All Comments on 'Sister Forgot Her Key'

Keep writing - more practice

Your take on a popular theme is certainly enhanced with the 'daddy addition. Good idea.

There are a few small errors, nine of which detract from your version. A couple of comments, just so you know AND for your upcoming stories.

Latisse is an ocular condition with pressure within the eye. Lattice, most likely, is the often open-pattern wood or plastic 'fence' often used for climbing plants or partial shade. Chalk this one up as a typo.

"she seen he was asleep" I think you were looking for 'saw,' past tense of see.

Looking forward to the next night the 'other girl' decides she won't visit.

Great start Intel you had the dad come in please don't add the but I'm sure you will

Give sexy Mac a dusting of chest hair for that masculine chest! This is a good read -- keep it going!

Writing also means proofreading looking for errors. In reading this, it's obvious that you didn't.

Yes definitely continue this story please

I can already see her fucking her dad as well, and that's where it's going to loose me.

The dad bit was unnecessary

My 2 cents

Not a bad start. I think you need to leave the Dad out and continue to let the brother and sister find their way. Also, develop them more so the story will be more interesting. The sex will come when you need it. Thanks for your time and imagination.

It's awful when the chance to bust a cherry is ruined because of a stupid hairbrush. Major misstep here.

Thank you to all who has taken the time to read this and thank you for your comments. P2 will be more character building and due to popular demand I will definitely leave the dad out of it. Sorry for the ruined ending, I agree I went too far.

Thanks again. P2 will be out soon.

Okay great story and yeah you went to far with the dad but don't write him out just yet I suggest you have him acknowledge that he saw his daughter and have him be not interested in her that way because she is his daughter and he should scold her in some way and have that be the major catalyst as to why and how the brother and sister get together

you were on a five star until dad beat off for her. Many incest fans are pretty much siblings ONLY.

If you intend to include a dad, you need to disclose that up front so those of us that really don’t care for it can avoid it, As an author it is Your right to write any way you want to. My issues with a horrible father are not your fault nor your responsibility. Just please let me know up front if you include one . Thanks.

oh, one more thing. If people are too scared , of what I have no idea, to use their name , don’t worry too much about what they say. Those that choose to live in the shadows with countless other anonymous creatures,cannot expect to be taken seriously.

Good start ,

Can’t wait for the next chapter.

Good plot executed extremely poorly. Barely adequate to jerk off to.

I've seen stuff written by ninth graders that was easier to read than this.

You seriously need an editor to clean up this mess. 😑