All Comments on 'Slut Son Ch. 09 - Last Workout'

Still a great story, you replied to my comment on the previous chapter that you worried I wouldn't like this one, but that was unfounded, still five stars. I think you may have lost some stars on the male anal part, but I'm personally just left wanting a pegging portion as part of a threesome while the other woman rides Simon, to predictable inflationary+ejectory results. I could even suggest a transgender character getting introduced to provide that "input" but I'm not sure that's your thing, and might turn off some people. If Candice had hooked up with the gym bros for some reason, that would have been a turn off for me meanwhile, preferably keep Simon the only male within miles radius getting some action beyond spectating lol.

My main criticism of this story is that it felt like other than "more training" and "more M/S sex" there wasn't anything new beyond the anal play in this chapter, at least compared to previous chapters where there always seemed to be something more in terms of "new" getting added, but it was still entertaining. Not sure if including Mel as mentioned would have done much for that, since the focus of the story I feel should always be on the titular character. Though adding Mel along for the ride for a future gym session as she tries to deal with her own self-image issues could be nice. Also as a side note, loved the heart emojis added to that one sentence, haven't seen that being done before in a literotica story to my knowledge.

My main issue with the previous story is that you could have made very minor changes and just published it as a stand-alone story, since the identity of the slaves were never revealed, so it sort of felt disconnected a bit to the previous chapters in that regard. Just having an epilogue of sorts a couple of sentences long where the masks comes off and a tearful Candice begs her son for forgiveness in her part of it, with the slut of course having loved all of it but the near-cockplosion at the end, and restating his mission parameters that he is always going to be up for anything she presents to him, as a good slut should, and as he promised Brigit early on. Then Candice muses about the anal plug as Simon gives a comic-book style gulp, leading into this chapter. That would IMO have tied that chapter better to the rest.

For this chapter in comparison, while I stated my desire for something "new" I am unable to really suggest what that "new" would have been (having sex at the gym would have been obvious, but would have likely been too likely to bite Simon in the ass - in a non-sexy way - even if Candice was unidentified), so that's probably a indication you did good and I've just become too demanding of you, lol.

@Zurrlock, thank you for your feedback. I really appreciate that you took the time to not just read the chapter, but also give me an in-depth, comprehensive review of the positive, and negative, elements in this series. I must have read your response a dozen times. I think chapter eight was a bit of a failed experiment. I thought that perhaps it could have been interpreted as one of those ambiguous stories, where you're not sure if it really happened. Although, looking at my plot chart, I ruin that mystery when the daughter of the Puerto Rican reveals to Simon she had followed her mother and recorded her saying, "my daughter wouldn't know what to do." Time permitting, maybe I can do a re-write of chapter eight, or a large edit and re-submit.

Regarding your criticism of this story, I don't think I disagree with a single point you made. Again, you made a really compelling argument. There really wasn't anything new to elevate, or to push the arousal of the reader even higher. For future chapters, Simon is supposed to be able to cum multiple times, I thought I could slowly work in more prostate and anal stimulation and use that as justification later on. But that connection wasn't made. Regrettably, this turned into a very forgettable chapter.

I'm glad you liked the heart emojis at Candice's biggest climax. Another little experiment I thought I would test out for this chapter. I'm still on a mission to differentiate myself among so many great story tellers, like yourself, I haven't seen that style used in other stories. And perhaps I'm too heavily influenced by erotic comics, but I'd love for my stories to be read like one of those.

I think it's your right to be demanding. An artist is only as good as the audience decides they are. I could blindly forge ahead, or learn from your feedback and correct the ship before readers just give up on the series. I hope you'll continue to read this series, and I look forward to your review.

Great, outside of the pissing.

@cokeandsympathy, thank you. The micturition was inspired by another story that did it better. I prefer writing about squirting anyway so I'll be focusing on that kink again.