Send in the Clowns Ch. 01

Cindy said "Then she gets blamed for the wholllle thing. Priya told me that the Mainstream Media is already planning to call it 'Sharon's Shutdown' if she doesn't sign it."

"Then why have SBI Director Masters testify, if the Budget is secretly a done deal?" Tanya said.

I replied "To get his positions on SBI issues on record. And if he says anything they don't like... and I'll bet a hundred dollars that the Black Caucus and Katherine Woodburn will find things to not like... then they can use it against him later on."

"Maybe it's something Governor Marshall will sign." Tanya said.

"In that case," said Teresa, "why not just get it out there and have her sign it and be done with it, before someone changes their mind? Then they can move on to other things, and the People of the State can breathe a sigh of relief. And don't tell me that any of them outside the radical Leftists want any drama."

"All I can sayyyyy," drawled the Chief, "is that they'd better have a Plan Beeeee if the Governor does veto it, and it had better be fooool-prooffff."

"But Chief!" I quipped. "Fools are so damned ingenious! And the State Legislature is full of them!" Everyone laughed at that.

"No doubt about that, Crowbar." growled Sheriff Griswold. "But I think you're all wasting time talking about secret (air quotes) 'done deals'. There is no deal."

"What is your secret source telling you, Sheriff?" asked the Chief.

"I don't have one of those anymore, since Val Jared left." said the Sheriff. "But the Iron Wolf is essentially correct: if one faction was able to get a deal done, an opposing faction would leak it in hopes of torpedoing it. So if they had something, they'd be rushing it through."

"And my other reason for believing there is no deal," continued Our Sheriff, "is because if there was one, the Iron Crowbar's sources would've told him, and he would've told me after being bribed with some of that Barrell Seagrass Rye I picked up the other day."

Everyone chuckled, and I nodded vigorously in agreement. I said "Wild Turkey Rare Breed Rye is also a very effective bribe."

"Who is Don's secret source?" Cindy asked.

I said "I have two: Cerone and Molinari. And yes, they are the 'Plan B'; if nothing is done, or if the Governor does the right thing and vetoes some wacky thing Wilson Hammonds and the Black Caucus put in the bill, then they're going to exercise some real political power and make some Legislators offers they can't refuse."

"They're gonna threaten 'em?" Tanya asked in disbelief.

"Well, not their lives." I said. "I'll just say this... Cerone and Molinari have the photos and the videos, and they know where the bodies are buried..."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Hello and welcome to Fox University Sunrise!" said Catrina Pierce at 8:00am, Monday, March 15th, from the Fox studios. "I'm Catrina Pierce, and with me from now on is Priya Ajmani. More on that in minute. Good morning, Priya, and congratulations!"

"Thank you, Catrina! And good morning everyone!" said a cheerful Priya. "Here's what's in the news. The State Legislature has two weeks left to pass a Budget before this year's session ends, but the Committees responsible for working out a Budget are not even meeting."

Catrina: "Sources tell Fox Eight News that many Legislators believe that no compromise Budget bill can be worked out. The far-Left Democrats, led by the Black Caucus and hard-line 'Squad' wannabees like Nina Cortez of East Midtown, are dug in against any Legislation that funds the Police or the SBI, now that Wes Masters has been named SBI Director. And Wilson Hammonds and the Republican Establishment are at near-all-out-war with more Conservative Legislators over cracking down on Illegal Immigration."

Priya: "Sources also tell Fox Eight News that the Committees are not meeting because a number of them are on a Select Committee that is putting together legislation that will re-draw the political map of the State. Among the ideas being discussed are merging our County with Nextdoor County and Coltrane County, as well as separating our Town & County's governments again."

Catrina: "And if that occurs, then according to sources, the new larger county would have three State House Representatives elected county-wide and not by distinct Districts. According to the reports, that idea will be applied to several jurisdictions, including Midtown, Westphalia and Eastphalia, and The City."

Priya: "And in local news, the University announced that they have completed their ten million dollar renovation of University Museum, and that it now has the security to house the famed Statue of Artemis currently being held by the Pottsville Museum. The Statue of Artemis was discovered by a University archeological expedition in 1954 and was originally kept at the University Museum, but was later moved to Pottsville, allegedly for safety reasons."

