All Comments on 'Slavery in a New World'

Wow. I hope there's a continuation of this story :)

Msny spellling errors or incorrect words - there instead of their, weather instead of whether, just to name a couple.

While you have solid plot with a sufficient amount of detail the grammar, spelling, and word choice must improve before I would feel it appropriate to give your story a 5/5.

Even though some people say grammar/spelling makes no difference in the flow of the story, I and the majority of readers always find it difficult to read any document with errors. After all that's why published books are 99% error-free.

Congratulations on a substantial beginning and I look forward to reading new chapters.

While you have solid plot with a sufficient amount of detail the grammar, spelling, and word choice must improve before I would feel it appropriate to give your story a 5/5.

Even though some people say grammar/spelling makes no difference in the flow of the story, I and the majority of readers always find it difficult to read any document with errors. After all that's why published books are 99% error-free.

Congratulations on a substantial beginning and I look forward to reading new chapters.

I love sci/fi and love the story. Don't worry much over grammar or spelling to me the story is the thing.

Don't loose faith, you have a good story. I would suggest that you take time to develop it. Not as a short story on literotica but as a novel where you can spend much longer giving us a better picture of your characters. setting the story in the future is a great idea you have lots of freedom to make the story as you want it. I would like to see Donna with Lord wotsit for a longer time that way losing him would be much more tramatic. Keep up the good work and dont rush it!

The story has a good premise or concept, and a number of good points, but it really needs a good editor and a lot more effort at refining it. The spelling and grammar have been mentioned and those are all very true, but there are also a lot of parts that just don't quite work, e.g. The city in a cave is hard to even imagine much less believe, and then she's looking at the stars from the garden of a house in the city in a cave? All of the problems are certainly very fixable with an editor to point them out. It could be really good story with a little more work, it just isn't there yet. All that having been said, I'm still looking forward to the next episode - the story itself is a good one and I enjoyed it.