Seduced by My Stepdaughter Pt. 03

"Daa-aad. Are you almost done?" Vivian leans against the big bay window with her hand on her hip, eyeing me impatiently over the tops of her sunglasses.

"Yes sweetie of course, just give me a sec," I say, scarcely glancing up. It's such a sight -- my beautiful slender Vietnamese stepdaughter standing there in her sundress with her hair clipped up, silhouetted against the sparkling blue of the Pacific Ocean. Or at least I'm sure it would be, if I allowed myself more than a moment to look. Work comes first, though, and by the time I glance again she's gone, stepping across the large sunlit living room with an air of boredom.

"You said that five minutes ago..." she complains, crossing to the door and checking the driveway. "Ah! Raul's here. You'd better be done now! Come onnn, let's go! All you've been doing is working!"

I close the computer, rubbing my eyes. She's right, of course...but I've got to provide for us, and I'm doing it the only way I know how. I've gotta show my gratitude.

When work heard about what happened with my house, they were quite concerned to say the least. One of the founders even went so far as to put us up in a place: his timeshare, a posh seaside villa amongst the hills of Puerto Verde, Mexico.

They told me to take some time off, but god damn am I grateful and I just want to show how much. I guess I have been going at it pretty hard -- we've been here three days and I've scarcely looked away from the screen. Shit's been stressful though, what with handling insurance and thinking about...other things. I guess work is just what I do to escape from my problems, as funny as that sounds.

Vivian's watching me expectantly from the door, and I feel a pang of guilt as I get up. We haven't really spent much time together since coming here. She's spent her days studying and attending college classes online, or going on little daytrips with our driver Raul, while I've been busy with my spreadsheets. It's not that I've been avoiding her, it's just...things have been complicated, ever since the night of the flood. Honestly, I'm still not sure how to handle what happened, and we haven't spoken of it since -- things were kind of crazy coming here, and once we got settled I thought maybe we could get past it if we each did our own thing for awhile. Clearly I thought wrong, though: by now it's obvious she's miffed at me for being aloof.

Raul steps through the door as I'm collecting my sandals, looking cheerful as usual. He's a big guy, tall and broad-shouldered with a bit of a paunch. He's by far the biggest Mexican I've met since coming here, and he'd cut quite the intimidating figure if he weren't so damn friendly.

"Hola señorita Vivian, you're looking pretty today as always," he smiles, giving her a fistbump. "And señor Coleman, I hear you're finally coming with us?"

"Yeah, I got him to agree to actually come out of the house for once," Viv says with a snide glance in my direction. "I'm worried he's gonna shrivel up like an old plant if we don't get him some sunlight."

"Ah well, we'd hate for that to happen, señor," Raul grins, gesturing for us to follow. "Let's get you two out there to enjoy the day, huh?"

"Thank you, Raul," I say, making a face at Viv as we head to the car.

Raul has me sit up front with him, happy to point out the sights he's already shown Vivian as we make our way down the hill -- the old Catholic churches, the weathered statues of saints and revolutionary leaders, the breathtaking views of the sea. There's so much sun, so much life, so much color; it's hard to believe just a few days ago we were surrounded by stormy gray skies and pouring rain. I marvel at the manycolored birds overhead, at the bright lizards scampering across the road, at the riot of green things growing just about everywhere. It's a beautiful day, in a beautiful place. Maybe Viv was right...maybe I did just need to get outside.

Raul takes us to a nearby town, a once-sleepy fishing village that's become something of a tourist hotspot for its open-air market. There, we have lunch and check out the stalls, searching for things to wear. Honestly, I'm in bad need of clothes -- all I have is some sweats and whatever Viv was able to fit in her backpack when we escaped, which wasn't much. Fortunately she got our passports and important papers, and she was able to save my old laptop which I've since given her to do schoolwork with...but by this point I've been wearing the same pants for three days, and it's hotter than hell out.

"I just don't want to look too much like a tourist," I tell Raul and Viv as they help me pick out some shorts and shirts.

"Amigo, you're a gringo in México. You're gonna look like that no matter what," Raul laughs, making me smile in spite of myself.

Vivian skips ahead as we make our way through the market, her bare shoulders catching my attention. I can't help but notice the way the breeze blows her dress around her beautiful body, the way her clipped-up hair shows off the nape of her delicate neck.

