Sex and the Ex-Wife's Sister

"Not the Village People after all Tony," I said to the Airborne Captain with some disappointment, "I just bet they're all from fucking Trumpton - come on fella's which one of you is Barney McGrew?"

Yes, they were firemen and while they would have given an extremely good account of themselves most of the people on our side of the bar weren't as pissed and had actually been taught to fight, and to fight with whatever was to hand and to the bitter end.

There was a shout,

"Oh for fuck's sake," said a female voice, "I take two minutes out to go for a pee and you bunch of fucking hormonal teenage arseholes are trying to pick fights with..." She looked at me, her face bursting into a big smile, "WITH MY MATE TOM!" she shouted happily walking up to me and hugging me, "Thomas!" she called kissing my cheek, "what the fuck are you doing here!?"

It was my one-time sister-in-law, newly promoted Crew Manager the gorgeous Cassandra out with her team on a Watch piss-up.

"Leaving do for our Sheldon here," (the kid wasn't really called Sheldon but his name was Cooper so... you know...) "and Cuthbert, Dibble or Grubb there shoved him." I pointed at the young chap and he took a side step among his colleagues to avoid his boss's stare, "I did suggest that we all go back to our beers but my paratroopers, commando's, engineers and grunters weren't looking to sit down until Trumpton's best did." I kept my hands on her waist, "Tell you what Cassie, I'll dig out mine it you dig out yours."

"Deal," she said and kissed my cheek. And that was that; their boss hanging on to the arm of one of the enemy with a patch of her lipstick still on his cheek calmed the whole thing down and peace resumed.

Both Cassie and I explained to the masses what our link was and how we knew each other enough to share cheek to cheek kisses and hugs at least, so pretty soon the two groups had merged at the edges as we all shared our ideas on building methods, materials, services and all of that construction jazz.

As the evening drew to a close most of the military types were after curry, while it appeared that the Firefighters were 'going on somewhere' so we duly dispersed as promised with the two groups eventually going their different ways except for me, Colonel Peter and Crew Manager Cassie.

We headed for my favourite Italian restaurant and partook of excellent pizza and pasta washed down with wine, and as the big hand moved further past the twelve I pushed the pissed Guards Colonel into a taxi and gave them his home address and enough money.

"So Cassie," I said as I turned in the direction of the half mile walk to my place, "how are you getting home."

"Was going to walk," she said, "I only live a mile in that direction, in Coppergate Court still."

"Excellent," I said, "that's on my route home, you can see me to my door."

"I'll look after yer' darlin'," she said with an effected accent.

"You're not going to try to get me back to my place and take advantage of me are you?"

"Only if you ask me really nicely!" she giggled, we were both pleasantly pissed by this stage.

At a loss for some way to get out of the banter that could end badly, I offered her my arm and she took it and we slowly ambled back to my place, with me asking how her Dad was these days, and completely managing not to ask about her sister and her ex-partner.

As we got close to my front door, it started to rain and holding hands we ran the last two hundred yards, laughing and splashing through puddles and soaked to the skin. I opened the door and pulled her in to my living room.

"Let me get you a towel Cassie," I said, and did so, dragging one from my linen cupboard and she took it gratefully rubbing her almost jet black hair.

I stepped into my bedroom for a dry T-shirt and quickly changed into it and some PJ shorts, grabbing a shirt for her as well, coming back to the kitchen where I switched on the kettle for coffee. There was a flash of lightning that lit the street momentarily then the subsequent rumble of thunder, and the rain went from torrential to monsoon.

"Shit..." she said.

The rain had made her thin cotton blouse glue to her every curve, each as pleasant to look at as those of her twin sister, slightly more so in fact, and I could see the hard pinpoints of her nipples sticking through the cotton of her bra and blouse and I tried not to look.

She looked down though,

"Oh, hi girls!"

"Here's a dry shirt," I said handing across the one I'd brought for her.

"Oh thanks Tom," she said reaching out for it and putting her towel on the back of a chair. Without further ado she unbuttoned her shirt and pulled the wet cotton off, leaving her in her bra and jeans, the denim trousers being the next to drop. I looked the other way but she would have none of it, "Oh fuck off Tom!" she said with a grin, "you've seen worse that this at the beach!"

"Yeah," I said, "I forget these things! I'll make the coffee..."

