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I asked "For what?"
She said "For everything. For before. For just now. Thank you for making love to me."
We were settling in and as I was drifting off to sleep, she said, "Who can we fuck tomorrow?"
After laughing together for a bit, we both fell asleep.
- COMMENTS
Eveready1999over 1 year agoA good story, but a few comments. First, no lady is going to kiss you after smoking a cigar... gross. Secondly, having unprotected sex after just meeting someone, really? I know it's "just a story" but not very passable. I did enjoy the games and teasing! Good luck in your next story.
Legio_Patria_Nostraover 1 year agoNeed a proofreader and some editing. If you do this yourself, there's a tendency for us to miss these things because of the way the brain silently reads, especially our own work. Try this, which an experienced writer passed along a while back. It works well - not foolproof - but highly effective. Read your work aloud. Not only will you catch typos, but missing words, run-on sentences and awkward sentences all "sound" like they're not right.
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Very nice story. Keep writing, keep upping your game. YouTube has some excellent writing channels.
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4/5!!