An unwelcome feeling stirs in me as I watch.

Things have been awkward since those nights we spent together, and still I'm struggling with feelings of guilt. She's been eager for my attention ever since, and put off that I won't give it, and it's made things so, so difficult.

I mean...I love her, more than anything. I care for her like no one else.

But at the same time I'm terrified. Terrified of what we've done, of how easily it's happened. Of how easily it could happen again. I'm terrified of what she wants, of what it all means, of this sudden taboo twist to our relationship.

What scares me most, though, what keeps me awake and staring at the ceiling all fucking night, is the fact that deep down inside I might want those things too. That I might want to feel again what I felt when I was with her. That now that I've had her, I can think of nothing else. That maybe I love her in more ways than one.

She turns suddenly and catches me offguard, dazzling me with that irresistible smile -- the one that makes my heart ache, the one that ties my stomach in knots. It's getting harder and harder to get a handle on my feelings, and as she turns to go, laughing, waving for me to catch up, I feel my heart go with her.

*But what sort of a man fucks his own stepdaughter?*

I scowl, struggling with memories of her bare body in my arms. It's unacceptable. It's way over the goddamn line; it's sicko shit, it's practically criminal. She may be the most beautiful girl, the one I secretly yearn for...but how the hell could I let myself have her?

I shake my head, desperately trying to clear it. I just want to do what's best for us. Why is that so goddamn hard?

I'm still stewing in my own private hell when a group of drunk young American men stumble out of a bar up ahead. One turns to stare at Viv as she disappears around the next corner.

"Daamn bro...I gotta get me a hot little Asian bitch like that," he laughs to his friends, letting out a low whistle. "Teach her some English and shit..."

I stop in my tracks, stunned; I've never heard anyone talk about her like that. Suddenly I'm filled with a terrible anger, a frustrated rage the likes of which I've never felt.

My mind switches off -- I step up and hit him as hard as I can.

He staggers as I catch him clean, but doesn't go down. His friends round on me in confusion and start to swing wildly, the blows just barely missing my head as I stumble over a pair of crates and slam into a wall. Two of them move forward, glaring and cracking their knuckles, and suddenly it dawns on me what I've done, that I'm about to get my ass kicked.

Then Raul is there; he shoves one of the guys back, he slugs the other and sends him falling into his friends. They bunch up, ready to rush us, but Raul pulls up his shirt first and everyone freezes.

A pistol grip is there at his waist, his fingers trailing lightly over it. Suddenly big Raul doesn't look so friendly.

"Amigos...hola," he says, eyeing them warily. "Listen -- we are gonna go over that way. You are gonna go the other way. You're gonna go have a drink and have a nice day, and fuck off. Sí?"

The two that were hit scowl at us, but their friends are quick to drag them away, disappearing down the street in a hurry. Raul glances around; noting the few onlookers, he pulls me off the wall and hastily walks us away from the scene as well.

"You okay, señor Coleman?"

"Holy shit. Holy shit man, thanks. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I don't know why I did that I just--"

"Hey. Amigo. It's México -- shit happens sometimes. People get drunk, people get stupid. It's my job to keep you safe."

"Shit man," I say, starting to shake.

*What the hell was that?*

"Shit I just...fuck. If you weren't there, they would've..."

"They would've fucked you up," he grins, leading me around the corner.

Viv is there, checking out some big floppy sunhats. Thankfully she didn't hear the commotion; she looks up as we approach, her eager gaze lingering on me through her sepia-tone sunglasses.

"There you are, slowpokes. What took you?"

I don't have a lie ready in time, but Raul mercifully steps in. "Oh I was just showing your dad an old landmark. But hey, señorita, that's a nice hat you found there...but I think I saw some that are even nicer over that way, on the other side of town. Do you want to see? I can show you."

"Okay, sure," she smiles, and as Raul guides us away I shoot him a grateful glance.

I'm badly shaken, though. What the hell was that? I'm not a violent person; I've never done anything like that before.

We wander the market until late afternoon, my mind running in a loop. I can't enjoy the scenery any longer, I can't think of anything other than what I've just done. Even Viv's secret little glances don't have quite the same effect, and I can't stop looking over my shoulder until we're in the car and on the way home.

