Slaves of Set

I came nearly at once then, flooded her ass with my semen as I fell back against the bed, lost in the dizzying triumph of that moment. But it was not over, my orgasm shattered me but had no effect upon the viagra racing through my blood, the engorgement of my manhood or the act which she performed upon it. My climax passed without a comment, she hardly noticed, maybe missed it all together. I was insignificant, a minor character lost within a greater narrative.

Heedless, reckless, she plunged on.

I would have begged her to stop then, the intensity was too much. I would have pushed her away if my words could not reach her. But of course I could not...had she designed it that way? Now that I know her better I see that she must have. That her intention was never my pleasure, which would always fall well short of hers. Her intention was all that came after, in that dark place beyond my climax, when I was just a cock she rode, helpless and silent, sweet agony beneath her.

My cock did not subside, Sid did not cease to writhe upon it. My ears were full of the lewd sound of her movement, the hungry slurping of her body, the wet slap of her thighs upon me with each downward movement. The sound of the vibrator that worked upon her dripping pussy and more and more the words she spoke as she rode me on, helpless towards oblivion.

"It is always this way." She whispered to me, into my silence, into my helpless pleasure. "The first time...the first moment that you understand baby...The first time that you glimpse behind the veil and feel the touch of your true self...

What has my sister told you about me baby? What little secrets has she whispered into your ear across the years? Did she tell you who I really am? Has she ever told you why? No...No, I don't think she has at all...there are some secrets that you keep to yourself, that you want to be alone with...

That's alright baby...I'll leave her with her secrets. I'll tell you one of my own instead."

And with my cock buried in my ass, my body trembling and helpless beneath her weight, Sid told me a story of the war, of being fucked in the ass and of submission.

"I went to war because my heart was broken...I went to war because I was young and full of rage. A woman who wanted to burn the whole world and where else was I to go? I joined the army, wrapped my femininity in masculine armor. They gave me a rifle, they taught me how to fire it. They made me an MP and sent me into Fallujah in the back of an armored humvee to smash in doors and to drag other women out into the night by their hair...a human grenade hurled in rage into other people's lives...because I was a woman, and so I was allowed to lay hands on other women, without violating religious taboos...

God, baby, but I was strong then. So strong and so fierce and so beautiful...a hideous strength. I was revered by the men who surrounded me for the savagery I brought to my task, a true warrior that even the war struggled to contain. My rage, my violence...It was something awful baby...it was something ecstatic and religious, like the dark ages falling over Western Europe.

Hot as the desert is I burned it up with my passage...I left behind me blackened glass, transformed the sands into a wilderness of twisted mirrors through which I watched myself wandering, faster and faster towards an ending I knew but could not name...

I thought I would die in the war sweetheart. I thought I would die in the streets of fallujah and that would be the final cure to my shattered heart and the answer for all the rage I had poured out into that land, sacred oil...napht on fire. But the end that I found was not in death, but life.

I met someone you see...not a man, as you might imagine, because I had gone to the world of men. In spite of my sex, in every way that counted, at war I was a man myself. But in that world of men, within that war which I found, I met a woman.

An ambulance driver, she wore armor but she never carried a gun. And where I was praised for my fury, she was loved for her lack of it. I could have hated her, we were so different, the stark ends of the spectrum of women in the war. But I could not hate her...I loved her instead. It was easy to love her."

Blind I felt the images of her words unfolding in my mind, radiating upwards, colored by the fiery pleasure of my cock so deep in her pounding ass. I saw, imagined two women, young and fierce, on red desert nights in a land I had witnessed only through the news, the streets of fallen cities, the feral cries of dogs upon the wind. I imagined them together beneath the flaming stars, shorn of their armor, curled up in the trappings of combat. Naked lovers cuddled against the fury of war.

"I had been many things before I went to the war, so many things that I was sure of. Always strong, always fierce and proud. Always defiant...I had been a conqueror from birth, it had defined me long before I ever went to the colors and the guns to ease my broken heart. And she...she was none of that, or at least she didn't seem it. She was so sweet, so fragile, so demure when we were together. I imagined her like a field of wheat and I was the wind come to ravage and blow.

