Shipping and Handling Ch. 01

This story is part of an ongoing series. The chronological order of my stories is listed in WifeWatchman's biography.

Feedback and constructive criticism is very much appreciated, and I encourage feedback for ideas.

This story contains graphic scenes, language and actions that might be extremely offensive to some people. These scenes, words and actions are used only for the literary purposes of this story. The author does not condone murder, racial language, violence, rape or violence against women, and any depictions of any of these in this story should not be construed as acceptance of the above.

Part 1 - Prologue

Monday, March 25th. The world was exploding.

It certainly seemed so, anyway. Reporters literally knocked each other over to get out of the Committee chamber to report that I had just taken the Fifth rather than be entrapped by Legislators's questions on the Jared/Braselton/Rodman 'incident'.

The Members of the State House Judicial Committee were in open shock, none of them having expected that I would do what I had done. Their reaction was nowhere near what was on the faces of Republican State Attorney General Karl Handel and former Independent State Counsel Robert Mullen; they looked as if they had just been shot in the chest... and in the legal sense, they had been.

"Let's go." said my attorney Mike G. Todd. As we got up, Mike made the 'call me' gesture towards Committee Chairman Justin Madoff. Too stunned to act, Madoff did nothing as Mike and I left the Chamber.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"What did he just do?" exclaimed Detective Joanne Warner as a large number of Detectives, Officers, and the TCPD leadership watched on television.

"What he always does." said a grinning Captain Tanya Perlman. "He walks into the trap, springs his own, and walks back out."

"But... taking the Fifth?" asked a shocked Detective Roy McGillie. "What does that do for him?"

"They cannot charge him with lying under oath, is what it does for him." said ADA Paulina Patterson. "They'll either have to give him immunity, full immunity, or it's over and they have nothing on the Governor."

"I get that." said Detective Julia Rodriguez. "But won't this really hurt the Governor? Won't they say Commander Troy is hiding something, and covering up for Governor Jared?"

"Aren't they saying that anyway?" asked Deputy Chief Cindy Ross, drawing instant silence as that bit of truth slapped them in their collective face. Turning back to the telecast, Cindy said "Please keep reminding me to never play poker with the Iron Crowbar."

"And that's why he dressed in a civilian suit rather than his uniform." said Julia Rodriguez, beginning to figure it out. "He didn't want the Media showing him taking the Fifth as a Police Officer."

The chatter started up as everyone began realizing what I had done, and the implications of it.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The hallway of the State Capitol building was full of reporters. I had Midtown P.D. Officers protecting me, as I did not trust the State Capitol Police as far as I could throw them. Between the MPD and some State Patrol Officers, an alley was made for me to walk freely. Still, reporters tried to press in on us (pun not intended) as they screamed questions at me, which I simply ignored.

"Where do you want to go?" asked Mike Todd as we were escorted into an area that was off-limits to the rabid Press.

"Why don't you come to MPD Headquarters?" said MPD Chief Frank Soltis. "We've got something we'd like to ask you about, anyway."

"Sounds good." said Mike. "Don, they're probably not going to call me until they have meetings to determine what to do."

"Meetings." I said. "There is one thing I can be sure of in all this: my daughter will never run for political office. She hates 'meetings'."

"Smart girl." said Frank Soltis. "Tell her not to grow up too fast." Too late, I thought to myself. Too late...

Part 2 - Moving and Machinations

The meeting was being held in the Conference Committee room, where State House and State Senate delegations ironed out differences in passed bills. Top Legislators of both Parties were in the room.

So was State Attorney General Karl Handel, who was muttering over and over "He took the Fifth... he took the Fifth...", his voice connoting sheer disbelief.

"He burned all our asses with that." said House Ways and Means Committee Chairman Elijah McKinney, his voice almost jovial like Micah Rudistan's always seemed to be.

"You seem to be happy about it." snarled Justin Madoff, his face ugly with bitter hatred.

"I think it's funny." McKinney unabashedly replied. "That Iron Crowbar, he's a tricky man, a sneaky, tricky man. I wish it were possible for me to like him."

"I sure as hell don't like him." said House Minority Leader Wilson Hammonds, the Establishment Republican from Pottsville. "We had the bastard where we wanted him... and we let him off the hook."

