All Comments on 'Shattered Ch. 03'

I loved the way you wrote this story. At first it caused me pause, but once I realized the style, I loved it. It felt like a classic, old piece of literature of days gone by. Very emotional, with a heartbreaking rendering of a tragedy. I found myself holding my breath as my husband read it to me (we read to each other sometimes, it is so sexy and intimate) . It is now 1:30 am. We couldn't stop until the end. You have our highest regards. Cheers!

ZEROZEROZEROZEROZERO. snark, snark; such a tacky, tawdry, smarmy, little melodrama... sarahwl, you need to get a life!

A bit ordinary, but l liked it. Jill got hers in spades, she will end up bitter and lonely, oh so lonely.

Just her, and the walking stick that will constantly remind her of what she lost.

5/5

After all the shaming, blaming and manipulation Amber gave Steve about fighting for Jill I don't why the fuck he'd want anything to do with her...a single young mom looking for a hard working sugar daddy to raise her kids. Steve was dumb to sign up for that no matter if she thinks she has a gold plated pussy.

Azpiri, you have succeeded in dragging defeat from the jaws of what would have been a spectacular victory. After having apparently learned the lessons of the first two chapters you simply flushed all of your newly acquired credit down the toilet to give us the second worst possible outcome. Also, what's all this "I'm sorry you didn't find the happiness you were looking for with Chris"? Seriously? Any normal person with an instinct for self preservation would be laughing uproariously that it all went sideways between the two cheats. That magnanimity on the part of the MC was no doubt intended by the author to convey that the MC had moved on. It failed spectacularly, only making me want to vomit as copiously as so many MCs in LW. 1 star bomb.

fuck you mary ,you are a big whore like your sister jill . and steve real men don;t ASK the wife if she love;s her boyfriend . the only thing a man care about is that his wife gave his pussy to another man.

Somehow, I don't feel like the BTB was enough. Good writing, though.

So.... were cheaters punished????

Hmmm... not really.

2 starrs

Ole Stevie has a hell of a lot more patience than most but his final revenge sounds like fun. If I had that destructive ability to computer bomb the bastards it would have happened a tad earlier in the game. I give this'un a four - I followed the destruction but it was a tad hard to follow the plot!

Modern-day realistic BTB is to walk away from the bitch. Don't give her closure. Women love closure. Wish them well and mean it so they can't make you the bad guy. You show your value as a man by not giving a duck about them or their betrayal. He's moved on. She's working a lame job, no stable man in her life to lean on, just a used up hoe. And slightly crippled too.

Don’t think I’ve read a LW story filled with more clichés than this one. Just a cut and paste from thousands of others.

Everything in italics were words that actually should have been verbalized. This was nothing more than manipulative dialog, in that the wimp was smart enough to think, but not strong enough to actually act, verbally or in actuality, in his own interest. Manipulating the reader in this way is not indicative of a good quality story, or the one that produced it. Overall really pretty bad. Why did he need to wait so long to act if he had the hacker chops to get it done? Lame.

Good 5 stars

OK, so he got there in the end. They say, revenge is a dish best served cold.

Sorry it just didn't do it for me, obviously it isn't to my taste, others enjoyed it , some thought it well written, therefore I am not going to mark it down, that wouldn't be fair.

Such potential thrown down the hole of an outhouse

Very inadequate ending.

What? Why is he with Amber? Huh?

Best revenge there is and that's living well while the ex suffers

Decent story with a very lackluster ending.

Eh, for a moment, it looked like the story was actually building up to something, but then it just kind of seemed to fizzle.

An anticlimactic ending. Too abrupt and not much to it. Will he really be happy with Amber?? Wx wife is walking but she did the typical selfish "he is married to his job, so I will cheat with an amazing new lover who really cares for me". Lol. Caring is shown not just by sex or intimacy or romance or platitudes, it is all about surviving and weathering life's challenged. Chris was a coward and bolted. Guess he wasn't the "one". Her commentary while f$cking Chris was beyond execrable and kills all chance at reconciliation regardless of her lame excuses as "sex talk". Here she cheated for one of the tip reasons that women cheat, but ended up losing everything. She will be sad and alone thenrest of her life. Mary her sister is a total bitch.

sad tale.

Not bad, but Jill should have suffered much more than she did.

The chucklehead commenters on this site think being "burned" requires physical, financial, and/or reputational injury. Like most small-minded people, they do not realize that the most effective and most insidious prison is one created by a person for themselves. Those prisons are absolutely secure and punitive in ways the "all visceral, all the time" crowd cannot comprehend. Furthermore, hard time is just that, and there is rarely any time off for good behavior. This is the prison Jill created for herself--it's Folsom Prison on steroids.

