All Comments on 'Sister-In-Law Surveillance'

11 pages of Australia's history. The bad story about a dyke fucking her brother's cheating wife should have used only 2 pages. Was more than enough.

Sad, the sister betrayed her family.

Canada spells favourite properly! Canadians also resent being lumped in with our Southern neighbours.... Especially when tRump was around.

To much gabbing about things not story related. Text could have been much less and still a good story instead of all the filler junk.

Enjoyed the story but wasn’t over enamoured with the ending

far too long for a cuck story

hopefully the lying cunts brother finds out goes crazy and murderers any children she has in retribution

Sorry Canada, but you do tend to like the results of Cucks so you go, we will miss Trump once the meat puppets is done with all of us. Oh, and Canada, your welcome for the US saving and protecting you little bitches OVER and OVER and OVER.

One point on the story, wow what a terrible sister. He will find out. "Hey lets do 23 and Me for Christmas" or "he needs surgery, who is the father?"

I have worked in Family Law in the US for decades. Back in the day you could hide it, but now? Almost impossible. I know of one guy who found out after his wife died. He went to the cemetary and destroyed her head stone with a hammer. Replaced it with "Cheating Cum Slut - Burn in hell bitch." The cemetery owner tried to fight it but the courts said "He owns it, deal with it." He then disinherited the three kids she had with another man. Sold everything and moved with no forwarding address. All because one of the grandkids decided it would be fun to do 23 And Me.

So Rachel can no longer judge Sammi-Jo?

So Rachel believes that Sammi-Jo, if caught, will not give up Rachel as one of her lovers? How would her family react to finding out that she was cuckolding her own brother and lying to everyone to hide it?

What will she have to do in future to hide Sammi-Jo's ongoing escapades?

Was Sammi-Jo warned off of the bogan because Rachel has standards about who she's sharing with?

Wouldn't it go better, as a PI, to listen to your mother's whole story before trying to argue her out of it? She objected to every second word out of her mother's mouth and the scene seemed longer than it had to be. Will her lies be enough to satisfy her mother's concerns in the years to come. Also, given her suspicions, won't the someone eventually come to suspect their grand son's parentage?

Is Sammi-Jo still breastfeeding Zaden just to keep the milk flowing for her trainer?

betrayal of the worst kind

bah

Tis a sad fact of life that a condom does not prevent a person from getting an STD if they still do Oral. She bragged about using condoms but did the red neck feel the same way? Did they pass bodily fluids when they French kissed? Did she keep her son breast feeding just so she could make her trainer happy?

I doubt she stopped whoring around, just added Rachel to the list.

I was ok with the first page although as others mentioned a TON of extra detail that slowed the story. After page 1 I saw 11 pages, was hoping it really was just a slow build which I enjoy but I did skip to the end just to see if sammi-jo got busted. Love a good revenge / cheater getting what they deserve for story especially if it is a longer story.

But in the end, the sister was not looking out for her family (screws over the brother) and the cheater gets away with it all and unlikely to change her ways. I went back and skimmed the story and realized the whole thing would be slow and lead to an unsatisfying end. I think it could have been good. I won't rate since I didn't read it all.

I'm with anonymous who pointed out us Canadians spell in real English not that Amurikan bastardization . Disticntly different society than the YankMe's

Bored after the second page.

Rachel might be a bigger piece of shit than Sammi-jo. To keep something like that from her own brother? She's lower than pond scum. What happens when he finds out? Thier parents already suspect her. What will they think of the bitch, Rachel helping to keep it hidden? What if she contracts aids from being a sex worker and passes it on to her husband? The story was too long to get to people so despicable as the 2 flaming bags of crap shown here.

T'was dumb, down to a DNA level. Way too long for such worthless twats, sorry but it seems you are the only one impressed enough with your writing to drag this wreck for 11 pages.

Next time, if you want to drag a 3 page story out for 11 pages, make it worth our while.

Interesting moral dilemma. What does one do in reality—break up so many lives, support the lie or get outta town keeping the secret to oneself.

Thanks for the Feedback.

Thank you for reading my story and taking the time to comment. The last commenter was spot on with the observation that this was an interesting moral dilemma. The issues are certainly not black and white but many shades of grey, and it would probably have been a different outcome if Daniel had approached his sister Rachel about his concerns with his wife Sammi-Jo. But the husband is completely unaware what his wife gets up to, and that one of his kids is not his biological son, and in fact her gay cousin is the father. Would he thank his sister and parents for bringing this to his attention and shattering his life? As Rachel notes early on, probably not. Was Rachel wrong to sleep with Sammi-Jo? Definitely, but Rachel is far from perfect.

Anyway, no sympathy for the real victim of this story, the old guy who was sneaking out to watch kids' cartoons and his harridan of a wife thought he was cheating? Bet this one pleasure in his life was cut off after she found out through the private investigators.

