All Comments on 'Scenes - An Anniversary Cruise'

i was so hoping it would go on even though it has a strong finish, good writing, good story telling, with good editing makes e just want it to go on and on lol. owell everything has to end sometime i guess, tyvm for the read :)

Buuuuuuuuuut, it was way too short. Ohio made sure that everyone was emotionally attached to the main characters in some way. This was not present, at least not to me. Really good attempt but it needed to be a little longer because I felt nothing for either the husband or wife. And the divorce came out of nowhere. This lacked tension and emotional content.

Great attempt. Ohio is a great author to emulate. Keep it up as I expect great things from you!

Best Wishes and Regards,

C

Her infidelity is an abstraction. Her actions, as he describes them, are horrible but are presented with little conveyed emotion. He seems more bitter than angry at this point.'. Perhaps its possible to evoke empathetic bitterness over the course of a novel but not with a brief story like this. His actions ultimately come across as petty and vindictive since he already knew the divorce would cause her pain.

I just feel vaguely sad now with nothing gained from my dysphoria.

Wish I had passed on this one.

Wow... cheating in the first year of marriage? What a whore.

Nice flash story.

For a short story well done.

well written well paced and credible dialogue. Maybe a second chapter to get the wife's side and her response?

Quite the curve ball!

Thankfully, I didn't look at the tags, so was completely surprised by the abrupt switch from romance to divorce. Actually, given the nature of the story, maybe tags should have been left off.

I don't get it. It was a form of revenge? He was very nice to her for a week? How did he treat her while dating and married? One would think he would be worried about disease, not to mention wasting money on a woman he will never see again. Where was the big titted secretary, or the wife's sister who loved him more? It just seemed like a lot of effort for the result. Call me crazy but if my wife cheats on me after a few months of marriage, I'm not interested in sex with her, traveling with her, or even being in the same room as her. I am not into self abuse. ("Family's" is not plural.)

I will read everything you post here. Your skill and imagination are superior. While this story didn't click with me, it was well done. Attempting to write like Ohio is admirable, but almost always doomed. That guy is one of a kind and one of the best, although I would never tell him that.

Thanks for sharing your work.

I like a good BTB, but I could never go on a cruise with someone I was about to divorce. That sounds like torture to me. Interesting, though.

Well written, brutal, engaging, and as far as I know, original.

Well written homage to a great story. Also great example of a complete story without pages of unnecessary background padding. I liked the counterpoints of a fantastic loving vacation while concurrently wreaking havoc back home.

It was well written and original, although I have to agree with some in that I don't think I could go on a cruise like that with a wife I was about to divorce. I do see why he did it though.

There is one big hole in the plot. Changing the password on her FB account would do nothing. All she had to do was click on the "I forgot my password" and FB would email her a temporary that she could then change to whatever she wanted.

I still thought it was well done and enjoyed the read.

Correct man. I owe him a drink whenever we meet.

5*

I liked it. But I want more. While I prefer a tightly told 1-3 page tale over a 14+ page epic, this felt a little rushed. I wanted a bit more description and a little more character development throughout so the end burning could have been even more impactful. That being said, ‘wanting more’ is barely a bad review.

Thank you for sharing!

Excellent short story. Short and sweet BTB.

Why would you go thru all that trouble for a cheating wife and you knew about her cheating for 6 months out of a marriage that was only a year old. Yet some readers cant read between the lines and are giving you a too high a score.

Wasted the time or money. Like the facebook thing. 5

I enjoyed the story, but find it laughable to think this guy think she wouldn't be able to reclaim control over her facebook account instantly.

Enjoyed your story very much. He had a great set up for the burn and he blew her up without a chance to even talk back. Why do the cheating wives always worry about the.lover's family? That's as stupid as saying "it was only sex, I love you". Another good one.

The premise is illogical and the intimacy poorly described.

Have style, guy!

Not liking the outcome doesn't make an author not great.

'Started to think about the logic behind the whole setup cruise, then something damned on me:

The MC didn't not waste his money; he wasted THEIR money.

There's not a whole lot of assets a couple can accumulated inside a single year of marriage; so it's probably a good bet that, whatever saving Chris and Linda had during their brief union was probably drained out after that week-long vacation. All the clothes, the bikinis, the unused sexy teddies; the plane and boarding tickets; the food, the booze and reservations to fancy places; hell, even that limo, at the end, didn't come cheap. Sure, the main idea behind the trip was to blindside the cheating slut and emotionally destroy her, but when she'll realize she'll gain very little from that 50/50 split... yeah, that's gonna hurt even worst - bad enough she lost 'her man', but she ain't even going to have a decent chunk of his money! Hard to say, though, given that we know very little from those two's professional and financial situations; but, given the very methodical way he acted here, something tells me Chris would have made Lisa sign a prenup, if he had as wealthy as he was acting like during the story. 'Probably would have to pay her some alimony, though... unless his blackmail threat covers that too. Overall... very clever, if that was the plan all along.

