All Comments on 'Show and Tell'

A nice encouraging story for many of us going through divorce. Sometimes we don't see what's right in front of us or when we do find it, don't act fast enough to keep it.

perhaps, rebound? But it can also be real, some people make the mistake of saying I am not ready and without realizing throw away what is actually their soulmate. I especially like the one, I am not ready yet. As if true love will stand at the door and wait on you to be ready. What is really bad is most men and almost all women marry out of lust not love, and later, find they have lost lust and have nothing except marriage, mortgage, and kids to hold on to. Sorta like the women who are into starter husbands, and men who seek trophy wives.

Great story - sweet ---- The best revenge is a good life and he certainly is headed for one!

I anticipated a resolution of the 'Joy' problem. Your humiliation scene was quite dramatic, and begs for some sort of response. He meekly went along with her plans to dissolve the marriage, and why not, but never referring to Joy again lacks symmetry. Just my opinion.

You know, the minute a woman is impaled on a man is a golden opportunity. Don't waste it. Just deal out the kick of your life with all your power and a lot of speed. Just aim for the centre of mass. It's hard to miss because it's where the two bodies are connected. Cheers, Umberto

The husband should have shot Joy and the black guy and then cut his cock off then put them both through the shredder then when the wifes friends came looking for her he should tell them that she left with another guy after he caught them making out.

This was a nice story, but there was not much to it. --Adulterous wife dumps him--he finds loving woman- they live happily ever after. nothing wrong with the story, but no suspense or excitement in it.

the Ct. Yankee

i agree though, not much to the story. Hey BORNAGAIN where did it say his soon to be ex was fucking a black guy? idiot,..sounds like you just told YOUR story, lol. Your old lady leave you for a black guy did she? lmao

Joy, and Kevin placed themselves in a most vulnerable position for good old hubby to beat them half to death. He should have taken a persuader and ruptured Kevin's balls then beat the living shit out of Joy. As for the person that wanted to see a reconciliation, no way. What she did was like committing an act of war. When your so called loving wife is screwing a grocery employee, there is no way that a sane man would ever take her back. Next time, let him find, fuck and leave women, but for sakes don't fall in love with them let alone marry them. As you can tell, I vote a lot on the content of the story and this was not a happy story.

<p>The entire story about Joy and Kevin could have been reduced to 3 or 4 sentences, both were throw-away characters and added nothing to the story. </p>

<p>There is no suspense, no mystery, indeed no conflict whatsoever. One wonders if Joy, seeing that her husband is brain-damaged, decides to move on for her own sanity.</p>

The wife would be back within a few months wanting to live on hubby's paycheck beginning him for forgiveness. Sluts like that are a dime a dozen and condoms cost more. Those are the kinds of girls you fuck not marry. Where was the justice dealt to the exwife? Of course one might ask where did the exwife get the money to pay for the divorce, was she working on her back and decided to stay with a client? Now Lisa would be a great girl to move in with, but marriage should be a possible long term consideration.

The cheating wife angle just seemed tacked on. Pare it down next time.

I like believable stories. Only Jerry Springer would believe that story.

Maybe you'll get another 50.

I think we can all agree there is a small unfinished buisness hanging in this story -the size of a huge elephant...How about an appropriate closure on the first terrible ex-witch from the west wife?

You certainly show not only talent in writing but thoughtfulness in - say, 'plotting your plots' (as of yet no visible evidence for any brain damage...:-)).<P>

In light of the above, I want to highlight the fact that if you choose to emphasize a theme as you have in this story with the extreme humiliation by the ex-wife, it should play some meaningful role, if not in the middle of the story than at least as part of the end (where the resolution of the middle of the story complications takes place). <P>

In your story the theme of shame/humiliation (and being wronged) plays a central role. The fact that the theme is presented does not mean automatically that every author has to dwell on it. But in your story you chose to put a lot of emphasize on it. It is not presented in a summarized way (the way the husband does it for his colleagues at work). You did a good job at it and it left a strong emotional impact. Now, dropping it and switching norms at the end (even: ‘best revenge is life well lived’) does not work as long as there is no indication that ex wife has any knowledge of her ex newly found happiness, but even more – as long as she does not taste some ‘sour grapes’ in her post marital life. I realize of course that ‘life’ does not always (or mostly) work that way, but you write fiction with its own built in expectations for internal coherency etc. which you never find in life… <P>

In summary: Switching norms does not work because of the readers’ unmet expectations (in the process of the reading) for some follow up to the loaded first part of the story. <P>

It also does not work as it should, once the story as a whole is summed up in the reader's mind, because of its lack of coherency with regard to the cut off from the ex wife stunt from the first part. <P>

I have not gone into this kind of critique for the purpose of giving you hard time… It's only because I clearly see your talent (and wish to see your writing thrive). Hopefully my comment might be instrumental.

