All Comments on 'She Wants an Open Relationship'

This is way, way, way too wordy. It's extremely repetitive and rambles all over the place. I didn't make it past the 2nd page.

crazy but funny :D

Soon as the mother came to see him the story ended for me

Honestly, i loved how incredibly outrageous this was, just like your other stories; one thing though, his wife’s name changes half way through, which throws you off a bit ;)) but otherwise, good funny outrageous stroke story. Fuck the haters, we’re not here to read Oprah approved stories, though this should be on her reading list

Interesting story!

4

Typos and errors litter this story. For some reason Betty became Mary please try and get a editor. 1 star just for publishing

Ah Nother early morning shot of Falstaff…!!! The Bard is doing his best art as usual while yet another Trucker character spins, wildly twirling hands and arms outstretched jumping grabbing seducing shouting his drunken laughing to the heavens… Here stands a Man. Unashamed Unbowed with the strength of the Lion and the great heart of the lamb.

Yet another great revel. 5 stars

Juvenile.

Just mad

Over the top! His wife had even name changes, from Betty to Mary, back to Betty and finally Mary. Don’t you proof read? Also his relationship with mother-in-law was confusing. Not very convincingly told.

Well Dave, a true fantasy! Why not repost in scifi or horror?

I have read a good many of your previous submissions, and enjoyed them, but I can't help but feel Ike this was written by someone else.

The sexual scenarios make me think that they are from a teenaged boys wet dream, and the dialog feels like it was written by a girl.

Sorry. Just my opinion. Three stars...Thanks

This is obviously written by a malnourished, concave-chested middle school boy with terminal acne and thick glasses…

A pile of poop!

Way too long - started pretty good but also way too unrealistic. 3*

Wow this was some twilight zone reading right here 🎶🎼🎵

Meh!

So over the top funny.

Moronic!

That's going to happen???? Really!!!!! Zero chance!!!!!

I was going to offer constructive criticism BUT... this is such a mess it would take pages and pages of comments to fix this sub standard Mills and Boon crap. Vomit worthy.

OK that was funny, but you might want to lay off the caffeine when writing.

We're you drunk when you wrote this tripe?

Disjointed, confusing prose. I didn't even make it thru to the second page.

5 starred crap - 1 star publication.

cucks get one star

The story was so damn repetitive and slow that I could not finish reading. Just boring.

Susan – first girlfriend

Betty – second girlfriend and wife

Regina (Reg) – mother-in-law

Cassandra (Cass) – sister-in-law

Alma – nanny

Becky – young girl next door

Zia – Alma’s younger sister

By the way, Regina started "operation karma" and sicked her investigators on Mary's ex boyfriend and paramours.

I heard a whimper and looked at the door... there was my ex wife Mary staring at me and the four happy woman in my bed.

Mary – who’s Mary

Absurd, but fun. The problem with stories here is that they end with "...so I divorced her, got better sex, and won the lottery!" This is the ultimate bit of silly fantasy, but there is a time and a place for silly fantasy, so I enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing.

What an imagination. How long have u been day dreaming that one. Like a young boys fantasy.

then I guess the Crazy in the author's name came out and it not only went over the top, the cow jumped over the moon. The little thing about the prenup and the actual divorce then just went into the throwaway plot device pile.

Pure unbelievable fantasy....

Wondered why the scores were so low. Then i read the story, or rather the first 2/3's. Disjointed, and stupid.

He did not want to use the prenup unless wife forced the issue. She had a name for the supposed father then later had no idea who it might be.

The MC was a workaholic, CEO and manager of his in-law's business, then he is considering another job. Not just that they approached him but had the details of the offer ironed out. For fairly long story this was just a rambling mess.

Usually like this author, but this one is way too wordy and repetitive. Characters names were changed which made the story confusing. Got through 3 pages then quit reading. really hated this one! Main character should have used the post-nup in the divorce to keep the kids, he so loved. Whole story was confusing.

This went from usual LW to deranged fast

Started off ok but then descended into a childish pathetic romp. Grow up and write for adults

Started off fairly okay and then took a hard left into Crazytown!

I can deal with crazy but the repetition did it for me. Could have been several pages shorter.

And who the hell is Mary?

Started strong and then went to shit. Just too much unbelievable shit. 1/5

The weird name shifting was confusing but other than that a fun story,

Great Writing, Great Story. Hallmark Movie Moment. Cheating and Betrayal. Heartbreak and forgiveness. This story has everything. 10 stars, Great Job, thanks

It started out fairly good for the first few paragraphs, then it just started down from there and ended in ... I don't know what to call it. After page 3 I just skipped to the ending. Can't read anymore.

