All Comments on 'Separate Vacations: Parallel Lives'

Nice. I liked this version also. The original is still my fav... but your talent makes this story so remarkable. Thanks

Wow

Excellent version. As good as the first.

i liked this ending better compared to the original

Superbly written tale of two incredibly stubborn and stupid people who eventually see sense.

LA

For someone as smart as the author claims her to be, she didn't connect...

Still one of the stupidest endings of a LW story in the whole batch. The original was dumb; this is dumber.

I loved the especially when he got balls. Your ending was a bit better but the gun was bit much. I don't think either of them were stupid but each was prideful and not willing to give into demands by the other. At least he had the right idea a married couple are just that a couple, partners you share everything you have together. You make decisions together. You don't take separate vacations. You don't get cozy with some guy or woman you are not married to.

Why do I doubt that either you or the original author knows what love is. Yes her last speech was darn close, but how does that indicate that they were in love at all before. How does this so called love story become one without love. I always believed someone's actions, and I never saw any love till the last paragraph of this 10 page book.

honestly, i wasn't too impressed. for the most part it was just a rehash, with minor changes.

A worthy re-write. I liked it, but it should have been classified as ‘Romance’ rather than LW. 5 stars. BTW, why do the characters swear so much? Is it really necessary?

On second read, I wish the story ended on page 4, the end of the trial. It was time to put the pain behind them. Instead, the story drags on for six more pages intermixed with pain, revenge, and hurtful episodes of childish behavior.

I preferred the "I'm going to therapy" option for Tiff and " I'm taking it slow" but healing for Bruce. They could have simply buried the hatchet, coexisted as parents and focused on the kids. Reconciliation was a unnecessary to bring the story to a satisfying conclusion.

I can't remember reading a better companion story to an excellent lead story. Both main characters had serious issues in DanielQSteel's and the continuation here in the Parallel story they both seem to get their act straightened out. To be honest most of the sex was meaning less in that it was used against their spouse unless it was with another partner and that really fell into the heading of being just sex with no love included.

This is a more extreme version of the DQS original, the characters are more vindictive, stubborn and less likeable and the story unfolds over broader panorama and time frame. In all love/hate relationships there is always an equation in which the chances of reconciliation are inversely proportional to the pain and damage inflicted on each other by the two people involved, and, although this hovers on the brink of going beyond the place from which there is no return. the author just about manages to keep it on the right side of believability. A well written and interesting alternative but I still prefer the original.

LA

DQS did a great job but you murdered it... I love it👊👊

What’s not to like!

BMW Boxster: did her firm give her a motorcycle? Armani or Brooks Brothers, really? Brooks Brothers isn’t in the same universe as Armani; think fine Italian-made versus ersatz Chinese. It’s a wonder that the writer didn’t have them on a formal date to Olive Garden. Despite these and other oddities, I liked this story far more than the original.

Worthless piece of garbage this is.

Not in the dark side but knocking on the door? With this shitty ending you bitches need to become Sith lords. Glad I wasn't eating when I read the ending.

I’m a big fan of DQS.

This is just as good.

Fan-bloody-tastic

This different positioning was great in the story. I liked that Bruce was a lot more assertive and that the story didn’t depart from the original too much was also interesting. In both stories one of the things that got me was that it felt like everything was closed out in just a couple of paragraphs. There is so much development for both Tiff and Bruce, yet their story ends and its almost like there is no resolution.

Overall really enjoyed the re-write :)

This was great, I especially liked how the Bitch and Big Dick were taken down. When Stephan sucker punched him in the bar I was hoping he was going to get his cumupance, boy did he ever🤣. The rest of the story on the MIL was almost as satisfying. Still I wasn't all that happy with him getting back together with Tiffany, in this version or the original. Tiffany never deserved the love he gave her and the disrespect and humiliation she heaped on him would most certainly be hard to overcome. But hey this is make believe, and 5* worthy, well done😊

I have read the original, and this is much more satisfying. Another great job.

More cowboys.