Catrina: "The University Museum is also hosting the 'Lost Greuze', a previously unknown painting by Jean-Baptiste Greuze that was discovered among the works owned by Ruth Heidelmann Baker, who as a child escaped Holland during the Nazi occupation in the 1940s. There will be an auction for the 'Lost Greuze' that could fetch as much as a million dollars."

After going through other news, Catrina said "And I want to congratulate Priya and welcome her to Fox University Sunrise as my permanent co-host!"

Priya: "It's wonderful to be a full-time part of the Fox Sunrise team. And for those wondering, our former colleague Meredith Peller originally came from Fox Midtown, and she is returning to Fox Midtown. We'll be getting reports from her, especially on the crisis in the State Legislature as time grows short to pass a new Budget..."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"And now we know." I said as my Angels and I watched the broadcast in my office prior to the Angels Meeting. "They're trying to sneak the redistricting through, and under the People's noses."

"Why would you say they're (air quotes) 'sneaking' it through?" asked Cindy Ross.

"Because KXTC didn't mention it at all." I replied. "They let KFXU get a big-time scoop over them. And don't tell me KXTC did not know... Katherine Woodburn owns them, and she's one of the top three Democrats in all the State Legislature. It would be inexcusably incompetent of her to not know what was going on."

Tanya said "I guess the question is why they're trying to sneak it past us. I mean, it doesn't change the Legislature itself... does it?"

"Oh, it absolutely does." I replied. "For example, our County, Nextdoor County, and Coltrane County are three separate State House districts but in one State Senate District. Our State Rep is Republican Billy Williams, Nextdoor County's is Republican Peter Long Cox, and Coltrane County's is Democrat Isaac Jacobson, who was Speaker when the Dems controlled the State House, and is pretty moderate, even mildly conservative."

YIC: "If our counties are combined, what would be correct is that there be three separate and distinct districts within the larger county. But what they're trying to sneak through is that the district would be the same as the State Senate district, but the entire district would vote for three State Reps."

'Why is that a problem?" Cindy asked, almost cynically.

"Because it rigs the game." I replied, perhaps a bit strongly. "Look, here's another example. Midtown has several districts, and Palmyra County is its own separate district, and Republican... but it's part of a larger State Senate district that includes some of Midtown."

YIC: "Now if the consolidation plan goes through, Palmyra County could be in a larger district that would also contain districts like Inner Midtown and East Midtown, which are 91% or more Democrat. And the voters of Inner Midtown would get to vote on who would be Palmyra's State Rep."

YIC: "So right now, our area has two Republican State Reps and one Democrat. But Katherine Woodburn keeps winning the State Senate spot by fairly strong margins. So we could end up going from two-to-one Republicans to 0-3; i.e. all three Reps being Democrats. And it's much more likely that Palmyra would find its very Republican district being represented by someone from Inner Midtown, and a radically Leftist Democrat, at that."

"That can't be legal." Teresa said.

"If it passes, someone will have to sue, and go through the hoops of the Courts." I replied.

Tanya said "So depending on how they go about it, the State House could go from very nearly a 50-50 even split to well over 60% Democrat."

"But it could end up being all Republican in some places, like here, and Westphalia-Eastphalia." Cindy protested.

"Good grief." I muttered, then said: "Cindy, I can bring up a State map and show you that for every Republican gained, three are lost if this goes through and the district lines remain the same. The bottom line is that the Democrats are driving this because it benefits them, and they're not being open nor transparent about it."

Cindy stood up. "Okay, I'll go talk to the Chief while you have your meeting."

"Before you go," Teresa said, "I wanted to ask about Priya and Meredith, and what really happened there."

Cindy sat back down, then said "Priya told me that the efforts of the KFXU brass to keep Catrina and Meredith together did not work, and Catrina actually submitted her resignation. So they scrambled and got Meredith her old job at Fox Midtown back, and Catrina withdrew her notice."

"Where would Catrina have gone?" asked Tanya. "I'm sure she has a non-compete for at least six months."

I said "She couldn't work for competing networks, but there's a total lack of legal clarity on whether or not she could work for Alison McFarland's 'Unresolved' podcasts. But the bottom line is that she was willing to quit KFXU rather than continue to work with Meredith."

Teresa said "Cool beans. Okay, Cindy, now tell me about getting the road paved to your property on the mountain top."

Cindy's eyes lit up a wee bit as she said "Consider me surprised, but they're starting that today. It'll be a few days, but once they're done I can get the ball rolling on clearing the land and building the house."