That being said, I have to agree with the opinion of most readers in saying that I couldn't imagine trying to pull off Chris' revenge scheme, even if it was indeed set up to waste away the community property - that's a whole lot of effort, emotionally speaking, for him to waste over a woman who turned out to be so worthless. In all honesty, I hope he really has done it to destroy their savings, 'cause, if it was truly to make her feel bad, I seriously doubt it managed to do so - it takes a very special kind of bitch to start an full-blown affair just 6 months into their marital status, and those kind of sluts aren't emotionally connected enough to genuinely be able to feel any pain over their actions or even their lost. I have no doubt Linda will cry a lot of tears over it all... but will they be genuine or will they'll be more of the crocodile variety? From the little I learned here about Linda, she's not into losing or sharing what's her; so I'm telling you: she'll be just as upset about losing a bigger share of their money as she supposedly is about losing Chris. If not more.

It's a good tale; but, like ohio's Scenes, it's definitely a very sad one. A concept worth reading, though, so if you, Style Guy, or any other writers feel the need to write so more, I'll definitely check it out.

Wow...she is cheating on him after 1 year of marriage? That is a pretty clear clue has to how much she "loves" her husband. I kind of figured out what was going on as I read it but that said I still enjoyed it very much. Thanks for the story.

"Buckeye Fan"

IMHO it needed the internal thoughts of the wife during the cruise, the restaurant scene and after the husband left. I think that always makes for a better story. Plus it would have added the extra length others, myself included, wanted to see.

Well written, short and to the point. What the critics don't get is that it's all about satisfaction. And our hero extracted a great deal of satisfaction from his revenge; both physically and emotionally.

The trouble that comes with writting such short stories is that it causes the critics to focus on the minutae, rather than the story itself.

It's your story, Guy, but I would have liked to have seen a tie-in between her wanting a baby and her being pregnant to her boyfriend.

Fine story, Mr. Guy. I remember Ohio's story: Show them the prize, then snatch it away. Top marks from me.

Ohio earned the praise, Annie. He wrote stories. Not crazed psychopaths and mass murderers, or humiliated fools, just people living their best lives. You should give it a try. Much more satisfying than being a dick on the internet.

Some people didn't like it. Perhaps they could form an orderly queue and wait for their refund as they leave via the rear doors? Thank you!

This story was also good.

iowa

And making us wade through the whole story to just have another wife bashing ending really sucks.

Your last story, if I recall correctly, had a similar theme.

Your early stories were very much different.

Have you gone, or are you going, some painful emotional shit in your personal life with a wife or significant other that has you in a rage and pain and wanting revenge?

Or, are your latest stories not autobiographical in the least?

Whatever it is or isn't, I prefer your earlier stories, but am sympathetic if your recent tales are in part or more autobiographical.

Great flash 5 star quickie - thanks.

this is the equivalent to kissing a pornstar in the mouth after she was sucking your enemy's dick, WHY? Why would you kill a whore with kindness? In the end your stilling paying.

Could you make a part with Linda’s POV detailing her affair.

I thought for certain she was pregnant by boyfriend. Nice story and well done.

For those saying that ohio only writes cuck stories, try reading the inspiration for this story!

Short and to the point. 5 stars

This story might make more sense if it was their 10th anniversary instead of their first.

I would think most couples together 10 years would have already had kids

A very enjoyable Flash story, Thanks again

Terrific fun flash story. 5 stars.

Cake without the frosting, but really good cake.

Easy read well done

She fucked around before one year had passed. Just think about what she would have been up to by the tenth? Who had she been doing during their engagement? Made perfect sense to me the way it is.

Not a lot of detail but she did screw around for 1/3 of their short marriage. Not a good sign for any future. Nice, short job!

T.T.

Betrayal deserves retribution!

I think he let her off very lightly. I hope he's as big a cheat as she is. One day after the divorce is final, the Facebook goes live!

not add her reply?

Fast and hard!

Thanks for the good read.

Once the Divorce is final .. I would still send out the pictures and Videos .. I am sure her Friends and Loved Ones would Love to see them ..

C'mon! She's been cheating for 4 months of a 1 year marriage. Why would he spend that kind of money on a worthless tramp? Better he hire an escort or find a girl friend then tell his soon to be ex-wife that he's taking someone else on his 1st anniversary cruise to celebrate their divorce.