Lots of potential, too little delivery. You have the potential to be great but this story didn't make it.

Didn't he realize that he could become enraged and chop the two of them to peices and then claim tempo insanitary...Not too swuft of his feet either...like the writer...ho hum

Show and Tell

I like the Storyline but it would be Nice to Follow-Up and See how all Goes Maybe Love Flurishes but Maybe they Realise

it was just Lust and are still Friends w/benefits. and Other Women are in the Mix and Word gets back to the EX that a Great Guy and Lover is being Had as often as Possible from talking to Ladies at a Club

Only to Find out its Her Ex ?

This was like an old double feature movie. Two different plots with no real connection. One story (not completed) was the wife (bitch) - She and her lover just disappear. No consequences, no nothing, just gone. The second story (incomplete) didn't belong in 'loving wives.' It should have been in 'romance' or maybe 'first time.' Either way, they think they may be in love, That's it?

But I like the idea of this story. but like others have said a sequel really does need to be written at some point.

Anyway interesting story and well writen.

I agree with the other comments the writing was good but the story had no flow it was like reading the first and third chapter of four..As for the X good riddance to bad trash!! At least it was not after twenty or thirty years and Kids that He found out what an evil Slut She was..As for Kevin He would have ate my whole Bag of clubs..I can understand the shell shock he was in .. What a "nightmare"! but it was left unresolved..No "closure"..No "revenge"..No "consequences"..Yes there was the divorce but that was inevitable...As for Lisa ,it looks like He found someone that could be a loving Wife for him...It needed another chapter to show how their relationship grew i e Wedding and Children..And the Ex running into them and seeing how great His life had turned out...While She was being pimped out by Kevin...Now that would be the ultimate ending and one she deserved .

I agree with the other comments the writing was good but the story had no flow it was like reading the first and third chapter of four..As for the X good riddance to bad trash!! At least it was not after twenty or thirty years and Kids that He found out what an evil Slut She was..As for Kevin He would have ate my whole Bag of clubs..I can understand the shell shock he was in .. What a "nightmare"! but it was left unresolved..No "closure"..No "revenge"..No "consequences"..Yes there was the divorce but that was inevitable...As for Lisa ,it looks like He found someone that could be a loving Wife for him...It needed another chapter to show how their relationship grew i e Wedding and Children..And the Ex running into them and seeing how great His life had turned out...While She was being pimped out by Kevin...Now that would be the ultimate ending and one she deserved .

Are you as stupid and spineless as your characters?

the axe. The first wife was a self centered, egotistical little slut. Hell I managed a produce department in a large grocery store when I was 18 many long years ago. Folks in most cases that is a step down. The love affair with Lisa is great and if you cant response to it you have no sense of lust or love.

certainly couldn't describe you any better. You are obviously the most ignorant person I've ever met when it comes to basic human psychology. For you to think, for even a second, let alone enough time to post this ridiculous story that people behave this way is just so silly, you seriously must have a major learning disorder.. or you're a teenager, or the more likely scenario, you a middle aged sad fuck of a person who has had no real life experience and certainly no love or sex life. Why do you write about something you obviously know nothing about?

The boredom prompted the first cheating, apparently, and maybe he's more tolerant. And he's able to support her as she wants too?

is too stupid to do anything as Long as Joy is his;)

but she is still a teenager in her Mind and until

or unless she grows up she will always have 1 foot out the Door.

Kevin will be left behind soon enough, and Chris is free of Joy. Lousy thing happened, but good from bad

I hope you finish this story one day??

What was the object of this tale? To quickly put readers to sleep. It worked.

Oh, one star.

Feels like there's a story in there somewhere. Is there a missing page 2? I got to the end and couldn't believe it was over. Hmmm...if your sex is like your writing that might explain a lot.

much much more needs to be said!