*What the fuck? I can't be doing shit like that. I need to be in control, now more than ever.*

I thank Raul again as he drives, while Vivian sleeps in the back seat beneath her new hat.

"Amigo I told you, it's my job. A bunch of drunk kids like that? They're easy to scare...you just be careful who you're hitting, huh? You punch the wrong kind of people around here and...well. Just do me a favor, if you have to be in a fight, you make sure they're tourists. There's guys here who...you don't wanna make them angry."

I shudder at the implication. He's right -- I can't go around starting shit like that, especially here. What if I piss the wrong person off, what if they're with one of the gangs, or one of the cartels or something?

Fuck. I *need* to get my shit together.

I squeeze my hands to try and keep them from shaking, rubbing at my sore knuckles. "I just...I don't know what happened. I'm normally not like that at all. I just..."

"I know what happened," Raul chuckles. "I heard what they said. If she were my girl I might do the same thing."

I nod. "Yeah, but...it's like I had no control. I just exploded. I've been so stressed lately, and...it's like it all came out at once."

"I understand. But my friend, you're in México now. You can't be so tense. You're on vacation! It's time for you to *relax*."

"I'm trying, but...I don't know if I can."

He glances over and gives me a sly grin. "Maybe I have something that might help."

***

We linger in the driveway as Vivian goes inside to put away her souvenirs and new clothes. Once she's gone, Raul sells me some weed.

I'm nervous beyond belief; I keep looking over my shoulder like we're gonna get caught, which makes Raul laugh. I've never had drugs, I've never bought them, I've never done anything like this, but that seems to be my theme for the day.

Raul on the other hand is completely nonchalant as he rolls a couple little joints and passes me a lighter and a few edibles, which just look like small candies. I can't believe I'm doing this, but I've been so damn worked up since we got here. I *need* to chill out before I do something stupid again, and as dumb as it sounds I don't really have any better ideas.

"Hey just don't have too much, just don't go wandering around or talking to the police or anything and you'll be fine, yeah? It's not a big deal -- people come here and they want to enjoy themselves. It's normal for tourists. So you can relax, man. You don't have to be so nervous."

I nod. I trust him enough, in a weird way. He did just save me from a fight I started.

Fortunately Viv doesn't come back out again -- the last thing I need is her catching me with this crap. Raul grins and gives me a pat on the back as he goes, and I head inside for dinner.

We order tacos, eating outside in the warmth of the evening, our patio view that of the sunset over the ocean and the beach far below. It's a breathtaking sight, with the sky painted orange and pink and purple, the restless blue-gray waves washing endlessly up onto the golden shore.

I'm deep in thought when Viv interrupts.

"Dad...we're gonna hang out tonight, right?"

She's watching me uncertainly, wearing a white bikini top and blue white floral sarong tied about her waist, her long dark hair unbound. I've been doing my best not to notice how good she looks -- if I let my guard down even for an instant, I start to think about the night of her birthday, about the night of the flood, about the moments we shared and those things we did together...

A shiver runs down my spine despite the heat, and I do what I can to banish it. She's so pretty and sweet with her heart in her eyes and the setting sun glowing behind. How the hell can I say no?

Still, I try.

"We can umm, we can put on a movie, if you like. I...but I still have some work to do. I can try to get it done quick, but..."

"Dad!" She frowns, her petite features furrowed in consternation, a hidden hurt hinted at in the way she looks at me, crestfallen. "Dad, you *need* to stop working so hard! I know you've been stressed about work and the house and everything, but what's going on? It's been nonstop since we got here. Are you avoiding me? We've been here three days and I just thought...I know you've been busy and worried and all, but I just thought...I just thought we'd spend more time together..."

I swallow hard, my heart breaking. Of course I want to spend time with her -- she's my girl, she's my whole damn world. Of course I want to make her happy; I'd do anything.

But something has begun. Something that's just not right. Something that scares me, something I'm not quite sure how to stop.

I let out a long-held sigh. It feels fucking impossible, finding a way through this...but I have to try, don't I? She's my daughter, godammit. I can't just keep hiding from her.