How could he hide his feelings and pretend to enjoy himself with a woman he knows betrayed him within the first year of their marriage?. As for starting a family, I don't think there is a man alive who could have kept his cool in the face of her suggestion.

Just to contrived.

Ohio had it right on. Two average people watching their marriage crumble with no real hope of saving it. His protagonist was not out for revenge. The divorce was his way of beginning to make his pain go away. Much more realistic.

Anonymous 11/04/19 as it right.

Right to dump her,wrong to take the slut on cruise.

The last line should have read:

"I turned and hurried out the restaurant before venomous epithets spewed forth from my lips".

Facebook accounts are linked to e-mail accounts. It's a simple matter to request a new temporary password to be sent to your e-mail. I had to do this when Russians took over my page.

People don't get simple concepts.

He took her away and showed her what she had.

And what she had lost and would never have a

A very good flash story.

The ending wasn't such a surprise.

We were warned that something big

was going on, with all the messages

he got on his phone.

That was a clever part in the plot.

And fucking a beautiful woman

non stop on a cruise?

Poor guy ;).

Top ratings from me.

Did you stop to think he could have changed the recovery email address to? Given the LW genre and the hints about convincing her to leave her phone home and the 'emergency' call home messages he deleted most had to know what was coming. But no matter a good flash story regardless. Ohio and Randi are among my favorites, love it when she tweaks him into writing another one once in a while. Signed: BTW

Dramatic ploy indeed! Isolate her while her life is dismantled behind her back.

Speaking personally, I could not last four months living with a wife knowing she was having an ongoing affair especially after I saw the pictures. And I sure as hell wouldn't piss away the cost of a cruise on someone I will figuratively if not literally never see or talk to again.

Think about it. How much money was spent on their wedding less than a year ago plus the cost to set up their household? Then there's the PI cost to get the pictures. How about the attorney's fee? Divorce isn't cheap. I would be hard pressed to spend an extra dime on this woman.

Take her away for a weekend at a B&B. Or better still give her a gift of a day at a Spa just to get her out of the way so you can clean her belongings out of the house. OK. But waiting for an anniversary and a cruise? Not me.

The other part that always bothers me about LW stories, is the "we can get past this" plea. Really? A four month ongoing affair during a one year marriage and she has the audacity to suggest reconciliation? If she was honest, which of course she isn't, she would graciously accept the inevitable. Any sane human being would realize she doomed her marriage months ago. Now she's simply making a fool out of herself.

Although it stretched credibility, I still I liked the story.

I know this is crap because dinner for two at Fleming's in w htfd costs quite a bit more than $100! Lol.

Let's see. One call to Facebook cancels the account. Problem solved. But the real question? Is why spend all that money taking the bitch on a once-in-a-lifetime cruise? Can you say "stupid"?

... is that it is so incredibly believable. All on top of being so heartbreaking.

This, though an enjoyable story for the BTB standpoint, is not very believable. Him pretending to still be into the relationship for so long, and spending several thousand dollars for the cruise, just so he can thumb his nose in her face, though again satisfying, is totally unbelievable.

good writing but its to think im going to do anything nice for a cheating slut

Now I don't know Fleming's, but I know you need to read the story again. They never had dinner, just drinks. He hit her with the divorce papers right after drinks arrived.

All I can say is that this Chris Harrington fella certainly gets around, the amount of marriages and divorces he goes through you’d think he’d have learnt his lesson by now, some men are just gluttons for punishment. LOL.

You can tell how good the story is by the number of comments feeling bad for the cheating wife. Great story.

5 for this story. I liked it very much.

Short to the point, no big complicated revenge and no violence - works for me.

Quite the different ending to most of the stories on here, very good

Wow! That was one of the best btb’s I have read on this sight. I gave it 5 stars!

Thermonuclear BTB!!!!

I liked it. BTB and then some...lol

5 stars for the way the MC handled the set-up and divorce.

What I cannot really understand, or get my head around, is that they were only married for ONE year.

Seven or ten years maybe, but not the first year.

Very well written and and paced well.

Guy, that had style!

Norman Sands

Wow! Great story!

How could he stand to go on a cruise with the slut?

It took a lot of courage and dedication in focus for him to do what he did but what he did was brilliantly executed.

Written well,keeps a readers interest by being realistic.4 stars. I realise the cruise was the story line and a good one, but no 5 stars due to the fact

I am a husband and a man. The cruise would never would have happened.All the rest is pretty much what any Man would/should have done in real life.

