All Comments on 'Sherry at Work'

It's difficult to get a good score using the present tense.

You're not chatting to your readers, you're giving them something to read, so cut out all the extraneous words. Getting someone who is reasonably literate to read it before you post would be helpful; an editor even better.

At least you should revisit the difference between adverbs and adjectives...

No normal values of fidelity, loyalty, even human decency. Just some dogs that meet in an alley and fuck when they can. Great people.

Crap story. Who knows what it is about? Your word choice and spelling are terrible and make it impossible to enjoy the first page of your story. Go back to eighth grade grammar class and pay attention this time!f

I'm sure you would have done much better but we'll never know since you have done nothing so far.