"Baby I'm not...I'm not avoiding you. We just spent the day together, didn't we? And it was great, wasn't it? And we'll...we'll have a fun night too. Okay? I just have a few things to finish up, I'll get them done quick, I promise. And after that we can watch a movie together, whatever you like. Alright?"

I hope I sound convincing. I'm unsure even as I say it, but what other choice do I have? I just can't stand to see her upset.

"Okay..." she pouts.

After a moment she brightens, her wonderful mind at work, her beautiful optimism shining through.

"...Any movie I want?" she asks, a familiar grin growing across her face. "Well...there's this Bollywood one I've been meaning to see...but it's three hours long! You have to promise to stay awake, okay??"

I groan and shake my head as she starts to laugh. Her happiness brings out my own, even as I feel a flutter of trepidation.

Truth be told I don't know how to be alone with her anymore -- I'm just entranced by her, and all I end up thinking of is what we did before.

If only I could find a way to turn my mind off, to stop from overthinking. To make shit simple again and get back to how it used to be. To just have a nice time and relax; to just be Dad, and nothing more.

My hand strays to my pocket, where I start to idly play with Raul's contraband.

*You know, a three hour movie doesn't sound half bad right about now...*

"You know what sweetie? I'll pay perfect attention. I promise."

***

*God damn.*

A pleasant buzz fuzzes my head, a tingling warmth running all through me. I feel relaxed as hell, letting out a long sigh of relief as I cruise through my spreadsheets, making sure everything's squared away.

*Why haven't I tried this shit before?*

Raul was fucking right -- it took only one of those little candies to put me in a much better mood, to get me out of my own head. All that tension and stress, all my worries from the past few days, all the anxiety from after the fight...it's gone, all gone, replaced with a numb, pleasurable haze.

What the hell was I so worked up about? Why do I need to worry so much all the damn time? Stressing about shit just makes it so much worse -- everything's gonna be fine. I'm just gonna finish my work and spend some quality time with my daughter; I'm gonna be a good father and that's all. A damn fine plan for an evening, if you ask me.

Vivian comes back into the room, looking radiant as ever. It's hard for me to hide my enthusiasm upon seeing her -- I know I've hurt her, I know she's feeling ignored and I'm eager to make up for it. To share this good feeling I've found, to have a nice time and stop being such a grouch.

"Well, someone's in a better mood," she observes with a crooked smile as she steps to the couch, setting down her borrowed laptop. "You know Dad, I'll never understand how work actually makes you happy. It's so weird."

"Maybe I'm just excited to see my favorite girl?" I tease, making my way over and settling at the other end of the couch, earning an affectionate smirk. "What about you though, huh? You've been on that computer ever since I gave it to you, you've been working almost as hard as me!"

"Yeah...I guess so," she says with a small secret smile as she starts the Chromecast, directing my attention to the TV. "Okay, this is the one! It's long though, so don't say I didn't warn you. You're gonna be able to pay attention the whole time?"

"Pff, yeah. Let's go!"

The credits roll and the movie starts right off with a dance number, because of course it would. I let out a good-natured groan -- I should've known she'd trick me into watching another musical. She looks over and gives a victorious smile, and all I can do is ruefully shake my head.

It's not my cup of tea, but the movie isn't terrible. At least the plot doesn't grind to a halt every time they start to sing and dance. Funnily enough I'm able to get into it, mellow enough to enjoy the spectacle, to shut my brain off for awhile and float. For the first time since coming here I'm content, and everything else just melts away.

It's hard to say how long I sit for, caught up in the dazzling color of Bollywood drama, but at length I'm interrupted. It takes a long moment for me to come to -- the edible's hitting harder now, and it's several seconds before I can pull myself together and remember where I am, and realize what it is I'm feeling.

Something nudges my leg, and I look down.

Vivian's sat sideways across the couch, stretched out over the cushions, her feet settling into my lap. They're slender and smooth just like the rest of her, coconut-white toenails matching her bikini top, the knockoff gold anklet she bought in town giving an exotic appeal. Her skin is so supple and young, her bare shins and calves glowing in the half-light of the living room -- she just looks so fucking good, and my fuzzed up mind fixates on her instantly, setting me staring at her legs and feet as if seeing them again for the first time.

It's not til I hear a soft giggle that I'm torn away; I look up to find her watching me, wearing a strange sort of smile.