All Comments on 'Separate Vacations: Parallel Lives'

What a great story. Thanks.

imagine taking this slut back .

insanity .

He was the primary care giver yet he leaves the house? Talk about a white knighting piece of shit (both the authors and the mc).

She manipulates the system, perjures herself to public officials in order to take his kids away, has legally proven her toxic view of family roles, has a whoring mother with toxic views about the male gender, yet they get to keep the house and the kids, while he gets to leave the home.

Yes, equality and justice is strong in this story... if strong meant the viscosity of diarhea.

Taking back a delusional inconsiderate cunt that suddenly wants him back and understands equality AFTER he becomes rich is the cherry on top.

Both authors of this story are the walking manifestation of societal cancer. They both romanticise abhorrent behaviour, inequality, mental diseases, whore culture (mother in law, seeking big dicks is more important than respecting your partner and seeing not sleeping around on your partner as a sacrifice one makes that needs to bring high accolades from their partners for not doing that), physical and mental abuse of a man with no consequences for the woman, and the list goes on.

Both men and women will read this story and some of them will take this to heart. They will make choices based on the "warm feelings" they've gotten from this story. The men will accept horrible behaviours and find themselves trapped in deadly poisonous relationships. The women will see no need to improve their behaviour because it's up to men to improve but if they do make the slightest improvement they'll expect red carpet treatment.

Both are riddled with unrealistic expectations and while the men and women that actually like this crap are responsible for their actions, the authors are also responsible for promoting and portraing cancerous behaviour as something good, something to want in life.

May your lives be forever filled with the very things you romanticise. May you receive the same amount of respect you have shown men and women in this story. When bad things happen to you, a small bit of justice will be carried out.

To those that say, it's just a story, it's not that bad. People don't have to read it and it cant have that kind of effect.

So are Mein Kampf, Atlas Shrugged, The Eugenics Review, ANY religious / faith based / spiritual book and many more. We all know nothing bad happens when people take books like that for granted right? It's not like people unjustly suffer and die at the hands for followers of any of said books, right?

After their divorce got public attention CPS was called to investigate the actions of the parents.

The result of the investigation was horrible. Both parents were deemed unfit parents for their views and actions.

The father lost his parental rights for not protecting the girls from both the views of their mother and grandmother as well as for abandoning them in their care even though he was the main caregiver.

She lost her parental rights for trying to imprint on their daughters gender discriminating views as well as unhealthy family roles, exposing the children to strange men in a familial setting and parental alienation. She was also charged with perjury and sentenced to 12 months in prison.

Nobody came unscathed out of this.

Both her employer and her lawyers took a big hit to their reputation. They also garnered attention from law and fiscal enforcement. Investigations revealed a dangerous pattern of illegal behaviour resulting in the dissolution of the companies, jail sentences for all involved proportionate to their involvement, disbarment for the lawyers and banning from the industry for the land developers, reopening of cases where either or both were involved and much more.

Lew's reputation as a divorce lawyer tanked. He was seen as a lawyer that does not care about children's welfare only about the division of assets and was painted as a shyster. Those in his area had to choose to either publicly disavow him or be branded as someone with the same type of morals.

It took years of counselling for the girls to gain a sence of normalcy and detach themselves from their mother's and grandmother's views and become healthy and productive members of society, both going into seeking carreers to fight for children's rights, one as a child psychologist and one as a lawyer, later forming an NGO to further their cause. Both refused to maintain a relationship with their parents as they were disgusted with what they had to endure because of them and how they would have become had they not been saved from them.

I really liked this story, but writing her sleeping with the guy and calling him.

No way any guy could ever come back from that episode.

I know its in the story to up the agony level, but really again its a bridge to far.

The relation would never repair after it.

excellent writing.

Faltó lo mas importante, que muestre él sus nuevas dotes tántricas con su puta ex esposa hasta desmayarla

"Is that why you are so adamant that he pay the bills?" - I think I may have said this before, but if SHE pays the bills, he doesn't have to touch her money.

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"You just had to try to own me, didn't you?" - Expecting her to pay her fair share isn't "owning her."

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"You should have done it for me, not because you wandered into it." - No, he should have done it as he did, for himself.

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"You should have done it for me, not because you wandered into it." - Yes, especially since he met Vic at Blockbuster.

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"He had achieved his lifelong dream, and she wasn't beside him." - She wasn't beside him because she never believed in his dream.