"Ladies and gentlemen," said State Rep. Tasheeka Harris (D - Midtown), in whose District the State Capitol sat, "let's remember that the important thing is impeaching and convicting the racist Val Jared."

"And by taking the Fifth," said State Rep. Hoyt Stenson (D - Jacksonville), "Commander Troy has shown that there is a 'there' there, that there is a smoking gun. We should give Commander Troy immunity, and then force him to tell us everything he knows that will get Jared impeached and convicted."

"No!" yelled Karl Handel. "That is what you must not do! I want Troy's head on a spit. I want to charge him with perjury no matter what he says. If you give him immunity, I can't do that."

"What's more important? Getting the Iron Crowbar, or getting Val Jared?"asked a voice from a distance, a voice that connoted authority and confidence. Everyone looked up to see State Senator Katherine Woodburn (D - 1st District) coming up to the table.

"Jared." said Stenson. Many agreed with him.

"No!" snarled Karl Handel. "It's more important to bust Troy's balls. He's been helping and supporting Jared against us. I'll never forgive that bastard for interfering with my rightful Republican Caucus win."

"Suit yourself." Woodburn said, her voice reptilian in its flatness. "But you won't get revenge, not that way, not now. He's beaten you, Handel, as surely as if he took his crowbar and repeatedly pounded you on the back with it."

"So let's give Troy immunity." said Tasheeka Harris. "Get him back here to testify, and if Jared doesn't resign, he'll be impeached before the session ends."

"Are you sure?" asked Woodburn.

"What do you mean?" asked Hoyt Stenson, who considered Woodburn to be pushy and limitlessly ambitious, and therefore a threat to his own limitless ambitions.

"Are you absolutely sure whatever Donald Troy would say will implicate Jared?" asked Woodburn.

"Obviously it would." said Justin Madoff. "Why else would he have taken the Fifth?"

Katherine Woodburn whimpered a laugh. "Let me drop some unwelcome truth upon you people. The Fifth Amendment gives a person the right to not self-incriminate himself, or herself as the case may be. Your idiot A.G. Handel just admitted in front of you, out loud, that he intended to incriminate Troy no matter what Troy actually said. So the Iron Crowbar very correctly took the Fifth."

"However," Woodburn continued, as everyone looked daggers at Handel, "to the point of his testimony, Commander Troy has never said anything except that he opened the investigation of Braselton and Rodman before telling the Governor he would do so. You can read the Independent State Counsel's mind-numbingly boring report. We're not supposed to know what the Special Grand Jury was told, but they refused to indict Troy or Jared. So before you give Troy immunity... you better be sure of what he is going to say."

"We're glad to have your input and advice, Senator Woodburn." said Elijah McKinney affably. "What do you recommend we do? Nothing?"

"Exactly, Chairman McKinney." Woodburn said. "Do nothing. Remember, I was once the owner of a News Media organization, and in this case the Media has tremendous power to help you. Let them chant over and over again, day after day after day, that Commander Donald Troy covered up Jared's crimes by taking the Fifth. The damage to both will be devastating."

"And will that be enough to get the racist Jared out of office?" asked Tasheeka Harris.

"Probably not." said Elijah McKinney, catching on. "He's a lame duck, he can ride out the storm. And people will forget Donald Troy took the Fifth when they read the next headline of the next 400-billion-dollar drug bust he makes."

"Then that's not good enough!" Wilson Hammonds almost shouted. "It is absolutely imperative that Val Jared be removed from office for his racist abuses of undocumented workers!"

"He's hamstrung." said Katherine Woodburn. "Why not just let him sit there and let the Media pound away at him? It will also hurt Sharon Marshall's chances to be the Republicans's next nominee for Governor, which might be more important than getting Jared."

"Why not?" Hammonds yelled. "Because we have to punish the Voters that voted for him! We have to show the Voters that they are required to accept our choices for them, and if they vote for someone like Val Jared or Sharon Marshall, then we will correct their mistakes, and show them the error of their way in thinking they can ever be free of us! This is about shoving a crowbar up the ass of every person that voted for Val Jared!"

Everyone looked at Wilson Hammonds as if he was going insane, and they might not have been wrong to think that. Seeing their looks, he snarled at them "You Democrats know it's true, too, and you're no better. You want 'one man, one vote, one time', and then you'll control the population with an iron fist, just like your Socialist brothers did in Venezuela."

