All Comments on 'Second Chances'

I will look forward to your next story. Thanks

your mate is out there waiting for you to find her, TK U MLJ LV NV

A fun read, a bit stilted but kept me interested. But for the sake of my sanity please get an editor or at least read through your submission (that's the reason there is the preview!) before pressing the submit button - what do all the "
†mean. Would have scored it a 4* but ended up only giving it a 3*

For some reason there are strange characters in my story such as "
â€. I submitted it in .DOC format but I guess I should have looked it through.

Sorry about that

English Fella

You are obviously a master of taking what should have been a one page flash story and stretching it to 5 pages. Unbelievable! And such a trite plot. Escort meets rich guy, falls for him and they get married and have babies. Wow! What excitement, what clever plot twists. What nothing. I generously gave it a 2*

.......there are a lot of typos.

And because I am a CPA, I am going to point out several tax errors:

1. If that was her residence for at least 2 of the past 5 years, she could have made a profit of $250,000 without paying any taxes.

2. If she was going to rent out the residence, she should have created an LLC for the rental, and purchased an umbrella liability insurance policy.

3. Her company should have been an LLC. She should then tell the IRS she wanted the LLC to be taxed as an S Corporation.

4. If the IRS audits her, they will classify the trainee as an employee, and there will be very large penalties.

It was a very abrupt finish.

Hope I'll see more of your work. Maybe one of the others can help you eliminate the Word garbage?

Thanks EnglishFella

I finished the story, so it wasn't bad. Nice idea. Had the makings of a goid story, but for me it was a bit predictable and twee. I would have liked some strife for the protaganist to fight, to show his mettle against. In a story, the hero has to overcome something or someone, perhaps in this case overcoming societys prejudice against their age difference. In my opinion, a bit of a fight would have given the end of the story a feel good rush. As it was, it just petered out. What makes a good life in reality doesn't necessarily make a good story. A good life written down can be boring.

I hope you take my comments as helpful. Have another go - I'd like to read more.

Can't wait for your next story

Escorts have sex with customers. If she was on their website, she has had sex with more than one man. This from good friend who worked as public defender.

Try submitting in RTF and LIT will have someone get the quotation marks and other punctuation marks showing properly in final story.

Of all the stories longer than 2 pages I've read on this website, this is by far the worst. No dramas, no adversities, no character developing, boring sex depiction.

I primarily judge a story on two points, one is it entertaining, and two,was it enjoyable to read. This story fulfilled both criteria.

A good story. Sweetness and light can be as entertaining as doom and gloom, though interest peaks with conflict resolution. In this story, you raise the age differential as a factor, but should probably have made it at least a little harder for the two to accept their fate, even if only in their own minds. The writing is a touch stilted, but I suspect that will cure itself as you become more accustomed to writing. The business about the escort service should have been dropped out of the story once it became clear it really had nothing to do with the story - I suspect you started out to write something very different and the story ran in a different direction, as they so often do for an author. It's quite clear you have fallen in love with your heroine, but who could resist her?

I hope to see a good deal more from you as time goes on.

I think it's a great story. A romance does not have to require problems in the relationship. Everything can develop without problems, but in this story if there were any handicap with Anya, who was solved quickly. Life does not have to be hard, but usually it is. I guess the fact that both have money helped them. The only thing I do not understand is that she was an escort, had no financial need, in fact, she left him immediately, the only explanation that I find is that she was looking for the man of her life, an older man, as had been the case in his first relationship with his teacher.

As one of the comments from another reader, the escort only have sex with men in which they are interested, they do not have sex with all the men who accompany them. Anyway, that part would have been better had been removed from history, a chance encounter would have been more romantic. I guess, in future stories, these small errors are corrected. It is also important to review the format of the text, including foreign characters difficult to read, but it is something not overly affect the story.

I think it deserves the 5*, but may improve in the future.

I hope to read more of their stories.

I apologize for my English, is not my native language.

But a bit rushed, needed more detail, but good is good.

19pvc44

What a great love story, too bad the author doesn't publish more stories. If this one is an example of his writing talents he should definitely write more. Well done and gets my 5 star vote

Sorry we do not get a sequel.