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I still would have preferred him ending up with the other writer.

I read this story for the first time 3 years ago. Looking thru the comments noticing some very long comments/reviews. Most of them miss the true meaning and point of the story. It's not just a cheating wife story, it's a true love story about a very mixed up disturbed woman because of disturbed mother's influence.

The only thing that bothered me was the ending with the threat of the gun. But that's how our writer wrote it, So it turns out as an RAAC story because true love finally prevails after the wife gets her head on straight. Kudos to our author who has written many fine stories and they're free, so what's to complain about?

Always a great story, thanks.

It was well written, that's the best I can do. I wish someone could explain in the sequels. Why he reconciles with the narcissistic raging lunatic.

Good story, but the wife was just a little too nuts/evil to reconcile with. In my opinion. But still a good story.

An emotional rollercoaster that took me from rears to unbelievable anger and back to tears. People might think she was a wacky bitch but you take any girl and have her raised by that psychotic man hating mother of hers and I guarantee that in reality you would end up with a psychotic insane and violent lesbian. At least at the end she made her way out of her mothers shadow although I do wonder what will happen when her mother gets released and comes home and find Bruce. Great job with this story and changing it up to keep it a great read.

The author once again paints a portrait that condones abhorrent behavior by the female towards the male main character that the readers would be sharpening their pitchforks for if the roles were reversed. Much like Let Go, it’s the ex that has to change for the female to accept him. Using the mother as the reason for her horrible treatment of the husband was weak. After all wasn’t she supposed to be an intelligent, successful businesswoman?

In the end, there’s no empathy for either of the main characters. So what if they love each other? She had clearly no respect for him and he could never trust her.

WOW!!!

Stupid original premise. Really really stupid middle and completely stupid ending.

The story is completely idiotic. To even contemplate a reconciliation is to show complete incompetence as a human being.

poor little weak assed whiners over what a real man does, as opposed to the fictional one in their heads

Four stars. I have no problem with the story, and in fact enjoyed reading it. However, the sheer immensity of unforced errors made the reading difficult at times. This story really should be pulled down, proofread, and reposted. Wrong names, typos, wrong words and other issues really interfered with reading enjoyment. I think this was my second reading, though it might have been number three.

JPB

I'm at a loss to know how to comment, so I'll just say it's so YUK I'm lost for words....

First and foremost a recognition to DQS for the original writing!

Second, to the critics, you're all as bat-shit-crazy as the mother-in-outlaw.

And thirdly, and while lastly but definately not leastly, I think that this is a marvelous extension/ending to this tale.

What I enjoyed most was how this time the playing field was a bit more level. In the original it was a Tiffany-Goliath swatting a bothersome mosquito who kept buzzing in her ear and driving her to distraction. In this one it was Tiffany-Goliath versus Bruce (Banner) Davis-HULKified. Both well-written and satisfying conclusions.

Oh my God.. so good, no it is great. I am very emotional after reading this. Good for you for this story. My true favorite so far. Great creation and a beautiful much needed ending... just wow. Going to be tough to beat. All the best!

They don’t write them like this anymore.

Thank you for a brilliant story

Scores 5/5 deserves more

You had a really good story going here until you decided to turn it into just another RAAC story.

Great version of the story! I enjoyed it greatly!!

Unbelievable, but happy ending?

(I lived part of it and was destroyed)

Great story. Better than the original. Fleshed out. Remember to the btb crowd: she did NOT cheat. Things got tense in Hawaii when she was with the asshole. But it never went that far. She only slept with him once the divorce was set in stone (in the original when the final decree came down). Yes she was nuts. Yes she disrespected him and treated him poorly. Yes her lewd sex calls while being screwed.by MR Big D$ck were rough. But he didn't need to pickup the call.each time.or.just hang up. He also fized that problem anyways. Remember they were divorced and they were both hurting. She got remarried and it was basically loveless. Call her a bitch. Call her a psycho. But she was not a cheater. They both had a lot of emotional wreckage to go through. Her.ending scene was over the top but in line though more polished than the original. Quite a sad but complex tale. This wasn't a RAAC. Both paid the price. She never got over him. He had an easier time cutting her out than her accepting it. It was not over adultery. Doubtful that would have happened given her growing up and her father. Her mother was just vile and a major cause of her mental trust issues. Unique premise.