5 and faved. I liked the original but I think with respect to the original author this is superior. Though it hits about the same plot points as the original I think this does it better. The MC is not so passive, the bitch MIL gets some comeuppance, the "Big Dick" gets taken down far more of a peg, and the wife's realization on what a idiot she was feels more organic, the reconciliation felt better rather then her just showing up out of the blue "I've got a gun, marry me". She seemed far more willing to open herself up to him in the end and explained better the hurt she did. I don't know if they should have reconciled but I definitely was rooting for it far more in this story then the original, actually kinda liked Tiffany in this story whereas I thought she was a completely toxic unrepentant monster. Great story.

the original was excellent but this story beats it by a neck. Interesting that the balls he grew were actually Lew's, but still better all around story for male pride.

Great story, but I didn't buy the ending. Maybe she always did love him and was just screwed up for awhile, but trust is not made with a public display. It is earned over time. She didn't do that.

This was a very good story. In my opinion better than the original. However the story should have ended when she called him while having sex. She then got married and went out with other guys for Sex. I would never have been able to get over that plus her constantly ridiculing his dream as well as telling him he was inadequate as a man. She was a horrible woman and let her mother warp her mind and didn't stick up for her supposed true love. I really enjoyed the story but my own prejudices kept me from enjoying it completely. Which is probably what the writer wanted

I think reconciliation is the most difficult subject to write about. This was well done. The last scene was unexpected and perhaps a bit over the top.

While DanielQSteele1's original version was alright (maybe even good) your take on it is outstanding. Of the 100s of LW stories I have read, the ones that stand out from the others for me is usually a simple sentence or statement that could be easily overlooked. To me, it was went Mona slapped Tiffany and the statement. In "Let Go", it was the statement about being a single father looking after teenage girls and her reaction to that statement. As with life, I have found the little simple things bring on great change more over the large events.

She proposed to him. In the end, she is still in control

Second read just as good as the first. Masterful, and with apologies to DQS1, even better than the original.

Hooked

She just HAD to keep her money separate .. until, of course, he was worth many times what she was. THEN the monies could be comingled. She was a self-centered bitch at the beginning, and a self-centerd batch she remains. He's a fool to get back with her.

I'm a very huge fan of DQS's First Coast verse stories... and I thoroughly enjoyed the original.

I don't understand commenters who say that they read the original, but wanted this story shortened. That may be at a point where they thought Bruce was man enough, etc... but you were trying to keep the same overall time frame and storyline... just enhancing it to what you, another obvious First Coast verse fan, wanted to read.

I believe that you knocked it out of the park. The touches of adding more First Coast verse characters, acting in manners that feel believable to the character and timeline. Altering Bruce enough to be more of a man. Adjusting the method of his revenge on Steven. Using Lew, Mona, Dan, and Bill to help him get him back to a more even keel, and then to get his writing career going.

The subtle nods to the Bonne Chance and the woman that put Bill back together.

It deserves 5 stars and kudos from DQS on your appreciation and understanding of his original story and the verse in general.

With no disrespect to the original writer, this is a far greater story with the same beginning and ending. I think I might be biased but if I were on that stage receiving the proposal at the end, I would have rejected with the words "You are late. I won't accept it after you know my identity. I waited all those years after publication but it can't happen now. You only agreed to sharing your money after I had more than you. Sorry."

Great story, as everyone who knows me will attest, I’m a BTB guy, but this was just excellent. To all of those haters, she offered him a prenup with the same deal they had before he balled up. What’s hers was theirs, what’s his was his! You ever heard of reading comprehension, might fucking help!!!! qhml1, You Rock!!! By the way I liked the mention of Mark Stewart and Betty Bang Bang...😁🐷 Lwcby, aka Hoggypig out.

This is my 4th time through.....still super

Bravo, well done, 5 stars

great job!!!! Loved it.

Well done sir! I had read the original, and agree with your assessment of that story. I believe you have really improved it.

As someone already poignantly mentioned, you just tweaked a few things but 90% was the same story. Those applauding this. It must be sad that in your pathetic lives, giving adulation to a weak spineless husband.

