Season of Joy

This is my submission to the Winter Holidays Contest. It is a long build-up to consummation. Please enjoy and Merry Christmas!

*

She knew it was over. Her dream to re-establish her opera career crashed to the stage floor in that one moment, and she knew it! She waited in the wings as the curtain fell to thunderous applause with the rest of the cast members gathered to take their bows.

Joy Harrison prepared for her curtain call, to step out then walk on the stage alone and take a deep curtsy. She blushed, embarrassed to take a bow for such a flawed performance. Their audience paid to hear Mozart's "Magic Flute" and they instead received a watered down version, at least from her part.

The first to take their curtain calls were the smaller roles. The audience enthusiastically applauded each singer until her turn.

The strapping and ruggedly handsome baritone named Benjamin Baylor whose deep resonant voice thrilled her to her toes, took his bow as "Papageno", along with an adorable, energetic soprano, Sandra Bastion, who sang the small part of "Papagena". Each received huge applause and cries of 'Bravo' and 'Brava'!

Her apprehension and humiliation grew as her own turn grew near. At last, she took the stage and the spotlight hit her. She expected the applause to die to almost nothing but it continued at deafening decibels. The crowd was being magnanimous! She blew her aria plain and simple! And not just any aria, she blew Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart's best and perhaps most famous, the "Queen of Night" aria!

The director and the orchestra even lowered the key for her since she struggled in the original D minor, but she still muffed the highest note. Perhaps the audience didn't notice, but Joy did and that it meant her dream of revitalizing her opera career after a 25-year absence would remain just that... a dream.

For too long, her voice sat idle, except to sing for family and friends, annual Christmas and Easter concerts and occasionally as a soloist with a symphony.

But singing a performance or two as opposed to a full schedule Tuesday through Saturday nights plus 2 matinees on the weekend was another matter, especially when singing a technically strenuous role like the 'Queen of Night' with its two octave range and rapid arpeggios in the upper register.

Joy took her bows and smiled with appreciation but tears gathered in her eyes with a heavy heart.

Behind her the lead tenor, Sean Alfred who sang 'Tamino' wonderfully, followed by 'Pamina', sung by a beautiful young soprano named Jennifer Albin each received much deserved thunderous ovations which continued unabated as the entire cast with the orchestra conductor took the stage.

"That's a wrap, everyone! Congratulations! Marvelous! ..... Marvelous!" The director, Gerard Pollock, clenched his hands in a victory fist above his head after the final curtain call.

"Cast after-party at Cabrelli's in half an hour," chimed Angela Cabrelli, the stage manager at the Hendersonville, New Jersey Opera House, "Everyone is welcome, please come!" Angela's family owned the classy restaurant, and generously supported the Opera.

Joy was obligated to go, though her heart wasn't in it at all. She felt humiliated. She wanted nothing more than to go home to bed and never wake up. But she was, at least for now, a professional, and would behave professionally in spite of her failure.

In her dressing room, she studied her face in the mirror. She started removing the heavy make up required by the harsh stage lights and gradually her own face appeared.

It was a good face, as a matter of fact, it was a beautiful face. She had always known and now at 52 she was blessed to have not lost much of the bloom of youth. She patted the underside of her chin where the skin of her neck showed little if any signs of aging. There were only a few laugh lines appearing at the corners of her eyes which were as big and bright blue as ever.

Her hair was as white as snow which only now was a little disappointing to her since so many now assumed she had aged into it. In reality her hair always had been white, she was born with stark white hair, and she always loved it. Her thick and luxuriant hair was one thing that always set her apart.

Tests showed that the anomaly in hair color was not albinism and thus her natural skin tones made her natural features look exotic. She was petite at 5 feet tall, and maintained her weight at 101 pounds except when she was pregnant. She cupped and positioned her perky breasts which, on her small frame were quite pleasing, judging by the attention she received from men since they arrived unexpectedly when she was 12. By the time she was in high school she had grown into an amazingly compact and well toned 34/24/34 body.

It all came down to good genes. Her mother still lived in Tacoma, Washington and at the age of 82 looked like she was in her sixties. She was energetic and vivacious and petite, like Joy.