Christ, but she looked fucking hot.

She picked up her towel and dried her shoulders and chest before pulling on the T-shirt. Then she did that 'pulling off the bra under her shirt' thing that we men always found so uniquely intriguing to watch.

The towel went under her shirt and she dried under her boobs and her cleavage.

I took her wet clothes and hung them on a clothes horse next to some of my laundry, turning on my log-effect gas fire, and I saw her craftily remove her tiny white string panties hooking them carefully over the edge of the adjacent radiator.

I handed her the coffee and she sat on the sofa, folding her legs under her as I'd seen her do hundreds of times before pulling down her T-shirt over her bottom.

"Thanks Tom," she said looking me up and down with a glance I couldn't quite fathom.

I looked at my watch, it was gone one o'clock,

"It's still pissing down," I said, "I can make you up a bed on the sofa if you like?"

She looked back at me with that special smile of hers.

"Can't I sleep with you?"

Oooooohkaaay... not what I was expecting at all.

"Not in the biblical sense?" I said after a thoughtful pause and a grin just so she knew it was humorous.

"Totally in the biblical sense Tom, I've been considering it since we kissed in the pub after Mum's funeral if I'm really honest." I went quiet again, thinking how pissed we were and how bad WE might feel about it the next morning, "come on Tom," she said, "your ex is still screwing my ex, seems only fair."

The whole 'next morning' aspect wouldn't leave me though,

"So Cassie," I said still somewhat surprised at her outburst, "what you are suggesting, is this a revenge fuck?"

"If you like," she said, "you can call it what you want, I just know that I haven't had a good length in almost two years and I'm gagging for one."

"OK," I said brightly, "a bloke likes to know where he stands." She turned slightly and unfolded her legs so that great arse of hers was virtually visible, and I guess she saw me looking.

"You should stand next to the bed while I kneel on the edge," she said in a loud whisper. I have to confess that was more than enough, and the imagery of that arse in front of me while I pounded it had my erection growing in my shorts. "Nice to see that you aren't entirely against the idea?" she said looking at my groin.

I smiled,

"That bad?"

"Christ yeah," she groaned, her shoulders dropping, "only reason I haven't got some from one of the lads in the brigade is I don't want to be the topic of conversation for the next two years and getting requests from all and sundry to be the next in line."

"Fair enough..." I said.

She stood and extended a hand which I took and we walked into the bedroom, with me turning off lights as we went.

"Oh the delights of a double bed!" she cooed dipping her toes under the duvet and pulling it up, I sat down and did likewise removing my T-shirt leaving me in just my shorts. Cassie removed her T-shirt as well and I had my third view of her fantastic bosom, the first ones being on pool and beachside sun loungers when she and her sister had both gone topless when the men folk weren't watching - as such...

We lay down pulling the duvet up and we both considered what to do next. The obvious came to me first,

"I'm guessing Madam would prefer me to wear a condom?"

"Always the perfect gentleman Thomas," she said, "I bought some in the pub just in case."

"I have some in the bedside drawer," I said.

She looked like she was holding back a grin, and giggled naughtily,

"They are still in date aren't they Tom?" she laughed.

"I bought them some months back!" I said with some mock hurt indignation.

"But you never needed them!?"

"No, the young lady in question told me that she just wanted to be friends," I said, "once I'd taken her out to dinner three times of course."

"Bitch!" said Cassie, "None of that shit from me Tom, I'm just using you for sex," with that she leaned forward and kissed me briefly pulling my face to hers, "just a fuck though Tom yeah?" she grinned, "I REALLY don't want this to get complicated."

"OK mate," I said, knowing in the back of my head that sex was ALWAYS complicated.

We kissed for just a few moments when Cassie stopped it and moved a hand down to grab my now very stiff penis giving it a few rubs. I slid my hand from her sides, gently across her breasts and down to grab that wonderful arse of hers and she seemed quite taken with that.

She rolled across me and sat across my thighs,

"Condom?" she said extending a hand, and I had only to reach into my Ikea bedside table bottom drawer for the box of twelve Durex Ultimate latex-free condoms, "twelve?" she said with raised eyebrows.

"Might be a long night," I said with a similar straight face.

She smiled, shook her head and took the first prophylactic and opened it, sliding it into place. She looked down with raised eyebrows,

"Without giving you a big head Tom, this is an extremely good-sized weapon, I think it's the biggest I've ever had."