Another well done story, you have embellished his success from the first on but you said you changed the ending. I considered the ending when she brought the gone out and the wedding rings. I think that was same in both stories. I always thought the gun thing was a little much and her threat about shooting him if he strayed. There was no point in either story where cheating came in except on her part when in Hawaii. Still a good story and my second time around and there will probably be a third. 5 stars. Oh, check the sentence below:

" She definitely didn't look like a child any more and she realized there were going to quite a few nights in the not so distant future where she wouldn't be able to sleep until her baby was safely home after a date."

Still, A "Bat-Shit Crazy" woman made so by her even more "Bat-Shit Crazy" mother who was driven there by a Scumbag of a husband who should drawn and quartered or ruining two women.

Why is this different than DQS? He still ends up with the ex-wife. You threw in some bells and whistles, but it still ends with them together. BAH!

You improved the original by Daniel Cuck Steele, but it still doesn't work for me as a love story. She was a bitch from start to end. Any sane man would have run away from her. Your writing is excellent as usual, but they original story is flawed and your new version didn't go far enough to correct those mistakes.

Not a love story in any guuse. Just another selfish moonstrosity finally gaining full dominance over herlittle cuckieboy

Love can make you put up with an awful lot, but finally something breaks the bond. It can be something subtle or like a slap in the face. Growing a spine hurts and its always filled with hate because finally you have to face being pulled out of your cocoon and you hate how you were forced to change. You could say that you stirred emotions in me, my wife forced me to change then didnt like what she had created.

I really liked this ending better then the original one.

Very well written. Maybe this is a bit petty, but you should invest in a spell check tool. Lots and lots of spelling errors which interrupted, for me, the flow of the story. Still, 5 star.

Better than the original

Incredable

For such a very good and talented writer, why do all your main characters wind up so successful and rich? and at the very top of their professions? To me, that's not at all a realistic picture of anyone's life, altho you paint such realistic and raw pictures of them on the road there. Yeah, sure, it's fiction and an escape, but still....

Read the original and thanks for using this motif "to set your demon to rest." This is a real rewrite of the original story; but you have added so very much more. Great pacing, simply amazing characterization, and intricate yet clearly foreshadowed plot lines. When I again peruse your offerings here I simply cannot contain myself. We as readers are sampling your garden of earthly delights. Each sample rich and satisfying.

But all that said...Congratulations and Well Done.. This one is one of your best!

Thank you for this wonderful story. It also helped put some of my personal demons to rest. I truly enjoy your style of writing and the great storylines you develop. K

Read both Authors versions and both are excellent. Lucky rich people again. Us $40-80 thou a year (or less) would never, remotely end up this way.

Super story. Not sure it is a better ending to the original, but it is very good and I was captivated the whole way to the end. I liked DQS’s beatdown of the asshole better; though I see the wisdom of a public flogging. Like many here I am not sure his ex still gets what he wants as equal partners in a marriage of committed equals. The DQS version may be better but not by much just because he is not as successful as here. The success of the MC takes away from her understanding of his vision. She is just a very flawed individual. But this is a great entertaining story. Thanks for creating and sharing with us. John

I liked the original, I like this version. There are differences between the two but is a very good story either way. Thanks for this version and believe me when I say I'll never be in their financial bracket ........

5 stars! I enjoyed the original but never felt like it was quite what I was looking for. I think your version is so on point to what I was hoping for. Great job of writing! I enjoyed this more than the original. I'll have to read more of your material. Thank you!

Reasonable story, but she had to be incredibly stupid to not realise he was the author.

This was very well written. And forgiveness can clear up many things, which includes crappy life choices. I read the original, I like this one a bit better. Thank you.

Thank you for this!

The original left too many things unresolved if not confused. And, a true hatred for Tiffany. It never really showed her progression to tame her inner demons. What was I am guessing was supposed to be a happy ending let me wondering. This reconciles much if that. Where there a few conflicts to the original, it is a much more satisfying read. This time with a truly hopefully happy ending. An epilog would be welcome as well to satisfy us romantics that they truly live happily ever after.

Very good. I like feel good tales.