The Green Crowbar got up and exited before I thought to ask her about all the tire tracks and footprints on her property. And after she was gone, Tanya turned to me and said "Okay, Don, spill it. You knew what was going on, didn't you?"

"And you didn't say a word during Bettina's broadcast." Teresa said. Angels ganging up on me, my Lord...

"Hear me now and believe me later." I replied. "No one has told me anything. Now I do keep my eyes and ears open, and I see and hear little things here and there. For example, when Katherine Woodburn makes several trips up here during the Legislative session to (air quotes) 'meet with donors', but she's meeting with Mrs. Myrtle L. James, who is not a big Woodburn donor much less a fan, I can draw some con-cluuuuu-sions."

"We should start calling you 'the Iron Sponge'." Tanya replied with a twinkle in her eye. "You absorb everything."

"I yam what I yam." I said in an excellent imitation of the legendary Popeye. "Okay, let's start absorbing some things about this Police Force, so we can run it properly, eh?..."

Part 3 - The Statue of Artemis and the 'Lost Greuze'

At 9:00am (Monday, March 15th), FBI Special Agent In Charge Jack Muscone joined Chief Moynahan, Deputy Chief Tanya Muscone, Lt. Cmdr. Teresa Croyle and myself in the Main Conference Room. As he came in, he announced "Ladies and gentlemen, Supervisory Special Agent Julius Jefferson!"

We all applauded as Julius Jefferson came in behind Jack. FBI Special Agent Tracy Stone also came in and we all sat down... well, I (yes, me, Your Iron Crowbar) poured coffee for everyone as Teresa asked "So you're Karina White's replacement, Julius?"

"Not to that level." said Julius. "I'm generally going to be in charge of the City office, but realistically I'm doing what I was doing before, just making a little more money at it."

Jack Muscone said "Julius is under consideration for the ASAC position, now that Karina has retired and gone to work for the SBI. And so is SSA Ted Crenshaw in the Southport office. But it's unlikely the ASAC position will be filled at all for a while."

I said "Unless the Swamp Frogs try to sneak one of their slugs in there."

"If they were going to do that," Jack said, "they'd probably find a way to move me out and replace me with one of their own. Then you'd get to work with Bob Rovers in The City and Andrew Parsons in Southport."

"Uhhh." I groaned. "I think I need some Pepto-Bismol or something. My tummy is feeling very queasy, all of a sudden."

"Let's moooove a-lonnnng." drawled the Chief. "What brought you here to-dayyyy, and why did you want me to personally at-tennnd this mee-tinnng?"

Hmm, was that irritation in our Chief's gravelly voice? Teresa, Tanya, and I were very surprised, judging by their looks and how I felt internally. Jack Muscone was also a bit at a loss.

"Er, sorry, Chief." Muscone said adroitly. "Yes, something pretty big has come our way, and I wanted to tell all of you all at once about it."

After a pause to look at us all, he started: "You all heard about the 'Lost Greuze' that's going to be auctioned off?" We all nodded and Jack continued: "We've gotten some intel information that there is a scheme to steal the 'Lost Greuze', and perhaps the Statue of Artemis."

For some reason, perhaps to be dramatic, he stopped speaking. It took six second of silence before the Chief finally said "And?"

"Aa-nnd..." said Jack, his attempt to be dramatic beginning to fail like air leaking out of a balloon, "it's who is behind the plot that is the story: George Aurus." Even that name failed to 'move the needle'. We all sat silently.

"What?" Muscone said, and a bit cattily. "Not interested?"

"Not to speak for my bosses," said Teresa, "but I think we're just waiting for you to get on with it and tell us the rest of it."

"Yezzz." growled the Chief acerbically. "Please doooo."

Muscone looked miffed, so SSA Julius Jefferson took it up: "We received reports that Aurus has put together a gang of youths, and has taught them circus skills that would enable them to penetrate secure facilities like a museum and steal valuable artifacts. This gang is suspected of burgling a museum in Tennessee and one in San Francisco------"

I'd held up my hand, and Julius stopped talking. "My apologies for interrupting, but I have to ask before you go any further: from exactly where did you get this intel?"

Jack Muscone said "It was part of the daily brief I get every day, and every other SAC gets. This particular item was emphasized because the Statue of Artemis is in this State, and the Lost Greuze is in the University Museum's vault."