Her mother was platinum blond before her hair turned to gray, but she looked as beautiful as ever. Joy's father was an amateur musician, playing the violin and guitar and sung community opera; she inherited her voice and love of music and opera from her dad.

"You decent?" came a familiar voice interrupting her retrospection with a small rap on her dressing room door.

"Come." called Joy. It was the voice of Leo Zappa her agent/manager. She had immediately recognized him, but she dreaded the conversation she must have now. Leo entered and smiled at her in his usual gentle way.

He wasn't the stereotypical agent. He was not brash or pushy, quite the opposite. His genius was that he was able to effectively sweet talk roles and opportunities for his clients.

He was no relation whatever to Frank Zappa though he liked to leave that impression without saying so, but he never tried to use his famous name or people's mistaken conclusions to his advantage in business dealings. He was a man of integrity.

When she called him after her husband died, and she finally recuperated from that ordeal, he told her he would gladly take her on. 'Once a client, always a client!" he told her. He, evidently, reviewed and updated her file as they talked.

Within 10 days he landed her a role in a summer series of Mozart light operas. They were produced by a small regional Opera company in upstate New York which in turn lead to her being offered this role in the 'Magic Flute' here in Hendersonville during the final weeks of August.

Leo pulled a chair around and straddled it, folded his arms over the back and laid his chin on his wrists and studied her without a word. She looked at her friend and agent. His black hair turned to gray and thinned considerably in the years since she first became one of his clients.

He was taller than her which wasn't difficult; She was barely 5 feet if she stretched extra tall, but he didn't stand any more than 5' 6" and his loss of hair made him appear even shorter. He had an 'Italian' looking face which was understandable since he was Italian.

The most striking and memorable thing about him was his smile and the expression in his eyes, he was a genuine and caring man who was one of the three men she trusted completely: her Dad, her husband, Thomas, and then there was Leo.

Her Dad and Thomas were gone but Leo was still there for her, and she loved him like a father.

Finally, he said, "How did it go?"

She began to cry then, "You heard it didn't you? I was awful! I totally blew the first of the arpeggios! Mozart is turning over in his grave!"

"It wasn't that bad."

Joy glared at him! He looked away not wanting her to see in his eyes that he was lying, a little anyway.

"I can't do it, Leo. I've let you down and hurt your reputation. You had to make commitments for me that I can't fulfill, I'm sorry. But I can't do it. I'm too old and my voice is too out of shape and I don't have the energy I had in my 20s. I can't do it." She wept in big sobs now, grieving the reality that so glaringly forced her to admit the loss of her dream.

Leo wanted to contradict her, but he knew it to be true. He warned her when she called that she was likely fighting the odds. True enough, many opera singers sang well into their sixties, and even their seventies, but they sang every day since their youth keeping their voice in top shape. They didn't take 20 years off to raise a family. She didn't have much of a chance.

"Look, Joy, I am aware you really wanted this I would say you gave it a hell of a shot. I can line up smaller roles for you, if you want, but I think these big parts are unrealistic for you at this late stage of your career. Opera, like sports, is for the young.

Joy sat quietly sobbing unable to stop the flow of tears. She cried for herself and she cried for the loss of her husband and now of her career.

"Joy," Leo said gently, "You're disappointed but you don't have to give up singing. Many professionals make a good living singing the smaller parts, which are, as you are aware, vital to telling the story, You may need to lower your expectations to a more realistic level."

Joy would typically be angry at his lack of confidence but she had to face facts, he was absolutely right! Until this evening she hadn't wanted to admit that fact to herself. But she wasn't sure she wanted to sing smaller roles. She looked at him and tried to smile.

"Leo you are a friend as well as an agent, I know you are trying to build me up but its no use, its done. I can't do it and I was a fool to try."

"Now there I have to strongly disagree with you," he almost scolded,"You never know if you can do something unless you try! You gave it your all, didn't you?

"Yes," Joy whimpered.

"Now you know. You won't always be wondering. Joy, you chose to have a happy life with the man you loved. You had two children who are successful and appear to be happy. You sang on the stage of several large market houses before you made that choice. You have had the best of both worlds, just not at the same time. Do you regret that decision?"

"No." She had her moments during her marriage but basically, no, she did not regret choosing her family over a career.