Awesome story, could not put it down!!!!

Thanks

Up to a point, Bruce seemed to be regaining his manhood. Then, he lost all again, crying like a baby and giving in to the Witch., again. He can't resist being on the same level. He needs to submit and be abused. A masochist that found a sadist.

I liked it.

Until you named her, i was positive that the editor was Natalie, from Rehnquist's 'What You Wish For'. This was very well done - even as a re-read it held my attention and kept me interested. It was very much a qhml1 story, rather than a DQS story, but it was better, i think, for the differences. Hats off to you!

Much better than original

This whole thing feels like a Pyrrhic victory for them. Bruce finally gets her to be the wife he wants, after so many years of abuse, suffering, having her fucked six to ways to Sunday by Mr Big Dick, husband number 2, and the random dates filling that need. She's still a fucking basket case although she seems to have finally realized he doesn't want her for her fucking money nor does he want to stop her being her own person; he just wants her to be fully committed. I would like to say this could have all been avoided but the root of the problem was her mother fucking her up in the head over the years and sadly I don't think it could have went down much differently. A reckoning was inevitable especially with that lunatic feeding poison into her continuously. Such a shame but at least it had a happy ending, right?

Oh yeah and to those that say she didn't cheat, let me remind you of that bit at the end of Stephen's reminiscing where she was intimate with him (they kissed and fondled) and she said she wanted him but not while the rings are on. Technically you could argue she didn't cheat because she didn't fuck him, but she damn well wanted to. And she did on the same day her divorce was granted, which only shows she was gagging for it the whole time but that small sliver of decency had somehow stopped her all this time while married. Not exactly inspiring my trust.

Could have been a great story, but boy, did it get long-winded and repetitive and stupid. Why would this writer want to make the main character out to be such an idiot? What's his motivation for pretending the MC is smart in all these other ways and yet so completely idiotic in reading women. And the message to all the female dogs out there that you can run around loose and not have to suffer the consequences, that everything will be okay in the end, is just insipid and pathetic. As is the complete disregard for the STD cesspool floating around the ex-wife that she would have passed on to him.

The moral of the story is if you have enough money you can be a complete moron and a mentally bent bitch and that makes it all okay.

I do enjoy when our hero gives mr big an asskicking. To bad dear old mum wasn’t safistically used by her cellmate in the joint or shanked maybe

I enjoyed the original. I think this was was better. Thanks

I'm so tired of stories about wimpish men reconciling with complete bitches

Well done QHML1. I understand your motivation to write this story completely. Nice job. Well written lots of stars from me

A very, very good version of the story. I think I like this best, even.

I'm conflicted. I think that this version is slightly better than the original, at least in terms of entertainment because of all of the antics in the middle of the story, but I also think it takes longer to get to what is essentially the same lame ass resolution. It's like the kind you find in a hollywood movie where everything needs to be resolved in the final 20 minutes. Personally I think this story should have ended before the divorce because it's obvious how incredibly desperate Tiffany is, even if she is masking it by reaching for anger to cover her feelings. The fact that she so stubbornly holds on to her mental issues even though she obviously KNOWS that she has them is really difficult to deal with as well as Bruce still holding any sort of torch for her. I think that this is one of the reasons why there are so many angry reviews (well, aside from general immaturity from readers) - in both stories, Tiffany went way, way, way too far, for too long and Bruce still just accepting her back when she finally gets past her mental trauma is a bridge too far for most to cross. I personally feel like she needed to either have this "Come to Jesus" moment earlier in the story, or her antics should have been toned down to be less spiteful and maybe just a bit more pathetic and sad.

Prose that flows well doesn't make this anything other than a cliché filled, mawkish, Hallmark caricature of a story. Just a few of the thing that harm the story....

1. The writing regarding the law is completely wrong. Divorces are straight forwardly settled by relatively clear legal principles. The property side seldom involves much unless there are hidden assets or a dispute over some item of separate property. If there are children, there is a schedule of child support, and visitation and custody are also simple, unless there is something seriously wrong with one or both parents. Judges don't want anything to do with the details of these issues, and so if the parties haven't agreed in advance, they go to mediation. Only if mediation does not work will a judge hear the matter, and he'll be passed off because the parties are clogging his docket. Judges DO NOT try to save marriages or comment on how the parties "love" one another, nor do they require counseling unless there is a legal requirement (which would only be special interest legislation obtained by lobbyists). Given the assembly line nature of the practice, there are no "super lawyers " . The way someone gets a slight advantage is if the other party's lawyer doesn't know the law. Even then, it makes little difference. Almost everything in the story involving the law or lawyers was nonsense. BTW, no major law firm would tolerate a "Middleton " or have knowingly have a retreat involving adultery.

