All Comments on 'Sindara Ch. 04'

This is feeling like a great story

You built some impressive characters in this story. Choosing to place them on a planet that they were at war with in the recent past was a very smart way to create tension in everyone they come across. Being one of the few humans on a planet would make you stick out just slightly. It seems that almost every story I have read that has a desert also manages to have some type of worm creatures living under the sand which makes me wonder what might be found if you dug down far enough in some of our own deserts. Interesting to hypothesize over possibilities whether real or imagined, like the Sasquatch or any of the other beings that have had claims made by witnesses.

This last one is definitely the most interesting one. I hope you keep in writing this story.

this is my kind of story

You need an editor. When did you say the bandit girl was hanging upside down? You just jumped to her "still hanging upside down" and that's just one of many examples.