But she taught me many things in the nights we were together. She taught me that no one is any one thing, that no one is truly what they seem or even what they have thought. We are all mirror, all reflections, cast by nothing...we are refracted shades of a whole that never truly existed at all...

I was like you...so strong in my desire. Her weakness inflamed me, spurred me on like a whip to possess her. But she taught me what true strength was...she taught me that true strength does not exist without weakness. The dominance and that submission are just two names for the same thing.

There was a night when she bound me, as I have bound you. Tied my arms, and gagged my mouth, blindfolded me...but it was my ass that was fucked that night. For the very first time, that sweet and gentle woman bent me to her will, chained me to this earth and with a cock of black rubber she penetrated me as no one ever had before.

That night I was not strong, I was not fierce. I was not the conqueror but the conquered and she butt fucked me without respite and without mercy, until the early dawn.

She taught me so many things...Broke me and built me once again...the same as I had been before, but more finished, more complete. She made me love the restraints I wore, the submission forced upon me. She made me relish the loss of all control as she made me come with a plastic cock ramming in and out of my ass hole.

And she gave a name to what I was, to what we were, our purpose in this life. I've never forgotten, that lesson has never faded for a minute in all the years from that one to this...that we were Setian Heretics, rebels in the bowels of a new Rome. That we were the memory of monsters who had been consigned to the pits and to the stars, but we were still here and still vibrant, burning, all our passion, all our glory.

We were rebel angels, chaos agents, and the only world that was ever real was the one that we decided on, the one we built between us. And we were beautiful...beyond all sin."

Was there more to the story? There must have been...things she said that I missed beneath the sound of her passion, moments when her voice dropped to a throaty whisper, details that I did not understand or simply that I did not concentrate upon and now are lost to me. There were other things on my mind that night, of course there were.

How long did it last? I have no way of knowing. All was black and heat and words and silence. The hours were the growing ache in my distended jaws and the drool that pooled around the gag that muted me. Time was the growing ache in my swollen glans, the movements she made upon it, the spreading numbness in my arms, my shoulders. Pleasure fading once more into exhaustion, delirium fading into the stuff of dream,

Once more I know that she rode me well past the limits of my endurance, impossible without the pills I had ingested to fulfill her needs. I do not know how many times she drained my testiceles in weaker and weaker ejaculations, spilling watery seed into her ass in smaller and smaller brushes, tiny oblivions.

With each fresh climax I felt myself drift further, more remote from my body, from the scene in which it was bound. Until I might have slept within my bonds, nothing more than a cock in a snare, no identity left beyond it.

I heard the waves of her own pleasure, I heard her climaxes from far away mixing with her words, her distant movements. So far and far away...

Did I sleep?

Did I fade away and wake as something else, another mind in my own exhausted skin?

I know that I was unaware when she climbed off of me, that she rolled me over on the bed and unbound my arms without my noticing, because in my next couincess moment the blind was pulled from off my eyes, my arms were free, and Sid was crouched on the bed beside me, easing the gag from out of my jaws.

"Stay still." Sid warned me. "Only a little longer now. Just one more thing..."

I remember the light of morning creeping through the windows as she crouched over my dazed face. She bid me to clean myself from her ass with my tongue...was I still dreaming? I must have been, for I did it without protest, and the last of my strength. I weakly drove my lips and tongue to the distended hole between her reddened cheeks, and I tasted myself there, draining out of her.

And I thought nothing. Nothing at all.

There was nothing left of me to spend in thought.

When I woke again I was surprised to find that I was still in her room, still in her bed, and she was stirring in the sheets beside me, an arm thrown across my chest as she told me groggily to rest, to relax, to forget and to go to sleep.

And so I did.

I am not sure of what followed...some were dreams...others not.

In the blackness of my exhaustion, drained of all life and energy, longing only to sleep forever I can remember words, whispers...fragments of truth or rumors of lies, I have no way of knowing and now I cannot piece it all together. How long did I linger in her room? The rest of the day? Through the night that followed?