2. The recurrence of the "big dick" myth in so many stories only indicates that authors here don't have big dicks. If they did have them they would know that it reflects an ignorance of women and anatomy.

3. The author obviously has feminists living rent free in his head, as indicated by the ridiculous repetition that marriage is supposed to be an "equal partnership ". On the other hand, Tiff is a caricature of feminism. It's all shallow or absurdly unrealistic.

4. The husband's continued professions that he "loves" Tiffany in spite of her long term abusive behavior before, during , and after the divorce makes him look like a mental case.

5. The inclusion of the fight, with the husband prevailing because of his super duper blackbelts and professional fighting was boilerplate lw crap. At least he wasn't a former Seal. In a real bar fight, the willingness to be inhumanely violent usually prevails over sports training.

There's more, but it doesn't matter...

This is better than the original, but.....

Character development of Bruce is still weak and shallow. As the Anon below already stated, he is holding a torch for years for Tiffany. Normally, I could understand this, as it happens everyday. In THIS case, it would never happen. After the continued DOMESTIC ABUSE and mental cruelty that Bruce was placed under for YEARS, culminating in that vacation and the divorce, he finally snapped (Yes, I use the word SNAPPED) and getting free would have pushed him to run from her, not hold the torch. Per the story, he went through counseling, and the counselor would have EASILY seen it. There was 0% chance of ANY RAAC in this situation, even with this authors rendition.

Tiffany's character development in this story was at best stereotypical, with reinforcement at almost every turn. The ONLY remarkable thing was that the author actually showed a TINY bit of maturity as she grew older. HOWEVER, Tiffany was supposed to be an intelligent, smart woman. She would KNOW that her mother was TOXIC, and the storyline proved that time and time again. Yet, Tiffany did NOTHING to separate herself from that. Not relatable. Tiffany went through YEARS of therapy, and still hung on the issue of control, finally letting go at the end. This is not relatable either. But hey, the writer needs a story.....

So, all in all....the biggest flaw in this whole story is that this should have been an "Escape from Abuse situation" and not an RAAC. It should have gone way different.

Well done

What an awesome story, and a great rewrite.

Thank you for sharing

BRAVO, when I first started reading I was skeptical. How in the world could this story be told differently ?? Well it can be and was, end result the same but a totally different path to get to the same place.

I've read the original as well as this version (twice). Both are excellent but I lean in Q's direction. Thank you both for your tales! 5 stars

somewhere east of Omaha

WOW,

Best thing I have read on here yet!!

Good Work !

Great read but I wonder if she would have proposed if he was still a Neville Nobody with a shit job?⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

During her counseling she said she remained faithful even though she was tempted. What a load of bull, she allowed big dick to feel her boobs, kiss him back, stroke his dick, did things with him him a married woman shouldn't. Is that faithful? Just one of those author's that assume a wife cheated only if she had sex. Just goes to shows how little marriage vows meant to alot of people this days. And what's with this big cock trope with all this author's this days. Unless the wife's a size Queen which the story doesn't imply her to be. But I guess the author just went along with it like the original story

Always on point with your wonderful talent

I gave this 4 stars due to the writing & story telling. However, within the story, some of the characters are between somewhat & totally f'd up. There's this woman who Bruce & daughters took a grand vacation with. Then she asks him to marry & spits out all kinds of shit when he wants to take things slow & see if they've chemistry except for their daughters & the bedroom.

There's his wife, Tiffany, who's so full of herself & demeaning, belittling him throughout the years. Not to mention her thoughts of him wanting to control her & her money's her money. Until he writes the best selling novel, followed by another 1 or 2, then she's wanting him to remarry her. Say what?!?!

Bruce, who's been severely hurt by his wife, accepts her marriage proposal & tosses in the prenup in the fire to burn. For the bitch she was, this wasn't too fast? No slowly reconnecting to find out if she really changed?

It's only on the strength of the writing that this stays 4 stars; the characters in the story & the immediate reconciliation almost led me to reduce this to 3. And I'm unsure I shouldn't still. Bob

a fairly long story wirh many bumps and detours but a wonderful happy ending.