"For what its worth, Joy, you were the best young singer I ever signed. Had you chosen the career route, I'm certain you would have been a world-class artist singing in all the biggest and best houses on the globe. As far as I'm concerned you are still world-class." He put his hand on her shoulder in a comforting gesture. Joy put hers on top of his hand and gave a gentle pat.

"Thank you, Leo. You have always been a good friend and my biggest fan. Can you give me a few days to think and I'll call you with my decision?"

"Sure, call me. And, Joy, hold your head up when you go to the after-party, you've nothing to be ashamed about."

The party was predictable. People congratulated her and when she objected they blew off her denials. 'It was one of those things', 'Everyone makes mistakes' they said. But it wasn't just a mistake. Her voice refused to hit the high E6 above the top 'C' and she improvised to cover the failure, she instantly knew that her career was over...her voice could not endure the strenuous pace of a professional career! Her dream crashed at her feet in that moment.

When she got back to her hotel room, she wanted to crawl into bed. She would have liked to call her mom but the hour was too late, even in Tacoma, Washington where it was three hours behind. Tomorrow would be soon enough, what she needed was sleep.

2.

"Come home!" Her mother urged after hearing her story and listening to her sobbing. "Come home and stay with me while you sort out what to do next. Washington is beautiful in September and you need some time to think."

"I kind of hoped you would say that, I think I will take you up on your offer. Thank you, Mom. I'll be in touch with the flights and arrivals, 'kay?"

A few days later, Joy flew out of Newark for Sea-Tac through Denver with an hour layover. She would be home before dinner if the flights were on time and traffic allowed.

She landed in Washington State and found the Uber she had arranged and at 5:30 PM on Thursday evening she arrived at her childhood home greeted by her Mom.

Her mother ran out the door and down the steps and toward her daughter as if she hadn't seen her in years. It occurred to Joy that if she could look as good as her Mom and be as energetic and youthful in spirit at 82 years of age, she would be lucky.

"Come in," her Mom gushed as she grabbed the smaller of Joys luggage,"Your room is ready, - with clean sheets and everything! Are you hungry? I put a casserole in the oven - your favorite chicken and noodle with mushrooms and cheese - lots of cheese, if you aren't on one of you diets!"

Joy grinned. She enjoyed her Mom's sense of humor and banter. Her mom washer role model her entire life. She never went through the stage of hating her Mom and she adored her father. She remembered well how devastated both she and her Mom had been when he suddenly died of a massive stroke when she was 19 and attending U-dub (University of Washington). They clung together then and again just two years ago when Thomas died after suffering for over five years with early onset Alzheimer's.

It was a relief to be home and let someone 'mother' her for a few days. She needed to decompress and home was the very best place for that. Her mom always listened and comforted her heart, just the therapy she needed at the moment.

Tacoma was a fairly large city but her mom's neighborhood was quiet, almost rural. Her street was on the edge of a dairy farm with cows in the fields. The century old homes were on lots that were large with trees and hedges. Joy always loved the peaceful near-solitude.

Joy's mom, on the other hand, was a busy woman volunteering at the local food bank and helping at St. Francis homeless shelter. She played pinochle with her Sunday school class as well as Bible study once a week. Her mom was out almost every day doing one thing or another. The time alone gave Joy a chance to think. She texted her children and her sister-in-law Edith, who lived in eastern Washington. She began to make plans for a visit in October.

Joy had only been home three and a half weeks when she got a call from Leo,

"Joy, I heard you were at your parent's home in Washington. Are you getting more rested?"

"Hello Leo, yes I'm home for a few weeks and my outlook is much better. Yes."

"Good, How's Jennette?

"Mom's so active I can't keep up with her!"

Leo laughed and continued, "That's wonderful. Well Joy, I'm calling because I have something to run by you. It's not quite in my field but I thought of you when it came across my desk."

"I don't want to sing bit roles, Leo, that sounds terribly elitist but I'd rather just be done altogether."

9"Yes, I thought as much, how about being on the production side of the stage?

"What?"

"I looked up your original resume and saw that you minored in opera production and management while in college, do you think you would be interested in an Arts Director position in a smaller city? It's a city in Washington State."

