All Comments on 'Sinking the Navy'

This one was hilarious after a slow start. There is nothing really new here, but the lie chain by the wife was classic. This was a 4.5 rounded up to a 5 because I felt that at least a little background other than empty nest would have been helpful to understand why the wife reverted to her high school persona.

That was a good one!

So no confrontation with the wife? Just going to skip that part?

"I called an Uber" . Another lie. Cool as cucumber.

After that no confrontation with her.

When did she realize confirmatively that hubbi knows? what was her reaction? or she knew that he knew but playing game "I would not admit. prove whatever you want to. do whatever you can. I have lot of back up.?"

Was she still an entitled bitch (who paid $350 for lap top repair) all the 20 years. Did she put up with the nerd only as a keeper and enjoyed her queen status with BMW owners for 20 years? Or the bitch status reappeared after being empty nester.

if she did not care for huubie because she can have a queue of suiters then why did she wait for 20 years? or she did not care and only hubbi was care less.

The story has lot of potential untapped.

Started well, but ended flat. At least you actually ended it unlike some authors around here. Was a great buildup and then ended in two paragraphs. Seems a little rushed. I’m assuming you just got bored with it.

Where’s the how did u call Uber here’s both your phones? How did the kids take mom cheating? You left a lot out. It was a good start.

Good story but the lack of a confrontation with the lying cheating slut wife leaves it at 4*. She also leaves the marriage with no ill effects.

I agree with most other comments. It started well but no confrontation let it down. Why all the things like burner phones and video of you don't confront he?

I gave 4 but should have been a 5.

It was an OUTSTANDING start--you do a great job of setting up the main character's personality, including the limits on the behavior that he's willing to accept. He's unique--a geek with a sense of self and a great deal of confidence, and he really connects with the reader (or at least this reader!). The love at McDonald's is a bit quick, but works, as does the quick survey of their life together. REALLY liked the scene where he confronts her over her "sickness"--you don't just take down her explanation, but also model an outstanding way of dealing with a lying spouse. All are very good parts that showcase a lot of talent!

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I have to agree with other commentators who point out that, after that point, it falls a little flat. A second confrontation with the wife would have been good--it would have given him an option of mirroring back her sense of entitlement, her fundamental lack of morality, etc. Most of all, it would have given a satisfying conclusion that mirrored the really outstanding opening.

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As it stands, the ending is good, if a little rushed, and feels pretty by-the-book, which would be fine if the opening wasn't so damned good! In terms of score, the character of Stokey, in and of himself, gets you a five. He's just really nicely done! Looking forward to your next story...

"Then I played the video, which showed him taking the first swing, and you stopping after only a few blows when you saw you were in no more danger. "

- Whatever happened to him kicking the guy in the balls three times after doctor manwhore was already on the ground (thanks to the multiple kidney shots)?

really good until a couple of parts were rushed and/or avoided, denying us some juicy drama. Mainly the marriage (was their any bumps in the road like infidelity, suspicion, personality flaws/traits), the confrontation with his wife, the divorce process (if anything different), their daughters' reactions, Still a good story but could have been great. If you are writing a sequel, then you can include those bits to get the story, and sympathy for the character started.

Thank you, funPerson! I do wonder: why don't men take the video, put the camera/phone away, grab the wallet and then tell the cheating lothario to "get the f* out of my house?" I guess I should write that story myself if that's what I want. Well, anyway, good story and a big thank you!

What about his three college daughters?

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What about fraternization of a married doctor to a married nurse inside the same hospital?

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What about the peer pressure/support to the four adults? No parents/siblings?

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4.6***** Hooyah, but only due to the doc got his

Flat ending

Was the wife even bothered? Poor.

Nicely done, thanks for sharing.

Entertaining read but lacked the depth I needed to give it a top score. Any story primarily driven by narrative over dialogue will struggle to draw in the reader. Agree with some others on the gaps. Daughters? Her reaction when truly busted? What happened to doctor professionally? You get it. 3.9*

Fun story to read though i wish it was longer.