In both cases (original and this version) I can't see a RAAC. They never ever doubted their love for each other but they are still two very different people that can't live together. They should coparent and be friends. Even friends with benefits. But marriage is never going to work. Only now that she see's his success does she apparently change. All the way to that moment she was still involve but bitter and selfish.

was enjoyable to read till page 7 where the BS-o-meter reached 9000.

it is- no matter how much you gloss over it- after everything that has happened ( if you are honest and look at the tally of shit she has fabricated- the phone terror was just the last drop of accelerant here) absolutely impossible to have any form of positive feelings for her, let alone sex (even hate fucks...there are boundaries and she has crossed a hell of a lot of them)

so one one side the authors abiltiy to write on the other a story i find not compelling...at all.

how should i rate this?!...

She threatens him and he takes her back without a pre-nup in HIS favor? This didn't end differently than the original. Disappointing.

What the fuck is he back with her for?

This one grabbed you from the beginning and wouldn't let go. Definitely a worthy version of DSQ's classic.

Quite a few won't be happy with anything other than Tiff burning at the stake for all eternity, but this was the only credible ending for these two. They spent years, along with countless tears, to finally find their way back to each other. This was a satisfying ending that leaves you with that contented feeling.

It's a 5'er for me - But what's the LovingWives deal with "butt fucking" - what the hell?

I've probably had sex with more women than most of the readers here and never tried that - nor wanted to!......

If there was a story that deserved a 5, this is one. Great flow and continuity.

One of my favorite authors, and a valiant attempt to save a festering pike. Sadly, it was always beyond redemption.

A very nice take on DQS’s story. Certainly worthy of Five Stars, more if I could. If I’m not mistaken the author also borrowed a character from another author here on Literotica, the esteemed Rehnquist. The character was the ever chain-smoking book editor Natalie from the story What You Wish For. So thanks Q, thanks for this great story and all the other wonderful stories you’ve shared with us all. Please, keep on keepin on.

Dee

reread for me and one of the very best stories on here. thank you

Loved it!

Just magic. You are a very good writer - loved it.

read it again and still don't see the difference from the original EXCEPT for the money part of the divorce. She still was an ass, still called him during the sex, humiliated him, he gets a different job, she wants him, he takes her back.

She waited till he had his own money.

Always a bit hollow.

The original story was good, however it really failed in a sense that he barely grew a set. This story was better as he stood up for himself quickly. Couple of in consistencies: a black belt and above would have more confidence that Bruce...from the beginning. Come on B. Davis and she hasn't a clue. Otherwise, a nice, jagged edge story which is pretty much "real divorce period life". BTRH

The original was good. Simple man standing for his lifestyle.

The first part of this story is good too. Bruce grew bigger balls. The end is terrible. It means nothing if she waited till he succeeded. The original ending where she realizes she loves him and makes her ultimate secriface is much better. Maybe adding details about how she felt after their sexual encounter till she reached the decision.

This well written story created, in me, a plethora of feelings. At first just wanting them to get back together with Tiff finally showing Bruce the respect he deserved. Then I wanted Bruce to get over her. Her so called love after he became successful was hollow at best. Then I think I got in touch with what the writer intended. In the intro he mentioned the inherent flaws in all men. Every character except the two daughters was seriously flawed. It was not pretty. Extremely well written but not pretty. Just like life.

ENJOYED this DQS upgrade. The romantic if me thought the ending was . thanks for writing.

3rd reading and still tears some for your story some for loss of my two daughter because of woman who only thought of herself some 40 years ago. Still I am fortunate to have 4 loving children that came with a loving wife after the first one did her damage. Most of us, at least I think, don't realize that our reactions to emotional situations affect those around us, as in this story. By the time we realize that its to late to correct what has happened and what may have been said because of hurt and emotional trauma. Practically every one in this story had been affected by something said or done by someone else. I digress because I am once again relieving that anger and hurt from 40 years. great story and I'll probably read it again,

Sequel very nice

Not fan of the DQS story and this one does'nt add a thing at all ! It seems that you are an irreducible follower of the "happy ending" and live in fantasy land ? Too bad it's not the real life !

I liked this more than the original, but sadly it was all about the money. She didn't come to respect him until he had money of his won. If he hadn't become famous or wealthy she wouldn't have given him a second thought.

