Seeing the Signs

That brought more tears and denials. When she finally calmed down, I mentioned that with all that had already happened, the day's surprises were not over yet. There was a finale yet to come. It happened after she came home. She had was dozing in her chair. I confessed to taking that opportunity to search through her purse. What I found broke my heart. She was carrying birth control pills.

"Everyone at this table already knows about my vasectomy. Is there anyone here that can't figure out why she had those pills?" I shouted.

When she finally recovered, Janet got back on defense saying, "I told you that Vic gave me some medication for my menopause symptoms. She prescribed those birth control pills as a source of estrogen. As for the alleged time I spent in his room, all of that time was spent in the Convention Center. We were giving our presentation. Someone has made those videos misrepresent what happened. Unfortunately, the time spent in our house that afternoon was correct, but it wasn't what you think. I was showing Steve pictures and videos that Dad took of his old car. They were in the old Betamax format and our home player was the only one I could find that would play them. All we did was watch those tapes, but I should never have brought him to our home. I know it wasn't appropriate for us to be there alone. Even though nothing happened, I agree that it looked bad and I regret it with every bone in my body."

The video taken the following day, showed Janet and Steve entering the Blue Streak Café. It showed them ordering, talking, and acting like a married couple. Once again, she ate a piece of his pie offered on his fork.

After we watched the video, I turned to Randy and asked, "Son, what can you tell me about where they chose to eat in that video?

"They're at your very favorite restaurant in the whole world, Dad. It's the place you choose for almost every special occasion. I guess it's my favorite place too, come to think of it."

I turned toward Mandy. She looked at her mom. "Of all the places in the world to have lunch, you took him there? That place is special to our family! I'm getting tired of this behavior. Dad, are you about done with these videos? I can't take much more. This breaks my heart. I can only imagine what it's doing to you. We get the message, Dad. Mom had an affair with this guy and she even put him in the middle of our family traditions. Not only the Blue Streak but even our family cookout." Mandy was furious.

I turned to Janet, "I hope he was worth it. I'll tell you one thing right now; I'll never darken the door of the Blue Streak Café again. You've ruined it for me."

Janet and Mandy were both crying. I handed a napkin to Mandy. "I'll get this over with. There's not much left. When they left the restaurant, they drove to a house in the country. My PI said that it appeared to be an empty house. They spent hours there before they drove home. While that was going on, I drove by her office. It was mid-afternoon. I noticed that her car wasn't in her assigned parking space. I tried to call her, but it went straight to voicemail. So, I called her office phone. Some new person was answering the phones. She told me that Janet Gorman had taken leave that afternoon. She asked if I wanted to leave a message. I said that I'd just call her tomorrow. She advised me to call before noon since Mrs. Gorman had scheduled tomorrow afternoon off too."

Janet was turning white. I continued, "The PI's report said they were back at that empty house the following day. So, they were there both Wednesday and Thursday. I guess the hours in that house weren't enough. When they drove back to the city on Thursday, they went to a motel where they stayed together for an additional couple of hours."

As I was talking, the video was running. It was showing each thing that I was describing. Janet remained deathly quiet.

I stood up, saying, "Now, I'll wind it up. This next video was taken this very morning. This happened just a few hours ago at the Hilton Coffee Shop."

It plainly showed Janet and Steve having breakfast at a table for two. It ended with Janet sitting at the table while Steve was standing over her. It looked like the archetypal alpha male dominating his submissive woman. He leaned down and they shared what could only be described as a "passionate kiss." There's no doubt about her participation. At that point, the video quickly faded to black.

It was time to bring this difficult lunch to an end, so I did.

"I hope that after what you've seen and heard this morning, you all understand why I need some time by myself to determine how to handle this devastating situation."