Brain damage

When Chris walked in on Joy and Kevin having sex he made one big mistake. He allowed Chris to walk out alive. No matter what happened after that he was a no balls cuckold pussy. I hate cheating wives and faggot husbands.

FUCK

The wife needs to know what she gave up... And the wife's lover needs to be punished.... Story was too Quick & ended too soon... It seems unfinished

If you really think about it, the story is finished. She cheated wholesale and later decided to leave him. They divorced and he moved on and even found happiness and love in life again. Living well is the best revenge. If he kills her mentally slow lover, he goes to jail for what? For a worthless whore? I don't think so. Likely eventually she will also cheat on her new lover. It's not the size of the cock, but the wickeness of the cheating what makes affairs so sexually rewarding. She cheated on her husband multiple times, so he's better getting rid of her. What will happen to her? Who cares he's busy living his life, why wasting time and energy caring about a cheating whore.

in this case it is alright because if this idiot is an author i'm bill gates and i'm not bill gates.

when they find something without looking, TK U MLJ LV NV

Someone had it right- don't insult the authors. They at least tried to do something most of us cannot. But when they write these stories, people are BOUND to comment.

In this case, the guy was due some revenge and should have gotten it. But that's not the way the author wrote the story. But from MY view, he should have kicked the bitches ass and it's fun to write that in the comments section - the only place I can practice MY non-existant writing skills. Sorry.

A college is an institution of higher learning. A collage is a collection of pictures with a common theme.

He didn't even seem to care his ex-wife humiliated him. Not that he had to bury her, but a little revenge would have seemed in order.

But you never know about those things heh -

True love grows in weird places -

The wife a true class A bitch though - " maybe I ought to show you??" it did work but sheeeiit

why is there a fool such as I. TK U MLJ LV NV

Joy got a guy who fucked married women. Kevin got a woman who would easily break her vows. Chris got rid of them both and found a good woman for himself. He won, why bother about the slut wife?

Mitch

Joy and Kevin will be cheating on each other soon.

Lisa and Chris are decent moral people that fit well together and both know the pain of being cheated on.

Living well and loving well, may not be revenge but the hurt goes away.

Didn't seem to be a consistent point to this story. Thanks.

No emotion, no real conflict, like pablum, blah! Gave it 3*, the best I could do.

Stoning should be legal.

The normal rerun at first. The stupid cunt and another guy with a bigger dick . What tripe. For some reason, I continued reading. The rest of the story brought you four stars. Without the bigger dick bullshit I might have given you five stars.

Like crucifying the bitch and her grocery store boyfriend.

While I can see how a guy could be blinded by sex and marry a whore instead of a wife,the first part of this story read to much like the 99 cents readers we jerked off to as teenagers. BUT,the story improved mightily as two fragile souls found each other. Nothing like a happy ending!

there is always something out there for everyone. TK U MLJ LV NV

no emotion at all. 1*

Finding the ex and seeing her realize what she did.

absurd cuck shit.

Except point needs biy og sharpening

If you don't think so, the problem is you, the reader, lack in imagination. Don't criticize the author. Each author has their own style. If they don't, they're not writers; they are plagiarists. Good job. Not 5-star worthy; but I hope you will accept my 4-star rating.

What a wimp and cuckold story! More crap wasnt possible!!!

Should have given Kev a forehand to the mouth with that titanium racquet, then a backhand to the bitch's face. Then an overhead smash to Kevin's head, and a chop volley to Joy's teeth. That should do it for the racquet, and the marriage.

This author's actually used his condition as his pen name. Hideous story by a person who clearly needs to be hospitalized for...well, brain damage

1*

It felt like the rest of the story got dropped. Needs more.

I don't know if I'm getting saturated with these stories on Literotica or if the quality is really going down, but this story was so trite, predictable and boring that I was only pleased that it was so short. 2* for effort, but the author should read his/her stuff as if it were by someone else and react to it that way before submitting it. I can't believe other people rated it so highly. Maybe they're newcomers to the site.

Thank Kevin for saying where he works. It makes it easy to catch him coming out with a bullet to the head. "I'm off to the sporting goods store to get a new scope for my rifle. Safest thing you could do Kevin is to change jobs or just leave town. That goes for the whore as well". Then walk out.