Very methodical trashing of a wife and her lover. All of that was done on the run, what if he had time to be easily cruel? Too much narrative and not enough dialogue or other action,

Fun story with a bit of humor in sad situation. The god doctor got his but the beauty queen wife got away unscathed. This era of liberals and their soft on crime attitudes only breeds more crime. There should be penalties for adultery since it is addressed in the marriage vows but vows are just ignored and now days you need a prenup to protect both of you in the marriage. I really think God is getting a bit angry with us his creation, someday........................................5 stars

Fun story! A real romp.

5

Good story. She deserved much more BTB treatment though...

Very nice.

Poor ending with no real confrontation. As tends to happen on a lot of these stories, it promised fiz and went plop.

DON'T LIE AND DON'TCHEAT;YOU WILL GET CAUGHT.

I want to see his romance story

Beauty is only skin deep. Lying and cheating soon comes to an end.

Not your finest hour, FP. No LW story is complete without a confrontation between wronged husband and cheating wife. We actually learned more from this about the collapse of Dr Dick's marriage than that of the MC and the old chestnut of the wife being 'way out of my league' looks more and more tired every time it's used. Why would any person be in a relationship with someone they consider to be out of their league? That makes no sense.

JR

Good story but you forgot to mention their kids in the wrap up. Did the daughters back Dad or mum in and after the divorce?

Because if the kids all back Dad mum is on a loser bigtime.

I like happy endings like this.

Fun story.

FWIW, you cannot list a home without both spouses' signatures. I know this from experience and yes, I had owned the house long before I even met my wife. I could not even change the listing price without her signature.

Too rushed to finish the story!

rushed ending clearly shouldnt be a story writer if you lack the creativity to actually finish your stories.

Seemed not fully fleshed out. Missing a lot.

Bam! Just cut the fucking story short. No confrontation. No daughter's views. No why after 20 years. Guess the moral (lesson) is " never make a pretty woman your wife".

Another rare and very good, balanced and well written realistic BTB tale. Too bad it's totally outnumbered by the endless flowing of femdom fetish cuck tales. but it's still a very good anti-cuck contribution. So, 5 stars well deserved.

Finally, a LW tale describing an husband with a realistic male brain, so much different from those coming from the endless huge cuck propaganda, describing unbelievable husbands reasoning with a female brain (pro raac of course) or acting and speaking like submissive sheeps. Full prize for this one: 5* ! Keep going.

3.5* rounded down, because it really didn't cover anything happening to the ex-Hoecomming Queen...

Good story, should never fuck around when your husband is a nerd. Liked the BTB on Ricky. Too bad no BTB for Brenda.

The beginning was great. Unfortunately you skipped over all the best bits in the ending.

By *far* the most entertaining part of a loving wife story isn't the husband playing amateur PI.

It's when he confronts the cheating wife, exposes her affair, and drives a stake through their dying marriage. Those scenes are an excellent opportunity for drama, with the wife begging for forgiveness and another chance, or her being arrogant and unrepentant if she's monkeybranching to a new guy.

Then for a BtB, the most important part of the story are the consequences.

What was the fallout with the kids?

Was Brenda upset about being dumped for cheating? Narcissists like her usually take rejection extremely badly.

Then you glossed over the husband's recovery from the divorce, and age taking its inevitable toll on a beautiful woman.

Well done. Well paced Entertaining story

Anticlimactic

Correct me if I a wrong but I seem to think that mobile phones were in existence before laptop computers, I know I possessed a mobile long before a laptop.

".... the loan on his stolen 7-series, which he had to pay off, because it somehow came out that his car was left unlocked with the key in it ...."

A gaping hole is left in the plot by omitting how this information 'somehow came out', since the car was apparently not recovered (with or without keys), nor was it revealed by whom the car was initially (and criminally) 'borrowed'.