It might have been forever.

I remember that once she brought me food on a tray and she fed me cereal with a spoon. I know that she reported that she had told Jack that I was feeling ill, and that he should stay away from me, and I was glad for that, and for the food.

I know that she bathed my body with a sponge, and that she rubbed fragrant oils on my drawn and bruised skin. I know that at some point my prick was in her mouth and would not harden, that she swirled her tongue upon my testicles , that she took them both into her cheeks and still licked at the tender place between balls and ass, and I felt soothed but still to numb for any sensation resembling pleasure.

I know that she moved me around the bed, and around the room. Between waking and the dream, the hypnagogic hours I was clay to be moulded in her hands, but what was done I have not the slightest idea.

I must have tasted her pussy. I am almost sure that I probed her anus with my tongue.

There was a moment when she held out her hand, and there were two blue pills upon her palm, and she bid me lick them off of her. Without a thought and without a question I did.

Was it night or day?

Did we exist in time at all?

I can only be sure that some time passed.

I can only distinctly remember Sid looking down on me, and the half smile on her face.

She said, "You know that it is all going to change don't you? You know that it will never be the same...you wouldn't want it to."

I can remember opening my eyes and staring up at the painting on the wall,saying clearly, seeing clearly,"It isn't you...the paintings are not of you at all..."

Exhaustion reigned. The was no longer any escape, no more putting it off. All my recollections are just islands in the greater current that was, at last, sleep.

When I came to myself if it was daylight, and when I opened my eyes the only thought in my head was once again the enormity of what I had done.

I can see now the repetitive cycle of my thinking, the way it moved through ruts. Guilt in full reign until desire rose to supplant it's crown, and it is such a silly thing to realize about oneself, but there it was. I woke up rested and I woke up guilty.

I had fucked Sid a dozen times, in her pussy and her ass, and now at last with a long sleep behind me I knew that I was done. It had been exciting, there was no denying that I had wanted it and had enjoyed it, but all the same it was a mistake and I would end it.

That was my first thought...my second thought, the dawning awareness that overpowered it was that I was still in Sid's room, and what is more that I was tied at wrists and ankles, spread eagled on the bed by the iron posts that marked it's corners. I was alone in the room, and my cock was hard, a trace of lipstick upon it, and I quickly discovered that there was no removing myself from my bonds.

She had tied me down, God knew what else...and for the first time I came to understand what she had meant, that if I began it would go to the end, that she did not intend for there to be a single point of return.

As if on cue Sid entered, and she smiled to see me awake. A phone was pressed to her ear, and as she moved closer to me she spoke into the receiver,

"Yeah, he's awake now...like I said, it looks like he's doing a little better. I wouldn't think that it's the virus...just some bug...yeah...I'll keep an eye on it. Do you want to talk to him now?"

I could hear a voice on the other end of the line, and as Sid moved the phone towards me I knew that it was my cell phone, and that it was my wife on the line.

She held the phone against my ear, and I knew that there was no option but to go along.

"Sweetheart?" I hear Josie say on the other end, her voice full of concern. " Sid says that you're sick...Nothing serious I hope?"

"No baby, nothing like that. It's just a bad cold really...I've been sleeping a lot...but nothing you need to worry about."

"Well times like these baby, you can't be too careful...seriously, you're alright?"

"Seriously Josie, I'm alright. Mostly I've just been tired...but really, I'm alright."

"Ok Sweetie...how's Sid? She's taking care of you?"

"Ummm...I haven't really needed to be taken care of by any means, but yeah, she's been checking in. It's been fine."

There was a pause on my wifes end of the line, I could hear her breathing and pondering and then, " I was worried that she might turn...I don't know. Strange...with you and John. Nothing weird?"

"How do you mean weird baby? What is it exactly that you are worried about?"

Another pause upon the line. "Is she still right there? Can she hear us?"

I looked up at Sid, but she was staring off out the window, no sense that she was listening at all.

"No."

