Selfie Explosion

Hold still. Right there. It looks close but not quite right. Stay still, the slightest quiver in my knee shakes my forearm and leaves a blurred mess. I almost had it. An inch forward, try to arch a little more.

It might be a simple phone picture but all it takes is what I see on screen and knowing my hand stayed still long enough to get it perfect. Each millisecond I wait for the photos to open seem to take forever. The led lights above reflecting off the wall almost feel like a lazy photoshop filter but that's just how it blended with the natural light from the nearby window. My milky white cheeks draped freely into flexed thighs clenched tightly together fading abruptly into obsidian knee high socks.

My wispy arms desperately reach back for my helpless toes, gripping tight stimulating the perky veins. I must have tinkered for half an hour so the vintage maroon sweatshirt softly falls back and rides up my smooth backline. It feels weird to explain but seeing that smooth thin waist in frame for a moment and knowing I have captured it forever sent a surge rushing through my throbbing cock.

Growing up I had experienced the feeling where there isn't time to stop and everything comes rushing out in a frantic explosion. With practice I of course learned how to pace myself and control it but never like this with no sudden warning. My shaky arm never made contact but the pure sight of the image stimulated everything unlike anything I've encountered. Luckily I was able to flip over onto my back allowing my well defined abs to act as an emergency crash site for the thick load breezing out pooling inside my pulsing rib cage.

My next thought after catching my breath and making sure no one saw me was I must be gay or at least pretty gay. Reflecting months later, the more I see this image I end up realizing it's also about the power over powerful men and even alpha types used to getting their way. Maybe from feeling bullied or powerless but I know I'm a male and I still find the image sexy. I'm only fairly certain at first but I know other men could feel the same even straight men. Turns out I was right.

To these beasts I must now automatically submit to every dark thought primitive man and beyond have ever thought. At first I get off onfeeling what this desire is like for a change but there is the double edge sword of the unwanted attention and pushing that boundary too far. Hearing the truth is a strange obsession but it also helps weed out what I don't want or need and that's someone to control me. I hope it helps me how I treat others in the future. Some fun at first that maybe I can fool some creeps that I'm a female and deflect those degrading comments secretly onto me.

I wondered if I would get any serious replies. I staggered to the bathroom arched in a limbo angle to avoid dripping my hands free explosion. My knees shake as I know what I want to do next. I need to see if anyone else would enjoy my pose and as they see my photo I want to know if they are actually going to self release their tension. I only expected 5-10 replies and to probably get flagged but I eventually attached my image to an ad pretending to be a seductive muse looking for a dark creative artist. I found I liked being watched by all these strangers anonymously but knowing I would never put myself in danger or do what they wanted. 5-10 was closer to 200 replies. The entire month left me engulfed in a steady stream of persistent strangers trying to talk me into meeting in person for photo shoots and usually by the 3rd message some sort of specific sexual act.

I almost felt addicted to reading the desires and make some think I was interested as my only way to hear the truth. I wish I could trust a photographer to act out some of my desires but humans are scary. This is where I belong back to reality and back into the shadows. In my regular life I feel like a spider in the corner of the room watching everyone exist. Maybe that's how the cleaner stories started. Some days I hope the weird phase is over and others I wonder how far I will go next time...