To end such a long story talking about Jonathan, who barely played much of a role at all seems rather pointless. Meanwhile, the main antagonists went out with a small paragraph and barely a squeak. So much pain and turmoil throughout the story, creating havok and destroying lives like a hurricane trying to destroy Steves life and it ended with all the rage and fury of a weak fart

So how did Dan find out about Gloria, if Dan was possibly innocent then Steve shouldn't have attacked him, it's not his fault that Gloria seduced Jill to Chris, plus Jill knew what she was doing with Jimmy, Chris, and Jon, I wonder how her sister feels about Steve now? Knowing that he is doing well, while Jill is suffering from her own transgressions. I do like how Steve wasn't being sarcastic, he was genuinely curious if Jill found what she wanted in Chris, but it just shows that she should have said something, the fact that she declined going with him on the business trips, only proved she was looking for a way out, well, she found it and can see that the grass isn't greener on the other side, hopefully, karma comes to her sister as well, since Jill could talk to her, but not Steve about their marriage.

I liked this but I like most sites when the good guys win....

The part I liked best was the character development and the silent revenge. Jill was an easy mark for Dan, Gloria and Chris as she probably never really loved Steve. he was just someone who loved her to death and took her away from a life of being a "ugly duckling", Also why do women who are stay at home wives, end up bitching about their husbands working all the time but never get a job to help out? O really think they almost always (on this site) end up with an empty chair for an affair partner. One last item; Gloria should have or in the future felt Steve's wrath and should suffer... Maybe a violent STD....

Mate, you really need to rewrite that ending. It's completely balls compared to the rest of the story.

Breathlessly, the woman cried out, "My god, I never knew sex could be like this!" She whimpered out a moan of pleasure, "I've wasted twenty years of my life! Your cock is so big!" Her voice went up an octave with that last word.

====> Yeah that absolutely kills a marriage. Was her first time, but so what? She stuck a fork in her marriage because her husband made a living for their family. Yes a workaholic can break the vows of the marriage by not cherishing or honoring the marriage, but the aggrieved spouse needs to speak up and bring things to a reckoning, even if he means arguing. Btw usually these things don't just blow up after 20 years. They typically argue a lot as the kids get older in high school, and then eventually break out of control if no resolution. Unlikely therr is no friction until suddenly bam 20+ years. But hey it is fiction.

So in the final chapter Steve suddenly grows up and becomes mentally strong. Highly unlikely without counselling. Why is it in these stories once he leaves the wife suddenly he falls on his feet and becomes a success. To rosey an ending for Steve after the previous two chapters.

To the anon before:

Easy answer.

If you are shocked to your core, it changes something inside of you.

For good or bad.

„Counselling“ is not an aswer to your own decision.

"Only one person ever truly rocked my world, Steve."

.

"Yeah, you were really partial to Chris, weren't you?"

Think that'll hurt her?

Well the wages of sin are death. In this case the death of their marriage and Jill is left with a sh%tty life, using a cane, struggling to make ends meet, two children that will forever think less of her, and a dead end relationship with Jimmy the asshole.

Her "wasted 20 years statement" does not rectify with her "only one person truly rocked my world" comment. Honestly being deep on an affair like that, the thrill of hot, new sex partner, some of her first statement probably was hyperbole. But it doesn't matter. He is not a telepathic, and those words are marriage killers. Meanwhile, ge final statement was a nice sentiment and may have had some real truth to it. But it doesn't matter because she nuked her marriage from orbit and Steve had moved on. Agree with prior commenter, that unusual for the wife to hide her dissatisfaction with him working and away on business so much for so long with no arguments or bickering, but instead unloading with her sister Mary (hence all the vitriol with Mary) and probably with Gloria, which set thebstage for the affair. Glad Steve burned Jimmy, Dan and Gloria. Chris was such an absolute loser, that there was not nothing left to burn. She really thought that sex with Chris and his seduction was so good that he really loved her and that she loved him? Lol. She is a moron. Trading up to a forklift operator who lives in a trailer when she is 40 years old? Riiiight. Good luck with that. Oh snap! She did try it and Chris ran away because he lost his job and didn't want to deal with her, beyond imsex when she wa healthy. Gloria called that one. Not much gray here. The wife wasn't evil but wow she sure destroyed any good memories of their marriage besides their kids. Hope Steve has a happy rest of his life with Amber. His ex-wife's comment about rocking her world, ws more about she had forgotten what she had until she killed it off and now regrets what she lost. Too bad. So sad. Don't cheat. There are literally hundreds of ways to try and force/beg/manipulate/seduce her husband to spend more time with her that do not involve cheating behind his back in a lengthy affair. She did none of those because ahe is selfish and weak.

Drivel!

No karma for Mary?

why was he still simping for that whore in page 1?!