"Well...look, nevermind. It doesn't matter...it was a long time ago anyway. Just feel better honey, and if you don't...well you know. Go to the clinic and get yourself tested. We can't just assume that it's a cold right?"

"I'm sure it's just a cold Josie, but I promise, if it lasts much longer I'll schedule a test...look don't worry about it. Just do what you have to do in Chicago and then come back home, ok?"

"Ok. I love you baby."

"I love you too."

Sid did not say a word as she hung up my phone. She did not even look at me as I demanded to know why I was tied down, demanded to be let go.

"No." was her reply. "This is the hardest part...believe me. Right now is the hardest thing you will ever have to face."

Her calm made me uneasy, as did her refusal to simply release me. I told her that I had no idea what she was talking about, told her that being tied to a bed was no part of any fantasy I had ever had.

"No fantasy you have ever admitted to." Sid told me. "Like I said, this is the hardest part. Right now you are in it baby...you are standing, lying, at the crossroads...what comes next is coming, whether you are ready for it or not. We've come too far to turn back now...believe me baby, it's easier this way."

"What is easier?" I demanded. "Look Sid, Josie is suspicious, John is downstairs...what's done is done, but you're going too far. Let me go."

"Too far?" She smiled. "There's no such thing baby. Not for me and not for you...if there was you wouldn't be here. You could have told me to stop the first time I put your cock in your mouth...instead you came. You could have left it there....but instead you had to ream my pussy, had to plow my ass...and now here you are. Out of frontiers to conquer, and it's time to be conquered yourself. You came to this point of your own free will...you'll pass to the next stage out of sheer need. But here, right here...well this is where it's hard."

In futility I pulled against the tethers that bound me, but of course she had been careful and the bindings did not budge. Nor was there a hint of pity in Sid's eyes. Instead they were full of something else...was it desire?

It occured to me that I had no idea what such an emotion might look like upon her. I had glimpsed her pleased, had glimpsed her hungry, ready, sated...but that look was different.

Was it love?

It was not the way that Josie looked upon me, to be sure. Not the look of a wife for a husband and yet it was a look that bespoke a tenderness that Sid had never shown. And it was a look the frightened me, as I had no idea as to what it intended and what it was that could possibly follow.

"You are afraid baby." Sid told me. "That's alright. That's normal. There is nothing in your life that has ever prepared you for this. The moment when one thing becomes another, when time shifts and changes...messianic time, redemptive time."

I had no idea then what Sid was speaking of. I simply thought that she had gone insane, or worse, that she had always been insane and that I had simply never noticed. Now, I have learned things that I didn't know then, and if I cannot claim to completely understand, then at least I know enough to say that she was not crazy. Or at least she was not wholly so.

But at the time I had not studied the works of obscure German thinkers in the quiet freedom of the evening hours, had not read the mystic works of American tramps and Swedenborgian hobo's camped out in the graveyards of the world...I have done so now. I cannot say whether Sid's vision of the world and our place within it is right or wrong. But I can say that she has not called it up from nowhere.

I can say too, with all that has passed between us that Sid was far from wrong. That in that moment Sid knew me better than I knew myself. Glimpsed something within me that I had never truly known.

Of course none of that was clear to me then, when I was tied and helpless on her bed, insisting that she let me go.

But once more Sid only refused.

"You'll feel better when I've fucked you." She told me, reaching down to stroke my engorged cock, her soft hand squeezing tightly. "All that viagra running through you...it's been a couple hours now, you must be starting to hurt a little bit..."

And as she said it I realized that it was true, that there was a sharp ache in the bottom of my testicles, that I could have been hard for hours without any release. And once again, as soon as she drew my attention to my prick my will began to weaken.

Not at at once, not all the way. I still protested that I wanted to be freed, but there was less passion in my argument. Less certainty. Part of me believed,longed to believe,that I could have it both ways. Part of me wanted to believe that even tied to a bed and helpless before her that I still retained some degree of control. Some lingering hint of masculine power. But my prostestations faded a little more with each stroke she gave to my cock, each unstated offer that there at least I would be released.