I turned to the kids, "One thing I can assure you, I will make sure that funds are set aside to cover your college expenses for any degree you choose to seek. Also, I have no intention of trying to punish your mother in any way. I will be fair to her in any settlement. She gave me the best years of her life and until this month, she was nothing short of the perfect wife and mother. She was the best companion I could hope for. I'll treat her accordingly."

At that point, Janet's tears had dried and she gathered herself enough to stand and speak. First, she looked at me while saying, "It pains me that you're talking about settlements. Why do you need a month to ponder things if you've already decided on divorce?"

Then she shifted her attention to our children. She began, "There is so much wrong with what we've just seen and heard that I don't know where to start. Just let me say that I will accept the blame for letting myself get into such an indefensible and unintended situation. What we've seen looks bad, but I want to correct two serious misconceptions right now.

"First, for some reason, I failed to communicate to everyone that we were not able to hold the conference at our office this year. There were too many attendees, so most of it was held at the Hilton Convention Center. In all of those videos of us walking down the hall, we were going to or coming from the Convention Center.

"Second, we didn't go to an empty or abandoned house in the country. It was the residence of Roger and Harriet Carson. They had moved there after they left our old neighborhood. We were there because Steve wanted to purchase Dad's old Karmann Ghia, and they had it.

"It's my fault that I didn't communicate with everyone about the change in venue for the conference, but those videos are very misleading in other ways too. For instance, several of them didn't follow us when the hallway turned to the right. If they had, they'd have shown us entering the Convention Center, not Steve's room.

"There was only one that showed us after the right turn. It was taken on the Tuesday when we gave our presentation. It did show us entering Steve's room. We went in to get some handouts and survey forms to distribute at our presentation. It took us a couple of minutes at the most. Then we left the room, walked on down the hall to the Convention Center, and gave our presentation.

"When we finished, we returned to the room to leave the filled-out survey forms there. It took us less than a minute. We left the room and headed to the parking lot. The video we saw showed us entering the room to get those forms. It didn't show when we left a minute later heading for our presentation. Instead, it showed us leaving after we had left the completed survey forms there. That made it look like we'd been in the room for the whole time. We were actually in the Convention Center giving our presentation. That video is purposely misleading!"

Next, she pointed out that the day she supposedly spent time with Steve at the Windsor Motel after leaving the "empty house" was just more fiction. She stated that they took the car there because the motor pool guy was staying there. That was because they had adequate parking for big trucks. She said she had spent all of her time in the lobby watching tv while Steve and the motor pool guy worked with the car. She left alone as soon as Steve and the motor pool guy had loaded the car on the trailer that would transport it to DC. She'd spent zero time in any room there. The "evidence" was dead-wrong. She thought it was purposely so. She was determined to prove it.

She went on to say that there were many other misleading pieces of evidence in what Brad just told us. She emphasized that she wasn't saying Brad mislead us, but that the evidence given to Brad was misleading at best and blatantly untrue in many, if not most, cases.

Tears flowed as she admitted that the evidence contained two accurate events that she would regret until her dying day.

The first one was taking Steve to the Blue Streak Café. She just thought he would be impressed with the food. She didn't think about what a betrayal it was until they were walking from the parking lot to the door. Then it was too late to undo a horrific and despicable mistake.

Then she stated that the worst thing by far was bringing Steve to our house for lunch. She admitted that even though nothing of a romantic nature happened, it was wrong in more ways than she could enumerate. She apologized profusely for those unforgettable errors in judgment.

She ended by saying that she would use her remaining days to set the record straight. She would find out who was to blame for spreading such inaccurate information. Lies that threatened to destroy everything she lived for.

She sat down and lowered her head to the table as she buried it in her arms. She was obviously spent and weighted down with shame. The silence was broken when Randy asked, "Mom, can you swear to us that you didn't have an affair with Steve Snow?"

She replied, "I swear that I never did anything sexual with him. There was nothing romantic except for that last goodbye kiss this morning. That came unexpectedly when I thought he had left. It surprised me. The video makes it look like I participated. Maybe I did for a surprising instant. But, once again, the video was very misleading. If it hadn't faded to black with the kiss, it would have shown me yelling "no" and pushing him away."