"Hmm, wow, I never considered anything like that. Where is it?"

"A small city in Eastern Washington, Wenoka I think it is, ...yes. 'Director of Wenoka Municipal Arts Commission and Arts center'. Its full time and quite active. The director coordinates several community organizations, a Symphony and a couple of local choirs and a theater group, The director also manages the Arts Center facility and coordinates with other agencies and arenas. The Director also acts as producer of a fledgling community opera. It could be a good fit for you."

"In Wenoka?"

"Yes, that's the place. I don't know the salary, I can't imagine it's a lot but it would be steady for at least a year. They are kind of in a pickle with their present director out of commission due to a serious bicycle accident. They need someone right away."

"I don't know, small city in Eastern Washington. It's kind of backwater."

"Joy, you have been a small fish trying to swim in a big pond, but there is something to be considered about being a big fish in a small pond. It might be just the thing for you, Think about it and give them a call."

Joy was non-committal, but got the contact information and thanked Leo for thinking of her and told him she would think about the opportunity.

"Don't wait too long," he warned, "I'd call today if possible, they need someone right away. I'll call again in a few days."

"Who was that?" her mother asked when she hung up.

"Leo, he said 'Hi'," Joy answered.

"Did he have an engagement for you?"

"Yes, in a way. As arts director in Wenoka.

"Arts director, not an opera?"

"Yes."

"Are you interested in that kind of position, dear?"

"I'm not certain, I'll have to think about it."

"Where is it?"

"Wenoka."

"Wenoka? Isn't that where Edith lives?"

"Yes, she lives in a retirement community on the edge of town."

"Well, it could be interesting."

"Yes, I need to think about it." She paused a moment and absently added, "I think I'll go for a run." She went to her room and changed into her running gear and pulled her long white hair into a pony tail. She didn't plug her headphones into her phone, she wanted to be able to think without the distraction of music in her ears. She ran about a mile when she decided to call the number Leo gave her, just to see what it was all about. She pulled her phone from her pocket and dialed the number.

"Hello, Wenoka Municipal Arts Commission, Allison speaking." came a pleasant voice through the phone.

"Hello, I'm calling about the Arts Director opening there in Wenoka. Is the position still open?"

"Why, yes! I'm surprised you know about it we haven't even listed it yet!"

"My agent, Leo Zappa, told me about it."

"He must be the agent that Jerome Valducci said he contacted, an old friend, I guess."

"Can I get your name, number and some basic information and I'll call you about a telephone interview, can you Skype or FaceTime?"

"Yes." Joy said confidently, she did it a few times with her daughter and her grandson on their birthdays.

"Oh, and please fax or email a resume, the fax number is the same as this number except it ends with a two."

"No problem. By the way, when would the job start?"

"How soon can you get here?" She laughed, "No, really, I think they will want someone to fill the job as soon as possible!"

"Okay, well thank you for your help," Joy smiled into her phone. She continued her run.

An hour later she was climbing the stairs to the house when the phone rang from Wenoka. Arrangements were made for a conference call phone interview the next morning at 10 AM with four of the five board members.

That evening, Joy made a call to Edith Lansing, her Sister in Law. Edith, a widow of 79. She was in nowhere near as good shape as her Mom. She lived in a retirement community condo that included assisted living services.

She was a kind and generous woman and did a lot of community service when she was younger, she may be able to tell her a little about the Wenoka Municipal Arts Commission.

The call was productive and Edith was ecstatic at the prospect of Joy living in Wenoka, she offered a room until got an apartment which, according to Edith, were hard to find in Wenoka.

Joy had difficulty sleeping that night more from fear of the unknown than excitement. She wasn't at all sure she could do the job she was interviewing for but it sounded intriguing and it would be involved in music and opera, it was something new, and she was ready for new.

Joy awoke early and was more nervous for this interview than any audition she ever sang It wasn't like she needed this job financially, but more of a self-worth thing. She was already a young professional opera star, an up-and-comer when she met Thomas Harrison and fell in love, deciding to give up the stage until six months ago. Now after her failure to revitalize her opera career she needed a success to make her feel productive again. She thought perhaps this job would be just the thing to accomplish that.