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Click hereIn the midst of our shared ecstasy, our bodies seemed to meld into one, the boundaries between us dissolving as pleasure consumed us both. And then, as if in perfect harmony, our orgasms hit us simultaneously, waves of pleasure crashing over us in a crescendo that left us breathless and trembling. We held each other tightly, our bodies still trembling from the intensity of our climax. As our heartbeats gradually slowed, we remained locked in a passionate embrace, our foreheads pressed together, our breaths intermingling. Words felt unnecessary in the wake of such an experience--our connection spoke volumes on its own.
In that moment, as we basked in the afterglow of our shared pleasure, I felt a profound sense of closeness with Umaiyal. We had explored the depths of our desires together, transcending barriers and embracing vulnerability in the process. Our journey was far from over, but for now, as we remained tangled together, I knew that this was a memory I would cherish--a memory of mutual discovery, shared pleasure, and the unbreakable bond between us.
- COMMENTS
Anonymous8 months agoAs if Shakespeare didn't make up words, good grief. I'm sorry for the author having to suffer such abuse. SirDigbyChickenCaesar makes some valid points on the structure, but this is still loads better than most of the stories here. There's a maturity and mysticism to your writing that stands out, especially given how banal most incest plots are. Whatever you do, don't give up!
cageysea97258 months agoInsinuation implies both pejorative and indirect manner. I was neither about neither your background or your language. English is the most spoken as a second language in the world, and whatever language 2 of your submissions was written in is probably, my lack of experience with it necessitates my assumption, middle eastern, which few people speak those as second languages. I was forthright when I stated I think you're educated.
The matter is, at its root, directly attributable to the butt hurt you're experiencing right now.
It is a simple matter of facts, which I already quoted. 4 followers after 4 submissions says only that people don't want to read more from you. Even at 4 stars average for your submission is not a good rating. You haven't achieved that.
Seriously, my best and the most constructive criticism anyone can give you is that you should stop trying to be a writer. You're not good at it.
Obviously, almost everyone who has read what you're submitted has judged it, and decided to dismiss it.
You really shouldn't fault someone for giving you obviously good advice.
lizzindarcy8 months agoAuthorI appreciate your attempt at feedback cageysea9725, although I must say your comments come across as unnecessarily dismissive and judgmental. Writing is a personal endeavor, and while not everyone may enjoy my style, resorting to insinuations about my background or language is neither helpful nor respectful. It's disappointing to see such attitudes in a supposedly educated discourse. Let's aim for a more constructive conversation where we can discuss literary preferences without resorting to thinly veiled insults.
cageysea97258 months ago@SirDigbyChickenCaesar:
I make plenty of positive comments, but the frequency of an actual writer on this site is so rare, you've either missed them or your confirmation bias has stilted your judgement. Even you admit those with an adequate grasp of English are rare, and that would be both the write in English and read in English.
Considering this typist has garnered 1 person for each submission, and an average of under even 4 stars, even you should be able to understand that my comments on this story, like all my comments, are rooted in accurate. Am I nice about it? No, but these people are not my children, they are not my students, they do not pay me to help them (most, including this one, are beyond assistance), so why do the idiotic masses believe I have a responsibility to be nurturing? I'd rather weed out the bad ones so it's not so difficult to find something worth reading?
You contribute to the poor quality which runs so rampant on this site by coddling the untalented, illiterate masses who give themselves more credit than they deserve.
cageysea97258 months agoI skimmed through this story. The language is stilted and awkward. I would say to stick with your native language, but the ratings for those are no better than for the English ones.
Writing entertaining, fictional literature isn't something everyone can do. It doesn't look like you're one of the people who can.
I think you're educated, so you should be able to read between the lines in what I'm saying.