"Somehow came out" is a cheap literary excuse for leaving out supporting details, except in plot scenarios where obvious and plausible reasons are already present which allow the reader to quickly presume the "somehow" part. Those are lacking here. Not important, that?

@tajfa and others - why would a confrontation with her be beneficial for HIM??? She'd either lie to him, or tell him hurtful things that are true (unlikely), or use idiotic justifications to hurt him and whitewash and excuse her shit behavior. There's LITERALLY zero win and 100% waste for him to confront her. It's not like it would make the selfish bitch feel bad or anything. I know those things are common in LW stories, but unless the spouse is actually a decent person who will feel regret, they are literally of zero benefit to MC.

Excellent. And am pleased you did not follow the formulaic demands of your critics.

I enjoyed the build up but the ending was flat, sorry.

Flawed but enjoyable, though the ending was rather abrupt and weak. I find myself having a lot of questions regarding the wife, because this couldn't have been her first affair. It really could have benefitted from being beefed up a bit.

Aside from all the other comments, what the heck does the title even refer to? I've seen some weird titles, but most of them eventually make sense. This one didn't.

3 stars for an average BTB story.

- there was very little suspense or drama

- the dialog was a bit flat

- the plot was way too easy to figure out

BUT for the most part I liked the story, and your writing style, so please keep writing.

Lack of ANY confrontation or conversation between Stokey and Bren cost a big ⭐️. Readers crave the catharsis authors!

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Otherwise a well told tale.

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4 ****

These endings have become so flat like there is no climax nor dialog to the confrontation of his own divorce and what about his girls that are in college? Surely they would have been informed, your endings need more meat to them at the end.

Juvenile cliche filled waste of time. Not a single Lin red that couldn’t have been cut and pasted from a thousand others. 1*

I agree that a confrontation was needed. Some wondered about the 20 years of marriage. I think that while they were raising the kids she was faithful, it wasn't until empty-nest syndrome set in that she went off the rails.

Just a well written simple story. Fun as most of your stories and when I want that I always read your offerings. Keep up the good vibes…..

Good story. But I would have loved to hear his conversations with his daughters regarding their mom.

Nice and fun read. Good job. Thanks for the entertainment.

Ed

Inadequate without the whore wife's explanation. You didn't even try by relating the text messages from her burner phone. Also sociopathic that the wife could be that committed and involved with another man and the husband had No clue? You made it obvious the wife is a stupid witless liar, and a clumsy cheater. And I thought they had children. No interaction with their children to notify and explain their mother's whoring and the divorce? And the asshole she was fucking was just some horn dog asshole, so what kind of shallow selfish unethical immoral woman wants to be in a romance with the local hospital pussy hound? And like the whole hospital staff didn't know?

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He got what he married, so he deserved what he got. You did indicate that as she entered her cheese phase her pussy received brief but more attention than her head or her heart. It would have been satisfying to hear some real regret and remorse from the entitled bitch, but you left that out too. Too bad.

Good story enjoyed it!

Get build up man but it ended too quick, and there was no confrontation imo. But wth do I really know lol.

5 stars though.

Very underwhelming finale. Looks like you just wanted to wrap it up at this point. And twenty years is far too long without any indication of being a cheating slut. Since they met in college, you can just swap the "empty nest" slut ray cliche for the "7y itch" slut ray cliche and you instantly get a bit more realism.

Quickly becoming 1 of my favorite writers. 5 stars DMW aka Sumnut96

Nice story.

But the ending was kinda sterile.

But thank you for sharing @funperson969.

Hope to see you in Romance. Love to hear the rest of the story. 5 stars for this part.

So how exactly did the lawyer explain the video of them fucking in your bed? Seems like that would make you a very real suspect for the stolen car.

Silly story.

Started well. Then it got strangled to death by a tourniquet of cliches.

ANNNNND the Martian Slut Ray (TM) strikes again.

Great story right up to the finish. The main bitch, Brenda, sort of disappeared when he got home. He didn’t show her the video, or confront her for all her,cheating and lies. A really good BTB needs confrontation before the burn.