JZK

Not bad... Light BTB.

Why fuck her at all, ever again, after he knew? Bleh. If he could 'teach her how good it was' with the skill he professes, she likely would have never strayed, especially after only a few months of marriage. What utter bullshit.

Why treat her to the cruise,just dump her stuff outside when she is at work.?

This pretty well sums it up: "You've been fucking that asshole for nearly half of our one year marriage, and you ask that questions?" No, divorce before the children come along is the only solution.

I get the cruise idea was to show her what life could have been like, but what a hell of a waste of money. I certainly would not want to put anything into any of her orifices that someone else had used. Yuck.

I had to suspend my disbelief a bit but it was a good story.

Could have pandered a touch more to BTB offering us her "chagrin" at seeing the pix... more consternation about her objecting to the man's wife being told. Her parents' reaction to learning.

Too short. Another unrealistic fantasy plan. Gee, if a normal man learns about cheating to this extent as described he would not be going on any cruise, wasting money, and sleeping with a slut. Shit, even when I was young I could not sleep with somebody I disliked, I really do not understand the LW cliche "my lower head took over" because it never does. The main sexual organ is brain and when that turns off nothing works.

The cruise seemed like a waste of time and money since he'd already decided to divorce her cheating ass. She was cheating on the husband for half of the year they've been married, just because he took her on a cruise and romanced her she not going suddenly feel remorseful if she wasn't already remorseful. Women recover and move from breakups far quicker then men do. Men love idealistically, women love opportunistically and a true mercenaries at heat. She'll move on quickly. She''l be on the clock to find a replacement dumb-ass to fall for her bullshit.

I think his actions were perfect. He demonstrated to the cheater if she wasn't so self centered/absorbed she and he could have worked out their situation and problems. This story more than any L/W story shows what the character and make up of a cheater really portrayed by a shallow somewhat stupid person. How could a any cheater go away and act like her if they were suffering beyond salvage? She wasn't. Christ after 1 year she spreads her legs and cheats...How pathetic. Does this really happen in real life? My guess is not often, however if we are to believe that spouses cheat on their own wedding day, then I guess anything can happen. Lastly I prefer this type of ending and like the concise nature of the story. Again they were married for 1 year...How long should the writer drag the killing of the vows...

It’s hilarious, that people have so little imagination that think this was unrealistic. A woman cut off her husband dick. A gynecologist sowed his ex-wife pussy closed and some how treating your wife to a cruise and having her served at a restaurant is unrealistic. Stupid is as stupid does. WOW. 5*****

Damn. That's not just roasted, she got carbonized.

5/5

[26.09.22]

Flippin' Brill!

Short 'n' Zpizey!

11/10!!!!!

Wow. What a classic revenge tale. What a slut.

TSG, please lookup “condonation of adultery.” Also, if she’s been doing cheating for months, and you they’re married less than a year, he would file for an annulment, not a divorce.

ZK

Good story. I agree with the previous commentor about condonation, mind you - if she chose to fight this, a judge would say their loving vacation was certainly condoning and forgiving the adultery, and if they were in a jurisdiction where the court can order counselling, a perfect example of a good case for it. Satisfying story, but he going to find it harder to get rid of his wife than this.

It's actually a crime to post 'porn' of people, even if you use their account to do it. And, it's pretty low, for someone claiming the high road.

Clearly, she wasn't ready for marriage and, to be honest, neither was he. I mean, if your marriage goes south so quickly, maybe there's some inadequacy on the husband's part: you married a slut without doing any due diligence. that's on the husband, not the slut.

"Shit, even when I was young I could not sleep with somebody I disliked, I really do not understand the LW cliche "my lower head took over" because it never does. The main sexual organ is brain and when that turns off nothing works."

Truer words were never spoken. Another commenter suggested this story was realistic. C'mon. it's not. What person actually wastes the time it takes to get married only to fuck around mere seconds after getting married? I mean, anything CAN happen, but it's pretty low probability on that. That said, if a person could do that, what made the husband marry her?

You're a [white] man, with a job. If you can't get pussy with integrity and that physically appeals to you, it's not the system at fault here.

Geez, with this logic, if she starts gangbanging, they are going to get a second mortgage and go on a renewal ceremony trip around the world.

I could barely afford my honeymoon, much less another 5-star trip a year later.

Nice story, but there is no way I would put my dick into that again. Who knows where it's been. I guess spending the money on a cruise is one way of lowering the net worth fir the divorce... I don't know, doesn't really seem worth it.

Being confirmed about wife's infidelity along with the pictures and videos as proof, how can someone take a tour in cruise with the slut let alone having sex...