All Comments on 'Silla's Storm'

In the beginning of your story, the plot is loose, unorganized and patchy. You need to learn to develop this part of the story in a coherent fashion so that your skillful erotic writing can become a more vibrant centerpiece. As is, it seems like you were rushing to get to the "good part," which cheapens the whole thing.

and heart! I was hooked within twenty words and loved it at the end. Wow! Thank you.

I enjoyed this story but was momentarily confused at the sudden break between Jack discovering her and the storm and later. I would suggest putting some sort of a marker when there is a significant scene or time break in your stories ******** or somesuch. Thanks for your contributions! [Gualterio]

This appears as the first sub in chrono order. Wow. Human sex first order. This had pump. Few english issues and well crafted. Even the final scene is real rather than dream psycho. I Hate the trivialisation of RAPE. But this Brill. Ex studen ed.