All Comments on 'Silver Moon: A Change Ch. 03'

This is a sad story.

Loved the latest chapter. I like how you gave this story real depth which is hard to do sometimes, especially in the early stages of a story. Can't wait for the next update 5* :-)

I like the different take on the wolf hierarchy with the role of the submissive. The pace and the characters are good. I love the over all plot. There are some minor errors but it doesn't take away from the story for me. Well done, looking forward to the next chapter to see how Dan heals and handles his new pack.

you've got me interested in the tale now.....don't stop...:)

I wish the story was complete so I could read it in its entirety. Looking forward to the next installment.

I can't wait to read more!!!!

Just great. Keep going!

Love it. Great story.

I like the way it's different & not just a carbon copy of every other were story.

Did feel a bit like this chapter ended prematurely. Loving it though.

This is a wonderful world you have created. I can't wait to see what happens next, it's difficult to guess since you are keeping away from most stereotypes.

Thanks

Just for those that care I am only waiting on someone to review chapter 4 before it gets posted. I will be submitted tomorrow hopefully which means that it should be up in three or four day. I am already working on chapter five and there night actually be a bit of fun...

Thanks for all the great reviews and comments. I really do appreciate them. It helps me be a better writer. Don't suggest that I actually write since this is something I do for fun and not work. Hugz all and any young cute women who want to live in sin with an old fart drop me a message...

Your story came on my radar and I was about to read then....

You prefaced the chapter with the heros are not adonis types, yet you appealled to any 'cute young' things who may want to rock your world. Boo! Hiss! ;)

You ignore us damn more than cute gals of your own demographic. Now I haveta go an' slam some pots around and pout while I consider reading your story.

Not really sure where you got the cute young things. I have tried to make Dan not to be tall handsome and suave. The females, well Mari is small slender and not plush. Dan hasn't tried to take anyone to bed as of yet and at most he looked at Mari to check her out and make sure she was healthy.

Not sure why you are calling boo and would like to really understand why you were saying that so I can address your comment.

As far as you more than cute girls what I am trying to do is address those of us who are average. If you are more than average good for you and I wish the best for you and hope you find a man/woman that is right for you.

To many of the stories on this sight are about or with totally hot chicks/guys and most of us are mid stream. I do hope that you can see past that and enjoy the story.

Not in the story, hunni, in your COMMENT with the 'cute young' women. Your comment caught my eye first, then I saw the regular guy intro..... I was trying to be humoursly smartass about it, but it so difficult to convey that in a comment box. Sigh. My epic fail for the night.....

On the bright side...your new and improved comment ensures I will read your story. Lit needs more real people stories for us real people. There's more than plenty fantastical fantasies out there. ;)

Sorry, was really trying to figure out how I was bringing in hot young chicks when I was trying to avoid that description. Quite used to epic fails myself...

Well I hope you do read it and enjoy it. If it bothers you I do want some sort of feedback from you and all my other readers. I think I am doing a good job and the most recent chapter and the one I just submitted have been reviewed by Somaluna and I really appreciate her feedback.

I am going to and will admit that Dan is sort of larger than life but he is also a damaged person trying to find his place in the world. Loosing his mate and pups as well as the sort of black or white way he views the world.

I am really trying to avoid the stereotypical lycan thing on this site. He isn't going to fall for his new mate immediately though there is going to be someone that falls for someone else... I really do hop that you like the story and look forward to your feedback.

Now I have to go rush my urchins through the morning routine because I had to read this chapter and am now late prying them out of bed.

Yes, Dan has a bit of larger than life to him, but he IS Alpha so that is necessary. You portray his emotional wound very well. I like that he is stepping up to do what must be done yet you are making this all a journey for him. Good balance. I like that the pack is very unsure what this new Alpha will bring.

Looking forward to more. Each chapter makes me more glad I found this.

Not my fault you have a life... (grin) All my kids are out of the house so all I have to worry about in the morning is feeding one dog and a cat. :) Glad you are liking it and for everyone's information chapter four has been submitted and waiting for chapter 5 to be proof read. There is an actual sex scene in chapter 5 (gasp) and I think I did a decent job on it. Am also working on chapter 6 right now as well. I am trying to get several chapters ahead in case the world hits the fan again this year.

I just want to wrap my arms around Dan and let him grieve his family. I love how the little girl brings out his softer side. I'm looking forward to seeing how Mari helps Dan with his pain & broken heart. Wonderful!!!! 5 stars just isn't enough.

I need to work on sort of tidying up the relationship between Dan and Mari and some of the wording. Some of the names need work as well but again all of this is going to wait till I am done with the book.

Yes there is going to be a second and who knows maybe a third. As a hint the second will be after he finds his new mate as well as starts dealing with the government of the new country he lives in... Some of his alpha's are going to have a few issues and some outside his territory are going to have issues as well.

Well crap I think I gave enough away. I won't mention his taking over the world... Nah, not really happening. Had to joke about it though. I can't help but imagine Dan with a couple dozen packs behind him getting annoyed with a different country though. Oh myy...

It almost seems like this is an alternate universe setup here. Mari is Mary and so forth. I wonder if Dan will ever meet his alternate self...which brings in the whole concept of what would happen if they got into a fight and one Dan would die while the other lived. Would that destroy a piece of the space time continuim? Would the other Dan grow more powerful with less alternate Dans to spread the energy with? Or maybe he finds out that it is his evil alternate that he has to fight in this universe and it is going to be an epic battle with Dan chaising his own tail since the other dan can fight just as wel as he can!

Or I could be wrong and the author is just shaking his head in frsutration at my comment before he deletes it because it is embarressing to have me write all this! :-)

Hello! Still loving your story

Sincerely, Payenbrant

Not only is the story getting better but it seems your writing itself is getting more fluid and there are fewer awkward sentences. Great job.