"All right, all right, enough of that." said Justin Madoff, not liking it that Hammonds was dropping truth bombs about both Parties.

"What about limited immunity?" asked Stenson. "We give Troy immunity from any abuse charges stemming from his helping Jared harass those women, but not on what he says during his testimony."

Katherine Woodburn could not help it; she burst out laughing like Cindy Ross's sister Molly often did, and Cindy herself did at times. Then the humor left her as quickly as it came, and she said bitterly "Are you people really that stupid? You think the Iron Crowbar isn't going to see right through that?"

"If we offer immunity, he can't take the Fifth." said Stenson, trying to play the intellectual. "He will have to testify, and if he doesn't tell us what we want to hear, we refer perjury charges to the State Attorney General."

"He'll tie that up in Court for years." Katherine Woodburn said.

"And he'll be suspended while he does." said Handel.

"What if he's not?" asked Elijah McKinney. "What if the judge, or the State Supreme Court, orders a stay of his suspension, and he's fully on duty while it goes to Court? And I'll tell you now... he can reject limited immunity and keep his invocation of the Fifth."

"It's worth the try." said Stenson. State A.G. Handel nodded vigorously in agreement.

"I'm going to meet with the members of the Committee," said Justin Madoff, "and we'll decide what to do..."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I went into Midtown PD. Chief Frank Soltis took me to the office area that contained the desks where then-Captain Moynahan and Detectives Molly Evans, Wes Masters, and Frank Soltis had once worked.

"Yes, same office, greater brain trust now." said Soltis, seeing my look as I glanced around. "Steve Ruger and Kimberly Wesson are at Police Academy Advanced Course with your Detective Jerome Davis, but we have a promising pair of new Detectives."

He led me to two desks facing each other, and said: "This is Nell Bell. She's like your Mary Milton: very good with the computers and analysis, and she can out-shoot anyone on the Midtown Force. And this is Eric Hannum, who is good enough to be one of your Mouseketeers, but has also shown great ability at crime scenes."

Nell Bell was pretty and had brown hair, and she was short, fairly fit, and did not look like someone with the IQ I'd heard she had. Eric Hannum was medium height and build, blondish-brown hair, glasses that made him look a bit nerdish. He was dressed in civilian clothes, and rather 'casual' clothing at that.

"Wow, the Iron Crowbar!" Nell said in wonder as I shook her hand. She had a very sweet, feminine voice. "I've heard so much about you!"

"Just the good stuff, I hope." I said. "I've heard of you, too... you took the Police Academy by storm." As I shook Hannum's hand, I said "My Captain Perlman said you are great at crime scenes."

"She tried to recruit me as a CSI when she was the State Crime Lab Director." said Eric, who looked a little afraid of me for no reason I could understand. "But I really wanted to be a field Officer."

"That's her story, too; she prefers being a field Detective." I said. "Chief Soltis, who is their unit leader?"

"Me personally." said Chief Soltis. "For now, anyway. Either Ruger or Wesson is going to be promoted to Detective Sergeant, and eventually we'll have a Lieutenant or Captain for the unit... once I find someone I can trust. I'd love it if 'Coldiron' Masters would come back, but he seems to love it in City I.A."

"I think you're right." I said. "So, what was the case you wanted to discuss with me?"

We sat down near Nell's desk. She brought up images on the giant plasma screen on the wall opposite the desks.

"We've had three reported thefts since the calendar year began." said Nell Bell. "People hire movers off Craigslist or other online sites, the movers come, they load up everything the family owns... and then they don't show up at the new location, and are never seen again, anywhere."

"That's just in our jurisdiction." said Eric Hannum. "We ran a check with the State Regional Intelligence Center, the SRIC. There have been a number of these thefts over the last six months all over the State."

"We're not part of the SRIC." I said. "But we get a report of one of these every once in a while. A couple of times it was a scam run by University students. So what's the special thing about them you wanted to bring to my attention?"

"The last two we had," said Nell Bell, "and a couple that came up in the Pottsville area, were not with unknown fly-by-night movers from Craigslist, but from State Moving Services, a wholly-owned subsidiary of State Parcel Service. SMS actually came to us about the last one, saying their reputation and their insurance was taking a hit, and they really wanted to catch whoever was using their name."

