. I am now thinking that the story was written by a lonely singer German man in his twenties.

Please consider a sequel. Maki is an interesting character here that is now growing as a sexual woman. Show us how she develops and how her relationship with hubby evolves. Thanks.