All Comments on 'Sitting in the Dark'

Bait and switch on who was the cheating wife. Well played.

Nice story, I never saw that twist coming!

For some reason I figured out that it was his mother early on, but still liked the story. I was waiting for the twist to be that it was actually his wife lol.

Gave it 5 stars!

750 word stories just don't work! There isn't a story here.

I liked it, but the "I arrived" and mentioning who was already there but not mentioning the wife was a bit of a cheat. Could have just said "we arrived" and let us assume he meant the other siblings. Still, good job.

Thanks for the story.

Cog

Very nicely done! Very hard to pull any emotion out of the reader in only 750 words. But congrats! You were successful. Nice twist on the end as well!

Killian

Loved it .

Kind of wish you had submitted something else and kept this gem for a two page tale.

we knew it only could be his mother.

It takes talent to encompass an entire tale if 750 words, this one did very well.

5/5

You got me! Excellent story.

Well done. I agree with several comments already posted which point to the obvious notion that several more stories reside in this quick 'prelude.'

We're waiting... :-)

Clever!

This author has delivered again. Another very good and heartfelt story. Also can relate to the characters and as always appreciate that is kept ‘cuck free’. Well done!

Great twist. Thanks.

You lied. You said you were having trouble with 750 word stories. This was excellent and a real twist at the end. 5*

5*

I was pissed when I saw this was a short read and was thrilled when I got to the end. Thanks for your outstanding story.

and still a 5* short.

Nice misdirection. I had to read the crucial paragraph near the end twice to be sure. Thanks.

A perfect flash story, guiding us in one direction and turning 180. Quite brilliant!

The wife was supposed to be on her girls night out. How did she get on the porch with the others?

Thanks for the effort.

You fooled me!

That twist got me good. It was a great self contained short story too.

Thanks for sharing.

I we waiting for you to post again in LW, and although it's only 750 words, this was worth the wait. Great stoy.

I'm confused who cheated on who?

Nice sleigh of hands, or other parts of the body.

Fooled me well at the end!

got me 2 . good story.

Good job!

Thanks for sharing

but the plot was about twerking the reader, not telling a story.

At last, a 750 word story with an actually ending.

I loved the ending!

Great job.. 5 stars. Thanx!

Loklie

Dad's taking it better than the kids; I think mom should gird her loins because her world is about to explode. Thanks for posting.

Chur m8 awsum story

⭐⭐⭐⭐

Great punch line! Well done.

Five stars from me!

Love the end . Thanks

Almost perfect twist.

The author did a great job of taking advantage of LW readers preconceived notions. MC said 'she' was at her girls' night out. We assumed wife, but 'she' was not defined at the beginning. It was only later we can infer the 'she' was his mother going out and he went over to see his dad. MC never says his wife was not with him only that he went to see his father. It could very well be MC's wife was with him when he went to see his father.

This was probably one of the best 750 word stories. I imagine the king of short stories, Papatoad, would be impressed.

No contact from her kids.

No contact with the grandchildren

Freeze her out completely.

She brought it onto herself. Hopefully she will learn that some things are unacceptable.

Good surprise at the end.

Appreciate that and the novelty of this.

Early in the story I was feeling a little outraged that his father and sister knew of this without telling him, even investigating it for themselves first... then the hammer dropped.

Well done

makes for a shaky marriage, TK U MLJ LV NV

Love the misdirection

Just brilliant! Had to be a short one, or it wouldn't work.5*s,

Great little story. Lovely twist at the end.

Now, THAT'S how you do a twist!

Brilliant little story. 5 stars.

Super Twist - loved it, had to re-read it 2-3 times to get that you didn't for tell the twist.

The only thing missing is the total burning of the cheating slut.

Please write an ending to it. With your talent, it could only be a 5 star finale.

When it happens it all changes. The most precious, most important thing in your life is over at the snap of someone's fingers. And the thing you were thanking God for letting you experience went from the reason for living to something like sitting on the toilet to the one you shared it with. Just a bodily function. It can NEVER be the same again. And no drink nor drug will ever bring that feeling back.

One of the best examples of great writing is leaving readers wanting more of the story. You are that great writer and this story needs more. A sequel.

In the comments of one of his more recent stories, I stated my view that Just_Words is LW's resident expert on the topic of friendship. Another accolade comes to mind after reading this submission. Just_Words is also LW's reigning champion of misdirection.

Nicely done, sir, as always.

Perfect twist at the end.

Perfect flash story... With a twist. Well done!

And...BOOM...just like that a half page story blows away those excessively long drawn out War and Peace wannabe stories.

2nd time through and its still good.

Oooo rough. Nice close family though.thanks

Strong. Thanks, JW. Five stars, although it’s better than that.

Came out of left field that one. One of best 750's I have ever read.

Wow, good story, you sure had me fooled.

Clever. Even on the third re-read I can find no inconsistencies or hints of the bomb.

Nice twist, had me fooled

Good start, but incomplete.

Great twist. Didn’t see it coming. That’s why you’re worth following.

Clever, you sure're than hell knocked the wind outta my sails. Sheesh! You're quite the author Pal. worth keeping track of your exploits, cuz you're too good to miss. LP

i thought it was his wife until the twist. good job! keep it up.

It's not often I would like to see a continuation of a flash story but, in this case, I would love it.

Excellent. Five stars, unusual for such a short story. JPB

nice twisty twist especially in such a short one

Awesome switch

Oh that was a shock, mustn’t jump to conclusions.

Very good writing.

Very clever and carefully done.

Great twist. Very clever.

Wow! Great twist at the end as I figured it was his wife.

Well-done. Nice unexpected ending.

I know it’s only 750 words but I wish it was longer⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Didn't see that coming. You set it up well to appear it was his wife and not his mother doing the dirty. Excellent short story which could easily be expanded to give more detail on what happened before and after. If you wish to. BardnotBard

Enoyed the twist. 5*

Nice twist.

+1 for the twist.