Damn, you are good !!! Don't change a thing! As a man, I fell completely in love with her and was as enthralled with her as he was. Great erotic writing!
I love getting comments on my stories. I like honest CONSTRUCTIVE critiques: what SPECIFICALLY you liked and disliked. I'm seeking ways to improve because even I am not satisfied with my own work. Simply saying that you didn't like it is not helpful, at all. I have just su...