Dumbest fucking story on this website. Not worth 1 star.

ok story. at some point ex-wife Betty became Mary. confusing.

Wow. That was bad. What a shame too. It started out as an okay story. Then you had to ruin it with the whole over the top mother-in-law, sister-in-law, nanny crap. Making him the most desired guy on the planet. Uh huh, right.

Fun til the end. I'm BTB all the way. Hate the RAC/CUCK shit. I mean who could take back a skank who did all the shit she did unless you're a full blown CUCK. Don't enjoy this site as much as I used to. Why can't Literotica split off RAC and Cuck into their own categories for those who like that stuff. Not judging...Different strokes for different folks.

You're a raging bull in an erotic literature china shop - LOL! At its core, there's a fun story in there but the narrative and style are...well, they suck. Constantly repeating ideas from MCs, contradicting narrative, running through the erotica writer's checklist is just way over the top. Best I can do is 3*, if I round up. Properly executed, this story could be 5+. 3*

A typical mad, crazy hilarious Dave story. What a roller coaster ride it was. Into my favourites it goes. I loved it. But Dave, Betty became Mary, keep an eye on that Dave. Read your own story first.

But it was loads of honest fun, scores 5/5. Awaiting your next feast.

What a childish story

Well, there’s “really over the top” and “really over the top, but great!” It’s not easy to do both. This was closer to the first. Too much of it (for me) didn’t make a lot of sense and some of it was hard to follow. I gradually found myself losing interest and skimming. Maybe that’s a sign that goofy stories can be fun, but it’s really hard to make it work for very long. Thanks for taking a shot at it, though.

Loved it and enjoyed it. Should do a part 2.

The next generation. When the kids get older, they start playing and fucking each other. The parents catch them, but instead of being upset, they join in. Dad can get his daughters and wives pregnant again or let his sons get the daughters and/or mom’s pregnant.

If you’re going to take the time to write, then take the time to brush up on the basics first. Mechanically, this was a huge mess.

CrazyDave please wait until after your eighteenth birthday before publishing next story. This simplistic teen fantasy of every woman falling in love / lust with MC is not interesting.

I was enjoying the story until the women started showing up at his apartment. At that point, the story just turned into an unrealistic teenage fap fantasy, gone wild. Too bad...

Wow! Truly appalling. The character name changes would have left me reeling, if I'd cared.

Absolutely worth flipping through and reading about 50 words on each page - that'll cover the complete "plot" and give other writers a run down on what not to do.

What a mess. What started out as a reasonably wild ride ended up being utter chaos I got about half way through and just skimmed the rest of the way. Don't think I missed anything worth noting. 2*

This man has one great imagination and can go on a wild tangent . Not believable but entertaining

I tried. even gave you grace for the crazy, over-the-top stuff, but bringing the ex-wife back and messing up her name was awful

Chuckles. You need a bit of proof-reading and editing on this one mate. Otherwise, it was a good one ... a tad over the top, maybe. Enjoyable, nonetheless.

Went totally off the rails with mother and sister. Turned into crap after that. Won't even get into the horrible punctuation and lack of proof reading your own work.

Like others said, not totally believable. But I enjoyed it. I especially loved the mother / daughters incest scenes. Not sure how old the children are, But by now they ought to be aware of sex and knowing the women and dad are doing it. I think when they become of age, they ought to be given the choice / opportunity to participate.

5 stars up to the milti-girl orgy and the lack of control he exhibited. He is the CEO and the prenuptial gave him complete control of the situation. She should have been forced out and he stays with the house and kids.

After 121 stories you still haven't learned to write a good one? *

Fun story! Should have denied his ex, making her the family slave and too bad the bastard baby wasn't brain damaged. Consequences.

Started out good, up to when Betty wanted an open marriage & all that happened after that. Too much repetition in the dialogue there, & from fuck no to the idea, he seemed to accept it. That lost me. 2 stars Bob

A decent, but standard absurd tale. The wife's name changing from Mary to Becky really distracts from the continuity of the tale. Also, him changing jobs from CEO to head of a distribution plant makes absolutely no sense on a reasonable pay scale. Your stories always feature someone who a) has a large penis, and 2) ends up as the only male satisfying multiple women - usually at least 3. I would like to see if you can write a story a bit closer to reality. Very few guys have huge dicks, and it is difficult meeting the needs of 1 person. Imagine having to meet the needs of 4 (now 5) wives and who knows how many children?!?

Started out good then you killed this story with Paul fucking his opair, Regina ,Cass. Over the top and total bulshit.

The could have been an amazing BTB... then he went 95% wimpy and (a) admitted he'd take her back if she stopped fucking around before divorce; (b) didn't enforce the pre-nup; (c) let her back into his life at the end :( :( :(. At least he had enough brains to admit that still loving her is bad.