Love this. Life is messy.

Taking DQS's story and making it into another great story from a great writer. You keep us all turning the pages waiting to see what is going to happen next. Thank you.

Очень понравился ваш вариант!

When I first read this, I gave it 5 stars, because of writing quality. On second re-read, I'm downgrading to 3 stars, barely. First, the more I think, the more I get disgusted with this ridiculous femme-centric garbage fantasy about "Oh this man loves this ONE woman ONLY his entire life and doesn't want anyone else". It's stupid, it's not realistic on vast majority of the cases, and it's unfair to men. Its only purpose (as is of many other garbage things in culture) is to give women ego boost.

/

Secondly, she hurt him tremendously, but didn't get properly hurt in return other than having some polish scratched off of her earlier wins at hurting him. She never even acknoweledged even when doing final proposal that she was a sadistic bitch or apologized for the pain she DELIBERATELY inflicted. Just as usual blamed someone else (mommy issue this time).

/

Third, Lew reconciling with betraying wife.

@Ocker53 - of course we all know she would NEVER have proposed again if he wasn't a super successful super famouse super rich writer.

Перечитал 2 раз и вынужден снизить оценку. Первый раз понравился из-за того, что намного больше событий и эмоций чем в оригинале. Но теперь, увидел, что в результате злодей, то есть жена, все равно выиграла!! Она унизила его, изменила ему открыто, уничтожила его душу и разум, а потом всё равно получила счастье с ним, когда он смог встать на ноги с колен.

Было бы лучше если бы он послал ее или же просто пустил себе пулю в лоб, чтобы избавиться от неё! Она эгоистка, которая хочет лишь своего счастья и ей всегда было наплевать на него

Loved the story, well sobe but I can't believe in the reconciliation she was just too evil. Other than being beautiful she had no draw to make him live her that much.

As idiotic as the original. The implausibility of the reconciliation stands out like a radiation trefoil on a container of waste fissionables.

Probably the best written pile of festering hog excrement on the site.

Wow !

What an opus... this was well worth the length in order to really tell this 5-star story.

There are few people who can pull a story like this one together, and really make it work.

You did.

I just reread both versions. Both fives but like the title parallel. Very enjoyable thank you.

It is as implausible as the original on which it is based.

The husband allows himself to be humiliated a million times. He then says that it's over and lets himself be humiliated another million times.

The wife is incredible. She humiliates him a million times and then tells him that she loves him.

I seriously wonder what opinion the author has about the concept of marriage, honor, honesty, love, etc.

When I think about this my legs shake from pure fear.

The characters of lawyers and others are pathetic.

There is no point in the story, the plot and especially the resolution.

Is any part of the story believable?

Definitely not.

I don’t see why the previous writer seems to think the story needs to be plausible - hardly any LW tales are. I read the stories here for enjoyment and this one I enjoyed immensely. It is different from the original, but I feel no need to compare the two. It was fun and received deservedly five stars.

Why do LW stories usually have a man with no spine as the husband?

The wife claimed she was going to hang out with her co worker for a month in Hawaii. Then his daughters telling him she came home with her lipstick smeared pretty much proves she cheated. Whether physically or emotionally cheating is cheating. I include kissing another man in that. The disrespect and animosity the wife showed before and after the trip would have been validation for leaving the cheating and ungrateful woman. The is no way anyone who is not unhinged would take that evil woman back. This story and the other like this have no basis in reality whatsoever. People don't work like this and they certainly would never put up with a woman like her a second time.

I will only give this 3 stars because of the ending. What anon 5 days ago wrote, I totally agree, & would've written if that person didn't beat me to it. (Thanks!) That ending somewhat ruined the story. Bob

You are sorely miss in LW. Have to jump to non human for your latest story.

Yes I follow writers not sections in Lit

this is just example of how young men need to be taught to love and respect themselves with the same effort we as a society drill into young men to love and respect women.. also, perhaps we should also consider drilling into women to love and respect men with the same fervor we impose on young men for women.. perhaps addressing those imbalances may go along way to addressing the gender imbalance, and work towards true equality.. not this selective equality we have at the moment that causes pain and injustice.

WOW!

I’m a big fan of the author, but the RAAC ending in this story is a pile of excrement.