A patently predictable half-story.

I believe that breaking up is difficult, and infidelity umforgivsble, but if she doesn't love you, move on , son.

But the way she broke the relationship, as you it, screams for retribution. No best revenge is a life well lived... But true revenge.

Did you fall asleep at the keyboard? Suffer a stroke? Heart attack? Is there an ending at all? Honestly, you're living up to your name with this one.

Again. The worst thing about this story is that Kevin lived.

Hope he has better luck with the next relationship.

Is there to be a part 2? Let's hear how his ex wife realises her new man is no more than a piece of meat. More cheating and catching std. Etc. Happy marriage and kids for the good guys - ex sees them and realises what a monster she has been. As story unfinished only 3 stars

Come on this story was just getting juicy. Where’s the revenge come on this can’t be it . If this was it then this story wasn’t even worth writing. This is nearly like the them pain in the ass cuckold stories. Come on get it together this has to be one of the worst stories you have written. There is absolutely nothing this should have been shoved in the romance section for what the story is worth. It just saddens me that you really put no effort into this story. It feels like a child of 6 wrote this come on get it together stop living up to your username your better than this either pull it or write part 2 please .

Feels strange that the humiliation was so traumatic for no reason, and then the narrative just drifts off in another direction. Ends up almost feeling like the story initially had bigger plans but then they were dialed down and phoned in.

meh, it fizzled.

The breathy, whiskey voice whispers "Is That All There Is?"

Wow this really lacking. Your divorced then right after you take up with someone from your job. Then after a few dates and 1 night of sex you proclaim your undying love??? Thank god this is fiction.

3. This almost feels like a parody of a Loving Wife story. Wife leaves husband at the drop of the hate for a hunky "himbo" with a massive cock, divorces him with no problem, and he almost immediately falls into bed with an even hotter woman. Guy just had to be an ex-Army Seal Delta Ranger with secret government contract work to spirit away himbo and the ex.

Sucks

Shallow, facile, totally unrealistic, no hint as to the motivation of any of the characters, and no real plot. I am no fan of stories that take 10 pages to describe the leads’ high school experiences, but a little background is still necessary. This piece is a waste of time as it stands. 0 stars.

Seriously! Who would stand there for the entire time your wife is fucking her new man? Just stand there and watch while she tells you that shit. I'm sure it wasn't over and done with in 30 seconds. So he stood passively for what....5, 10 minutes and did nothing? NOPE.

No plot, no characterization, no story, just a waste of time.

Zero story here. No motivation, no emotional connection, no real characters, no plot, just a big steaming pile of nada. A total time waster.

I think I read this one a while ago, There was a lot that felt like it was happening and did happen later. Would also have liked to have seen the ex-wife fall somehow…

The author does well portraying sex scenes, and relationship development with all their inherent risks and anxieties. I don’t know that the betrayal scene is at all believable so compressed. Might want to get some believability into the betraying wife. She really had numerous affairs and never loved him? No clue?

What a fucking wimpy cuck! The story after his well earned humiliation was just him fantasizing, right? When you rewrite this trash, at least make him half a man.

Shame the brain damage didn’t leave you as a vegetable so you ended up sharing this shart of a story

I am a firm believer in the concept of "You don't hit a woman"

Every now and then i read a story or see or hear of something happening where i wonder if that should be changed to "you don't hit a lady.

Kevin is a member of the male sex, we see a pussy, the cock gets hard, blood leaves the brain and most don't stop to ask themself is this someones wife/girlfriend.

The beginning of this story Kevin deserves a beating, But Joy deserved a bigger one for her actions in the way she told/showed Chris she wanted a divorce, even going to the trouble of shoveling excess cum into her mouth with her fingers.

Only good thing about that was he got out of the marriage easy after that.

Chris getting into a relationship seemed rushed, It felt like the author was rushed for time, almost like he thought "shit I have to get to work, I better finish this story.

Three dates and he is in love, ready to marry it seemed.

It could have been made a bit more believable with only a line or two.

you would expect him to be a bit wary of relationships after what he went through with his EX.

After the night they spent together the author could have put an epilogue, saying they dated for a few months then professed their love for each other, then maybe state they went on to have a happy relationship/marriage.

Which would have still kept it short if that is the way the author wished but also gave an ending of sort. 3*