Randy then said, "I want to believe you, Mom, I do, but now I have a harder question. Were you attracted to him? Did you think about him often in your quiet moments? Were you thinking of him that night when Dad says you closed your eyes during sex? What I'm trying to ascertain is if you had what's known as an 'emotional affair' with him."

"Randy, I think your minor in psychology is showing. I have asked myself that question ad infinitum. I'll try to describe what has happened and what I've felt. I'll let you decide if that rises to the level of an emotional affair.

"I first noticed him when he was the mystery man with a cubical across from my office. We knew his name, Steve Snow, from his cubicle tag. But what was he doing there? Who did he work for? I spent more time than I should have observing him for clues. I'll admit, he was easy on the eyes. He reminded me of your dad back when we first met."

She went on to explain how she had solved the mystery when she noticed him at the factory. She was there to coordinate her upcoming factory tours with Mike, the factory manager. The mystery man was there and Mike unraveled the whole thing. The mystery man was a captain in the army. He was part of the advanced party sent to coordinate efforts with our managers.

"Mike introduced us and we had an informative conversation. We discovered that we were both giving similar presentations at the conference. I was covering the new security features of our systems from the vendor perspective and he was covering the same thing from the military perspective.

"I was a hero around the water cooler when I told everyone the truth about the mystery man. Here's where I have to admit that I fantasized a bit about Steve. I think all of us are occasionally attracted to a person of the opposite sex. I think it's normal. If it's left at that, it's harmless. Did I leave it at that? Not exactly. I did think of him sometimes, perhaps not always appropriately. I did think of him that night that Brad mentioned. It worked for me and that led to me 'working' for Brad. Ultimately, however, it caused me much shame. After Brad was sleeping, it led to many tears at the kitchen table and some late-night alcohol consumption, which did nothing to assuage my feelings of guilt."

She explained that when Steve came up with the idea of combining their presentations, it made perfect sense. It was a new concept for the vendor to share a presentation with the military. She pointed out that it was plowing new ground and it necessitated that she would need to work closely with Steve. That led to most of what Brad has been led to believe was an affair between them.

She explained, "I must admit that perhaps some of our collaboration was more intimate than necessary, but we had become good friends during our many hours of working together. I wish now that I had handled those things differently."

She continued by saying that when Steve became interested in her dad's old car, their friendship went beyond the original purpose. She knew that Steve had been responsible for getting her a few "atta-girl" commendations from her supervisors and managers. She felt indebted to him and was determined to reciprocate by helping him get that car. In retrospect, she realizes that she should have paved the road for him instead of driving him down it in her car!

"With all of that said, there was a line that I knew existed. I came close to stepping over it several times when he invited me to do so, but I ensured that we never crossed that line. So, Randy, you're the one that knows the psychology. Was it an emotional affair?"

"Well, Mom, that's more information than I needed to hear, but not exactly what I wanted to know. Tell me, did he share intimate details with you about him and his wife?"

"He told me about catching her in the act of cheating. He talked about his divorce, but never about them making love or anything like that."

"Ok. Did he ever ask about your relationship with Dad; especially on a sexual level?"

She thought about that for a while, then she remembered the day of her appointment with Victoria. She'd barely made it back in time to get a late lunch with Steve before they did their testing at the Convention Center. When Steve remarked that he had worried about her, she felt obligated to explain about her appointment with her gynecologist. One question led to another until she found herself telling him about her reduced interest in "date nights" with Brad. As the conversation progressed, Steve guided it into whether Brad had tried new positions and new activities to reignite her interest in lovemaking. She knew they were entering dangerous territory, so she quickly guided the conversation in a different direction. As the days passed, he made some subsequent attempts to reenter that sphere, but she resisted those maneuvers. As each of those memories surfaced, she relayed them vocally to Randy.