Excellent

This one is better than the original because the husband doesn't accept her behavior easily and is not blackmailed to accept her back in public.

The ex had had more peckers than a prime Birch tree. She boasted about her first lover's size and skills. Most of all she humiliated and dishonored her husband.

How does a husband look past those issues without the images imbedded in his mind?

Still, it was a well written story. Very interesting. 👍

Great story and like better than the original- which I also really liked. However, in real world, he would never get past the fact that she only wanted to reconcile after he became wealthy and is after his money. She is also nuttier than a jar of Planters peanuts with the sex calling and the gun. Having said that it’s fiction and I love the story.

I enjoyed this more than the original, having said that, do you use an editor or even a spell checker? Asain rather than than Asian, peroid rather than period and really and realy next to each other in the same sentence.

The wife's mother being banished from their lives would be non-negotiable as she was responsible (because of her no good bastard of a husband) for making her daughter a head case.

The best moment in the story was when author Bruce was receiving all the kudos of the crowd and Tiff got angry because "That should be me up there with him," and Mona slaps her hard and reads her the riot act.

Real life and a great writer. It was a story of two people plus a supporting cast, who lived a real life and true love with all its short comings.could not stop reading once I started and soon read it again. Loved it 5+.

A great sequal to the original but in both cases I still would have liked to se a "Fuck You" ending.

But as I am not the author ... it was still well written.

Nice shoutout to "An Unexpected Reaction" but you can't fix women like Tiffany. She and her mom both have cluster b dark triad personality disorders and those don't ger better. She'll always treat him badly.

Yeah, she proved that she couldn't change, even after the divorce, Bruce felt too much of a simp and never moved on, which did make the divorce feel pointless because it looked like he kept running back to her. I really don't see the reconciliation, they were never equals, honestly, if not, for the kids, I'm blocking her number and there should have been something to prevent her from contacting him unless it involved the kids and most of the time, it was a waste, Bruce needed to move on, but didn't and that's where he failed.

Well written but frankly illogical ending. The wife is a terminally sociopathic narcissistic bitch... The fundamental shift in her amoral self centered psychotic behavior shown in the last couple of pages makes a good RAAC and is well executed but frankly is specious. Classic sociopathic personality disorders do NOT get better... while they can be responsive to the setting of clear boundary conditions and the constant monitoring and full enforcement of these conditions by the "husband" can be a somewhat viable solution; the sociopath simply cannot unconditionally love their mate as that individual exists in their internal universe as nothing more than a "walking tool" whose acceptance and existence is a function of how well they service the sociopath's emotional impulses of the moment. While she does go through the motions...and she probably believes mistakenly that she can change...she is merely responding to external pressure...there CANNOT BE ANY INTERNAL REMAPING of a fundamental self centered sociopath like the wife described in this tale. The husband may love here...but she functionally cannot love...unconditionally...period.

As such while the RAAC is well written...it is not founded on reality... Sorry...

Still I love this tale even though it is specious logically...

5 stars...

Tiffani's modus operandi seems to be, disrespect him, humiliate him and then tell him she loves him. A good trick that seems to work for her over and over. He falls for it each time. She may be a sociopath?

Prefer the original.This needs revisiting as it as far too many spelling mistakes and it wasn't Mona straightening her hose it was Tiffany.Finaly the holiday itinerary laid out from leaving for New York ,to getting back to Tiffany's cannot be done in three and a half weeks.

Much prefer the original.This needs revisiting for all the spelling mistakes and it wasn't Mona straightening her hose,but Tiffany.Finaly the holiday itinerary laid out from leaving for New York to getting back to Tiffany's cannot be done in three and a half weeks.

Thank you for the story. It's more coherent and realistic than the original, but it never really addressed the disrespect she had shown him, and like the original it has the same shitty ending with the gun. Congratulations on marriage between man, woman and a gun. May you happily live ever after.

Excellent. Loved it!!!

Wtf. U still made the mc a cuckold bitch... totally lost respect for you.

Great story, great ending, thank you.

What did this version add? Why was this necessary? What a waste of my time…

It was just awful.

Love it. 5/5 easily.

I laughed at the comments. These stories were written before the btb crowd came on this site.

Great story.

Well done but more a novel than a story

It was a great story for the first six pages. Then it became dull. Not really sure what it added to the original at that point.

Didn't it have a different ending from the original? It's the same story but longer. I disliked the original and this even more. 1* from me.