Yes, after he is successful she agrees to share her money. They will be divorced again in a year. I did give 5* because it’s a great story, but end felt contrived.

This was a well written story and was actually better than the original. I think having so many of the wonderful DQS characters added to the stiry and gave it depth. Still not completely on board with the reconciliation but I can see what the author was going for. The only thing is it did feel like she really only wanted him back after he became successful and rich.

"he (DQS) has a habit of making his male protagonists a little too noble, putting up with extraordinarily hurtful things from the women they love. " That's not noble. That's gullible, naive, or just straight up beta cuck territory.

I read the literary critiques and found them to be worthwhile, but after looking at all the comments, all I can say… I enjoyed this as much as most of the stories I have read.

Emotionally, a wonderful story. Not perfect, but neither were the characters. Great job!

The original story shows a husband who sticks to his beliefs and a wife who finally understands he is her equal no matter what he will do.

This is a different story. A husband who becomes successful over time and a wife seeing he is all she wanted him to be while also achieving his dreams.

This story is better in the husband's jurnie but at end Tiffany did not make a secrifice. The original story if worse on the jurney but with better ending.

So, I suppose the ideal story would start like this one but will tone down the success and keep the secrifice more meaningful.

I don't see the point in this story. It feels like 90 percent the original story (which was a great story and didn't need rewriting) with some tweaks here and there.

The bit about bringing in so many of the characters from DQS's other stories felt more silly than compelling to me. The original story was a great story, adding all these other characters made it feel weaker, more cartoonish, like modifying "The Godfather" to make it more like "Avengers Infinity Wars".

The only big flaw I felt the original had was that it provided no insight into why Tiffany changed her perspective at the end and became willing to fully commit in a second marriage to Bruce. One could imagine her having an epiphany in a therapy session, but we never got any such bit of character development. Instead, on a critical bit of mindset where the entire story had painted her as completely intractable, she magically turned on a dime.

This reworking of the story could have addressed that flaw in the original, but it didn't.

Great story really well written. My second time. I am still puzzled about the MC’s success. Would the great reconciliation still happen if he continued to work in the video store and collect rejection slips? Not the way both of these stories go. I do not believe the MC was true to himself. Hell of a story though

What a pair of stories! Fascinating! Did not think I was going to like the ending of yours, but I did. Thanks for writing!

Perfect!

Tremendous story. Tremendous writing. Tremendous way to end! Thank you! drmike

Very well done. A love that strong, to endure the pain and hurt is improbable. But it is what we wish were true. Skillfully written you make the improbable heart warming. A favorite, for sure.

This was an improvement over the original tale but i still would not have accepted reconciliation...there is such a thing as going too far

Its Ironical.

You write about stories with as Happy Ending as wimpy stories.

Yet you write this one.

Man such hypocrisy and By standers.

Whatever......

Its a fantastic story..... Writing wise at least.

.

Touching, feel good ending to the story. But I think Bruce will need to find her some big cock on a regular basis to keep her from going back to her bitchy selfish ways.

I liked this reconciliation, it worked and even better you made the characters work for it. You didn't have a "sex cures the pain" resolution, instead they had to build themselves separately before they could become a couple again. Very well done. 5*

Throughly enjoyable read ... 5 stars!

I would've made two changes: first, leave out the part where Tiffany calls Bruce while having sex with Stephen and taunts him. This is unforgivably cruel and would (IMO) rule out any chance for reconciliation.

Secondly, Tiffany's "awaking moment", where she asks Bruce to remarry her as an "equal partner" should have occurred BEFORE she found out about his literary success. As written, Tiffany comes off as loving Bruce's success instead of Bruce the man.

I am conflicted about this because of the RAAC ending.... I did enjoy the story but, I always go back to the quote of "If u don't love me at my worst, u don't deserve me at my best" or something like that and I am a firm believer that he did both but not the wife, so she doesn't deserve him. The way she treated him in the beginning was more like a slave and all her taunting during and after the divorce, deserves nothing less than moving on with someone else even if she changed but that took years to do. It's too bad DanielQSteele didn't have a Mona to give them advice and makes me chuckle thinking about that lil tidbit in this story.

I really enjoyed reading this again.