When she finished, he asked, "Did he ever denigrate Dad in any way?"

"No! I would never put up with that."

"Well, Mom, in my opinion, you walked a dangerous path. I believe that you believe you stayed on that path and avoided the poisonous weeds on each side. You have convinced me, but only because I choose to accept what you have told us about the evidence being incomplete or even purposely misleading. Unfortunately, it's not me that you need to convince; it's Dad.

"If we look at things from his perspective, he has evidence from a licensed investigator. You say that the evidence is purposely misleading or even falsified. Whether we like it or not, the burden of proof rests with you. If you can somehow get that proof, there may be a future for you and Dad. If you can't prove your accusations, I think the future is bleak."

At that point, Mandy felt compelled to enter the conversation. She said, "Mom, if I was sitting on a jury and had to make a decision based on what has occurred here today, I'd have to give the nod to Dad. He has pictures, recordings, and videos. He has lab results. He has reports from a licensed investigator. You have words, conspiracy theories, and accusations about falsified data. You have convinced your son that you didn't have an emotional affair, but you haven't convinced your daughter. When you admitted that you were thinking of that guy when you closed your eyes, you crossed the line in my book.

"I don't mean to pile on, but when I count up all the hours that you spent with that guy, I'm not even convinced that the affair didn't become physical. I know, you will say that I've always been 'Daddy's little girl,' and maybe I have. But here's what I'll do. I'll help you in every way that I can to prove your story. I'll pray every night that you're right and that we can prove it to Dad. Why? Because if that fails, we lose everything that matters. I have no choice. You can count on me for help with your endeavor."

There were tears in every eye, including mine. I hugged everyone, then picked up my briefcase and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" Janet screamed.

"While Mandy was speaking, I let the limo driver know that I'm ready to be picked up. I will be on the first leg of my flight in an hour or two."

Janet mentioned that I hadn't packed any clothes or personal items. She noted that I didn't have a single suitcase ready.

I informed her that the company had it all covered. They were furnishing everything from my suits, ties, and casual clothing to my toothpaste and mouthwash. I told her that all they needed now was for me to get on that airplane.

She said, "Honey, I was hoping we would have some time to digest all of this. It's like I'm in a nightmare. Can't you delay a little while so we can do some planning and prepare ourselves mentally to handle this month-long separation?"

"While you've been pursuing whatever you had with Steve, I've been planning and preparing. It's not my fault that you chose not to listen to my many invitations for a heart-to-heart conversation. You did what you felt you should be doing and I did what I had to do. Now we both have a month to consider where we go from here or to ponder what might have been. I would kiss you goodbye, but you've already had one goodbye kiss today and I don't want to rob you of that memorable taste with my insipid lips."

Just then a horn sounded. With my briefcase in my hand, I walked to the waiting limo. I didn't look back.

LAWYERS

JANET:

The kids and I had a rough weekend. We were all hurting. It was a shared time of mourning. When I was finally alone, it hit me hard--how alone I was and would continue to be for the foreseeable future. I had slept alone in our bed before when Brad had to travel for meetings and such, but that didn't prepare me for this. He was always coming home in a few days. It was never like this. I'd never felt so alone before. I was able to get some sleep, only when I vowed to myself to spend all of my time fixing what I had broken. That vow enabled me to get up every morning and face another breakfast alone.

Without delay, I began executing my plan. I determined that I needed to talk to a lawyer. That was my first dilemma. What kind of lawyer should I consult? My basic duty was to save my marriage, but that would only happen if I could find out how and why so much false evidence had been imparted to my husband. I searched the web trying to find a lawyer that met my requirements.

I found a firm that advertised: "We can handle 'any and all' problems that threaten your marriage." I decided to start there.

When I arrived for my appointment, I saw one of their brochures on a table next to my chair. I read it and determined that they were mainly involved in handling divorces.