All Comments on 'Shawn and Kendall Ch. 01'

Like the slow burn. Looking forward to the next chapter!

Absolutely beautiful! Terrific writing, emotionally powerful plot and, most importantly, the love between the siblings just waiting to blossom.

However, for just giving us mere 5,000 words which didn't even last 20 minutes, you, kind sir, should be arrested!

Second chapter please! ASAP!!

Good premise.

But all back story/setup.

And you wrote: "He curiously analyzed his physic..." You meant PHYSIQUE.

Four stars.

4 Stars. I understand where you're going, just disappointed that you didn't reach a good ending point to whet my appetite.

I'm reading the comments left by others and I have to disagree with one or two of them. 🙃 You're doing fine with the slow burn. 🔥 But some of them obviously had a negative reaction to the lack of explicit sex. For gawds sake people, whatever happened to reading a story just for the simple diversion from reality that it brings to you? 🙄

You've done a wonderful job of making me hate Bradley on so many different levels. Your description of how he treats Kendall paints him perfectly as a typical narcissist. Especially the "I'm always right and you're always wrong" bit. Classic! But you also wrote two things that really mismatch in my humble opinion.

When Shawn comments about how unusual it was for Kendall to show up, she responded with "I still live here" but then you detailed her relationship with Bradley as they have been together for 4 years and she has been trying to get pregnant for the past 5 months. I realize that she hasn't been living with Bradley for the entire 4 years of their relationship, but if she's been trying to get pregnant for 5 months, then that implies that she's been living with him for a bit longer than that. So what is she actually doing? 🤔 Is she living at home or living with Bradley?

I'm also troubled by Bradley and Kendall trying to start a family together without being legally married to each other. Unfortunately, there's lots of people who have done that in real life. 😕 But generally speaking, planned or intentional pregnancies usually occur in families who have mothers and fathers who are married, not just shacking up. It doesn't make sense that a girl like Kendall who is so meticulous about her looks (your description) would be deliberately trying to get knocked up without the ring on her finger to make it legitimate. I'm just saying.

I'm looking forward to reading the next installment. 4/5

Very well written. I'm actually enjoying the slow burn. I love the characters and the way the sorty is unfolding.

Nice. I like how you develop the brother/sister characters and let us learn about them.

The story appears to beg for completion and ironically, and somewhat amusingly, the slow burn for a completion is already occurring.

Apologies, excusing my obtuse sense of humour.

Bro's lost in the sauce ☠️