She continued: "They claimed that the customer arranged with them for the move, but the trucks that arrived were not real SMS trucks, but other trucks painted with the SMS logo, and when the real SMS trucks arrived, they found the fake movers had already carted the family's valuables away."

"O-kayyy, so it could be someone on the inside feeding perps that information." I mused. "They need to find the leak." I'm sure they were thinking that I was annoyed that they were even discussing this with me. Chief Soltis stepped in, trying to help.

"Commander," he said, "we're bringing this to your attention for a couple of reasons. First, in case you see a pattern we've missed. And second... who in the SBI do we take this to?"

"To answer your second question first, and to make a short story long," I replied, "the SBI is compartmentalized, into Immigration and Drug Enforcement (IDE); Bureau of Firearms and Explosives (BFE); State Tax Enforcement (STE) in conjunction with the State Tax Authority; the Office of Ethics and Review (OER); and the Office of Financial Investigations (OFI), which includes Statewide financial crimes and insurance issues, in conjunction with the State Insurance Commissioner's office. "

I continued: "There really is no SBI non-drug Vice unit, despite SBI Chaplain Ikea's attempts to start one to bust prostitutes all over the State. There are SBI Agents theoretically not assigned to any specific branch, and the idea is that they would assist local LEOs to investigate crimes of violence, such as homicides and robberies. But the SBI has become so despised that their help is virtually never asked for."

I went on: "If there is anyone to call, the SBI-OFI might be the answer, since the insurance companies are having to pay for the thefts. Other than them, all you can do is work with other local jurisdictions, or contact the FBI if you can show something crosses State lines."

"As to the first question," I said as I pored over the data, "for the most part these guys are small fry selling to independent fencers, and it's unlikely that there is one large organization behind this. Like I said before, the SMS connection suggests someone on the inside is getting information on potential targets, and that might be worth glancing into a bit harder. But other than that, I just don't see anything big on this..."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Sorry to bother you with that." said Chief Soltis as we walked down the halls to his office.

"No, it's not a bother." I said. "Just not much I can do with it. Looks like they did well to get the SMS connection, though."

As we went into the Chief's office and sat down, Chief Soltis said "Nell Bell is one of the highest-IQ persons ever to graduate the Police Academy. The SRIC tried to hire her as an analyst, but she didn't want to be limited to an office. That's also why we didn't put her under Lieutenant David Krueger; he wants to be in charge of analysts, and she's not the one. I'm a bit surprised the TCPD didn't grab her."

"We probably would have," I said, "if we didn't have Myron and Mary Milton already. I'm glad you snagged her. You could use that kind of help, here."

"I'm glad we did, too." said Soltis. "Anyway, she's the one that got onto these moving van thefts, then found the SMS connection. She's like a pit bull: she'll bite down and not let go until there's just nothing left to chew on."

"And Eric Hannum?" I asked.

"He's a good crime scene analyst." said Soltis. "He's also a lot better with data mining than he tries to let on. I think he's afraid we'll stick him into Intelligence Analysis with David Krueger. And he may well be right. I'm monitoring to see how that shakes out."

I nodded. "That's the thing, isn't it?" I asked. "Putting people where they need to be, and what's in the best interest of the Force, but also where they want to be and what makes them happy. Sometimes... those don't mix well."

"What do you do when something like that comes up?" asked Chief Soltis.

"I go to the guys with decades of experience: Sheriff Griswold and Chief Moynahan." I replied. "I'm a good Detective, but I freely admit that I'm not above getting better advice when I'm in over my head."

"I hear ya." said Soltis. "And thank God Chief Moynahan takes my phone calls. Just between us, Don... I really was in over my head when I took this job. I wasn't ready, and it was almost too big for me. Molly got it right, taking the NCPD Chief position."

"Nonsense." I said. "You've done very well here. You had to grow up fast, but you were up to it. And just between us... Chief Moynahan is very proud of you and your success here. Very proud." I didn't say it out loud, but Moynahan's relationship with his old Midtown group was not unlike my relationship with now-Sheriff Griswold...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

2:10pm, Monday, March 25th. My cellphone rang. It was Mike G. Todd.

"Hey Don," he said, "they're offering limited immunity."

"Define 'limited'." I said.