"And who gave the producers of that report that intel?" I asked.

"I don't know." said Muscone. "Data comes in to Washington from all over the country, and is processed by our top intel guys in Washington. It doesn't get all that granular on who specifically sent it in, and it could be a composite of many bits of data."

"Like our Intel Center does, Don." Tanya said helpfully.

It was times like these that if I wore glasses I would take them off and clean them while uttering epithets not suitable for publication on this family-oriented website. Instead I said "Okay, I apologize for not making myself crystal clear about what I'm asking. Let me ask another way: exactly where is George Aurus now?"

Muscone said "We have no idea. Like you're fond of saying, Don, if we knew where he was we wouldn't be here talking to you. We'd be out there arresting him."

"Yes, you would." I said. "And that's exactly my point. How can you, meaning the FBI, say with such certainty that it's George Aurus? And how does the FBI know he's training youths in circus skills? That is mighty granular and specific. It tells me that someone does know where Aurus is. So why isn't he being arrested already?"

I went on: "And George Aurus escaped well over a year ago, and I've been repeatedly told he's in the wind with no clue to his whereabouts." (Author's note: 'Red Squad', Ch. 04.) "Now, all of a sudden, we're getting this very detailed information about him, his activities, and his possible whereabouts? Am I the only one here who finds that strange?"

In the utter silence of the room, I continued: "This is not directed at any of you personally; in fact, it's a good 'teachable moment' for you, Julius, and you, Tracy. My point is that you've got to question that intel. Someone needs to call back and ask 'Really? How are you getting this?', and then evaluate to see if it's realistic and credible, or not."

Julius Jefferson said: "Commander, I understand what you're saying, and I agree with you about its granularity. But do you really expect us to call Washington and ask about the veracity of every single piece of info they send us?"

"He does with us." Tanya said. She was trying to be helpful, but she was not helping.

I said "No, not every single thing. But you've got to spot potential red flags like this. They lead to potential Swamp Frog activity, and I'm not being paranoid when I say that. There may be a real threat to the Museum, but I think there's something else going on, here."

Jack Muscone said "I'll see what I can find out about the origins of the intel. In the meantime, we're going to brief the Campus Police and visit the Museum and check it out. Do you guys want to be a part of that?"

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

11:00am, Monday, March 15th. The briefing was being held in a relatively secure conference room at the University Conference Center. I led the TCPD delegation that included Deputy Chief Tanya P. Muscone, Lt. Cmdr. Croyle, Captains Claire Michaels, Hewitt, and Abrams, and Lieutenants Jerome Davis, Mary Milton, and Micah Rudistan. Sheriff Griswold and Chief Deputy Cindy Ross were also in attendance.

From the Campus Police came Commissioner and Provost Marshal Bob 'Brick' Briscoe and Lt. Bill Hanson, and Cadet Officers Tatum and Channing (Author's note: 'Return To Point Hollow' for Tatum; 'Jupiter Rising' for Channing).

The Federal Agencies were represented by FBI SAC Jack Muscone, Homeland Security SSA Miles Winters, FBI SSA Julius Jefferson, and FBI Special Agent Tracy Stone.

The SBI was represented by Lieutenants Karina White and Norm Chow, and Agents Terence Johnson and James Tarleton. And somewhat to my surprise, Pottsville Police Lieutenant Shane O'Brady was there. He could've logged in as an SBI Reserve Lieutenant, but had chosen not to do so.

"I'm the liaison between the Pottsville Museum and University Museum for security matters." said O'Brady when we spoke. "And just so you know, our State Rep, Wilson Hammonds, is absolutely furious about moving the Statue of Artemis back to the University."

"But he couldn't stop it from happening." I said.

"True," said O'Brady, "but if something happened... say, the theft of the 'Lost Greuze'... then he could use that to try to keep the Statue of Artemis in Pottsville."

"You think there's a real threat to it?" I asked in a surprised voice.

"Somebody thinks there is." said O'Brady. "Enough for both my Chief and Inspector Maxwell to ask me to attend this meeting. And you have a lot of your Officers here. Do you think there's a threat?"

I said "They're here to hear about another potential threat, if the FBI guys say what I think they'll say. And by the way... you're doing a lot of SBI work lately.. Thinking of taking that 'Reserve' out of your job description?" I was grinning, as I was needling Shane, but he took me seriously.