"Then you are most welcome to make use of it," I said putting my hands behind my head and lying back and with one hand on my cock and the other hand on her puss, her index and middle fingers spreading her labia, I felt her very wet pussy engulf me slowly.

"Oh YEEEEEAH," she growled as she bottomed out and I pushed up just the tiniest bit.

Not having been inside a woman since her sister two years before it was paradise and I started to flex my hips in time with her cowgirl-riding of me, bringing my hands down to place them on her thighs stroking them, her bottom and finally her inner thighs just as I had with her sister.

It worked just the same and as Cassie started to get into it, I used MY index and ring finger to spread her labia and the middle one to massage her clitoris. She went fucking mad bouncing harder down on me and speeding up in time with my masturbation of her.

"Fuck! Oh..." she pursed her lips, "Oh yeah, like that Tom, please... keep going... yes... still... please... don'tcomeyetdon'tcomeyetdon't... oh...oh...oh..." her head fell forward slightly and I guessed that it was all hands to the pumps and I was right, her head and neck stretched back as she both laughed and gasped as her orgasm took her, riding out the last of her tremors and falling forward slightly her hands on my chest.

"Guessing that was OK?" I said.

"OK? it was fucking amazing," she leaned forward and kissed me, "that's the first time I've ever come during intercourse!"

"Really?!" I said with genuine shocked surprise. I'd always thought it the height of good manners to ensure that my lover came before I did, often twice.

"Yeah!" she lay flat on my chest and pecked a couple of kisses on my face before pushing back up, "haven't you?"

"No?!" I said simply adding just enough shocked pride.

She looked right into my face, a bit surprised,

"So you can still fuck?"

"Hell yeah!" I said with a grin almost as big as hers.

"Tom?" she whined using her finger to draw shapes in my chest hair, her flexing pussy squeezing delightfully over my cock embedded inside her, "you know what I said about you standing up and doing me on my hands and knees from behind?" I smiled, eyebrows raised, "Would you? Please?"

"How could I possibly turn down a request from a lady?" I said.

"Dunno," she said climbing off of me, "if I ever meet one I'll ask her."

Just as I'd imagined she swung around and knelt on the edge of my bed and presented her perfect arse to me and I had only to stand and step behind her and I was ready to go. The height was perfect and I placed a hand in the small of her back to hold her still, I heard her gasp,

"Please Tom," she half hissed - half giggled, "I've been dreaming of this for two years, please I reeeeeeally nee... Oh fuck yeah!" she shouted as I thrust hard and deep into her from behind.

It was even better than the cowgirl had been and I could feel every flinch and squeeze of every muscle within striking distance of her wet swollen pussy as I pushed in and out, stopping occasionally to pull and push her backwards and forwards over me.

"Oh Tom!" she cried out in obvious ecstasy, "I'm coming, oh fuck yeeeeeeah!" she cried out as she came again, and I screwed her similarly, giving her the occasional spank just to spice things up a bit until her responses and her occasional reaching back to stroke my balls finally had me losing myself into her.

She fell forward across the bed as I withdrew looking completely wasted while I rolled off the condom and wrapped it in some tissue before dropping it to the floor.

I lay behind her and pulled her close, her rolling to face me.

"Fuck, that was bloody amazing!" she said with a face full of a rather lazy glee.

"Thank you," I said, "you were rather fucking spectacular yourself." I slid a hand around her and pulled her into a cuddle, her hand on my chest.

"That was just how I wanted it," she said, "just how I saw it in my head."

"Glad to be of service," I said yawning.

"Fucking hell though Tom," she said with a yawn, "How the fuck could my sister give up sex like that to fuck MARTIN." She closed her eyes and snuggled even closer to me, "You've already given me more orgasms than he did in three years."

I smiled, and with my spare hand switched off the bedside lamp, pulled her close and slept better than I had in many months.

We woke the next morning and it wasn't as uncomfortable as I thought it might be; I reached across to switch off my alarm clock before it went off, and Cassie moved closer slipping her arm across my chest and in doing so pressing her great boobs against me.

She gave a kind of whiney grumble-mumble so I moved back to where I'd been and that seemed to be OK as she gave a very contented sigh. Although the curtains were still closed the ambient light was more than enough for me to look down at the pretty girl in my arms, looking spookily like the last one that had been there.