I'm still giving it 4 stars for happy end for protagonist, but can't splurge for 5 stars due to lack of actual BTB.

Oh and "broke except for trust fund"???? What planet are you from? That's called "rich".

Definitely outrageous, but one can't complain as the author thoughtfully described this as a "tall tale" right at the start, so I am fine with how outlandish it was. I thought the story was interesting and had some decent characterization. However, this story really could have used a good editor to clean it up for length. So much of it was repetitive. Every time the lead character would make a point, he beat that point into the ground. I ended up probably skimming through a good third of the story due to the writing not adding anything to the story. I still gave it 4 stars, as I did like it, but it could have been better if more of it got to the point quicker.

Again, not a loving wife story. A horny cheating slut who craves any mans cock.

A simple get to the point always works better than drawing out the BS.

I like the idea of your story. The sheer volume of events makes it hard to enjoy. Like sitting down to dinner but finding out you cant leave the table without eating a full eleven courses. Also it's impossible to believe he would take the cheater back. Thank you.

So, just to summarize what I've read and agree with: a little reality would have gone a long way towards improving this story, even if you did basically warn that there wouldn't be much around. Suspension of disbelief can greatly improve the enjoyment of a story, and it's hard to achieve here.

But than went off the rail. Really was a fantasy

Different. Entertaining. Fun to read. Thanks.

Ed

Wow you're going to burn in hell for that one... not because of the incest but all the nonys whining about it being in the wrong category lol

LOADS was wrong with this, but it wouldn't be Crazy Dave if there wasn't. Though switching between Betty and Mary was annoying.

Did like that the bastards got burned and conditionally Betty/Mary was allowed into the fold.

OH! That's it!! He never reconciled with Betty, Mary was someone else.

You did miss a trick, you could have found a way to get Susan into the stable :D

So much of the plot is beyond the pale that the story became exhausting to read. Maybe dial it back a bit next time. Thanks for your efforts.

So over the top. Who is Mary? 6 times you use Mary's name.e and not Betty's. You wrote this shit you a hit you should keep up with the names. Guess you have not been out of mom's basement in a while.

Never happen in a billion years, but sometimes outlandish is fun!

Started well and the story turned out to be incest,adultery and by the end the ex wife name was changed from Betty into.Mary.The story stink like shit,deserves one star.The so call writer should not drink spiked alcoholic drink otherwise the brain will always be cooked

So he can't keep his wife happy in bed, but suddenly he's got 3 or 4 he's fucking, I stopped reading. So over the fucking top its ridiculous.

The story is much too wordy and became very boring.

Blablablabla...

It started off well

Was there a story in that jumble of words?

Too much sex, not enough story. LP

Nope

@lujon2019,

are you a cuck?

Thank you CDT60 for another over the top fuck fest. It was rather long.

Ok, with Betty/Mary that makes 5. At least three women pregnant simultaneously. That is superhero brave. Now Susan needs to show up and say she has been in counseling for her nymphomania since the night he caught her with the quarterback and has not been with a man since she was last with him and will he please take her back? And by the way she is an heiress and a billionaire.

That brings him up to my fantasy quota of six. Dave, you are living up to the name.

You missed him slipping the lifers at the prison cartons of cigarettes every week to keep the seducer/boyfriend entertained and constant.

It took some days for me to complete but it's worth it. All was realities based and I'm glad that the guy was really sensitive for the girls. Just loved the flow of the story ☺️. If it's true one, I greatly appreciate the guy. Best wishes Paul ( if that's the true name)

Good story until you went to far overboard with all these women falling in love with him

Reads like something a 16 year old incel would write. The type of incel that would shoot up a place because the girl he held the door open to him didn't immediately give him a blowjob for his "knightly" behaviour.

Started good and then went off the rails.

This could have been about one third the length presented here. Many times you reworded or straight up repeated things 3 times. Then half way through it got silly. I skimmed the first sentence of each paragraph for the last 3 pages

We were warned this would be a bit of departure from his norm. It is. But only mildly. Dave is neither the first nor the last to do this. I figured that since she had two faces, two names shouldn't be much of a stretch. Five stars.

Another teenage fantasy.

I had to take away one star for the RAAC at the end. So close to sticking the landing.

It wasn’t explicit, but I guess he also allowed her to bring her black baby into the house for him to raise like a proper cuck.

Always entertaining. I agree with the repeating of the same thing several times but worse was Betty becoming Mary.

[25.12.22]

Fun and Enetertaining!

11/10!!!!!

Fun, wild, WAY over the top, ride.