Not a fun story…

The best thing in the cheated on catch and wind up good but the best revenge is for them to jump in bed with each other on top of all other revenge. Big hospitals across the country are breeding grounds for a massive amount of hook ups and cheating. When we were 20 decades ago my friend worked as a helper in repairs. At 6’ 250 of muscle with blue eyes and dark hair never had trouble getting girls in bed. He was fucking dozens of hospital workers for years and majority married. The woman talk and word spread. One in administration was married with adult kids our age .. we knew them but not in same group . He was fucking her so often at least once a week. One time they got walked in on an orderly in the empty room. She was slowly riding his dick up her ass as he licked her nipple and rubbing her clit. Both in shock they guy laughed and stayed telling them continue don’t stop for me I was just checking so I can bring some slut white bitch to fuck . They stopped as he shot up her ass. The guy then said don’t get dressed help me keep my mouth shut get that used white ass on your knees and suck this black dick or I tell everyone in the hospital looking at her I’d tag saying her name. My friend said to her it’s up to you I don’t care if people know about me but you have a lot to lose. He said I’ll stay with you and said to the guy just once if she agrees he nodded and she got on her knees as he said I love older married white bitches looking into my smiling black face as I fuck there mouth. This went five minutes tops and only because he kept pulling out slapping her face , laying across her face and having her lick and suck his balls . He then we for about a minute of holding her head in place as he called her names fucking her mouth deep and fast . He was saying there you go drink up slut , kiss your hubby hello for me tonight. He then put it away said our secret, thank you and left . She was teary getting dressed. He held her and said go to bathroom wash your face and tell the girls in your office you got sick and washed your face is reason for no makeup. One awkward time me and him bumped into her and her daughter as we talked the daughter asked how she knew them so my friend said said we see each other almost every day at work . He would friendly taunt her as he fucked her saying maybe he should date her daughter to see if her pussy and ass love his cock as much as her mother. One of many true memories of random hook ups. He always said in more recent years how do they do it now with cameras in every phone

doesnt make sense to me. the lack of editing didnt help. a lot of stuff he did didnt even get used. idk weird

Good story till it got near the end, Brenda got off way too easy no mention of the kids, it all went downhill after he met the Man whores wife for, me sorry but I gave it 4 stars

Just too quick.

To much ruch from the middle to the end.

Good story, straight to the point and well written. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Would have liked to hear the reaction from their kids and parents about what she had done, further humiliating her and making her understand what she had lost.

Only thing stopping a 5 is .. what happened with the kids? They would have been abit broken up about their folks davorcieing im sure.. that said it was still an enjoyable yarn, so plz keep um coming if u got anymore in yea.. if not.. then thanks 4 what yea did and good luck 2 yea 😉🙋😁👍👍👍💯💯🤷👌🍕🍕🍺🍺

Too bad the beautiful bitch Brenda came out good. Guessing it was not her first time

And his daughters’ response to the split?

very good. no huge physical or sex scenes, just believable stuff and brain power.

No end of stories on here of girls outside of the MC's social circle who end up being mere nurses. Really? Maybe this is a 1950s thing when nursing was for a brief period something that children of the middle classes might have done because there were few other options, and the authors are just bitter old men, but really how low on the social ladder do you have to be to be below a nurse. Definitely not someone in IT that owns their own company. Stinks of chip on shoulder if you ask me. But then at least she wasn't a lawyer or PA to one, the other favorite go to professions for authors of cheating wife stories.

Anyway, she had a laptop as a student but not a mobile phone so that places her sometime around 1992-2000. Which makes the idea that she was this 'social queen', so very implausible.

Good story which felt realistic to me. The only downer was Brenda seemed to get off lightly for her part in destroying two marriages. But life is like that sometimes. BardnotBard

Well Done! 5*.

I liked that story, well done!

Good story. I feel like we could have used more of the fallout and reactions.

Damn if he found out earlier it could have been just a brain fart on her part.