Seven Bad Years

Lydia was shocked, again. This time for the blunt, almost hostile, response. She said with a tremor in her voice, "I agree with the requirements."

Fabian expected nothing else so he said, "Good. Tomorrow you can get a lift from Julian to our office to sign the contracts and be processed by our HR department. We will arrange a small rental car for your transportation. We have a garage at hand that can provide employees with a decent car for a fair price. But that is all for next month."

With that Fabian said his goodbyes and took his leave, leaving a confused Lydia behind him. She stood and wanted to go to her room again when she saw the binoculars. She took them upstairs and saw just in time Fabian walked up the door of Isaac's house and was welcomed by her ex-husband. She didn't have time enough to get a good look at Isaac though and she rested the binoculars next to the window. She started to make a list of requirements to give her life another start.

It was almost dark when Lydia heard a car coming up the street. She wondered who that might be; Tommie and Julian were having dinner at a restaurant so they wouldn't be home so soon. She looked out of the window and saw the car coming to stop in front of Isaac's door. The porchlight went on as she saw Isaac get out of the car, and then she saw a very pregnant woman with light brown curly hair, dressed in yoga pants and a clingy t-shirt wrapping herself in the arms of her ex-husband. From the way her breast jiggled, both before and after the hug, it was obvious that she was without a bra. Even through the binoculars, she could see the sparks flying between them.

When the woman started to stroke Isaacs's crotch, Lydia had enough. She envied the woman and she felt terribly jealous, angry, and lost, all at the same time. This should be her man, in her house! It took a while before she came to her senses. She was the reason as to why it was that woman and not herself in that porchlight.

Despondent, she sat down. Lydia knew that she acted terribly stupid but surely there must be a way back into Isaac's heart?

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Tommie's wedding was fast approaching, only two weeks away, and Lydia tried to find as much information on Isaac as she could.

The binoculars were a help. She could see Isaac's face, his hair with streaks of gray, his stance erect, and his body lean. She saw the interaction with the boy--Timothy, wasn't it? She couldn't help herself and felt another pang of envy. Isaac was so good with children. She tried to engage Tommie about Isaac's pregnant lover, but was constantly rebuffed. Neither Tommie nor Julian or Fabian reacted to her probing. A direct answer to her questions wasn't forthcoming either.

The day before Tommie's wedding, she was notified that Isaac and Laura were to be married too, and Lydia was aghast. She was invited to Tommie's wedding and couldn't refuse to attend, but the idea that she had to witness the wedding of her ex-husband as well was a direct hit to her ego. She felt devastated, all hope she had of reuniting with Isaac going up in smoke. The bimbo was pregnant with Isaac. Why hadn't she thought about that? She felt so stupid! Lydia turned around and gave the last instructions to the movers who were taking her things to the home IsBexcon was providing for her.

Isaac made an exception for Lydia so she could attend the wedding and the party thereafter in his and Laura's house. There was dinner and after dinner there was a band and dancing.

Dinner was a convivial event. The food was exceptional and Lydia was seated between two youngsters who engaged her in an animated discussion about music and theater.

When the dancing began, Lydia sat, lost and forlorn, in a corner watching the festivities. She noticed that the alcohol consumption was nearly zero and was surprised at that. The traditional dances started. Bride and groom, father of the bride with the bride. Mother of the bride with the... She saw Julian looking at Isaac who just gave an imperceptible nod.

Julian turned and walked over to Lydia. "Ma'am, will you do me the honor of this dance?" Julian asked politely. Lydia got up, accepted Julian's hand and walked on the dance floor.

There, she felt elated as they danced; she liked to dance but hadn't in years and Julian was a good dancer. In the corner of her eye, she saw Tommie and Laura talking to Isaac, who nodded but looked apprehensive. The dance with Julian was over and she wanted to crawl in her corner again when she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned around and looked into Isaac's face.

It was then, up close, that noticed his eyes, lined with wrinkles, deep and sad, that had seen a lot of misery. My word, what happened to him? she thought.