Her eyes crept open and she smiled,

"Hiya Tom," she said and I guessed that the amount of beer and wine that we had put away was having it's morning after effect.

"Hi Cassie," I replied, "I'm thinking tea and paracetamol?"

"No bacon?"

"No bacon," I said, "but I do have bread, marmalade and a toaster."

"A poor substitute Tom, but it'll have to do." She kissed me, and I rolled out of bed and headed for the bathroom pulling on my boxers from the night before.

By the time I got back to the bedroom with our breakfast, Cassie was showered and pulling on my T-shirt and her tiny panties from the night before and we sat in the living room watching the early morning TV and chatting more inconsequentialities, our activities of the night before not mentioned or even hinted at.

With her now dried clothes she got dressed and picked up a copy of the plans for my house along with some photographs with a professional interest.

"Is this a project for work?" she said holding the paper up to the light.

"Oh no," I said with some pride, "that's my latest and greatest project!"

"Really?" she said picking up on my body language, "Do tell."

"Guessing you're not at work today?"

"Nope," she said, "lates on Monday."

"I'll tell you what," I said, "I'll show you..."

"And this is the vegetable garden," I said walking her around the outside bit that still needed some amount of work, "Least it will be when I finally rent a rotovator and be arsed to dig it."

"This is the man that dug miles of drains and mixed tonnes of mortar, won't walk down the road to the nearest stable, get some bags of horse manure and dig it in?" she chuckled.

"Yeah... well when Tesco stop selling cheap vegetables, I'll start growing them."

"Thomas!" she nagged, "shame on you!"

"One day!" I said with defensive hands raised.

"A slated roof!" shouted Cassie looking up at the grandest view of the place with green and corn-yellow hills beyond in perfect contrast, "LOVE slate roofs, proper country looking!"

"Eighty percent original Victorian," I said with a grin, "although the people up the lane with the Livery stables where you want me to get my manure from tried to insist to the Council planning authority that it should be thatched!"

"You beat the council?!" she said with some surprise.

"No battle really," I said with a grin, "I did a ton of research on this place and found some old pictures from during the war of and course it was slate roofed, so the council were good with it from the start really. When I found the lock-up with most of the original slates in it I thought the planning officer wanted to marry me and have my babies." I grinned, she grinned - the unspoken memory of our activities of the night before still fresh, "The livery stable people weren't very happy and they made a point of walking down my lane every day to see what I was doing, occasionally taking pictures - I always stopped what I was doing, smiled and waved."

"Nosey Bastards!" she said louder than she had before.

"Yeah, so I rebuilt and rehung the old gate we came through earlier, again based on the original pictures, just as the council had approved in the first plans. The planner rang me about the complaint so I told her that it was an original feature shown on my plans and I was using the original hinges and strops AND the locking bar." I grinned, "of course the MAIN reason for the gate was to annoy the people up the lane. I was told by a dog walker later that month that it was really because the husband and wife couple that owned the half acre livery stables were severely pissed that the place had been bought because for two years they had been charging people to stable their horses but using three of my five meadows to graze them on and my new gate had prevented their nice easy access and they now had a mile and a half walk to trespass on my fields," we walked across the square farmyard and I pointed down, "they tried to get clever and legal with me but I work for one of the biggest land-owners in the country and no piss-poor village divorce and will-writing solicitor is going to pull the wool over my eyes on land ownership shit."

"Fucking hell!" she said, "who'd have thought it would get that nasty!"

"So war was declared, the land was mine so with the assistance of a lady Vet from the Royal Army Veterinary Corps, the girl that 'just wanted to be friends' by the way, and the local RSPCA Inspector I moved their horses back onto their land and filmed the whole thing just in case. Locked all of my gates and installed some other security measures."

"Guns and landmines? Surely you could borrow a few?"

"Sadly no, it went quiet for a few weeks, but then the bitching started - see this wonderful cobblestone courtyard here?" she looked down and nodded, "it's dated as being at least late Georgian but those bastards accused me of having just laid it because they'd never seen it before and having walked over it for two years - the planning officer sent them back the video of me and my Dad and brother with wheel barrows, shovels and brooms clearing the five or six tonnes of accumulated crap from the top of it and spreading it over what is my as yet undug vegetable garden.