And did anyone find the Easter Egg with regards to some of the characters' last names? Rachel, Daniel and their parents? Older sister Fiona and her husband Paul? Sammi-Jo's family? The rude old lady who thought her husband was cheating on her? Rachel's boss Ian? Rachel's co-worker Claire? Let me know in the comments.

Way too many words for me to fight through.

Surely there must be more than me that spotted early on the Easter Egg was the Cambridge University Gang Of Five??

Easter Egg

Correct and congratulations, the characters have the same surnames as spies, notably the Cambridge Five spy ring. There's Rachel, Daniel and Mr and Mrs Burgess; Sammi-Jo's family is named Maclean; older sister Fiona is married to Paul Philby; the grumpy old lady is called Mrs Blunt and Rachel's boss is called Ian Cairncross. There's also Rachel's colleague Claire Wake. In World War 2 there was an Allied spy working behind enemy lines in occupied Europe, New Zealand born Nancy Wake, who was known as 'The White Mouse',

Interesting but somewhat predictable. She should have fought for some normalcy in Zayden’s life.

One can only hope she has become infected with HIV and dies a slow and painful death! She didn't deserve less!

This was thoroughly entertaining: "Looking at Sammi-Jo's online video, one of the older ones where she and her daughters fed their earwax to Mrs. Maclean's cat, the mother and daughters clearly had recessive dry earwax." This is both over-the-top and something that I can imagine kids doing.

What happens when Daniel finds out what a slut his wife is and then finds out that his sister knew and kept it a secret, as well as having sex with the slut? That will definitely NOT end well. How will Rachel’s parents react to being lied to?

So bad. Firstly, it went on for PAGES without moving the ball an inch. But finally….the surveillance produced results. And the results were damning.

.

But what did Rachael do? NOTHING! At the very least, she should have used the leverage she had on the slut to compel her to (a) stop her extra curricular activities, and (b) to get professional help to motivate and assist her in reform.

.

But even worse….she lets the slut seduce HER!

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1 *

Glad I don’t have a sister like her. So R doesn’t want to hurt her brother snd the kids? Yea right. How does her letting S raise kids being a degenerate skank not hurt the kids? Now as far as your story telling, I think the tale was well written and fell in line with a well written piece. I just didn’t like the characters and the tag area isn’ t your strong …

Lousy story, she totally undermined her brother and if anything happens like AIDS or any other major STDs it will be because the dudes wife and his sister were exstremely selfish and sick individuals with no real care for anyone else but their getting off self-serving. Two real dorkspeds and an author who championed this storyline.

Pretty long, but very well written. Good work. I didn't care for how it ended up. I wanted her outed and busted big time. I expect that among those who read this piece I think it would probably be a fifty fifty split on the outcome. Overall a very good story. You show great talent.

Oh dear! Oh dear, oh dear!

Even LESS fun than undergoing an extraordinary long-winded route canal with dull and blunted, outdated, equipment by a doddery old dentist, using defective anaesthetics long past the sell-by date!

And as for the `Dead-Dog' ending that pissed all over the odd sucker-reader that DID manage to labour on through to this incredible tortuous and treasonous, not to mention preposterous "ending", if you could call it that well, words fail me!

Never, ever, has my "gast" been quite so flabbered!

I DID like the Burgess/Philby/Maclean referencing, on page one, very droll. Even Blunt got a mention too, but from there on it all went downhill faster than a fart escaping a colander!

A very, very good story from a skilled writer, but it all went a bit wrong at the end.

I got The Cambridge Five, looked up Wake as the name was mentioned three times, odd for a minor character but failed to find her. Looked for Tudor-Hart, Friedman and other British spies for the Soviets, especially after seeing much of the action was set in Norwood. Was that just a coincidence? Nice touch with the Emu and Kangaroo together at the zoo.

For those not looking for Easter Eggs, Melita Norwood was the longest serving British spy for the Soviets. The Kangaroo and Emu are on the Australian Coat Of Arms.

Had to look in the Urban Dictionary for "Wowser" and "Rock Spider." Do Australians always use smelled and never smelt?

Is your cousin incest in Australia? It isn't in many countries and no ill effect is found genetically. Unless of course you marry your cousin, their and your parents are cousins, and it was that way for generations. Then it really messes up the gene pool and causes masses of regressive gene disease. What sort of people would do that? Ann Cryer MP JP had some interesting views on that subject.

Thought Daniel might return home early on the Friday, upsetting the apple barrel completely, or Daniel might have been using PIs to observe his wife.

The vague insistence that Sammi-Jo didn't upset Daniel was very wet and non-specific, even before Rachael and Sami-Jo had a rug munching session. Did you just get bored with the story?

So the excuse for being a whore is sex addiction. Feels like a cop out but then again that's selfish people for you. As long as they get what they want. Poor Daniel, married to a whore and his son isn't really his.

Overly long, overly involved story about some horrible people, including a FMC who should just separate herself from her family, because apparently she has no loyalty to anything other than her carnal desires. 1*