In a hot flash, it dawned on her. I did! I happened to him! What an absolute bitch am I. Suddenly she couldn't understand herself anymore. How on earth would she be able to look at herself in the mirror. In a fit of madness, she had put this man through hell and had the audacity to be jealous that he fought his way out of that same hell she created.

In a matter of seconds, she lost all self-esteem and confidence, physically shuddering at the thought of what she'd done to the man, just for some excitement with a seriously bad boy. Then she realized that Isaac was holding out his hand, waiting patiently as her thoughts swirled and crashed down on her. "Sorry, you were asking me?" she asked in a small, timid voice.

Isaac repeated, "Will you do me the honor of this dance, Lydia?"

Without a word Lydia plastered herself against Isaac and started sobbing. A while into the dance, she regained a modicum of calm. Gathering all of her remaining courage, she whispered as her tears flowed, "Isaac, I am so terribly sorry I did this to you. I know you must hate me now. I'm sorry I can't give you your years back."

Isaac replied, "Lydia, I'm glad you show remorse. That said, that we are dancing because the two women I love the most urged me to show you some compassion. I did to you, a little, from what you did to me big time, and you felt a little of the pain I experienced. I say little. The words from Ramsday, 'You tell him the rules,' and yours, 'Suck it up or else,' and the consequent betrayal scoured out my soul.

I hated you until I met Laura. She filled the void with her love and any feelings about you evaporated. We dance here as strangers with a shared past. I will not shun you anymore because of our daughter and soon to come grandchild, but it will be a long time before I am able to call you a friend. Mind you, I have two gatekeepers who will watch you as hawks with very sharp talons they're not afraid to use if you try anything, in their eyes, improper towards me. Now let's enjoy dancing together."

Lydia almost inhaled the touch of the man she once forgot she loved. He felt different. In times past, he felt a bit soft to the touch, but now his shoulders felt bony and hard. His stance and moves betrayed strength and endurance. She remembered how capable he was between the sheets and again was amazed at her own stupidity. Peter Ramsday had never been able to get her off as hard as Isaac. Only because it was so exciting and the heady powerplay, when Isaac caught them, kept her in the claws of Ramsday. Now, she paid the price, an awfully steep and terrible price.

Instead of assisting her daughter today at what was the most beautiful day in her life, she was barely tolerated as a guest. Her father's bride instead acted as her daughter's mother. They were that close, Lydia observed. Julian asking her to dance ought to be as normal as breathing but it took Isaac's permission to do so. And her daughter and his wife had to tell Isaac to step over his shadow.

Depression descended on her like the evening shadow in a ravine. Sharply defined, unavoidable and heralding the cold long night. She shivered and clamped herself to the man she betrayed and lost. In Isaac's arms, she grieved for everything she threw away.

Isaac witnessed the demise from, what once was, a proud and beautiful female into a broken insecure woman. He was done. Now she had to fight her way back just as he had. He told her softly in her ear, "There are people who will support and help you. I provided you the basics. The rest is up to you."

The dance ended. Tommie walked over and said, "I can see that that was emotionally very intense for you. Do you want to stay tonight? I don't think you ought to drive now. I don't want to lose my mother. Or shall I arrange to get you home?"

Lydia accepted the offer to get her back to her new house and Ben and Anna took her home. Before they arrived, Anna turned in her seat to look at Lydia. She said, "You are alone and without friends. You did wrong and will be paying a long time for it. We all saw that tonight you finally realized what you did to Isaac instead of the inconvenience it was to you and damage control. That was Isaac's goal. He utterly destroyed Ramsday. The man has a hell of a time in jail and not in a positive way but Isaac is not out to deprive his daughter of a sane mother.

"Because of that, we offer, on Isaac's behalf, counseling. That will help you understand why you went down the wrong path and cope with the consequences. All you have to do is think about it and, if you accept, tell Fabian."

When Lydia arrived, she went into the dark house, took off her coat, and sagged onto her couch. There and then, in the dark, she let go. She started sobbing as all her emotions took hold of her. At the forefront were remorse and a deep sense of loss, all due to her own doing.

Isaac had suffered but had moved on to find new happiness. Now, she had to try to do the same.

The end.